....
The second actress was a disaster for a different reason.
Halfway through her scene, a crash ca from the hallway.
Shouting - The door burst open.
A man in a pizza delivery uniform stood there, breathless. "Is there a Monica Geller here?"
Everyone stared.
"That’s the character na." Marta said slowly.
"Oh." He looked around. "Well, soone ordered eight pizzas to this address under that na and didn’t pay."
The actress currently auditioning went pale. "I can explain—"
"You ordered eight pizzas?" David said.
"I was nervous! I eat when I am nervous!"
"Where are the pizzas?" Sammy asked, bewildered.
"In my car."
They didn’t cast her.
But they did pay for the pizzas.
Sammy ate three slices while stress-reviewing budget spreadsheets.
Tanya Mills ca in like a hurricane, fast-talking, neurotic energy, hands moving constantly.
She made Monica competitive, controlling, but sohow still likable.
When she delivered the line about wanting to be ’the mom who makes the best snacks’, she sold it with this manic intensity that was both funny and a little sad.
"Thank you, Tanya." Marta said.
"Was I too much? I feel like I was too much. I am always too much."
"You were perfect." David said.
Tanya blinked. "Really?"
"Really."
After she left, Sammy exhaled. "Two down, four to go. I am gonna need more coffee."
....
THE PHOEBE AUDITIONS
This was where things got weird.
The first actress brought a guitar.
Not unusual - Phoebe plays guitar.
But then she started playing an original song, about the audition.
While making intense eye contact with Marta.
"Casting directors, looking for a star... wondering if I will fit, wondering who we are..."
"Thank you." David interrupted. "That’s–"
"They’re interrupting eee, but I will keep singing free–"
"We’re good." Marta said firmly.
The actress kept singing all the way out the door.
....
The second actress seed normal until she ntioned she was a thod actor.
"I have been living as Phoebe for three weeks." she said.
"What does that an?" Sammy asked.
"I am currently holess."
Pause.
"You’re... what?" Marta said.
"Phoebe lived on the streets, so I am too. For authenticity."
"Where are you sleeping?"
"A park in Burbank."
David closed his eyes. "Please get a hotel."
"That wouldn’t be true to the character."
They didn’t cast her.
Marta made a note to have soone check if she actually went to a hotel.
....
Lily Zhang walked in eating an apple.
She didn’t apologize, didn’t explain, just started her scene mid-chew. And sohow it worked.
She made Phoebe weird without trying too hard - spacey, sweet, with this underlying toughness that suggested she’d been through so shit.
When she finished, she took another bite of the apple. "Sorry. I skipped breakfast."
"Don’t apologize." David said. "You’re hired."
Lily paused mid-chew. "Wait, really?"
"Really."
"Cool." She smiled. "Can I finish this apple?"
"Yes." Marta laughed. "Finish the apple."
Sammy crossed another na off the list.
....
THE CHANDLER AUDITIONS
"Could I be wearing any more cologne?" the first actor said.
Everyone coughed.
"That’s... a lot of cologne." David managed.
"I wanted to make an impression."
"Mission accomplished." Marta said, eyes watering. "We’ll call you."
They did not call him.
....
The second actor was actually funny.
Good timing, solid delivery. Then, during his scene, his mom called.
"Sorry." he said, silencing it.
Thirty seconds later, she called again.
"I am so sorry." he muttered, declining it.
She called a third ti.
He answered. "MOM. I’M IN AN AUDITION."
Pause.
"No, I don’t know what we’re having for dinner—MOM."
Longer pause.
"I will pick up milk on the way ho. I HAVE TO GO."
He hung up, looked at them. "Sorry."
"How old are you?" David asked.
"Twenty-eight."
"And you live with your mom?"
"Rent in LA is insane."
Fair point, but still didn’t get cast.
....
Marcus Reid walked in and imdiately tripped over a chair.
"Shit - sorry. I am good. I am totally good."
He wasn’t good.
He was flustered, red-faced, and his headshot fell out of his folder onto the floor.
But when he started reading, he nailed it.
Chandler’s sarcasm, his deflection, the way humor was both a weapon and a shield.
Marcus made every joke land while suggesting sothing fragile underneath.
"That was great." Marta said.
Marcus exhaled. "Thank God. I thought I blew it with the chair thing."
"The chair thing was very Chandler." David said.
"So... did I get it?"
Marta and David exchanged a look.
"Yeah." Marta said. "You got it."
Marcus broke into a grin. "Holy shit. Okay. Cool. I am gonna - I am gonna go call my mom."
"The one from earlier?" Sammy joked.
"Different mom." Marcus said. "Mine’s cooler."
....
The Ross Audition.
The first actor was too handso.
"He looks like he’s never been insecure a day in his life." David whispered.
"Ross is a paleontologist." Marta whispered back. "He should look like he’s been insecure every day of his life."
They passed.
....
The second actor brought dinosaur facts.
"Did you know the Velociraptor was actually the size of a turkey?" he said before his scene.
"We did not." Marta said.
"Also, they probably had feathers."
"Fascinating."
