Chapter 335
BANG―!
How was the night of the first tiline I rember for the last ti?
“Leo.”
I rember the door, which was definitely locked tight, falling off due to magic. A voice that was so cracked that even pronouncing a three-letter word seed burdenso hovered by my ears. That day was a peaceful day just one day before the strategy test, and it was a day when Lukas, who never visited after saying the last greeting of the day, rarely intruded into my room.
“Leo.”
Lukas stood holding the door and called my na repeatedly just as I had done to him soti in the past. I should have asked what was going on at this hour, but upon seeing his expression, I had no choice but to stiffen as I was. I creaked my head, took out the handkerchief I always carried, and approached him. The mont I saw his eyes, fragnts of what he had gone through flowed into . mories of the next day that cannot exist for , information of an incident that should not happen, fell and embedded themselves from sowhere. Even though I was definitely here, there was a ti I was sitting in front of him bleeding. The only mory that touched more certainly was the last mont he t . The emotions I felt seeing Lukas who ca to find at the end raged through my whole body. That event which already happened in so world will soon beco my future. My head went blank and I couldn't say anything. How much ti passed? Sothing that sounded distantly far away like soone else's voice squeezed out of my mouth.
“Are you okay?”
There was no answer coming back. I waited, but Lukas smacked his lips for a long ti and looked at the empty air. As if the answer was there, no, like a person who left sothing sowhere, his eyes looking at the empty air were persistent even though they held no more hope. He spoke in a low, hoarse voice without eting my eyes until the end.
“I am glad you are alive.”
In his mory, I did not die. However, I would have lost my mind and had to spend the rest of my life as Pleroma, and since I would refuse that and die before long, it was natural for him to consider a dead person in the future. However, for to be the person hearing that it is a relief I am alive, my head went cold at that fact without my realizing. It was absurd. In the mories I read, Lukas was dying. The incomplete scenes conveyed by sensory organs that were already not functioning properly proved it.
“That is what I should say, Lukas.”
“Sorry I couldn't co back together. I am telling you in advance because I am going to go back only with you from now on.”
“…….”
I tried to continue speaking but was beaten to the punch by him. My heart went cold at those words that he would go back only with from now on. Yes, if Lukas does not attempt the best, the ending of my existence is fixed to only one ending, that is, being tortured to death by Pleroma hands. Even if the of that tiline which is already finished cannot be helped, if Lukas did not turn back ti in that situation, the surviving even in another tiline would not exist. Lukas said there is a high possibility that the previous ti stops as it is when he turns back ti. He didn't tell on what basis he says that, but if the previous ti really stops imdiately by Lukas turning back ti, yes, in this case too, naturally turning back ti is the best choice. I also knew that fact. Lukas apologized of his own will, but this was not sothing to bla Lukas for at all, and rather, I owed him my future.
However, apart from that painful fact, it was unreasonable that Lukas had to bear all the burdens. Right now, he was practically insisting that he would retrieve my artifact.
“Why do you decide that alone? You can think about it after preparing sufficiently like we have done so far.”
“I think your answer will always be the sa.”
“…….”
Lukas, who finally observed my expression, smiled faintly and spoke in a whisper with a voice drained of strength.
“I turned it back leaving tight ti to bring your mories this ti. Even if I can't preserve the mories after the kidnapping, I should at least preserve the ti spent with you after entering here for you. After that, since it hasn't been updated yet, I have to go back further while it remains. It's only twenty-two tis.”
I wanted to ask what hasn't been updated and what is only twenty-two tis, but Lukas seed to be in a rush. It seed he even brought up words he didn't intend to say to .
“First, I am going to cancel the exam. It was nice eting you again, and let's talk about the details next ti.”
“Lukas, wait!”
I stood up from my seat to grab his arm, but Lukas warped and escaped that spot. He warped, to where? It felt like I was hit on the head with a hamr because I couldn't believe what I saw.
“…….”
Yes. I could understand. Since it was miraculous enough that he walked here intact even after seeing like that and the dead Senior with his two eyes, I understood that he exercised the maximum consideration he could show in this situation. Since he only had thoughts of saving , himself, and Albert cklenburg in his head right now, it was not unreasonable for him to move to devise a counterasure as soon as possible.
When I opened my eyes the next day, our strategy exam had been cancelled. We, who heard the notice of indefinite postponent, stopped by the official residence again just before mobilization. And we fell into the Middle World.
Lukas turned back ti before experiencing everything. This ti, since it was not during an exam, I was dragged away while wearing the artifact he gave , and the mories of the kidnapping remained even though he turned back ti. I rember the short conversation I shared with him just before starting the eting with friends. Lukas leaned against the outer wall of the eting room, cast sound insulation magic, and spoke while looking at the empty air.
