Chapter 1: Fortune-Telling Livestream, Delivering Death Online
【Brain Storage】
【Crazy Dave is protecting your brain】
【Co in and claim your big sisters (and little sisters) in cheongsams, bodycon skirts, JK uniforms, black stockings, white stockings, and dresses! Claim them now!】
At the foot of Mount Longhu, Qingfeng Temple.
Today's sunset was as red as blood, carrying an indescribable desolation.
Zhang Xuanyao stuffed the last rotten wooden sign that read "Fortune-Telling and Character Analysis, Fair to Young and Old Alike" into the stove and struck a match.
The flas flared up, reflecting his face, which didn't look very serious at the mont.
He patted the dust off his hands and casually smoothed out his deep blue Daoist robe, which was faded from washing but still crisp.
"Patriarch, it's not that I'm not trying."
Zhang Xuanyao bowed three tis to the peeling clay statue in the shrine, but his tone wasn't very respectful; instead, it sounded like he was chatting with an old neighbor.
"These days, everyone believes in science, not taphysics. Our temple doesn't even have the money to buy incense and candles anymore, we're three months behind on the electricity bill, and the lady at the power bureau looks at like I'm a beggar. To regild your golden body, this Disciple has no choice but to sell my looks and try to make a living online."
The statue did not respond.
Zhang Xuanyao didn't mind. He turned around, pulled a second-hand smartphone out of his patched cloth bag, and set it up on the altar table, which was missing a leg and propped up entirely by bricks.
The phone screen lit up.
The livestreaming app launched.
Livestream Title: 【Qingfeng Temple's Closing Sale, the Final Divination. If it's inaccurate, it's free. If it's accurate, it'll cost you your life... Ah, wait, it'll cost you a Rocket.】
Zhang Xuanyao sat cross-legged on the futon, adjusting his posture to make himself look like an accomplished master, though his peach blossom eyes looked sowhat cynical no matter what.
The livestream had just started, and it was as empty as a haunted house.
After five minutes, the number of online viewers: 3.
A bullet comnt slowly drifted across the screen.
【Loves Braised Pork: Daoists are livestreaming these days? He's quite good-looking, but the title is a bit aggressive. Host, are you cosplaying?】
Zhang Xuanyao glanced at the screen and casually replied.
"This poor Daoist is Zhang Xuanyao, a legitimate external mber of Mount Longhu, and the sole successor of the thirty-eighth generation of Qingfeng Temple. This isn't cosplay; you can't buy fabric this good on Taobao for 9.9 yuan with free shipping."
【Loves Braised Pork: Pfft, scamr.】
Just as Zhang Xuanyao was about to snap back, a crisp "ding" suddenly rang out in his mind.
Right after, a chanical voice exploded in his head.
【Survival crisis detected for host. Host possesses excellent potential to be a charlatan. Heavenly Secret System successfully activated.】
【Binding Host: Zhang Xuanyao.】
【Distributing Newbie Gift Pack: Heavenly Eye (Elentary), Words Beco Law (Upgraded Version).】
【Heavenly Eye: Insight into Karma, foreseeing life and death. One glance to judge the past, one glance to determine the future.】
【Words Beco Law (Upgraded Version): In this world, your mouth is the rule. You can slightly modify the target's Luck, making bad Luck an art form.】
Zhang Xuanyao raised an eyebrow, his movents pausing.
System?
These days, even unemployed Daoists get re-employnt subsidies?
Before he could study how to use the System, the livestream room suddenly beca lively.
It wasn't because of a sudden surge in popularity, but because soone had sent a gift.
The special effect of a gleaming virtual sports car dominated the entire screen.
Right after, a connection request popped up.
User ID: 【Heng City Racing King】.
Without thinking much, Zhang Xuanyao tapped his finger and connected.
The screen split in two.
In the right half of the screen, the deafening roar of an engine instantly drowned out the chirping of insects and birds on Zhang Xuanyao's side.
The cara shook violently, with rapidly receding streetlights and a blurry night view in the background. The needle on the dashboard was pinned tightly at the 180 mark.
A young man with dyed yellow hair and sunglasses roared at the cara over the extre wind noise.
"Hey! You ox-nose Daoist! See this? What is this? A ferrari! You get it? I just got it! Looking at your miserable state, you've probably never seen such a nice car in your life, have you?"
Due to the sports car and the connection, the number of viewers in the livestream instantly jumped to over fifty.