"And the T-Rex couldn’t actually roar like in Jurassic Park because—"
"We’re gonna start the scene now." David interrupted.
The actor was fine.
But he wouldn’t stop talking about dinosaurs.
Even after they said thank you and as he walked out.
"Stegosaurus ans ’roofed lizard!’" echoed from the hallway.
....
Owen Garrett ca in nervous - bouncing on his heels, talking too fast, running his hand through his hair.
He made Ross anxious and pedantic and sohow endearing.
When he delivered the ’we were on a break’ line during a cold read, the whole room laughed.
"That was perfect." Marta said.
"Really? Because I feel like I rushed the—"
"It was perfect." David repeated.
Owen nodded. "Okay, cool. Thanks. Sorry. I am rambling. That’s - I will stop."
"Don’t stop." Marta said. "That’s exactly what we need."
....
Joey Audition.
This was the hard one.
"We need soone who’s dumb but not dumb," Marta said. "Charming but not sleazy."
"Sexy but non-threatening." David added.
"Is that possible?" Sammy asked.
They were starting to think it wasn’t.
One actor was too smart. Another was too creepy.
A third couldn’t deliver a joke to save his life.
One guy showed up in character and refused to break, calling everyone ’bro’ and asking if there was food.
Then Nico Delgado walked in.
He had this easy, goofy charm - big smile, expressive face, zero self-consciousness. When he read Joey’s lines, he made every stupid thing sound sincere. "How you doin’?" wasn’t a pickup line; it was a genuine question.
Marta said when he finished. "I think... That’s Joey."
Nico blinked. "Wait, seriously?"
"Seriously."
"Oh, thank God." Nico sagged with relief. "I have been eating nothing but ran for three months."
"You’re about to afford much better ran." David said.
Nico left grinning.
....
Later, in the sa room.
The table was covered in headshots, coffee cups, and pizza crusts.
"We did it." Marta said.
"We did it." David echoed.
Sammy stared at the final list.
Emma. Tanya. Lily. Marcus. Owen. Nico.
"Regal’s gonna kill if this doesn’t work." he muttered.
"It will work." Marta said.
"How do you know?"
She smiled. "Because they are perfect."
David raised his coffee cup. "To six people drinking coffee."
They clinked cups.
Outside, in the waiting room, six actors who didn’t know each other yet sat with their phones, texting friends and family.
None of them knew they were about to beco the most famous ensemble in television history.
But they had found out soon enough.
....
Soon, the list reached Regal’s table.
As he went through it, he noticed that almost none of the selected nas matched the actors he rembered.
Honestly, it worried him a little - but he couldn’t let that show.
He knew for a fact that trying to cast only the actors he personally knew would be impossible, or worse, a waste of ti. So he had to go with this and hope that this Friends turned out the way it was ant to.
Just then, his phone rang.
It was Christopher Bennett, CEO of Iconique Talent Agency (ITA).
["Been a while."] Christopher said.
"Yeah, yesterday." Regal replied.
["Well, I ant a proper voice call, not text ssages."]
"Huh... even then, it wasn’t that long ago. Maybe a week, max."
["Can’t you just go with the flow?"]
"I would, but if I rember correctly, the last ti you called was to get my help landing Ryan Reynolds for your agency."
["Yeah, but it’s not like you actually helped ."]
"I gave you permission to talk to him. It was your job to make him a tempting offer."
["Like I didn’t? I offered him the best contract a B-list actor could get."]
"You are getting dull at your ga. Ryan’s betting he won’t be a B-lister after the movie releases. Anyway, it’s your job to figure that out. And don’t tell you called just to brag that out of six main cast mbers of Friends - three of the actresses who got the roles are from your agency."
["Yep. That’s exactly why."]
"Grow up. You are forty and still unmarried."
["That is unprofessional."]
They both laughed.
"So, when are you getting married - to your assistant Anne?"
["I proposed sh—"] Christopher stopped midway, realizing what he had almost revealed.
Then he shouted. ["Damn it, Stephen, you idiot!"]
He was clearly talking about Junior Stephen.
The call ended soon after.
"Why is everyone obsessed with assistants..." Regal muttered, turning to Simon.
Then he added. "Well, it’s better than soone else going after your assistant, I guess."
That nearly made Simon spit out his coffee.
"Why would you even bring that up?"
"Because I am fucking tired of your long ga." Regal shot back. "Why aren’t you proposing to her, man?"
"Soon... soon..."
Just then, there was a knock on the door.
It was Samantha.
She briefly ntioned the end-of-year plans, the small party Regal was hosting on the 31st, just for his close circle. After that, she excused herself and left.
Simon paused. "Uh... your rooms are soundproof, right?"
"Yeah, definitely. A hundred per—" he nodded.
"What soundproofing are you guys talking about?" a voice interrupted as a head popped in through the doorway. It was Darren.
Regal looked at Simon. Then Simon looked at Darren.
Simon’s face went a little pale.
Regal was the first to laugh. "Haha!!"
Darren didn’t understand what was happening, but it was obvious sothing had happened.
.
....
[To be continued...]
★─────⇌•★•⇋─────★
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