Chapter 40: Screw This
—ARIA—
What the hell...
Really.
What the actual hell was this world supposed to want from ?
The carriage wheels rolled steadily across the road back toward the capital, but my thoughts remained trapped sowhere else entirely. My hands were still cold from the nightmare. Even now, every ti I closed my eyes, I could still hear the roar of the crowd screaming for my execution.
I clenched my fists tightly against my lap.
It felt too real.
It was not like an ordinary nightmare born from stress or anxiety. It felt like sothing inevitable waiting for . As though the world itself had briefly opened just enough to show where all of this was truly heading no matter how desperately I struggled against it.
And the worst part?
I had tried.
I genuinely tried.
Ever since waking up in this world, I had done everything possible to avoid becoming the villainess from the novel. I stayed away from Cynthia. I avoided bullying her despite the original Aria’s history. I broke off the engagent with Sebastian instead of obsessively clinging to him. I even tried avoiding the male leads entirely whenever possible.
I changed my behavior.
My decisions.
My entire personality.
So why did that nightmare still feel like a warning?
As though none of it mattered.
My jaw tightened faintly.
Was I seriously destined to die no matter what?
Just because the plot demanded it?
Just because so fictional story decided the villainess needed to suffer for the heroine’s happy ending?
A bitter laugh almost escaped .
How ridiculous.
How unfair.
In the original novel, Aria died because she spent years tornting Cynthia out of jealousy and obsession. She manipulated people, abused her authority, and beca increasingly unstable until the entire kingdom turned against her.
That ending made sense for the original Aria.
But ?
I had not done any of those things.
I did not even want Sebastian anymore.
Hell, I wanted absolutely nothing to do with any of them.
And yet in that nightmare, they still stood there watching die.
Sebastian.
Ezekiel.
Matthias.
The prince whom I haven’t t yet.
None of them moved.
None of them questioned it.
Even Cynthia looked...hateful.
That disturbed more than the hatred from the crowd.
I slowly leaned my head against the carriage window and closed my eyes briefly.
So what exactly was the point of transmigrating into this world?
To struggle helplessly toward the sa ending anyway?
To spend every day walking on eggshells trying not to trigger so invisible death flag while fate quietly dragged toward execution regardless?
The more I thought about it, the angrier I beca.
Honestly...
Screw this.
If I was truly dood no matter what I did, then why was I exhausting myself trying to please everyone?
Why was I trying so hard to avoid offending people who already viewed negatively from the beginning?
Why was I carefully managing my words and actions for the sake of a future that apparently refused to change?
I let out a quiet breath and stared blankly outside the carriage.
Maybe I had been approaching this all wrong from the start.
Maybe there was no reward for being good here.
No hidden route where the villainess peacefully escaped and lived happily sowhere far away.
Maybe this world simply wanted Aria Valen to suffer because that was the role written for her.
And if that was true...
Then fine.
Fine.
If I truly could not avoid dying by their hands soday, then maybe I should stop wasting energy trying to beco soone acceptable to them.
A cold smile slowly ford against my lips.
After all, if the story insisted on treating like the villainess regardless of what I did...
Then maybe they should experience one properly.
Not the obsessive original Aria who chased n around pathetically.
Not the desperate woman begging for affection.
No.
If they insisted on forcing toward destruction anyway, then I might as well live honestly before reaching it.
I opened my eyes slowly.
The fear from earlier still lingered beneath my chest, but the panic had already begun transforming into defiance.
Because what exactly had Cynthia suffered from since I arrived here?
Nothing.
I avoided her.
I left her alone.
I even attempted to be cordial despite knowing she was technically the heroine destined to replace in everyone’s favor.
And still, the nightmare showed dying for her sake.
As though her happiness automatically required my destruction.
A humorless laugh escaped .
Amazing.
Absolutely amazing.
I spent weeks stressing myself trying not to offend these people.
For what?
To still get publicly executed?
I rubbed my face tiredly before leaning back against the seat.
Honestly, maybe dying would not even be the worst outco anymore.
At this point, I was exhausted.
Exhausted from constantly calculating every interaction.
Exhausted from monitoring every possible "plot event."
Exhausted from trying to survive inside a story that clearly wanted cornered.
And if death truly waited for at the end regardless...
Then maybe I should at least live however I wanted before reaching it.
Who knew?
Maybe dying here would simply send sowhere else afterward.
Maybe I would wake up in another body.
Another world.
Another ridiculous situation.
At this point, transmigration itself no longer felt impossible.
I stared quietly at my reflection against the carriage window.
Aria’s face stared back at .
Beautiful.
Privileged.
Yet dood.
Then my thoughts drifted briefly toward Ezekiel.
My expression darkened imdiately.
The confusion on his face earlier almost made laugh.
As though he genuinely could not understand why I disliked him now.
That man had spent years looking down on Aria. Every mory I possessed of him involved arrogance, irritation, or outright disdain toward her existence.
And yet suddenly he wanted explanations because I no longer chased after him?
Please.
The nightmare only made everything clearer.
Those n were never safe for .
In the end, every single one of them still stood beneath that execution platform while I died.
The mory alone made my stomach twist unpleasantly.
I looked down at my trembling hands before slowly tightening them again.
No.
I was done begging fate to spare .
If this world truly intended to destroy eventually, then I would stop wasting ti trying to earn rcy from people who never planned to give it in the first place.
Let them hate .
Let them misunderstand .
Let them call difficult, sharp-tongued, unstable, or arrogant.
At least that version of would be honest.
At least I would no longer spend every waking mont terrified of accidentally triggering soone else’s storyline.
Another quiet laugh escaped .
Poor original Aria.
Maybe she never stood a chance either.
The carriage continued moving steadily toward the capital while the afternoon sky slowly darkened beyond the windows.
And sowhere deep inside , the realization that perhaps there had never been a "safe route" for at all, finally settled in.
If fate truly insisted on making its villainess...
Then perhaps it was ti to stop running from the role.
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