“Ren, Ren. Are you asleep?”
“Why?”
“Later, read the note on the table. Lord Luman left a note behind. Make sure you read it later, okay?”
Ren didn’t answer, but Jepeto was sure that once he fell asleep, Ren would read the note.
He lit a small candle on the table, then put out all the other lights in the room. After that, he cracked the window open a little. Maybe because it was the last day of the festival, the noise outside was far louder than it had been yesterday or the day before. The music was louder. So were the people’s voices.
He can enjoy it like this, at least.
“The fireworks are supposed to be huge, so you should be able to see them from this room. Ren, I’m tired, so I’m going to sleep first, but if you’re still awake, make sure you watch them and tell too.”
“...”
As if he wasn’t expecting an answer, Jepeto only muttered it like he was talking to himself, then lay down on Temar’s bed.
The lights from outside flickered across the ceiling of the inn room.
Jepeto decided to fall asleep early. That way Ren could have so ti to himself. Ideally, now that they’d already paid, it would’ve been nice if they could even use separate rooms—but that was too worrying. No matter how much a newly arrived Hero like Geloman was guarding them, having a minor sleep alone in an inn was a seriously dangerous thing.
“Ah, Ren, if you happen to want to go back out again, make sure you wake up. All right?”
This ti Jepeto spoke firmly, like he intended to get an answer.
“...Thank you.”
A long while later, Ren mumbled in a tiny voice.
Only after finally getting a response did Jepeto close his eyes, and he fell asleep almost imdiately.
And he would regret that for a very, very long ti. Jepeto was a heavy sleeper. Unless soone shook him awake directly, he wouldn’t hear sothing quiet like footsteps leaving the room. He would regret it for a long ti, thinking he should have stayed up all night talking with Ren.
***
Jepeto’s snoring filled the small room.
Ren slowly pulled back the blanket and sat up. Through the window Jepeto had left open ca the loud trumpet blasts announcing the festival’s final performance. It sounded like everyone had gathered to dance together; cheerful laughter and shouted calls rose along with the music.
Ren lowered his legs off the bed.
Thunk.
“...?”
He had put his feet down near the head of the bed, but sothing caught against them with a dull bump.
What was that?
Crouching down, Ren examined the thing his foot had touched.
It was a bundle, stuffed fairly full.
“This isn’t mine.”
And it probably wasn’t his brother’s either. Was it Jepeto’s?
He had never seen a bundle this stuffed before.
Ah, co to think of it, when Luman had gone upstairs to bring down his things, he had been carrying sothing kind of like this.
“What the hell. He’s such an airhead. He left sothing this big behind.”
Pouting, Ren set Luman’s bundle carefully off to one side again.
What had he bought?
“Ah!”
Still crouched, Ren abruptly sprang to his feet as if sothing had just occurred to him. He started rummaging through his own bundle, then stopped and let out a relieved look.
“Haaah. Right... I already put it in.”
Maybe that was lucky, at least.
The gift he’d wanted to give Luman. He’d been too embarrassed to hand it to him directly, so he’d planned to tell him to check his luggage on the day he left.
He wouldn’t fail to find it, would he?
Ren pictured the small gift he had wrapped so carefully.
Would he like it?
If this was how it was going to turn out, I should’ve just given it to him directly. Then I could’ve seen his reaction.
No, if I’d done that, I probably wouldn’t have managed to give it to him at all! Why the hell did he have to sneak off at dawn? A belated resentnt rose in him.
I should’ve just not given it to him.
Thinking spitefully, Ren crouched down again.
He glared at Luman’s bundle like it had offended him, then stood back up.
“Did he say he left a note?”
To check what Jepeto had said, Ren went over to the table and picked up the paper.
[The finest thing about the Tempesto Festival is the roasted sparrow. But what I enjoyed most was walking through the festival streets with the Heroes and Ren, eating tanghulu together!]
Jepeto’s large, bold note caught his eye first. Oh, what the hell, Jepeto. Your handwriting’s actually good. Then again, he was good at sewing too, and good at embroidery, so maybe that made sense. He really did seem to be good at anything he did with his hands.
But the content was childish. Was roasted sparrow really that good? Maybe I should’ve tried at least one bite.
'Tanghulu...'
The more he read the note, the darker Ren’s expression grew. The tanghulu really had been delicious. The sugar had been sweet, the strawberries bright and fresh. It already felt like sothing from long ago—that mont when they had all stood there eating together and laughing. Every one of them had finished theirs without leaving a single bite.
Why was sothing as simple as eating together lingering in his chest like this, like so special mory?
No. I’m only getting weak because my heart’s weak right now.
Because they all left. Without even giving ti to prepare...
“Hoo...”
Letting out a long breath, Ren read the small line written beneath Jepeto’s note.
It was such a short sentence, but it took him much longer to read than Jepeto’s note. No—maybe “took strength” would be the better way to put it.
Plop.
A teardrop fell onto the page.
[The days we spent together were moving.]
“...Moving?”
Ren muttered blankly.
A mory rose up.
‘What are you curious about?’
‘Nothing much. Just... who you were close to, what the village was like, stuff like that? I’m a little curious about the life of soone who’s lived in one place for a long ti.’
‘There’s nothing moving about it.’
Luman’s reply to Ren’s grumbling had stayed lodged in his mind.
‘I’m just curious about an ordinary life. I’m not big on moving things. Life isn’t like that.’
