As Kane abruptly accelerated, he plumted from the cloud layer in a matter of seconds, transitioning to a low-altitude flight as he began to circle the Hogwarts Express.
The young wizards inside quickly noticed the strange broom chasing the train. They poked their heads out of the windows in curiosity—among them, naturally, was Hermione.
The mont she heard there was a broom tailing the train, she realized she hadn't seen a single sign of Kane, Harry, or Ron since boarding. She knew imdiately: those three had huddled together to "go big" again.
Wasting no ti, she walked toward the front of the train, intending to ask the driver to slow down so the trio could catch up and climb aboard.
On the "Pee Pee Shrimp," the three boys felt the train's speed drop significantly—down to a crawl so slow that the broom's idling speed threatened to overtake it.
Kane had to continuously apply the "brakes" to keep from overshooting the scarlet engine.
Suddenly, a window in one of the carriages slid open. Hermione leaned out, waving frantically at the three on the broom. "I got the train to slow down! Get in here, quickly!"
Kane looked back at Harry and Ron. "Want to go in?"
This ti, Harry and Ron didn't even need to look at each other. "You know us. we've never been fond of sitting in slow, stuffy little trains."
Kane understood. He maneuvered the broom closer to the open window where Hermione was waiting.
"Co on!" Hermione shouted, reaching out.
"You co up here! We'll take you to school early!" Ron yelled back.
"Are you insane? Riding a broom to Hogwarts? Professor McGonagall will give us detention until we graduate!" Hermione stared at them in disbelief.
"This is a one-ti offer! We only took the broom because the platform barrier was sealed! You miss this 'bus' and you won't get another chance for years!" Harry shouted over the wind.
Just then, the train driver's voice bood from the front: "You three on the broom! Get in already! If I hold these brakes any longer, the pads are going to catch fire!"
"Tell about it," Kane muttered, leaning the broom even closer to the train.
"Oh heavens, I've officially lost my mind." Hermione, acting on so inexplicable impulse, reached out and grabbed Harry and Ron's hands. They hauled her out of the window as Kane dipped the broom's level, letting her tumble onto the seat behind them.
"How long until we get to school? At this rate... midnight?" Sitting at the very back, Hermione realized she was now an accomplice on this "pirate ship" and asked with a resigned sigh.
"Probably two hours? If I really push it, maybe one."
Kane let go of the brakes entirely. The violent power of the 12Y broom engine, combined with the 25% speed boost from his Lazy Man's Wand, completely took over his brain.
"Hermione, I think you should hold onto Ron. Like Ron is holding Harry, and Harry is holding ," Kane said suddenly.
"Wait, what? A 'little train' formation?" Hermione didn't know why, but she instinctively wrapped her arms around Ron.
"Is this really necessary? My dad drives faster than this when we go for groceries," Hermione complained, frowning at their current speed.
"Children, the brake pads are already overheated—wait, why did another one leave?" The train driver had just stepped out of the cab to see if the boys had boarded, only to find the train's passenger count had decreased by one more.
He stuck his head out the window, looking at them in confusion. He pulled out his wand, intending to use a Summoning Charm to pull them safely back toward the train.
Kane quickly flicked his wrist, using a layer of Shadow Armor to deflect the charm. "It's alright, Mr. Driver! Thanks for the assist, but I have to say—my 'brake pads' are overheating too!"
Kane released the throttle. In an instant, the Hogwarts Express looked like a mini-car on a highway watching a supercar with an engine bigger than the car itself vanish. Its taillights disappeared before the driver could even blink.
"rlin's beard... which young lord stole a custom broom from ho? Is this even legal under Ministry law?" The driver took one look at the black streak of light and imdiately ford a theory about Kane's "noble" background.
He decided to go back to driving. If he ran his mouth too much and offended so young aristocrat, he might lose his job.
He couldn't exactly go back to managing those six rental shops in Diagon Alley; that wasn't the life he wanted.
On the broom, Hermione was squeezing Ron like an Ultraman wrestling a kaiju.
"I say, Hermione! Can't... breathe! Let go!" Ron gasped, his eyes bulging.
"No! Hold onto Harry! I'm afraid we'll be tossed off!" Hermione gritted her teeth, her grip tightening in a way that suggested she was fully committed to the accidental assassination of Ronald Weasley.
