Chapter 32: Confused Man
—SEBASTIAN BLACKWOOD—
Being engaged to Aria Valen had once felt like an endless punishnt.
That thought alone would have sounded cruel to anyone else, but it was the truth.
Because from the very beginning, she was never ant to be the woman tied to .
I still rembered that day vividly.
Duke Valen had originally intended to introduce another girl into the household. Rumors quietly spread among noble circles about an illegitimate daughter hidden away from public eyes. At the ti, I barely cared enough to pay attention.
Then Aria suddenly pointed at during dinner and declared she wanted as her future husband.
Just like that.
No hesitation.
No sha.
No concern for what anyone else thought.
And Duke Valen, despite the fury I briefly saw hidden behind his smile, agreed to it imdiately.
That single mont altered everything.
At first, I thought Aria rely acted out of childish selfishness.
She wanted attention.
But unfortunately for , Aria Valen was never temporary about anything.
She pursued relentlessly afterward.
Morning visits.
Tea invitations.
Letters.
Gifts.
Sudden appearances at social gatherings.
Argunts whenever I ignored her.
At so point, even entering House Valen beca exhausting because I already knew she would appear the mont I stepped through the doors.
And truthfully?
I handled it poorly.
No.
Worse than poorly.
I beca cold.
Dismissive.
Sotis openly irritated.
There were monts when I deliberately avoided looking at her entirely simply because I knew she would imdiately brighten the second our eyes t.
At the ti, I convinced myself that distancing her was the kinder option.
If I remained detached long enough, eventually she would lose interest.
But Aria never did.
She continued chasing after stubbornly like soone desperately trying to hold together a collapsing world.
And sohow...
I never once stopped to question why.
Now, looking back at everything, the guilt settled unpleasantly inside my chest.
Because the mont she finally stopped...
I lost my peace entirely.
I leaned back against the chair inside my office and stared blankly at the docunts spread across the desk before .
Since that day she rejected , I had attempted repeatedly to focus on work only to fail every single ti.
Every thought returned to her.
To Aria.
Or rather...
To the strange woman she had suddenly beco.
Because the Aria I knew no longer existed.
The current Aria laughed freely without restraint.
She spoke carelessly.
Mocked noble etiquette openly.
And most dangerously of all...
She looked at differently now.
Before, whenever she saw , her entire expression used to brighten instinctively.
Like I had beco the center of her world.
Now?
Now she looked at as though I were rely another person standing in the room.
Nothing more.
That realization bothered far more than it should have.
And that irritated most of all.
Because logically, this should have resolved everything.
Aria no longer pursued .
She wanted freedom.
She wished to end our engagent peacefully.
That was precisely the outco I once wanted.
For a year, I endured her relentless attention while convincing myself that distance was the correct response. I believed that eventually she would tire herself out and move on naturally.
And now she finally had.
So why did it feel unbearable now?
I exhaled slowly and rubbed lightly against my temple as though physical pressure alone could force my thoughts back into order.
Perhaps because I no longer understood her.
Aria used to be predictable.
Demanding.
Transparent.
Everything she felt always appeared directly across her face without restraint.
If she was angry, the entire room knew imdiately.
If she was jealous, she beca impossible to tolerate.
If she was happy simply because I looked in her direction for longer than usual, she glowed so brightly it almost felt uncomfortable to witness.
Back then, every reaction she had could easily be anticipated.
But the current Aria constantly caught off guard.
One mont she laughed loudly in crowded streets while clinging dramatically to that male servant as though noble dignity no longer existed in her vocabulary.
The next mont she looked at with detachnt and rejected as though severing our engagent cost her nothing at all.
And sohow...
That calmness disturbed more than her obsession ever did.
Because obsession at least ant I still occupied space inside her world.
Now?
I could no longer tell where I stood at all.
I suddenly rembered her words again.
"I am giving you back your freedom."
At the ti, I should have felt relieved.
Those were the exact words I once wished desperately to hear from her.
Instead, sothing twisted unpleasantly inside my chest the mont she said them.
I felt strangely...
...abandoned.
The realization itself irritated imdiately.
Ridiculous.
I leaned back further against the chair while staring toward the large office windows overlooking the estate grounds.
Outside, servants moved calmly beneath the afternoon sunlight while distant fountains shimred quietly under the breeze. Knights trained near the far courtyard while several attendants crossed the stone paths carrying docunts and tea trays between buildings.
Everything appeared normal.
Yet my thoughts remained entirely disordered.
No matter how many tis I attempted to focus elsewhere, my mind returned to her effortlessly.
To the way she laughed without restraint.
To the strange phrases she used that sotis made no sense at all.
And worst of all...
To the expression she wore while rejecting .
There had been no anger in her eyes.
No bitterness.
No desperate attempt to change my mind.
Just acceptance.
As though she had already decided long ago that I no longer belonged beside her.
That expression unsettled deeply.
"...Your Grace?" my attendant asked cautiously after what was likely my fifth sigh within several minutes.
I looked toward him again.
"What is it?"
He hesitated briefly before speaking carefully.
"...Would you perhaps like to arrange a visit to House Valen?"
Imdiately, an image surfaced in my mind.
Aria smiling brightly while patting that servant’s head without hesitation.
Aria laughing loudly inside the streets while completely unconcerned with who might witness her behavior.
Aria looking at calmly before rejecting outright.
Then another mory followed shortly afterward.
Her face turning pale while clutching her stomach after I called her my love.
My expression darkened slightly at the recollection.
At the ti, I genuinely thought she might collapse.
And sohow, despite the absurdity of the situation, I could still vividly rember the warmth of her body against my arms when I pulled her away from that servant.
That woman truly possessed the ability to irritate beyond reason.
And yet...
I wanted to see her again.
I wanted to understand what changed.
No.
More honestly...
I wanted to know whether Aria still had space for in her life.
The thought alone made my chest feel heavier.
"...Yes," I answered at last.
The attendant blinked slightly, perhaps surprised by how quickly I responded.
But before he could say another word, I spoke again.
"Prepare gifts."
The mont the order left my mouth, silence settled briefly across the office.
Because even I realized what that sounded like.
For a year, Aria had been the one constantly bringing gifts to .
Now the situation had sohow reversed completely.
My attendant lowered his head respectfully. "Imdiately, Your Grace."
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