Harry Potter: Most Annoying System Ever Chapter 76 76: The Aquatic Rent-Seeker and The Diary Protoco

The atmosphere inside Malfoy Manor had shifted from "aristocratic tension" to "impending vascular explosion."

Lucius Malfoy was a man on the edge. The Ministry raids were intensifying, Arthur Weasley was pushing legislation with the fervor of a man on a crusade, and the secret cellar beneath the drawing room was becoming a source of constant, high-stakes anxiety.

"He's going to pop," Orion whispered to himself, watching his father pace the length of the dining room for the fortieth ti that morning, muttering about "blood traitors" and "incompetent bureaucrats." "I give it three days before he accidentally hexes a house-elf out of sheer stress."

The tension culminated on the morning of their twelfth birthday.

Usually, a Malfoy birthday was a social event of the season. A gala. A ballroom filled with the glitterati of magical Britain.

"No gala," Lucius announced at breakfast, looking haggard. "We shall have a private family dinner. Lavish, of course. But private. The current... political climate... makes large gatherings unwise."

Draco looked as though he had been slapped. "No gala? But Father! I wanted to show off my new robes! Pansy was going to co! Blaise was going to see the peacocks!"

"Draco," Orion cut in smoothly, before Lucius could snap. "Think about it. A gala ans standing around for four hours shaking hands with old n who sll like mothballs. A private birthday ans we have the entire day to ourselves."

He leaned in, whispering the magic word. "Pool day."

Draco's eyes lit up. The tantrum evaporated instantly. "The pool. Yes. You're right. Who needs guests?"

The afternoon sun blazed down on the lower lawn. The marble pool shimred in the heat, the water perfectly regulated to a refreshing cool.

Orion lounged on the stone coping, dipping his feet in the water. He was wearing a pair of sleek black swim trunks he had ordered via owl post. Draco, thanks to Orion's foresight, was also properly attired in a pair of erald green trunks, finally freed from the indignity of swimming in his underwear or transfigured trousers.

"This is the life," Draco sighed, floating on his back in the center of the pool. "Father can keep his politics. I'm never leaving this water."

DING.

[ ACHIEVENT UNLOCKED! ]

Tier: 1 (Basic)

Na: The Aquatic Enabler

Description: You have successfully converted a high-strung pureblood heir into a water-loving sloth. Draco Malfoy has forgotten about blood purity, Harry Potter, and his own vanity in favor of buoyancy. You have introduced the concept of a 'Pool Day' to the aristocracy.

Reward: 1x Auto-Inflatable Enchanted Water Bed (Lounge Edition).

Orion smirked. "Inventory."

A small, folded packet appeared in his hand. He tossed it onto the water.

POOF.

With a sound like a soft explosion, the packet expanded instantly. It wasn't a cheap muggle raft. It was a floating chaise lounge made of shimring, translucent blue material that felt like silk but floated like rubber. It had a cup holder. It had a headrest. It gently bobbed on the ripples.

Draco scrambled upright in the water, splashing wildly. "What is that?"

"A water bed," Orion said, climbing onto it and lying back. "Self-inflating. Ergonomic. And currently, mine."

Draco swam over, eyeing the float with intense envy. He touched the side. It was soft and cool.

"I want it," Draco demanded imdiately. "Give it to , Orion. It's my birthday too."

"It's our birthday," Orion corrected, closing his eyes behind his sunglasses. "And this is my loot. If you wanted one, you should have unlocked an achievent."

"What does that even an?" Draco whined, trying to climb onto the edge, only for Orion to gently push him back into the water with one finger. "Co on! Just for a bit!"

Orion opened one eye. The gears of capitalism turned in his mind.

"I suppose..." Orion drawled. "I could be persuaded to lease it to you."

"Lease?"

"Rent, Draco. Rent," Orion sat up. "You have a stash of Honeydukes finest in your room. The stash you hid from Mother so she wouldn't lecture you on dental hygiene."

Draco narrowed his eyes. "How do you know about that?"

