At the sa ti, on the other side of the school building, Sakuraba Ema was walking slowly through the corridor.
She didn't know where she was going, nor did she know what she should be doing.
She just kept walking, step by step, aimlessly.
Saeki Miria followed behind her, wanting to say sothing to comfort her, but not knowing what to say.
"Ema..."
Sakuraba Ema did not answer.
She reached the stairwell and ca to a halt.
Then she turned around and looked at Saeki Miria.
"Saeki-san."
Her voice was very soft, and unusually calm.
"I... I want to be alone for a little while."
"But..."
"It's okay." Sakuraba Ema forced a smile, but it was strained. "I just... want to be alone for a little while."
Saeki Miria looked at her, hesitated for a long ti, and finally nodded.
"Okay... then I'll wait for you in the classroom."
"Mm."
Sakuraba Ema nodded and turned to walk up the stairs.
She climbed floor by floor until she reached the top floor and arrived at the door to the rooftop.
The door was not locked.
She pushed it open and stepped outside.
The rooftop was empty, save for the sound of the wind blowing through.
Sakuraba Ema walked over to the railing. she sat down leaning against it, feeling the cold of the tal seep through her school uniform.
The sky was very blue; the clouds were very white.
Everything looked exactly the sa as yesterday.
But Hiro... she accepted Hikigaya-kun's confession.
They are boyfriend and girlfriend now.
Sakuraba Ema blinked.
Should she feel sad?
Should she feel heartbroken?
Should she feel... anything?
She didn't know.
She only felt that her heart was empty.
It was as if sothing had been extracted.
But at the sa ti, it felt as though, in truth, there had been nothing there to begin with.
It wasn't that she had been hollowed out; she had always been empty.
Just now it was Hikigaya-kun's response, and before that it was Hiro's attention. She had treated the existence of others as her own possession, thinking it belonged to her, clutching onto it with a death grip. Now that those things were taken away, she realized that there was actually nothing inside her heart.
She rembered the words Nikaido Hiro said yesterday in the clubroom.
"It is your fault."
"But it's not just you."
"This hollow self-reproach helps no one solve the problem; it only makes you feel a little better."
Hiro was right.
She had been blaming herself constantly, apologizing constantly, saying "it's all my fault" constantly.
But what use was that?
The rumors were still continuing.
Hikigaya-kun still had to go through with that kind of thing.
Saeki Miria-san still had to worry about her.
Nothing had changed.
Nothing at all.
She had never possessed anything. Hikigaya-kun had never liked her; Hiro had never forgiven her.
She was just standing there alone, clutching a handful of air, pretending she had sothing in her hands.
She looked down at her hands; these hands could catch nothing, protect nothing—they only caused trouble for others.
Sakuraba Ema closed her eyes.
The wind blew across her cheeks; it was a bit chilly.
She thought of Hikigaya-kun again.
She thought of the words he said yesterday in the clubroom.
"I'm going to confess to Nikaido-san in front of everyone tomorrow at noon. Then, she will reject . That way, the whole school will be talking about my confession, and naturally, no one will care about the rumors surrounding Sakuraba Ema anymore."
"I didn't have anything worth discussing anyway. Being laughed at for a few days in exchange for Sakuraba Ema getting so peace—it's not a bad trade."
He clearly could have ignored her.
He clearly could have pretended he knew nothing.
He clearly could have...
But he didn't.
He chose the most clumsy thod—sacrificing himself—to try and protect her.
But now, Nikaido Hiro had accepted the confession.
The plan failed.
No, the plan changed.
Nikaido Hiro had changed the plan in her own way.
Sakuraba Ema opened her eyes.
She looked at the distant sky for a long ti.
Then, she smiled.
"Hiro..."
She whispered.
"You really are... just the sa as before."
She thought back to the Nikaido Hiro of middle school.
Back when they were still friends.
Although she was always taken care of by her, and there was never any verbal disdain, she always felt an invisible barrier between her and Hiro.
Sakuraba Ema had always felt that Nikaido Hiro was excellent, powerful, and very cold.
But now she knew.
Hiro wasn't cold; she just... didn't know how to express herself.
She was simply used to using her own way to protect others.
Just like now, protecting Hikigaya-kun by accepting his confession.
Protecting her by becoming his "girlfriend."
Sakuraba Ema lowered her head.
Should she be happy?
They are together now.
She should be happy.
But...
Why does it still feel... so sad?
Sakuraba Ema didn't know.
Suddenly, a thought occurred to her.
Hiro and Hikigaya-kun are together. Hiro was her forr friend, and Hikigaya-kun was also her "friend."
Since they are together, she doesn't have to worry about either of them leaving. Because as long as they are together, they won't leave—they won't leave each other, and they won't leave her.
She would bless them. She would smile and bless them. She would watch them from the side. Watch them eat together, go ho together, and do all the things couples do.
She would be there as a friend, smiling, saying "you two are such a good match," saying "that's wonderful."
That would be enough. That way, they wouldn't leave. That way, she wouldn't be alone. As long as she went along with them, as long as she didn't beco that annoying person, as long as she was good, they wouldn't abandon her.
A gust of wind blew across the rooftop, ssing up her hair and fluttering her uniform.
She hugged her body a little tighter, knees pressed against her chest; she could feel her heartbeat.
She didn't know what she was thinking, nor did she know what she should be thinking. Her mind was empty, as if swept clean by the wind, leaving only one thought.
Smile. Just keep smiling. Don't think so much. Just keep smiling.
The rooftop door was pushed open a crack. Saeki stood at the doorway, looking at the back of the figure curled into a ball, and made no sound.
Sakuraba Ema sat there, motionless, the corners of her mouth curved up, her eyes closed as if she were asleep.
She just sat there—small, quiet, lting into the sunlight.
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