Chapter 357
THUD—
I saw the light Leo had created. Faint vibrations, light, his expression, the words written at the tip of his quill. Words I wished I could have heard as a voice—my stomach burned, and my heart ached. Literally. The core wrapped around my heart reacted to this unknowable light, and pain crashed over . It felt as though every ounce of magic power in my body was being drawn into the light.
'As if those words were an activation key....'
I stared at his hand, glowing as if sothing were piercing through it. The light pressed down on the back of his hand. A lost covenant belonging to no one, not anchored in the present, shone through his hand. I couldn't even tell what I was thinking.
"...!"
I caught Leo as he closed his eyes and pitched forward toward the floor.
"Hey!"
It was unmistakable. No magic whatsoever had been invoked, yet his words had functioned as a spell unto themselves. These things I have spoken to you, that in you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overco the world. Not a single fragnt of it had been spoken aloud, and yet.... His words had bound themselves into a covenant. Since when—since today? I couldn't even be certain of that.
"What did you do?"
I held onto Leo, who couldn't regain his bearings, and spoke.
"What kind of magic did you use, here?"
You can't even use Divine Power.
He couldn't have said those things to with the intent to cast a spell. His words had clearly begun as talking to himself, and from what I could see, it didn't look like he'd been speaking with the aim of casting magic. Leo's breathing quickened, so I struck his chest and channeled Divine Power into him.
"...!"
His sky-blue eyes, slightly unfocused, were visible between his eyelids. I deftly flicked my fingers to levitate the hardcover journal in midair and grabbed him by the collar.
"What happened, Leo? Talk to ."
"——."
His lips moved, yet silence hung around my ears. Just as it had been all along. The quill, gleaming like lapis lazuli, wrote his words.
[Nothing.]
"Nothing? Have you lost your mind?"
"...——."
[I think I saw a vision for a mont. It can't have been anything else—I'd have to be out of my mind otherwise.]
The letters forming at the quill's tip flowed slowly. Because I couldn't hear his voice, I hadn't realized it right away, but Leo was clearly struggling to speak. That much was obvious just from the creased brow contorted with shock.
"What was it? Tell . I have ways of reading mories with Divine Power."
[You can't actually read them, though. Even I can't sort out what I saw inside my own head, so do you really think interrogating is going to produce a coherent answer?]
"......"
I glared at those glinting strokes, then looked at Leo. He barely moved his lips, groping at the air with his gaze as he murmured.
[How much do you know about Narce?]
"What, all of a sudden?"
[How much do you know?]
"Well, I...."
How much did I know about Narce? Not much different from what Leo knew. While I trailed off, lost in thought, his words continued.
[Just how far into the future can that friend of his read?]
How far could Narce read into the future? Narce had said the future he could read precisely only extended a few days, and even that was constantly shifting due to countless variables. Considering the reactions he'd shown so far, that wasn't wrong.
Was Leo saying this because he'd seen the future?
"Explain in more detail."
He stood with his lips barely parted, doing nothing but heaving for breath. Whether he didn't care that his hair was stabbing into his eyes or simply lacked the strength to fix it, he'd left everything as it was, abandoned. The quill likewise hung motionless in the air. Fine—if he couldn't organize a single thought, I wouldn't press him on it now. I felt my breath seize in my chest and let that helplessness out as sound.
"What were you thinking, saying sothing like that?"
I looked at where the light had been on Leo's hand—now gone. The light that had pierced through his palm was still vivid in my eyes. Though he hadn't uttered a single elent of a covenant formula, the thought flooded in that it would produce an effect identical to covenant magic—perhaps even a more powerful permanence than that.
He was not soone who spoke carelessly, and precisely because of that, he was not soone who would ever regret a decision once he'd spoken words he'd turned over dozens of tis inside. So even if his declaration to give his life beca reality, he wouldn't regret it—he'd be satisfied, feeling he'd fulfilled his mission. That thought chilled . And I knew well that this chill was the very sensation Leo had been living with all along.
'...Ah.'
My insides were burning up.
I understood what it ant that he spoke like Patroclus. The Patroclus that Elias represented and the one that was mine would take different forms, but.
