Within the indescribable darkness, the first vestige of mory flickered to life.
A sharp pain in his left chest and the crushing sensation, like a hamr striking the sa spot, ca to mind before the vision faded again into darkness.
"Wake up, William Carter."
At the sound of a powerful and majestic voice calling his na, William opened his eyes.
Before him was the scene of a vast hall, its architecture reminiscent of what one would find in a Xianxia manhua. The grand chamber was built from dark wood, and eerie green-blue flas floated around the pillars like lanterns.
The chilled air, the endless darkness, and the red glow on the horizon told him one thing.... he was definitely not on Earth. Coupled with that piece of mory in his mind, only one thought surfaced.
"Am I dead?" William muttered, his gaze drifting forward, where it caught sight of a towering figure.
The figure was clad in a black robe, the kind one might see in an ancient Chinese drama. William was stunned, not only by the figure’s imnse size but also by the dark and oppressive aura it emanated.
Its face was a pale skeleton, with a deep green light glowing within the darkness of its eye sockets. The sharp contours of its bones and the faint trace of fangs on its teeth made the sight even more terrifying.
The figure sat on a dark throne made of so kind of jade... or perhaps obsidian, adorned with gold. In front of it stood a massive desk, the size of a house, with several piles of docunts stacked like mountains upon its surface.
William, a simple Arican dude, trembled at the vision before him. Never had he imagined that one day he would witness such a scene, standing in judgnt before the lord of the underworld.
Make no mistake, William was a Christian. At least, he thought so. Though the number of tis he had actually set foot in a church during his short life could easily be counted on one hand.
"Err... hello?" William raised his hand in the familiar "we co in peace" gesture, mimicking the greeting from the movie Close Encounters of the Third Kind.
What William didn’t know was why the hell he had ended up in this kind of hell. Last ti he checked, he was fairly certain he didn’t have any Asian ancestors.
The figure in dark looked at William. There was nothing William could discern from the figure’s skeletal face, whether it was anger, happiness, or irritation.
"There are many things I want to correct about you, William Carter," the figure spoke.
"But first, let’s start with that." The figure pointed at William’s "We co in peace" gesture. "I’m not so extraterrestrial life form in Spielberg’s movie, so stop it."
William imdiately lowered his hand.
"Good..." The figure nodded. His bony hand picked up the docunts in front of him, while his other hand reached for a pair of glasses resting on the desk and put them on.
"Hmmm..." The lord of death humd softly, looking over the docunt.
"William Carter. Your strear na: Zane Boombox. Age: 32. Died: 23 August 202X. Working as a content creator, you took the path of a nuisance strear after stumbling into accidental fa from toxic streaming. You were quite successful, amassing a net worth of more than 20 million US dollars." The lord of death adjusted his glasses as he read.
"Your girlfriend, Cindy Liu, broke up with you due to the stress caused by constant harassnt from your haters. Your family also suffered collateral damage, receiving death threats and grotesque packages sent to their ho.
After the anti-nuisance movent gained traction, you were about to be banned from your platform. But in a reckless bid for your career, you doubled down on nuisance streaming by blasting a boombox in an angry neighborhood in Texas, where you were shot with a hunting rifle.
The bullet struck your heart, and you died instantly, ending both your life and career."
The lord of death set the docunt down, looking at William through the lens.
"Is there any mistake in what I’ve read?"
William was shaken. That was the sum of his life right there! Now he was sure that he was definitely dead, and this place was so kind of hell.
"Yes, your honor... there’s no mistake."
"Your honor?" The god of death touched his chin, thinking. "I’m not your judge... but... maybe you’re right. You may call your honor."
William nodded and waited for the god of death to continue.
"William Carter. As you can see," the god of death raised his hand, gesturing to the great hall, "this place is not your world... at least, not the version of hell you were supposed to go to."
William was startled. "You an... I’m in another world’s hell? Don’t tell I’ve ended up in so kind of Xianxia version of hell? Hahaha."
He forced a laugh to lighten the mood, but the god of death nodded in confirmation.
"You’re serious?" William muttered.
The god of death pointed his bony hand at his own face.
"Does this face look like soone who’s joking?"
Even if it did, how would I know? There’s not even a shred of flesh on your damn face!