"Kane, maybe speed up a bit? Otherwise, Ron's going to suffocate before we hit the Forbidden Forest," Harry noted, looking back at Ron's miserable state.
"What? This isn't the top speed?" Hermione shrieked, poking her head forward in shock.
"If this were a car, the RPM wouldn't even be at two thousand yet." Kane slamd the "magic pedal" down. The broom vibrated violently once, and then Hermione knew no more.
Ron lost consciousness too—though while Hermione passed out from the G-force, Ron likely went under from a lack of oxygen.
Of the four, only Kane (the ace pilot) and Harry (the Seeker) remained conscious.
"Er... I think those two are out cold. We might need to head straight to the hospital wing," Harry shouted.
"Fine. I think I can twist the throttle just a little further."
"Wait, what? There's more?!"
The answer Harry received wasn't a voice, but a sudden burst of stars in his vision.
anwhile, at Hogwarts...
"I understand, Severus, I truly do. But we both know the Defense Against the Dark Arts position is a poisoned chalice.
Placing your life in that office is essentially making you a front-row observer of the Killing Curse," Dumbledore explained to Snape, who sat across from him looking utterly sour.
"Honestly, I seriously doubt the survival skills of any student who leaves this castle," Snape sneered.
"Oh, it's not so bad. Even without a permanent professor, the students have adapted. They've been self-studying to compete with each other.
I don't think the current Gryffindor and Slytherin seniors would lose to Tom's generation," Dumbledore said mildly.
"So your solution was to hire... a brainless, morally bankrupt, incompetent novelist? You think he can teach? Hmph."
"Think of it this way: since he's morally bankrupt, we're doing the wizarding world a favor by keeping him busy." Dumbledore had just finished speaking when he saw a streak of pitch-black light hurtling toward the castle.
Snape saw it too. If he didn't know better, he'd think the Dark Lord had resurrected and decided to go for a solo kill on Dumbledore.
Before his brain could finish processing, the black streak lunged toward the office window and pulled a violent tail-whip maneuver.
Fortunately, Dumbledore had foresight. He threw the window open and used Transfiguration to conjure a massive air mattress. Instead of being "spread" across the office floor like jam, the four students slamd into the magical cushion.
"Did you give them this broom? Y12 Phoenix-feather propulsion. Heh. Dumbledore, do you have a personal vendetta against these children?" Snape sneered, glancing at the broom's tail feathers sticking out of the air mattress.
"Oh... don't look at . Why don't you ask the parties involved?" Dumbledore shrugged.
Kane stood up from the cushion, using magic to levitate the unconscious trio. He shook them slightly. Flop, flop.
"They might be dead. I'll go dig a hole in the Forbidden Forest later," Kane muttered, letting the floating bodies drift behind him. He looked apologetically at Dumbledore and Snape. "Do I need to explain sothing?"
"Perhaps why you chose a mode of transport you couldn't stop," Dumbledore asked with a twinkle in his eye.
"If I were alone, I could stop. But it's like a semi-truck slamming on the brakes; the driver is the first to die. If I'd stopped suddenly, their montum would have crushed my spine," Kane explained.
"A reasonable theory. But why not choose the safe, comfortable train?"
"Believe , if you don't answer that clearly, Severus might apply to have all four of you expelled."
Hermione: "???"
Hermione, the first to pass out, was also the first to wake up at the word "expelled." She bolted upright so suddenly she nearly sent Kane flying.
Dumbledore smiled. "Miss Granger, we haven't actually decided to expel you."
"Maybe you haven't," Snape spat before sweeping out of the office.
Dumbledore turned to Kane and Hermione. "Now that the crisis is over, I think we can discuss why you chose such a... breathtaking way to return to school."
Hermione looked at Kane, her eyes pleading for him to spin a convincing web of lies. Just as Kane was about to weave a complex tale about the sealed barrier, a strange sound drifted from the hallway.
"Oh! Severus! I know you!" "What? I can't call you that?" "Fine, Professor Snape. Honestly, we're colleagues now—" "Ow! Ow ow ow!" "OK, OK! Anyway, good morning and good afternoon, Professor Snape!"
The three conscious people in the office listened with weird expressions. They knew exactly who was outside.
Knock, knock, knock.
"Professor Dumbledore? May I co in?"
Dumbledore winked at Kane and Hermione before raising his voice. "Of course, Professor Lockhart."
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