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Now reading: 1.7: Is it wrong to pick up girls in Hell? from How I became the Empress of Hell, a Action novel by Roseofblades.

After the battle my team circled around , showering with praises.

“Allexus, you were… that was… holy shit! I an… seriously, holy shit!”

“That move where you simulcasted your summon spells while you were flying was fucking aweso!”

“Hey, Allexus. Question. What are we gonna do with Tweedledee and Tweedledum? I an… how did you make them change colors like that?”

I showed them my full character skill screen and zood in on [Corrupting Touch].

“I didn’t know it could do that entirely… but… I figured it was worth a try. They really are my minions now. A new Minion nu just popped up complete with their… dreadful stats. Other than a high dexterity stat for firing the crossbow and several skill levels in [Crossbow Proficiency], they are pretty worthless… if not sowhat adorable.”

The two small demons we were discussing were currently fighting over which of them loved more. When they began to throw stones at each other, Elia grabbed one, and I grabbed the other. The one in Elia’s grasp blushed when he looked at her and she rolled her eyes. Like Judas when we first t, they had no nas.

“I’m going to call you Pain. And your brother that Elia is holding will be called Panic.”

“If he’s my brother… Does that make you my mom?”

I laughed and released him.

“It sorta does… but let’s go with Mistress… mmkay?”

“Yes Mistress. Thank you for saving from my last boss. You’re so much nicer than he was. And prettier too. Thank you for giving a na, Mistress.”

“Yeah, Thank you!”

I nodded to them and pointed the ground in front of .

“Pain! Panic! To , now!”

“Ooop! Yes, mistress!”

They ran over and stood up straight.

“If you are going to be my minions and part of our clan, you will have to work hard! Harder than you’ve ever worked. It may not be fun, but I will never be cruel to you. Does that sound like sothing you guys can handle?”

They both nodded enthusiastically and shouted yes! in unison.

“Good, now go retrieve all the weapons and useful gear that we can use and bring it to Bray. He’s the tall warrior with the really big axe over there.”

They snickered and looked over at him.

“His ass looks normal sized for his body, Mistress.”

I glared at them, and they scampered off. Elia chuckled as she walked over and shook her head.

“God, they're like children. With crossbows. But… you’re right. They are kinda cute. I’m diggin’ the Disney reference there, by the way. I guess we have a pair of clan mascots now.”

“Heh. More like team pets… but I’m sure- ugh.”

I suddenly felt light headed and I collapsed to my knees.

“Allexus, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?! Jade! Get over here!”

“I… uh…”

I lifted my arm and saw the source of my pain. A crossbow bolt had penetrated my armor and pierced my side. It hadn’t penetrated too deeply though, so I wondered if there was more to it than that.

“Pain! Co here!”

He sprinted over to and looked up at with a worried expression.

“What’s wrong, Mistress? Did one of the poisoned arrows hit your skin?”

I sighed and nodded.

“Is there an antidote, Pain?”

He shook his head and looked down at his feet. Elia helped lay back against the stone and I snapped my fingers weakly. My armor and chainmail disappeared, leaving completely nude in front of my group. I was too weak to care, and I turned onto my side and lifted my arm. Jade knelt down and started casting a spell. The bolt pulled itself out of my skin and the wound closed. It was still a mottled brown color, but at least the pain in my side was gone and I could breathe normally. I sat up and looked over at Elia. As she looked up and down my nude body for any further damage, she blushed when she ca to my groin area.

“You failed to ntion he left you with so… erm… extra body parts.”

I laughed and looked up at Jade who was still inspecting the wound.

“It looks like the poison isn’t spreading. You may be a bit weak for a bit, but I think your lack of humanity has saved you from the worst of it. Your demonic body is resisting the poison. If that bolt had hit one of us, we’d already be dead. Just… another thing to add to the list of gifts your master gave you. OK, I wasn’t going to say anything, but my curiosity is getting the better of . Is that thing between your legs functional? I an… you don’t even have any testes. Dear god, never mind… he made you into so sort of demon futanari. I swear if he was a player he’d be one of those creepy hentai obsessed guys who pretend to be 13-year-old girls and still live in their mother’s basent in their 40’s. That’s one of the reason all of us chose to make characters that pretty much look like we do in real life.”