“The mages will go missing today. If blocking the exam was wrong, let's go back to the start.”
“…….”
“First of all, right. Senior Albertina Hohenzollern didn't fall with you, Leo.”
“…Right. Because you and Senior cklenburg interfered with the Middle World magic, we could fall into strange places together. I fell alone in the middle of enemy lines.”
“mories?”
His interest was entirely on my mories. Looking down at those cold eyes that were noticeably dyed with hostility in the span of a day, I turned my head.
“Naturally, I didn't go to the end because you cut it off. I fought against seven Monsignors of Brandenburg, and the information cut off when I heard them requesting support.”
“Amazing. You fought seven Monsignors single-handedly?”
Well, because we prepared everything after your regression. Lukas smiled with his eyes even with a face that couldn't laugh. Even in this situation, he was gentle when treating . Even after that, there was such peace in every interlude. Like a couple of drops of whiskey left inside a flask, that amount of peace was allowed to us. With an imminent bomb in front of us, we had no choice but to run forward knowing we would die and have to start again. No, Lukas did so, and I could only watch. That made helpless the whole ti.
It was a failure. The magic scholar disappearance case exploded again, and there was nothing we could prevent. This ti, we decided to take the exam again. Just before the exam, Lukas reached out his hand to with no expression. It was clear what he was demanding. When I answered with silence, Lukas looked into my eyes and opened his mouth slowly.
“Right, I decided to be with you. But this isn't it.”
“…….”
“I might not have said this if you had died honorably in battle. But this wasn't that. What I saw wasn't sothing like that. Leo, I am not saying you must always be healthy or that I will be with you only when you are like that, but….”
The end of his neat voice trembled minutely. However, those eyes were firr than ever.
“There is no need to undergo unnecessary fatigue.”
“Then you.”
“…….”
“Is driving yourself to the extre until you see death countless tis and your senses don't function not important because you can just turn back ti anyway?”
I know. This is unreasonable. I said such things knowing that. At my cold voice, Lukas smiled faintly and answered.
“You would know best of all that it's not such a simple sound. I have to turn back ti no matter what I do. Soone definitely dies a few days later, and it's a situation where I can't even imagine how uncontrollably chaotic it will beco later if I leave this matter as Pleroma's victory. Whether living in a world without Senior cklenburg or you, surviving barely while everyone is irreversibly sick, dying alone, or turning back ti, I can only choose one of the four, and in a situation with only these kinds of choices, I will always turn back ti no matter what happens.”
“…….”
“Look, Leo. Being able to change the future by turning back ti is the most hopeful option for . But it's not for you. The best choice remaining for is the worst choice for you.”
Lukas's voice now unexpectedly contained laughter. While doing so, he still spoke with a voice that cracked minutely at the end.
“You have the right not to rember.”
“I won't exercise that right. You an to leave you alone in that ti? Until now….”
“Yes. I have to see you looking at the world straight with eyes like today and being alive even on the day after the exam. That is my happiness. If I say this much, can you accept it and move on?”
I did not answer. Lukas, who spoke like a rapid-fire gun while looking straight at , now dropped his gaze downwards and spoke as if talking to himself.
“The end doesn't happen at once.”
“…….”
“It happens over a long ti. Everything becos a stepping stone heading towards the end, starting from trivial fatigue that you didn't even know was a fuse to unforgettable mories. Everything ends after that, similarly at a trivial mont. Because it rained this morning when you were only waiting to see the sun, because you had a trivial argunt, because a plan that was nothing but everything went wrong, because a certain mory suddenly ca to mind….”
I smacked my lips without realizing. I intuitively felt he was telling a different story. Words that were not exactly completed floated around disassembled here and there without connecting to the front. Lukas was not looking at now.
“Even if you think you are okay, you don't know that until you go to the end of the road. The things you go through are not simply montary pain but things that wear down the soul. Why do you have to go through such things?”
“…….”
“If you can avoid rembering, if there is such a chance, I hoped that chance would be given. I don't think you will want what I wanted, but I just hope you don't co to think the sa as . I hope you are even a little less tired.”
I looked at such a Lukas without a word. It seed he was telling a completely different person's story, and also seed to be telling his own story. Lukas stayed blankly as if possessed by sothing, then moved his gaze to with his usual eyes when the notification for 5 minutes before the exam start was heard.
“I won't respect your intent. Hand over the artifact. If you don't give it, I will use Divine Power to knock you out.”
“…That’s funny. You’re saying that on purpose.”
Saying he wouldn't respect it;
it was a remark with zero credibility coming from him, though it might be different if it were another friend. He was a person who respected more than anyone in the Imperial Second Academy. Lukas looked at without a word for a long ti. Only after about a few minutes passed did he barely open his mouth.