【Holy crap, it's Young Master Lin! That famous rich second-generation heir from Heng City!】
【This speed... is way too fast, isn't it? Does he want to die?】
【Young Master Lin is out tearing up the streets again? This Daoist is quite lucky to have hitched a ride with a big shot.】
Zhang Xuanyao looked at the yellow-haired youth on the screen and frowned slightly.
Not because of the other party's arrogance, but because the mont the connection went through, his eyes felt a wave of warmth.
His vision changed.
Above the yellow-haired rich kid's head, there were no golden auspicious clouds, but a thick, inseparable mass of black Qi.
Within the black Qi, a row of crimson numbers was rapidly ticking down like a death countdown.
【Death Countdown: 00:00:45】
【Cause of Death: Car accident. Multiple comminuted fractures, killed on the spot.】
Zhang Xuanyao blinked, but the words remained clearly visible.
It seed this System wasn't a cheap knockoff; it was the real deal.
"Hey! Say sothing! Are you mute?"
The yellow-haired Young Master Lin shouted at his phone while weaving crazily through traffic with one hand on the steering wheel.
"I heard you can tell fortunes? Co on, tell this young master's fortune. Can I break the record for the Ring Road tonight? If you get it wrong, I'll have soone tear down your crappy temple!"
Zhang Xuanyao leaned back slightly against the leg of the altar table. The laziness on his face receded a bit, replaced by a calm gaze as if looking at a dead man.
"This poor Daoist advises you not to break any records."
Zhang Xuanyao's voice wasn't loud, but it clearly cut through the wind noise on the other side: "Stop the car. You're going to die."
The livestream room fell dead silent for a second, and then the bullet comnts exploded.
【Holy crap, this host is so brave? He dares to curse Young Master Lin?】
【Is he risking his life just for clout? Young Master Lin has a terrible temper!】
【Is this a script? This has to be scripted!】
Young Master Lin obviously heard it too. He slamd his hand on the steering wheel, causing the car to swerve violently, almost scraping the guardrail next to him.
"Fuck! What did you say, you damn scamr? Cursing to die? Believe it or not, I'll crawl through the internet cables and kill you!"
Young Master Lin cursed loudly, pressing the accelerator even deeper.
"My driving skills are number one in the world! Die? Would Yama even dare to claim ?"
Zhang Xuanyao sighed and shook his head.
【The crimson numbers had already ticked down to 【00:00:30】.】
"I'm not cursing you; I'm informing you."
Zhang Xuanyao held up three fingers, his tone as casual as if he were discussing what to have for dinner.
"Stop racing. Turn left at the intersection ahead, there is a muck truck fully loaded with waste running a red light. At your current speed, you won't be able to brake."
"You have thirty seconds of lifespan left."
"If you let go of the gas pedal right now and steer right into the green belt, you'll break two legs at most, but you'll still have an intact corpse... No, wait, you'll still have a breath of life left."
Hearing this, Young Master Lin laughed even more wildly, his facial muscles twitching.
"Turn left? A muck truck? You're fucking making things up with a straight face! I've driven this road eight hundred tis, where would a muck truck co from at this hour! Fine, just you wait. Once I pass this intersection, I'll... Holy shit!"
Before he could finish his sentence, the road conditions ahead changed.
At the end of the originally straight and wide avenue, an intersection appeared in his field of vision.
Just as Zhang Xuanyao said, Young Master Lin was driving too fast and happened to hit the exact mont the green light turned red. But instead of slowing down, he wanted to beat the last second.
However.
Out of the darkness on the left, two blinding high beams pierced the night sky like two sharp swords.
A massive red heavy truck, fully loaded with construction waste, roared out like an out-of-control steel beast.
It was a muck truck.
It was indeed running a red light.
The viewers in the livestream room only saw a flash of blinding white light on the screen, followed by Young Master Lin's face, which instantly contorted in absolute terror.
"Ahhh—!!!"
Young Master Lin's scream was even more ear-piercing than the screeching of tires against the pavent.
【00:00:03】
Zhang Xuanyao looked at the countdown, tapped his finger lightly on the table, and activated 【Words Beco Law (Upgraded Version)】.
"Don't let the phone break, don't let the signal cut out."
If the screen went black, the viewers would think it was just special effects.
Boom—!!!
A massive boom resounded, loud enough to shatter eardrums even through the screen.
It was the most tragic sound of clashing tal in this world.
Following that was the crisp sound of shattering glass, the heavy thuds of rolling objects, and finally, the screech of twisting steel.
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