hud!
Kneelingbeforetheking,Renseedtoremberthepast.
isbrother,calledawayagainandagainbytheking’scommandtofulfillhismission.isbrother,whohadnotbeenathisside,buthadbecoapillarforthekingdomandbeenusedasitssword.hekingwhohadcalledhisbrotherawayagain,justwhenRenhadfinallythoughthehadreturnedtohim.
isknee,whichhadstruckhardagainstthewintergroundfrozencold,throbbedwithasharpache.
Renliftedhisreddenedeyes.
heeyeswithburstbloodvesselsseed,ataglance,toholdaglimrofresentnt.
***
heroadtotheroyalcastlehadbeenlikeathornpathforthegroup.
Rencouldnotforgettheshockofthatday.
Dozensoftis,evenwhenhisbrotherturnedawayfromhimandleft,Renhadunderstood.ehadtriedtounderstand.Becauseheknewthemissionentrustedtohim.ehadhatedhim,resentedhim,missedhim.......Againandagain,hehadthoughtthathisbrother,wholefthimbehind,hadabandonedhim.hatwaswhy,whenemarleftwithoutaword,Renhadsobbedandsearchedforhimlikehewashavingafit.
Butthiswasthefirsttitheshockhadeverbeenthisgreat.
reatenoughthateventhehearthehadthoughtwasalreadytrainedbroke,andalmostgaveup.
Renhadlearnedthateventheillnesshehadtriedsohardtohideheldnoaningtoemar.
nthatinstantofterror,theonlythoughtinhismindhadbeenthathewantedtoleanonhim.fhecouldholdemar’slarge,thick,unbearably✪оvеlіgһt✪(fficialversion)hothand,itfeltasifeverythingwouldbeallright.ehadthoughttherewouldbeasenseofrelieffarbeyond,manytisbeyond,whathehadfeltwhenheheldPeruan’shand.
ButemarhadnotheldRen’shand.
hatenormousbackasheturnedandlefttheroom—thebackthathadwaveredthroughRen’stears.
Ren......resentedhim.
“Ren,howisyourbody.......”
Ren,whohadbeentakinghisdicine,liftedhiseyesandlookedathim.
Atthoseeyes,likeafrozenwinterforest,emarlosthiswords.
eseedtoknowwhatRenhadmisunderstood.Butemardidnothavetheeloquencetoundothatmisunderstanding.
“Doyouhavesothingtosay?”
AtRen’scoldattitude,emaronlyopenedandclosedhismouthbeforeturningaway.
Renwatchedthedoor,lefthollowlyopen,withoutshowinganythinganddrankdowntherestofhisdicine.Jepeto,watchinghim,fidgetedhelplessly.
“Ren,that......e...”
“’mtired.”
“......Rest,Ren.”
Clickinghistongueinwardly,Jepetoleftthecarriage.
hedoorclosed,andRenwasaloneagain.
Renleanedhisheadagainstthecarriageandquietlystaredupattheceiling.
utside,snowkeptblowingwithoutrest.
umanhadsaiditwaswinter’sfinalsnow.
Asexpected,Renhatedsnow.
othinggoodhadeverhappenedonasnowyday.
verytiemarleft,itsnowed,andthistihehadsufferedanunexpectedseizure.
Couldhethinkthatoncewinterpassed,everythingwouldbeallright?
hepersonhehadwantedmosttostaybesidehimhadnotstayedbyhisside,whilePeruan,astranger,hadremainedbesidehimtheentireti.
tmadehimfeelsothingimpossibletoputintowords.
Maybeitwouldhavebeeneasierforeveryoneifhehadsimplycriedoutinshock,screaming,“Mybrotherabandoned!”hentheywouldonlyhaveneededtosoothehim.hentherecklessfithewasthrowingwouldhavestopped,andasalways,hewouldhavelookedonlyforemar.
ButRenhadgrowntoomuchtostaytrappedinsidethoughtsandstubbornnessthatbelongedonlytohim.
heremusthavebeenareasonemarhadlefttheroomwithoutevenholdinghishand.
hereasonumanandJepetohoveredaroundRenwithdarkfaces,tryingtobringitup,wasprobablytomakeexcusesonemar’sbehalf.
heproblemwasthatRendidnotwanttohearthosewordsfromsooneelse’smouth.
emarwouldthinkRenhadmisunderstoodhim,butRenhadnotmisunderstood.eevenhadavagueguessthatitmighthavebeensochoicemadeforRen’ssake.
But.
hefactthathehadturnedhisbackatthemontRenneededhimmost.
tlodgedinRen’schestlikeathorn.
twasanemotionclosetobetrayal.
Sotis,anactionsankdeeperthananytruth.
Whateveremar’struefeelingswere,thefactthathehadturnedhisbackandleftafterignoringthehandRenhaddesperatelyreachedoutwouldnotchange.omatterwhathesaid.ocomfortwouldbeabletoerasethatfact.
Andso,allthewaytotheroyalcastle,Rendidnotsayasinglewordtoemar.
emarcouldnotcrosstherejectionRenusedagainsthim,refusingtolookforhimorlistentohim.eonlyclenchedhisteeth,hoverednearRen,oropenedhismouthbeforeshuttingitagain.
emarcouldnotcrossthelineRenhaddrawn.
emarcouldnotgrabhimrecklesslythewayRenwouldhave.
heyenteredtheroyalcastlethroughthewhirlingsnow,afterbeingtoldoverandoveragaintobecarefulhowtheybehaved.
hekingdom’scapital,whichRensteppedintoforthefirstti,didnotfeelallthatunfamiliar.tgavehimastrangefeeling.