The bonfire burning fiercely in the settled dark, the sparks flying into the air, those eyes that had looked so empty.
Ren read Luman’s note again.
[The days we spent together were moving.]
Even looking at it again, the words he had left behind didn’t change.
“You said life wasn’t like that...”
He’d been told to write down sothing fun, and instead he wrote, The days we spent together were moving.
“That’s too much.”
At last, the tears he had barely managed to hold back burst free.
His churning heart, his hurt, his sadness, the way he felt wounded and let down—he’d been hiding all of it so well, pretending he was fine. He hadn’t wavered. He had swallowed everything, pretended not to notice, and tried to just forget it.
Luman’s note ruined all of that.
Once the tears started spilling, they showed no sign of stopping.
The world was cruel.
Like always, Ren had no choice but to think the thing he had been trying so hard to forget: that whenever he let himself be happy without worrying, that happiness vanished like a mirage. He didn’t know who to bla, but he felt like soone had stolen his happiness from him.
No parting was ever all right.
Not the kind where soone silently slipped away.
Not the kind where they explained first and still left.
Both hurt the sa. Both left the sa raw pain in his chest.
“Hic... hhk...”
Ren cried as quietly as he could.
Luman. Brother...
He already missed him.
I shouldn’t have said that to my brother...
The anger that had lost its target turned into sorrow again and ca crashing back like a wave. That wave beat down on him rcilessly, as if trying to drag him into a deep sea of despair.
Even when Temar hurt Ren with harsh words, in the end it never remained as anger or resentnt.
It always settled into the form of emotion Ren knew best.
Longing. Regret.
Ren didn’t want to go through any more goodbyes.
He wasn’t strong enough to swallow anything sadder than this.
“Kgh— hhk...”
Maybe because he was so worked up, Ren’s breathing turned ragged. It was hard to breathe. But there was no one here who could help him right now. He didn’t even have the strength to call Jepeto. No sound would co out. Gasping for breath, Ren crawled forward on his knees. Scraping clumsily at the floor, groping around, he shoved his loosened-bandaged hand into his bundle and fumbled through it with difficulty. He finally managed to pull out a piece of sweet jelly that caught under his fingers and forced it into his throat.
He couldn’t even get through half ✪ Nоvеlіgһt ✪ (Official version) of it before spitting so out onto the floor, and only barely managed to choke down the rest, but it just sat there in his throat, painfully uncomfortable.
After coughing and gagging, Ren collapsed to the floor and wrapped his trembling body with his arms, curling up like a bug.
Thankfully, the dicine began to work.
After staying curled up for ten minutes or so, his breathing slowly returned to its normal rhythm.
'Let’s leave.'
I hate this now.
Even if he went to the capital, what would be waiting for Ren there would still be parting. The kind of parting he had spent his whole life enduring.
Ren wanted to break up with parting itself. He didn’t have the confidence to keep enduring it anymore.
He had thought mories would be enough, but they weren’t. Ren had been wrong. Good mories only made him more attached to life. To Ren, who had spent his ti trapped in the shack, passing the days with loneliness and waiting, the world had been too wide, too fun, too happy. He had only now co to understand how wide the world was, and the thought that he had to turn his back on all of it—that the ti to do that was drawing closer and closer—was unbearably painful. That too was another kind of suffering. It felt as if even the little bit of heart he had left, already worn away and crumbling, was being smashed to pieces.
It felt unfair.
Why was I... born with such a weak body?
Why did I get sick?
What did I do wrong?
A way of thinking he had never once fallen into through all his years of illness began to consu Ren.
All I did was wait for my brother, and I was happy whenever I saw him. Every mont was just precious and happy. Even while I got angry at him, it made happy that I could still wait for him, and it made happy that he ca back.
I thought that was enough.
I thought my whole world could be filled with just Temar alone.
But it wasn’t.
The world had been brighter and more colorful than that.
Bang—bang—!
The fireworks began. Yellow and red and white and blue burst across the sky, drawing patterns in green and violet as they sparkled.
Ren’s face was washed in all kinds of colors. He turned his head and looked out the window. The fireworks were more beautiful than he had imagined.
He had never known they could be this beautiful.
Just like people’s kindness and goodwill, good food, the fun of laughing and playing together.
'Would it have been better if I had never known? Would it hurt less if I hadn’t?'
Then maybe he wouldn’t have had to feel this attachnt, this sense of injustice. Maybe it would have been better to stay trapped inside small happiness.
But he couldn’t go back to not knowing.
Maybe it would’ve been better if I had just died quietly in that shack, Ren thought blankly.
The fireworks reflected in his green eyes.
What had beautifully embroidered the sky disappeared, leaving behind only pale smoke. Ren kept staring upward until even that smoke was gone.
'Let’s leave.'
With tears dripping steadily down his face, Ren packed his things.
Like Temar, who had coldly turned his back on him.
Like Luman, who had left without a word.
Let’s disappear.
Temar would be fine.
Luman would be fine too.
Temar would, as always, be the Hero who followed the king’s command for the sake of others.
And Luman would eventually find a family who would care for him.
Jepeto too had only been dragged here against his will, and he’d probably be happiest going back to the hotown he’d drunkenly talked about, living there and tending his herb fields.
Everyone had a place of their own, so it wouldn’t matter if Ren disappeared. If anything, that would probably help everyone return to where they belonged.
So let’s end the pleasant dream here.
Because every journey has to end soday.
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