Razeal narrowed his eyes slightly as he looked at Maria, his gaze steady but now carrying a sharper edge, not anger exactly, but a quiet scrutiny, as if he was trying to dissect her intentions rather than react to them, because what she had just said.. what she was asking of him didn’t align with anything logical in his mind, and for a brief mont, a thought actually crossed him, absurd yet not entirely dismissible, Is she... a masochist or sothing? because the way she was pushing him, the way she was deliberately provoking him, it felt less like guilt and more like she was trying to force a reaction out of him, to drag him into sothing he didn’t even want to step into? Or just want to get hurt by him as to fulfill whatever her guilt is..
"See? You can’t," Maria suddenly chuckled softly, her lips curving faintly as she observed his stillness, her eyes carrying a strange mix of certainty and resignation, as if his lack of movent had already proven her point, "I knew it... you wouldn’t do anything." Her tone wasn’t mocking, not really, but it carried that quiet confidence that ca from believing she understood him completely.
"MARIAAA STOPPPP!!" Sofia’s voice cut through the mont sharply, her tone serious now, far more forceful than before as she stepped slightly forward, her brows furrowed, concern clearly written across her face because she could feel it the tension shifting, the conversation going sowhere it shouldn’t.
But before she could intervene further, Razeal raised a hand slightly and spoke calmly..
"No... let handle her." His voice wasn’t loud, but it carried enough to make Sofia pause, and then, without waiting, he walked forward, his movents unhurried, controlled, reaching to the side to grab a chair and dragging it across the floor with a soft scraping sound before placing it directly in front of Maria, just a few feet away from her, and then he sat down, facing her directly, their positions now equal, eye to eye, not standing over her, not looking down at her just... sitting across from her like this was a conversation, not a confrontation.
Sofia watched closely, her body still tense, her mind racing with possibilities, worried that he might snap, might react in a way that would only worsen everything, but as she saw him simply sit down instead of acting out, a small portion of that tension eased, though not completely, because she still didn’t know where this was going.
Maria, anwhile, didn’t move, didn’t flinch, she simply watched him, her gaze steady, waiting, as if she was expecting sothing specific, so kind of reaction that would validate everything she had just said.
Razeal leaned back slightly in his chair, one arm resting casually as he looked at her, his expression calm, almost indifferent again, and then he spoke..
"You’re wrong." The words ca out quietly, but firmly, and Maria blinked, clearly confused now, because that wasn’t the response she had expected at all..
"What?" she asked, genuinely taken off guard, her brows knitting slightly as she tried to follow where he was going with this, while he leaned back a little more into the chair, one arm resting loosely, his expression calm, almost faintly amused..
"On everything," he continued, a small, quiet chuckle escaping him, "Like... I can’t hurt you? Because I’m ’soft’... ’kind’... all that stuff you just said?" his tone carried a subtle disbelief, not harsh, but clearly rejecting her entire premise,..
And Maria imdiately shook her head, letting out another small laugh, though this one carried a bit more insistence, "You can’t twist it," she replied, her voice still soft but firm, "It’s all true... it’s right in front of you... no matter how much you try to deny it, that’s just how you are... you just can’t," and there was no hesitation in her words, no doubt she wasn’t guessing, she believed it completely..
Razeal tilted his head slightly at that, studying her for a mont before speaking again, "I’d argue otherwise," he said calmly, then leaned forward just a fraction, his gaze sharpening again..
"How about you tell sothing instead... why should I even kill you? Or hurt you in the first place?"
And that question made Maria pause not because she didn’t have an answer, but because she thought she already gave one, so she let out a soft, almost incredulous chuckle,
"Hah...? I just explained that to you," she replied, as if it was obvious..
but he shook his head lightly.. "Yeah... you did," he admitted, his tone still nonchalant, "But I didn’t hear a single reason in that entire explanation that actually justifies it," and that was where his expression shifted slightly not emotional, not angry, just... clear..