Sensingthepeople’sbewildernt,Renfeltlikeanuninvitedguest.
Whatmadehimmostdispleasedwasthewaytheytreatedtheeroes.
Facesthatseeduncomfortablesohow,asifafraid.Renkeenlyreadthesubtleanxietyandtension.
Andwhathehatedevenmorewastheeroes’attitude,asiftheywereusedtothosereactionsfrompeople.
Rencouldnothelpimaginingit.
Whentheyfoughtonbattlefieldstheyhadgoneouttohundredsoftisandreturned,hadpeopletrulywelcodtheeroeswhocabackbleeding?adtheynotbeentreatedcarelesslyinstead?isbrother,whohadbeenchosenasachildaftershowingthequalitiesofaeroandsenttothebattlefield—hadhealwaysbeentreatedlikethis?
Ren’sfrozenheartswirledfromdeepwithin.Asifitmightbreakthroughthesurface.
***
Andsohefacedtheking.
Renhadoftenimaginedwhatkindofpersonthekingwhocalledhisbrotherawaymightbe,butnotoncehadhethoughthewouldlooklikethis.
Ren,whohaddroppedtohiskneesasifdrivingthemintotheground,fixedRagnielclearlyinbotheyes.
Ahandso,frail-lookingimpression.ooyoungtobethekingofanation.
RagniellookedatRenwitheyesthatseedtoknowhimverywell.
hatgaze,tenderandsoakedinpity,cloudedwithembarrassntwhenRenkneltonthegroundwithaloudsound.
twasimpossibletoreadtheemotionsinRenashestaredatthatsoftface.otevenRenhimselfknew.
hiswasthekingwhohadcalledhisbrotherawayagainandagainandsenthimtothebattlefield.heonewho,despitehavingpermittedhisresignation,hadcalledhimbacktotheroyalcastleandtakenhisbrotheraway.Andyethewasthekingofanation,theonetowhomarofferedloyaltyaspreciousashisownlife.SoRenwouldneverdaredefyRagniel,theking.
Butthatdidnotanhisheartwouldbethesaasemar’sloyalty.
BeforeRagnielcouldgestureforhimtoriseandsayitwasallright,Ren’schillyvoicerangthroughthepalacegarden.
“amdeeplygratefulforYourMajesty’sgrace.”
twasavoicethatsoundedcoldaswinterwind.
tdidnotsoundatallasifheweregratefulforthatgrace.
Ren’sstraightgaze,withoutturninghishead,lookedatRagnielasifbindinghiminplace.
heservantswhohadpausedquietlyloweredtheireyes,andaheavysilencesettledoverthem.Withonlythesoundofthewindscrapingattheirears,Ragnielmovedslowly.
epersonallyhelpedRentohisfeet.
“hereisnoneedtooffersuchcourtesy.Areyounottheyoungerbrotherofemar,thebrightestshiningstar?”
PattingRen’scoldhand,Ragnielcontinued.
“feelsorrytowardyou.Butthereisthekingdom’sgreatundertaking,yousee.canonlyhopeyouwillunderstand.”
isquietvoice,filledwithsincerity,knockedonRen’sheart.
Buttherewasnowayaheartthathadagedsolonginbitternesswouldltfromafewwordslikethat.Ragnieldidnotseemtohopeforiteither,anddidnotblaRenforgivingnoresponse.
umanwatchedRenwithaworriedface,whileemarsilentlystaredstraightahead.
iselleobservedRenandRagnielwithasubtleexpression.
“YourMajesty.willreportwhathappenedinDelfona.”
“......Shallwe,then.”
Ragnielsmiledapologetically.hegentlydroopingcornersofhiseyesmadehimlookevenfrailer.
“nmyheart,wouldliketoletyourestcomfortablybeforehearingit.Butwillyouunderstandthatcannot?”
Ragnielspokequietlyashelookedoverthegroup.
“Myking.”
iselle,whohadopenedhismouth,lookedatthekingandbentonekneehalfway.
“YourMajestyneedonlygiveyourcommands.heSevenStarsshinesolelyforyou.hereisnoneedforyoutoseekanyone’sunderstandingorofferanyapology.”
“.......”
hen,ifhetoldthemtogiveuptheirlives,weretheysupposedtosimplyhandthemover?
Ren’seyessankashelookedatthem.
eloman,uman,andemarallnodded,asifiselle’swordswereonlyproper.
heonlyonewholikelydidnotthinkthatwasproperwasRen.
Ragniel,whohadbeenlookingatiselle’slonghairwhippinginthewindwithapitifulgaze,clappedhishandstogether.
hesoundoffrictionsplittheheavyair.
Withacleansmile,Ragnielledtheminside,sayingtheyshouldgoinnow.
Afterexchangingafewwordswithiselle,umanlookedforRen,whowaswalkingattheveryback.
“Ren,thereportwilllikelytakequiteawhile.atfirstinyourroomwithJepeto.fanythingmakesyouuncomfortable,lookforaservantnadoe.ewillseetoyourconvenience.”
“.......”
“Ren.......”
Seeingisellestandingstillandwatchingthem,umangrewanxious.
Followinghisgaze,Renturnedhisheadandstaredatiselle.Withoutavoidingtheeyesthatthis,Renopenedhismouth.
“Whoisthat?”
“......hat’siselle.eservesasstrategist.Ren,moreimportantly......onceyou’reshowntoyourroom,don’tgooutfornow.otuntilcobackandtellyouthethingsyouneedtobecarefulabout.Allright?”
ookingattheworryfillingthosegoldeneyes,Renreluctantlynodded.
“Wherecouldevengoinaplacelikethis?”
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