“Well… I technically did do that… but when my master changed my body he turned into this walking sex dream.”

Jade grinned at as her eyes gave my body a less than professional once-over and blushed slightly when we made eye contact. After she cleared her throat she stood up and helped to my feet.

“Well… the poison should clear out of your system in a minute or so… but I would check your active status screen just to make sure.”

“My active what now?”

“Active… status screen? It shows the list of all current hexes, enchantnts, and other effects currently on you?”

“Yes. That is a thing I knew I had. Obviously.”

Jade rolled her eyes and gave an incredulous look, but didn’t comnt otherwise. While I was checking the various drop-down nus I had failed to notice until now, I found one that said Active Statuses.

As Jade walked over to the Scythe, I looked at the list on the screen and my eyes went wide. I had a plethora of enchantnts cast on from my demon master. [Master/Servant Bond], [Servant Binding], [Forced Submission], [Chains of Command], and my least favorite, [Sexual Subservience]. Each of the levels of the enchantnts were displayed as Tier 5. I equipped my gear and stood up slowly. I was going to go ask Elia about the enchantnts, but she was currently sitting on Bray’s lap laughing at sothing he had said. I felt a stab of jealousy, but I ignored it and walked over to Jade.

“Hey Jade, do you know anything about enchantnts?”

She nodded.

“Yeah, why?”

I showed her my list of enchantnts and she kept glancing at , then back at the list; each ti looking a bit more grim.

“Shit… I’m sorry. That’s so powerful magic. Demonspawn can only cast tier 3 enchantnts and even then, it takes hours of preparation and a lot of MP. Tier 5 is so powerful shit. You could ask the enchantress about ‘em though, when we get back to town. She’d have a better answer than I would.”

I nodded and despite my better judgnt, asked the question that was racing through my mind.

“Are Bray and Elia a couple?”

“Wait… what?”

She glanced over at the pair and burst out laughing. I gave her a look of pure confusion and she smiled at .

“They’re both gay. Bray is basically her big brother and they’ve been best friends since high school. The only person he’s closer to than Em is his boyfriend Spe- uhhhh Scythe.”

“It’s OK Jade, I don’t care if she knows my real na. It’s Spencer. Bray and Jade used their real nas, and Elia is actually Emily. Aeryn is… well… Aaron, just spelled the normal way with two A’s. We all went to the sa high school together, and now we’re all in the sa college in boring Boulder, Colorado.”

My eyes went wide and my mouth opened in shock. What were the odds?

“No shit?! I’m from Aspen!”

Their eyes went wide and huge smiles spread across their faces.

“Whoa! What are the fucking odds of that happening? Of all the people online playing this ga, we happened to co across the highest-level character in the ga, who just happens to live a few hours away from us in real life. Ho-ly shit!”

“I know, right?! That’s aweso! We’ll have to et up here one day. My real na is Allison, but everyone calls Allie. That’s why I nad my original character Allessa… And probably why my master nad Allexus.”

She called the others over and filled them in on everything; our discovery about our real-life distance from each other, and the eerie way the NPC’s had way more control than anyone thought. We walked back to the Hell Gate, and then back into town.

We sold the crossbows and other gear for 600 gold pieces, and the group wanted to split it evenly. I told them to keep my portion and put it in the clan bank, as I knew my master would take anything I had as his own anyhow. We made our way over to the enchantress, and I showed her my list of enchantnts. She furrowed her brows and shook her head.

“I’m sorry, dear, I can only remove two of them at most… and… it’ll cost you.”

I let out a heavy sigh.

“How much?”

She smiled and her crooked teeth looked almost like fangs in the candlelight.

“500 gold, and that circlet on your head.”

“400 gold, I keep the circlet, and you keep your eyes.

