When the needle-points pierced toward her, Hiro did not dodge.
It wasn't that she didn't want to; it was that she didn't need to.
She knew what would happen next.
She would die, and then everything would start over.
Just like the last ti.
So she simply stood there, watching those white needles fly toward her.
But soone blocked the path in front of her.
Hikigaya.
He suddenly rushed over, standing in front of her with his arms spread wide.
The needles pierced into his body.
His chest, his abdon, his shoulders.
Blood sprayed out, splashing across her face.
It was warm.
Hiro froze.
Sothing was wrong.
The script wasn't supposed to be like this.
It should have been her dying, and then a restart.
Not him.
Not him dying in her place.
Hikigaya fell backward.
Hiro reached out her arms to catch him.
His body was heavy, sinking downward; she knelt on the ground, cradling him.
Blood gushed from him, unstoppable, staining her hands, her clothes, her face.
There was blood everywhere.
He looked at her.
Those dead-fish eyes were terrifyingly calm; there was no pain, no fear, no lingering regret.
Hiro suddenly rembered many things.
She rembered the first ti she saw him: he was sweeping the classroom alone because the other person had run off, so he did the work of two people himself. When asked why he didn't report it to the teacher, he said he was used to it.
She rembered yesterday at the Service Club when she said she was going to expose the rumors; he said it was useless, talked about the rumors he experienced in middle school, and said that no one would care about the truth.
She rembered the look in his eyes as he walked past her before going to drop out.
She hadn't understood then.
Now, she seed to understand a little.
He had always been like this.
It didn't matter if he was left behind, it didn't matter if he was gossiped about, it didn't matter if he carried the burden alone.
Even dying... didn't matter.
Hiro looked down at him.
By what right did he get to be indifferent?
By what right did he block the needles for her?
What was her relationship to him?
None.
Nothing at all.
She had only investigated Ema's business and t him a few tis in the Service Club.
That was all.
And that was worth dying for her?
She thought about the things she had done.
Every single one was "correct."
Every single one was done with righteous confidence.
But what about him?
Which of the things he did was "correct"?
Taking the fall for Ema's rumors was wrong, dropping out was wrong, and shielding her was even more wrong.
But as she held him now, she couldn't think through what was right and what was wrong anymore.
Sothing slid down her face.
It was hot.
She reached out to touch it.
It was wet.
Tears.
She was crying.
She didn't know when she had started.
Hiro lowered her head, looking at his face.
The blood on her hands had already turned cold.
He looked at her.
His pupils began to dilate, as if there were a barrier between them.
Then, he opened his mouth.
His voice was very soft.
So soft it was almost inaudible.
But Hiro heard it.
"...I'm sorry."
Sorry?
Hiro's throat tightened.
She wanted to shout his na— Hikigaya Hachiman.
She knew it.
But she couldn't shout it.
Sothing was stuck in her throat, refusing to co out.
"...Hikigaya."
Her voice was very soft.
Soft, as if she were afraid of waking him.
No one answered.
Only the wind blew past.
Another sound ca from the side.
It was sobbing.
A suppressed sobbing, like it was being squeezed from the depths of a throat.
Hiro looked up.
Ema was kneeling not far away.
She didn't know when Ema had fallen; she was kneeling on the ground with both hands supporting her weight, her entire body shaking violently.
She was looking at Hikigaya.
Those pink eyes were filled with water.
Tears flowed relentlessly, covering her face, but she didn't wipe them away.
"Hikigaya... kun..."
Her voice was broken.
"You... didn't you say... you wouldn't leave..."
She crawled forward one step.
Then another.
She crawled to Hikigaya's side.
She reached out her hand, wanting to touch his face.
The mont her fingers brushed his cheek, she pulled back.
As if she had been burned.
Then she reached out again.
Gently, so very gently, she touched him once.
"Cold..."
She said.
Her voice was shaking.
"Why... is it cold..."
She grabbed his hand, clutching it tightly.
Blood squeezed out from between her fingers, but she didn't care.
She just held on.
"Say sothing...
Aren't you... aren't you good at talking...
You said I... said I was lying to myself...
You said we... we were the sa..."
She lowered her head, her forehead resting against the back of his hand.
Her shoulders shook even harder.
"I'll change... I'll change everything...
I won't play dumb anymore... I won't follow you anymore...
Get up... get up and look at ...
I'll show you I can change..."
No one responded.
Only the sound of the wind.
Ema lay there, her shoulders twitching.
Crying without a sound.
It was more painful to witness than a loud scream.
Hiro watched her.
Watched Ema kneeling there, clutching Hikigaya's hand.
"I just... just wanted you not to leave..."
She just wanted soone not to leave.
She just wanted him to stay with her.
What was wrong with that?
Hiro didn't know.
She used to think everything Ema did was wrong.
Intentionally playing dumb was wrong, faking weakness was wrong, and spreading rumors was even more wrong.
But now?
She was kneeling here, holding a man who had died for her.
What right did she have to judge Ema?
She had exerted all her effort, done everything she believed to be "correct," for the sake of the righteousness she held dear.
And then?
Then Hikigaya lay in her arms.
His blood had gone cold.
Hiro closed her eyes.
Enough.
She was going to start over.
Make it so none of this ever happened.
Make Hikigaya live.
Make it so Ema never ca to the rooftop.
Make this world return to true "correctness."
She reached into her pocket.
The fountain pen.
It was still there.
She took out the pen.
Yuki's pen.
She pulled off the cap.
Revealing the sharp nib.
She gripped the pen tight and aid it at her own neck.
"Don't move."
A voice ca from behind her.
Hiro froze.
Soone was standing behind her.
Who?
She wanted to turn around, but she couldn't move.
Her body wouldn't obey her.
"You want to return by death, right?"
The voice said.
"That's not allowed."
Hiro's pupils contracted sharply.
How did they know about the return by death?
"Because..."
The voice paused.
Then Hiro saw light.
Light emitting from her arms.
From Hikigaya.
A blinding white light.
It grew brighter and brighter.
So bright she couldn't keep her eyes open.
So bright everything around her was swallowed up.
Only that voice remained in her ear.
"You can no longer return by death."
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