I knew it then, and I know it now. His justice carries on through . That was the reason he'd vowed to share life and death with . This peace was fleeting, and at any mont we were bound to face a firing line one step away, so this resolve was tily. If not now, there would be no ti for us to have a conversation like this. I couldn't be sure my words were reaching him clearly, but I slowly drew out the sound that had been sitting in my heart.
"I'm not the embodint of justice."
The quill remained still. I watched the sunlight-like particles slowly scattering beneath the blue feather and continued.
"You know that? Leo, unlike you with your shining ideals, there's nothing in my eyes."
I just watched you and Elias and followed my way here. So if I had to guess why I was dragged to this place—I swallowed those words. Water already spilled, light already vanished without a trace—I didn't know how to revive and undo it. So there were other words I needed to say right now.
"You said you beco a fool in front of ."
The ideals you envision and your reality are different. In front of , of all situations, you drift far from the ideals you've been chasing. I knew he'd been agonizing between two things he couldn't reconcile.
In your self-deprecating lant, unexpectedly, I see you again.
Becoming a fool—that's wrong. That expression might be partly right, but it isn't adequate to describe who you are now.
"You're just becoming more yourself."
I whispered words he couldn't hear. I didn't know how far the you of this era could understand. But you have never once drifted from your ideals, up to and including this very mont. Ironically, because this very mont existed.
You're soone who knows what a blessing it is to beco yourself. Your progress cos from that. An inadequate present, a shabby self—because you can only see one side, unlike others who shine, every unsightly facet of yourself lies exposed under the midday sun. No shadow can conceal the flaws. If you aspire to beco the flawless, polished version of yourself you wish for, that's wrong. Because it's impossible. Behind the refined adversities in biographies of great figures lie grueling hardships that were never shown. The reverent light wreathing a sage's statue is a tribute to the darkness that sage endured, yet we don't easily comprehend what lies outside our line of sight. So if you chase the grandeur of the light they wear, you'll lose your light; if you set forth from the darkness alongside them, you'll shine. Yes—and so their beginnings must surely have looked like this.
I looked at a person who would one day remain as a statue and be recorded for eternity. There was no cause for self-loathing. I wondered if he knew that one is complete because one is incomplete, and sincere because one has accepted that. The ability to accept as they are the nature and thoughts that no shadow can conceal—that is your talent. I have nothing for the noonday sun to illuminate, so I can look at myself without feeling, and this is different from how he looks at himself. My gaze is hollow; yours is brimming with the struggle of living. I have been stagnant, and you have been moving forward.
"Sotis I don't know what you see in ."
It's you who throws yourself into the inferno without hesitation. You, more than anyone, don't hesitate to be yourself. Because you accepted yourself, you were able to climb this far with modest senses and talent—and you're stepping into the most human place, not just in magic but in every domain. And yet you.
"You say you'll keep alive no matter what cos...."
And yet you define as your cause?
The one who reaches the duty a person ought to uphold is you—the most human of all. The one who should protect that light is , yet you're the one saying the opposite.
Whatever decision you make. I still see in you a future that, in so possible world, I could have beco—but in the world I lived in, never could. Always, since before I ca here, and still now. You are the one my reverence should be directed toward. Before a person who is more sincere to himself than anyone, I can't help but remain this way.
If the one life I lose is yours, if you've resolved to save in that way.
Your operation is a success. Because I can't turn away from this young possibility passing through ti I never had.
mories whose aning I couldn't grasp flowed hazily past. My mouth opened on its own.
"This ti, I'll have to make sure I don't lose it, no matter what."
***
"Narce."
—"Ah, it's been a while since you ca looking for ~"
I went to Narce's guest room at the Nymphenburg Palace in Munich. The mont I opened the door, Pai climbed up my leg and circled around on my shoulder. I couldn't tell if he wasn't speaking through Divine Power—regrettably, I couldn't hear Pai's squeaking—but I could understand what Pai was trying to convey through his actions.
"Yeah, it's been a while. Both of you. But I did visit during the relic thing too... anyway, I did."
—"Co more often~ Want so tea?"
"No, I'm fine."