“Yes.”
Shall I speak honestly?
At those words, for a mont, I lost the confidence to look at his face. Now he would not hide his sincerity inside the consideration called a joke. I wanted that, and at the sa ti, did not have the courage to face it. Even so, I did not avoid Lukas's eyes as always. For the first ti in my life, I saw his eyes soaked in despair.
“I want you not to rember. Please.”
I was not a person who could go against a friend's will after seeing such eyes. His thod and my thod were different at this mont, but it was clear that he was projecting himself onto and fearing sothing, and also, that he was doing it for my safety.
I was chosen this ti too….
And at the sa ti, I would not be chosen again.
After that, Lukas acted like a crazy person. He moved here and there recklessly without ti to even see faces, and whenever he treated Albert cklenburg, he always stared at him intently. Until Albert cklenburg turned his head first with an uncomfortable expression. He turned back ti continuously, turned it back, and turned it back again. On the day of the fifth failure, reading the mory of him blowing off one arm and robbing Brandenburg of information, I thought I could no longer leave him alone. And coincidentally, from the mont I decided not to hand over the earring to him, he was not seen in front of . Yes, for the past week, he intentionally avoided . He took leaves making trivial excuses and willfully skipped every mobilization. Twenty-two tis, I repeated the words he spat out when he was frantic in my head, and every ti I did, my blood dried up.
THUD―
―Truly I tell you, today you will be with in paradise.
The Divine Power released the tension that had stiffened the whole body. A vague belief that rest would co soon dominated the mind. The hazy mind was pushed back and the things in front began to be seen clearly.
“It’s hard to see these eyes for once.”
Nicolaus's blue eyes flash receiving the light of Divine Power burning from below. Those lips were finally curved softly containing liberation and satisfaction. Now there was no desire in those eyes. As soon as I saw those irises that were exceptionally bright inside, the dozens of tis he turned flashed through my head like the film of a projector winding while making a sharp sound. Twenty-two tis, seventeen tis…. I let out a faint laugh feeling my mind becoming distant for so reason. He spent several days in this place. The opportunity to make up for it that he ntioned must have run out now. I saw his neck and shirt soaked in blood. He looked like this in all the past nurous days, and he was like that today too. There was no place that was intact. I wanted to ask what he does to make blood flow from his ears, and if he can hear sounds. Lukas untied the cloth wrapped around my mouth and tied behind my head and threw it away. The tongue that had been pressed down had stiffened a long ti ago and didn't move as I wanted. No, I thought so, but my mouth moved on its own and spat out a crooked remark.
“Satisfied?”
“…….”
Lukas opened his mouth without a word, surprised for a mont. His gaze was fixed on my eyes. Soon he smiled with a bitter face.
“Why are you crying? It’s a happy day.”
“Well, I am angry at myself.”
If I were a little stronger, this wouldn't have happened. However, there is no way that is possible without Divine Power against tens and hundreds of Pleroma. Unless there is magic close to god, magic with the property of purification that interferes with the soul-mind. To supplent the lacking Magic Power amount and aggression, what I have is only skill and effort. I know how useless and irrational it is to bla myself for things that don't change. I know clearly, but having to watch a friend suffer from that was hell. When my lack is a problem limited only to the individual called , that no longer gives any frustration, but the fact that a friend suffered countless tis from that, that alone and nothing else made painful.
Even if I received the artifact from him and lived through all that ti together, the fact that Lukas had to turn back ti this much and experience that many deaths does not change. So, this was no longer a problem of the artifact. The feeling of wanting to demand why he did that to Lukas also definitely squird, but that was secondary.
Lukas, who was looking down at with surprised eyes, answered in a low voice.
“ too.”
“…….”
“But the side that caused this ss is the other side, so why should we feel guilt? Anyway, we eventually succeeded in making this world. That is all we need to think about right now.”
Lukas smiled nonchalantly. And he pointed to my hands tied behind my back.
“Shall I take off the restraints?”
“Then are you going to go without taking them off?”
“Your wrists are choked, and it still hurts, so I'm worried what to do.”
“…….”
Spouting nonsense. Attacks received in Misis disappear as they are. When I narrowed my eyes containing such aning, Lukas laughed as if he understood and rummaged through the clothes of a fallen Pleroma. He approached throwing sothing like a magnet lightly upward.
“Before, another Pleroma also carried this in his jacket inner pocket, the thod is similar. At that ti you ca to save , rember?”
“Was it December last year?”
“Probably. The situation has beco opposite to that ti…. Only I hear this all the ti, so I wanted to try saying this once too.”
What words? I looked up at him with my eyes still narrowed.
