"....."
Clara sat in silence, her face shifting through fleeting shades of color until her composure finally broke. Her features tightened, and she fixed Seth with a sharp glare.
"What nonsense are you talking about? This is obviously not about failure."
"Is it not...?"
"It’s not."
Clara denied it completely.
"I’ve failed many tis before. This is definitely not it."
"Is that so?"
"What do you an, is that so?"
Clara’s brows knitted further.
"I’m telling you, that’s not it. And if I’m the one saying it, then it definitely isn’t."
"Okay."
Seth nodded while jotting sothing down on his notepad. Clara’s expression further crumbled.
At the sa ti, he took sothing out of his pocket.
It looked like so sort of squishy red ball.
What sort of...
"Are you even listening to ?"
"...Yes?"
Seth paused and looked at her.
"I’m listening to you."
"No, you’re not."
"And what makes you think that?"
"Then why are you holding on to the ball?"
"This?"
Seth held out the ball for her to see. Clara’s eyes lingered on it, but before she could react, he flicked it aside. She tried to follow its arc, only to watch it vanish into thin air. At the sa ti, she felt sothing pierce her mind.
It was extrely subtle, and had she been in her most optimal condition, she would’ve noticed it.
But she was far from that now. Her thoughts dragged sluggishly, and even the act of thinking straight felt like a struggle.
"Wha—"
"What ball? I don’t see any ball."
"...."
Clara’s jaw clenched so tightly that it started to make weird grinding sounds. Seth’s face remained indifferent to it all as he licked the top of his teeth and started jotting down several more things on his notepad.
The sight made Clara nearly jump him.
’Take a deep breath. Deep breath. Relax.’
Although she said all of this, it wasn’t working. The more she looked at him, the angrier she got. Just when she found herself unable to hold back and prepared to leave, Seth opened his mouth.
"Let’s say that I’m wrong. What do you think the main cause of your nightmares is? Is it the Conductor? Its appearance? Its presence...?"
"Wha... Yes, that’s..."
Taken aback, Clara didn’t know how to answer properly.
But she soon recollected herself.
"Yes, it’s... because of that. Every ti I close my eyes, I imagine the Conductor."
"Hmm."
Seth nodded seriously. For a mont, Clara’s brows relaxed at the sight, but just when she thought he had finally understood her, he tapped his pen on the paper.
"Yes, you’re scared of failure."
As the words echoed again, sothing inside Clara snapped. She wasn’t sure when it happened, but suddenly she was on her feet, her face flushed red as a crushing pressure erupted from her body.
BANG!
The chair nearly shattered at her action.
At the sa ti, she advanced on Seth, who stayed seated, his face utterly blank, as if unfazed by everything happening around him.
"Listen up, fucker!"
Clara’s voice rose, spitting each word venomously as she grabbed him by the collar and brought her face closer to his.
"Are you stubborn? Or are you here to make fun of ? I’ve already been having the worst week of my entire life, and I can’t tolerate things as I used to. I’m just a few seconds away from snapping, and trust ..." She paused, her voice growing lower and her eyes growing even more threatening. "That last thing that you want to see is snapping. That’s—"
Snap!
A sudden snap echoed, and Clara felt her vision starting to wobble. Sothing seed to pierce her mind in that mont, but given her weak state of mind, she found herself unable to fight it off.
"Ukh...!"
In the end, her grip on Seth’s collar loosened, fingers slipping away as she stumbled back a few steps, clutching her head.
A constant ringing sound echoed in her mind, drowning all other noise away.
"W-what’s... W-what is..."
Flick!
Sothing flickered in her vision not long after.
She could hardly make out what it was. But it looked like a phone. In it... she saw sothing red and white.
Clara had a hard ti making out what it was, but the mont she caught sight of it, sothing in her mind clicked.
The ringing faded, and Seth’s voice echoed in her mind once more.
"You’re afraid of failure."
"Wha..."
Her vision returned to normal as well.
Standing before Seth, she saw him stare at her without much of an expression. With his legs crossed, he began speaking.
"Your record is impeccable. From the mont you joined the Guild until now, you’ve cleared nearly every gate with outstanding success, never once failing. You’ve earned the title of the Guild’s star, carrying a weighty responsibility on your shoulders."
His voice was smooth and soft to the ears.
Sothing about the voice made her pause. But it wasn’t for long. Her lips soon parted as she tried to argue.
But—
"...."
Huh?
She stood in silence, unable to find her words. It was as if her mind had suddenly stopped working properly.
Seth took the mont to continue.
"This is why, the mont you faced a situation where nothing seed to work, you began to falter. The weight of the situation pressed down on you, and you likely saw that gate as your first failure, even though the world thinks otherwise. You started to realize just how painful failure is, and you finally felt it..."
No, stop.
Seth paused, his gaze falling onto her.
"The weight of the responsibility on your shoulders."
The room turned completely silent following his words. Clara’s chest rose and fell repeatedly, her face bleaching completely.
But as if that wasn’t enough, she soon heard it.
Ba... Thump! Ba... Thump!
The loud sound of her rapidly beating heart.
Even worse—
Ziiii!
".....!?"
Alongside the beat of her heart, she heard sothing else. Sothing akin to the sound of a violin, and one that made the very hair on her body stand on end. And yet, as if her body was completely glued on the spot, she found herself unable to move her head at all.
Her eyes shook as she looked at Seth.
However, his gaze remained calm as he looked at her.
"It is okay to fail."
Seth’s voice quietly echoed in the air.
Ziii!
The sound of the violin grew more pronounced. Clara’s mind grew more sluggish, and finally, for the first ti, she found herself truly paying attention to Seth as he took a mont to sort out his thoughts before speaking.
"Sothing shifts when you stop trying to prove yourself."
He looked right at her, pointing the pen at her.
"Your worth isn’t asured by your achievents. Your worth isn’t asured by how others perceive you. The only person who can determine your worth is yourself. Just like how the only person who can criticize you is yourself."
Seth paused, his hand tapping onto the paper before him.
Clara’s lips opened and closed multiple tis, her mind trying her best to argue with his words.
But she couldn’t.
Unknowingly, her lips started to tremble.
His words...
They were strangely convincing.
No, that doesn’t make—
"A person’s insult only affects you when you allow it to affect you."
Seth didn’t care for her thoughts. He continued slowly, his voice quietly drifting in the office space, making its way into her sluggish mind.
"If you don’t allow it to affect you, it’ll never affect you. That’s why your worth is determined by yourself. Because everything that happens to you is based on your actions and thoughts."
"...."
Soon, the only thing Clara could hear was the sound of his voice.
The soft strains of the violin lingered behind his gentle words, and she swallowed quietly. She sensed sothing stir within her mind.
"The mont you stop letting other people, other than yourself, determine your worth, it’ll be the mont you’ll forget about all of this."
Seth paused, blinking slowly as the room fell silent.
"Everything starts from you."
Clara looked at him, swallowing quietly.
It does?
He nodded.
"You’re your only enemy."
I am?
"You’re afraid of failure. Not the Conductor."
"...."
Clara opened her mouth, but soon closed it.
In the end, lowering her head, she nodded softly.
""I... s-see."
"Yes."
A smile ford on Seth’s lips as he looked at her. Then, shifting his gaze towards the figure that stood behind her, he scratched the side of his face and secretly gave it a thumbs up.
"Now, feel free to tell what has been bothering you lately. I’m all ears."
No, not really.
Get out.
I’m not a therapist.
***
Author Note : The salary Seth offered is 10,000 a month, not 10,000 a year. It was a very clear typo. I’ve fixed it. Stop hounding !
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