Eating or drinking while conversing split my focus. I could hear speech through Divine Power right now, but even so—it hadn't been long since my sense had vanished, and I was anxious about dividing my concentration. Narce watched quietly for a mont, then pointed to the sofa.
—"You're here because of Leo?"
"Yeah."
—"Seems like a headache~"
"That too. How perceptive."
—"Hahaha!"
Narce laughed as if he'd heard sothing absurd. Obviously, if I'd bothered to co to his room, it was because sothing was troubling —even without his ability for Insight, that much was an easy guess. Narce waited for to speak, so I got straight to the point.
"I think Leo cast a covenant spell."
—"Mm. Oh dear...."
"......"
A person who can't use Divine Power cast a covenant spell, and that's all the reaction I get?
Narce wasn't surprised. What did he 'know' to react like this? Given the abilities he possessed, if this was his reaction, it beca impossible for to judge what he'd known. Everything from whether it was truly covenant magic to why Leo had ntioned him.
—"Then you must have heard about from Leo."
"I'm curious how you know that, too."
I said that, then smiled and continued right away.
"Yeah. Leo saw sothing, and it seed related to you. To be precise, your Foresight."
—"Honestly, I do know what Leo saw. But...."
Pai nestled into my hand. Narce looked at Pai and spoke.
—"I can't tell you what it is. That's not my domain."
"......"
He knew what Leo saw but couldn't tell . What a fascinating answer. I bit my lip lightly, sank into thought, then asked.
"What if I figure it out on my own?"
—"If that's the natural course, then you'd be able to, but I don't think now is the ti."
"My head hurts...."
Why wasn't it the ti? Was that what his Foresight told him? Narce smiled sheepishly and spoke.
—"I'm sorry. I want to help too."
"No, I wasn't blaming you. If you overextend your ability like before and get sick, I'd feel even worse."
—"Ah, you an when we went on the train trip~?"
I nodded and smiled. If he couldn't answer, then for now, it couldn't be helped. Of course, I had no intention of giving up on finding out. Then Narce said sothing ridiculous.
—"Since you're here, want to play a board ga? With Pai!"
"Pai can play a board ga?"
—"Why not?!"
The ball of fur planted his front paws on my hand in protest. Pai's voice was unusually faint compared to normal. Probably because compared to Narce's Divine Power, the Divine Power Pai transmitted was feeble. Seeing that there were slight disruptions in receiving Divine Power too, it seed the damage from the bishop's incantation wasn't limited to my ears alone.
Anyway, with apologies to Pai, I didn't think the cognitive capacity of a kindergartner and the cognitive capacity of two people approaching adulthood—no, I was simply an adult: I'll admit it hadn't been that long since I beca one, and in many ways the blood on my head hadn't dried yet, but still—could possibly compare....
And yet, remarkably, it was possible.
'What?'
I swallowed my disbelief as I watched Pai's pieces and chips, which Narce was moving on his behalf. Common sense was crumbling. Of course, a baby rabbit using Divine Power and communicating with people wasn't common sense to begin with. You had to cut him so slack—quite a lot of slack, actually—but still, he understood the rules better than expected. Narce swept up all the chips and grinned.
—"I won this round~"
"You turned off your Insight."
—"Ah, obviously. Haha, let win at least once."
We'd each scored one point so far. In the end, this was really a ga of entertaining Pai. We'd probably play nine more rounds and each win three tis. Since even at this very mont I was still tethered to Leo's covenant and the words he'd said to , playing a ga that didn't require thinking wasn't a bad thing. If I hadn't, there would have been no room for idle gaming right now. The helplessness I felt toward him—the person who'd placed his own life as the price for mine—couldn't be erased by ti spent like this.
Narce cleared Pai's stones, which he'd been using as pieces, from the board and rolled the dice. At the sa ti, again without warning, unexpected words reached .
—"What's your reason for striving toward justice?"
I slowly raised my head.
—"Start from there. I think that's the right approach."
"...Hm, that's sudden."
—"First, it's to defeat Adrian Askanian. If the Empire transitions to a republic in the future, to stand against that benevolent giant who'd instantly win the support of the vast majority and be elected president, you'd need to do the sa. Considering His Majesty personally sent Adrian Askanian abroad, your efforts for your reputation aren't excessive~"
"......"