CLANG―
The sound of restraints falling was heard. Lukas cleared his throat and said with a playful smile.
“Let's go back.”
***
“Luka present~!”
As I was lying on the hospital room bed blinking only my eyes, Elias tore a newspaper in half and threw it into the air. Grey paper flew around and fell onto the bed and floor. I jumped up, snatched the paper trying to fall on my face, and said.
“What kind of behavior is this?”
“It flies well if you tear it.”
“Are you kidding….”
After finishing the procedures, I slept for a whole day straight and woke up, and now was a mont 12 hours passed even from then. It was after everything was finished. I pieced together the newspaper and read the letters.
[Pleroma Brandenburg Archdiocese Priests 199 Captured Alive]
[Pleroma Brandenburg Archdiocese-Hamburg Archdiocese-Mölitz Diocese Bishop Corps 2 Killed, 13 Captured… Discussion on Disposition Underway]
[German Empire Special Operations Command, Destruction of Brandenburg Archdiocese]
“Destruction? They say it like this?”
“Hahahaha!”
At my reluctant reaction, Elias sat with his arms crossed and burst into laughter. I read all of the first page of the newspaper which was decorated unnecessarily grandly as if we had won a war or sothing and lay down again.
It was really the end. The ti I was there felt like a lie now. The sll of blood and everything felt only distant now. The friends except were all roaming around energetically without being hospitalized, and looking at Elias right now would give the answer. Narce was called regarding the loss of the Holy Nail when the portal opened and hasn't returned yet.
Now the problem was Leo. After I woke up, he looked at my face without a word and went outside without greeting and wasn't coming back. It wasn't that I didn't know the reason. The mont he saw , he must have read all the ti I went through. I already knew well that even if I tried to hide the ti I passed in front of him, I couldn't. Furthermore…. Since I avoided him the whole ti in this tiline, even if he holds mories of the previous tiline, it was understandable for him to be angry about that. Feeling my insides clogged up tight, I asked.
“Eli. Where is Leo?”
“There is a day you ask where Leo is. Pay attention to who is in front of your eyes too~”
“I am paying attention. To cleaning up the newspaper.”
“Ah~ it shouldn't be this direction.”
Elias laughed lightly, brought his body close to , and spoke seriously.
“Luka, listen well. Leo said he's pissed off and not coming.”
CREAK―
“What are you talking about.”
It wasn't who spoke. I turned my head to the opened door. Leo, who entered saying that, did not greet even though our gazes t. For so reason he was wearing a short-sleeved shirt, and perhaps because he had an injury on his forearm, a bandage was wrapped around it. He approached with a face calr than usual, sat down, and spoke quietly.
“How is it? The feeling.”
“…….”
I bit my lip slightly.
‘It feels helpless already.’
To speak honestly, my breath is getting blocked. At that rescue site, he couldn't have been saying all his thoughts and inner feelings in a row, but now is different. It was sufficiently his turn to interrogate about everything. I opened my mouth to say sothing, stopped, and opened my mouth again.
“You hurt your arm.”
“Huh? Ah, yes.”
Leo answered flatly and smiled faintly. Since neither he nor Elias said any more words, I was about to give up speaking too, but feeling that this atmosphere would freeze uncontrollably if I did, I examined Leo's appearance from the head to bring up a topic to divert attention appropriately.
“Um, where did the artifact on your ear go?”
“Which one.”
“The one I gave you.”
“…Oh~”
Elias exclaid with strangely crinkled eyes. Leo did not answer. Instead, he only stared at intently while shrugging his shoulders with his arms crossed.
“…….”
For so reason, I felt a strange anxiety instinctively. Even while knowing well that I was thinking crazy thoughts myself, I slowly reached out my hand. Leo moved as I turned his head if I turned it. Really, there was only a piercing mark on his ear and no artifact. I grabbed his collar and checked if there was a necklace hanging. Naturally, there wasn't.
Thoughts bounced increasingly in another direction. I only now recalled that Leo wearing a short-sleeved shirt that didn't fit the season, and beyond that, him entering here wearing only a shirt when he always even wears a jacket, was quite strange behavior. Surely not, it couldn't be, but surely not….
GRAB―
I grabbed the bandage on his forearm. Only then did Leo smirk and speak.
“It hurts.”
The ‘surely not’ actually happened. I looked blankly at his face and shook my head.
“…You are really crazy.”
“More than you?”
“I….”
“You did it several tis.”
My speech was blocked shut. A vain laugh squeezed out of my mouth. I felt Elias, who didn't know the aning of his words, looking at Leo with a puzzled face only now. Only then did Leo smile his characteristic fishy smile and speak.
“Now there is no way to back out? Unless you slice my arm open with a knife.”
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