"I know everything," Orion said simply. "Here are the terms. Ten Chocolate Frogs gets you thirty minutes. A box of Acid Pops gets you an hour. The entire stash gets you the afternoon."

Draco looked at the comfortable, floating lounge. He looked at the cool water. He thought about his candy.

"Fine!" Draco splashed water at him. "Take the frogs! Just get off!"

Orion rolled off the float with a laugh, swimming to the edge. "Pleasure doing business with you, brother."

As Draco climbed triumphantly onto the float, looking like a king on a watery throne, Orion dried himself off with a wave of his wand. It was a good birthday. Peaceful. Profitable.

That night, however, the peace gave way to planning.

Orion lay in his bed, the silence of the manor pressing in. The day of leisure was over. The gears of the future were turning.

"Second Year," Orion whispered to the ceiling.

"The Chamber of Secrets," Sparkle replied, her interface dim and serious. "Basilisks. Spiders. And a diary that talks back."

"I've been thinking," Orion said, lacing his fingers behind his head. "About the narrative."

"You an how you're going to break it?"

"No," Orion corrected. "About how I broke it last year, and what it cost ."

He sat up, his expression thoughtful in the dim light.

"When I took out Quirrell early, I thought I was being clever. I removed the threat. But the vacuum was filled by sothing completely unpredictable—the Higgs situation. The possession of a Lord, the hostage crisis, the death of a pureblood patriarch. It worked out, but it was ssy. I was flying blind for months."

He frowned, tapping his chin.

"I realized sothing, Sparkle. My greatest advantage in this world isn't my magical core or my system. It's my foreknowledge. I know the script. But the more I change the script, the more that knowledge becos obsolete."

"So... you want to preserve the tiline?"

"I want to preserve my advantage," Orion clarified. "If I steal the Diary from Lucius's study right now, I stop the Chamber from opening. Fine. But then what? The tiline fractures. Voldemort tries sothing else—sothing I haven't read about. Sothing I can't predict. I trade a known danger for an unknown chaos."

He shook his head.

"I like unpredictability when I cause it. I hate it when it happens to . If I let the Diary go to Ginny Weasley, I know the schedule. I know about the writing on the wall, the petrified cat, the Dueling Club, the Polyjuice Potion. I know where the danger is and when it happens."

"But your presence alone changes things," Sparkle pointed out. "The Butterfly Effect. You changed the narative of the first year, your actions have changed the perspectives of so many people already, you antagonized the Golden Trio, differently than Draco. You can't guarantee canon will play out exactly the sa."

"I know," Orion smirked. "That's the fun part. I'm going to let the skeleton of the plot stand, and I'm going to wing it around the edges. I'll let the canon happen, simply because it provides a structured environnt for to exploit. I can reap the benefits of the Dueling Club, study the Heir's magic, and maybe loot the Chamber... all while knowing exactly when to duck."

"And if it goes off the rails?"

"If the ripples beco waves—if Ginny dies, or if the Basilisk starts killing people instead of just petrifying them—then I intervene," Orion said firmly. "I'll step in, take the Diary, and end it. But as long as the canon persists within acceptable safety margins, I will let it be."

He lay back down, pulling the duvet up.

"I'm not here to be a savior, Sparkle. I'm here to explore magic. I want to understand elental spells, ancient runes, soul magic, if possible, even the Dark Arts. If saving the world happens, it will be a side effect of keeping my playground intact."

"That's very... Slytherin of you," Sparkle noted. "What about Potter?"

"Potter is the Hero," Orion said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "He needs the adversity. He needs the trauma to grow into the weapon Dumbledore wants him to be. Let him hunt the Heir. Let him fight the snakes."

Orion closed his eyes, a small, contented smile playing on his lips.

"I've never claid to be the hero of this story. That is Potter's role. Let him be Fate's whipping boy. I'll just be the one watching from the VIP box, taking notes and stealing the loot."

"Chaos Lord," Orion whispered, drifting toward sleep. "But a controlled chaos. That's the goal."