William smiled wryly, keeping the thought to himself. Still, he couldn’t shake the sense that the god of death was amused by his reaction... though maybe it was just his imagination.
The lord of death steepled his bony hands in front of his mouth, letting William feel the weight of his next words.
"I’ll get to the point, William Carter. I want you to help ..." He glanced at the mountain of docunts stacked beside him. "Reduce my workload."
"Your honor... you want to help with your docunts?" William pointed at himself. Just one look at those towering piles of paperwork was painful enough.
The lord of death snickered. "Of course not. Who would let an idiot handle their docunts? I’d have to re-check every single one that passed through that idiot’s hands."
William: ...
"I an... too many people are dying up there. Killings, sect wars, duels, especially those so-called sect and clan annihilations! Hundreds of thousands die every single day, and their souls are all powerful. Those high-ranking cultivators are the worst; they are arrogant bastards who think they’re destined to rule this damn place!"
His explanation turned into a rant mid-way as he gestured toward the horizon of the underworld outside the great hall.
"Can you imagine!? So of them are strong enough to beat up my lieutenants, and I’ve had to beat the shit out of them myself! Even for , that’s too much! I am the ruler of death, not so low-level laborer! If I have to do everything myself, then why the hell did I even hire them?
To drain away my god damn underworld qi!?"
At the end of his rant, the lord of death seed to calm down, as if he had vented all of his frustration.
"Ahem..." The Lord of Death faked a cough to regain his composure. Then he returned to the sa posture, steepling his hands in front of his mouth.
"I’m going to give you an offer you can’t refuse," he began, raising one hand and pointing upward.
Are you so kind of a mob boss? William retorted inside his mind.
"I’ll give you a second chance at life, with a little bonus to enjoy while you’re up there. In return, I want you to reduce the death rate in the mortal realm," the Lord of Death stated plainly.
The offer was very tempting, but... stopping a sect war? Stopping people from dying? As a content creator and a nuisance strear at that, he had no idea how to do that! If he knew, he wouldn’t have beco a nuisance strear in the first place. He would have already won a Nobel Peace Prize!
"But how? How can I do that?" William asked.
The Lord of Death nonchalantly gestured toward him. "How would I know? You are the solution I brought into this world. It’s your job, not mine," he said, as if it were none of his business.
"? A solution?" William frowned. "Why are you so sure that I’m the solution? More importantly, why are you calling , an Arican, to a world tied to Chinese lore and mythology? Shouldn’t you be summoning soone with the surna Yun, Chen, Li, or Lin?"
"First!" The Lord of Death raised his bony index finger. "I’m sure you are the solution because I asked Heaven for a prophecy, and the one with the greatest chance of fixing my problem was you."
"Second!" He raised another finger. "I already invited the people you ntioned, and nine tis out of ten, they made things worse. They tried to unify the world, only for it to fall apart again later. When you subtract the deaths from their so-called unification, the lives saved were not worth the investnt."
"Third!" He raised a third finger. "You’re an avid fan of Wuxia and Xianxia novels. I even know you have an Arican Chinese girlfriend because you wanted a jade beauty of your own. So, I think you should be able to co up with a solution based on your preferences."
William: ....
"So, what will it be, William Carter? Will you accept?" asked the Lord of Death.
"If I don’t accept, what will beco of ?" William asked.
"I’ll send you back to your world, and you’ll be processed according to your underworld system. And I can tell you, living the life of a nuisance strear is not good for you. Although you’re not a mass murderer, a genocide war criminal, a douchbag corrupt politician, or a drug lord, those people are major league and will surely go to eternal hell. But.... you shouldn’t expect anything like heaven either, if you know what I an," the Lord of Death explained.
Hearing this, William gulped down his saliva. He knew he wasn’t one of those major league heavyweights, sure, but he didn’t want to find out what awaited him. He wasn’t a saint, but he wasn’t a bad guy either...
Well... maybe making a career as a nuisance strear did make him a bad guy.
So, if he refused, he might end up facing his due and suffering the final consequences, sothing he desperately wanted to avoid.
"Err... let think for a bit, Your Honor..." William said as he tried to rack his brain for a solution.
After a brief mont, William said, "Alright... I accept."
User Comments
0 comments from readers