—"You seem to be wondering now whether that man is truly a villain, but even so, your goal hasn't changed yet."
I fixed my gaze on Narce's eyes. Narce wasn't looking at , absorbed in moving the wooden pieces. Instead of answering that, I responded to the earlier point.
"...He decided on his own to stay abroad longer. So what?"
—"If I started explaining the political reasoning behind that decision, I'd talk myself hoarse. You know that~"
I didn't respond and pushed a chip forward. Narce continued alone.
—"As for why you try so hard—of course what I ntioned before is still a valid reason, but there's actually one more motive. You already know the answer. That's why you're not answering ...."
Narce still didn't look at , continuing in that leisurely manner of soone with no concern for worldly affairs.
—"It's simply because all of this unfolded before you. What unfolded before you is what brought you this far."
"......"
—"You think you're far from soone who does the duty a person ought to do, but, well. Not turning away from a drowning lamb may sound ordinary, but it's not actually an ordinary thing, is it?"
"Thanks for the complint."
—"Haha, I'm not joking~"
Narce looked at and smiled.
—"What you used to believe about yourself has changed a lot by now. Hasn't it? Yesterday's isn't today's , and the from a month ago isn't either. What you knew yesterday isn't aningful today, and yesterday's goals don't function today. Because you haven't stagnated."
"......"
He was saying the opposite of what I thought. To apply his advice in the right places, I'd need quite a few more clues, and above all, my attention was still on Leo's covenant—but I looked into Narce's eyes and nodded.
"Yeah, I hear you. Thanks for saying that out of concern for ."
Narce answered with a smile.
It was almost ti to head back to the Crown Prince's Palace. Before coming here, I'd promised to et Leo again, so I needed to leave now.
"I really should get going. I'll co visit more often from now on."
"Sure, and I'll be visiting Leo's room a lot over the next week too~"
"......"
***
I never knew what to do when Narce's mischievous side kicked in. He didn't need to go out of his way to let know he knew my office had evaporated.
'Just you wait one week.'
Try coming to Bavaria.... But emotionally, Bavaria was practically a second ho at this point, so this resolve probably wouldn't last long. I'd co to Bavaria, sure, but it'd be best to hole up in the hotel I'd visited with cklenburg during the Extra Chapter.
So then, why was I going to et Leo again now?
This ti, I was genuinely going to attempt a thod to restore my senses to their previous state.
'I don't know if it'll succeed or what thod he's planning to use, though.'
Now was the ti to put my trust in Leo and see. He'd been the one to bring up the topic again after we'd finished our conversation earlier, so the timing was ideal.
I took a deep breath and threw open the door to Leo's room. I walked through the inner room he'd left open and scanned the hallway—another room stood open ahead.
WHOOSH—
As I drew closer, the air felt as refreshing as if a purification artifact had been placed inside. The mont I entered, what I saw was a room utterly empty save for one bed and a trolley. No—I should include Leo, standing beside the bed with the grave expression of a mber of a surgical team, and the plants affixed to all four walls.
"......"
An operating table?
It was obviously just a bed, but standing before Leo, who for so reason radiated the aura of dical personnel with that solemn look on his face, made it feel exactly like an operating table. It was the sa feeling as the ti during the Extra Chapter when I'd been confronted with the bed for Astral Projection—why did such a thing need to exist in this world? I opened the hardcover journal and floated the quill in the air.
"You want to lie down there?"
[Would you rather stand?]
"Yeah. I think that'd be better."
Why?
'No matter how I look at it, this setup screams operating table.'
The trolley beside the bed was loaded with dical artifacts I'd never seen before. That only deepened my suspicion. Honestly, I hadn't expected it to be this clinical. I'd figured it would be sothing normal, like casting a magic spell—sothing along those lines.
'...He's not actually going to rip my ears off, is he? Not that ripping them off would change anything.'
Could I really entrust surgery to this quack? Then again, I couldn't wait a whole month in this crisis where who knew what would blow up just a week from now. Steeped in the tension of facing an unlicensed practitioner, I was looking back and forth between the journal and his mouth when Leo, his face equally taut with nerves, opened his lips.
[Let's begin.]
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