“500 gold, and…”

As she paused, I interrupted her. I was desperate for these enchantnts to be removed, but I was not going to be swindled by this hag.

“And I let you live without using my [Corrupting Touch] on you.”

“Bah! Fine! Pick the two you want removed. After you pay the gold.”

I was about to plead with my group to borrow the gold, but they already had the large bag full of it ready for .

“The XP was worth it enough. We don’t need the gold, Allie.”

I nodded and mouthed Thank you to them and handed the sack of coin to the old woman. She eyed it for a second and smiled. After reading the enchantnts descriptions, I knew which two I would remove without hesitation.

“[Chains of Command] and [Forced Submission].”

She waved her hands, and I felt a tugging sensation on my body. When it was finished, I checked my stat screen, and nodded to her.

“Can those enchantnts be recast on ?”

She shook her head.

“No, not unless you knowingly allow them to be. Now… leave be… I’m going to have to rest for a week after that one…”

After thanking her, we walked out of her musty shop.

“Allie, why did you choose those two?”

“[Chains of Command] was what allowed him to control my summons and after the shit he put through with that, it had to go. [Forced Submission] was making always be submissive to him and not fight back against him in any way.”

Nods of understanding circled around the group, and we made our way to the bounty board. Now that I was already in a party and a clan, far fewer people crowded around . We turned in the bounty, and each of us was awarded a large amount of experience. I estimated it would get up to level 28. The others were in awe of just how much experience they had each gained, and they chatted about it the entire walk to the tavern.

After we had a virtual dinner together, we all started to say our goodbyes as it was getting dark outside. Emily pulled aside from the group and motioned for to follow her. We walked to a small grove of trees, and she moved very close to . She reached up and pulled my face to hers and into a passionate kiss. I held her in my arms for a mont, and my entire body felt electric. After a bit, she pulled away, and blushed at .

“I’m- I’m sorry. I’ve just wanted to do that since you kissed earlier in the dungeon. I uh- I hope that wasn’t too sudden or-“

I cut her off and pulled her into a tight embrace and a deep, lasting kiss. I felt her relax in my arms and push her body into . If we weren’t in public, I’d probably have tried to make a move on her, but given that I actually really liked her, I’m glad I didn’t.

“Allie, that was… wow. I liked it. A lot. Thank you. Thank you for interrupting with that. What I was going to eventually say is that I’d love it if you’d join us up here the next ti you have so free ti. I’d definitely give you gas money.”

I shook my head and she looked montarily upset.

“No, I didn’t an I wouldn’t co see you, I ant you wouldn’t have to give gas money. Just hanging with you would be enough.”

She blushed again and smiled up at . I was about to kiss her, when my stupid insecure brain decided to screw it up.

“I uh-I don’t look like this in real life… I’m actually kinda boring. I wish I-“

“Shut up, Allie, and kiss . I don’t care about that! I like you for your personality. It also doesn’t hurt that your face is fucking gorgeous.”

“You’re not so bad yourself. I’d even go so far as to say a perfect 11 out of 10.”

She kissed briefly and turned to the entrance to the grove.

“Do we need to strip and put on a show or are you guys going to co over here?”

Now it was my turn to blush as the rest of our clan walked out from behind a large bush. I had been so focused on Emily that I hadn’t noticed them. Good thing this wasn’t a combat situation. They walked up and stared at the pair of us without saying anything.

“We’re just wondering if you actually plan to co hang out with all of us. I an… I’m cool with you boning my sister, but… we need our badass Demon Paladin Commander to lead us into battle.”

“Ugh. Aaron! Seriously?!”

She ran over and punched him in the arm.

“Hey, you’re just mad because you know it’s completely true.”

Emily turned back to and mouthed Sorry! and blew a kiss before the group rounded the bend.

I smiled and was about to run after them, when the ground started spinning. I closed my eyes while the transportation took effect, and when I opened them, I was again standing before my master, who was again sitting nude on his throne with an impatient look on his face.

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