"Like... let give you an example," he continued, his voice steady, almost conversational now, "You’re here, right? And suddenly Sofia.. " he gestured lightly toward her without even looking, "cos over and tries to kill . I’m too weak to resist. You’re standing there. You don’t help. For whatever reason," he added casually, as if it didn’t even matter why, "And sohow... I survive. Barely. I escape. But I lose sothing.. Like lets say an arm, a leg or sothing whatever permanently.. I’m injured for life," he paused just long enough for the scenario to settle, then looked directly into her eyes again..
"Now tell ... do you deserve punishnt for that?" his tone remained calm, almost analytical, "Ethically? Legally? Or in any way at all?" and without waiting for her to answer, he continued..
"Why.. Would I even waste my ti or energy coming after you just because you didn’t help ?" a faint scoff left him, though it wasn’t mocking it was dismissive, "That sounds stupid," he said plainly, "Like... yeah, going after Sofia makes sense she’s the one who attacked ," his gaze flickered briefly toward Sofia before returning to Maria, "But you?" he tilted his head slightly, "You didn’t do anything," and that was the point he emphasized, his voice lowering just a fraction,
"So why should I care about punishing you?" there was no hostility in his words, just logic, cold and straightforward, "You’re guilty that you didn’t help... sure," he added with a slight shrug, "That’s your own feeling," his eyes held hers steadily..
"But why are you putting that on ?" and that question lingered, heavy but not aggressive, "Why are you expecting to hurt you... or kill you... for sothing that was never even my expectation from you in the first place?" he leaned back again slightly, his posture relaxing once more..
"Like... I don’t expect help from a bystander," he said simply, "So why would I punish one?" and his gaze didn’t waver from her face as he finished, "Tell ... why should I?"
"But I am not... so bystander...!" Maria’s voice cracked sharply as she leaned forward in her chair, her fingers curling tightly into the fabric of her dress as if trying to hold herself together through sheer force, her breathing uneven, her eyes burning with intensity as they locked onto Razeal’s..
"...I am Maria... I owe you my life...!" The words ca out strained, dragged through clenched teeth as emotion bled into every syllable, "I had every reason... every responsibility to help you... I should have been there... I should have stood with you... but I didn’t...!" Her shoulders trembled visibly now, her body shaking not just from weakness but from the overwhelming surge of guilt she was no longer able to contain..
"And that gives you the right... the absolute and every right... to punish ... you deserved that from ... so you should take it...!" There was sothing almost desperate in her tone now, sothing unsteady, as if she was trying to force a truth into existence simply because she needed it to be real.
Razeal watched her quietly through all of it, his expression unchanged, his gaze steady, and instead of reacting with frustration or anger, he simply let out a faint, almost amused smile, not mocking, but calm, controlled, as if he was watching soone struggle with a conclusion that didn’t align with reality.
"Alright..." he said slowly, his tone light yet deliberate, "let’s say in that position now.. it wasn’t ... let’s say it was your mother instead." His voice remained even, asured, as he adjusted his posture slightly in the chair, still facing her directly, "Your mother is being attacked... she’s in danger... and you’re there... but this ti... you don’t help." He tilted his head slightly..
"Maybe you were scared... maybe confused... maybe you hesitated... or whatever reason.. doesn’t matter."
"Now tell ... when you go back ho... is your mother going to kill you? Torture you? Ask you why you didn’t help and then punish you like that?" His gaze didn’t waver, "Or are you going to walk up to her and say.. ’Why aren’t you killing ? Why aren’t you hurting ?’ His lips curved faintly again, "And if she doesn’t... will you call her soft? Kind? Weak?" He leaned back slightly, his voice calm but firm..
"She might be disappointed... she might distance herself... she might even be hurt... but what you’re asking from right now..." He shook his head slowly, "...is not sothing anyone would do." His eyes held hers steadily..
"You’re being unreasonable," he concluded simply, giving a small nod as if stating a fact rather than accusing her.
For a mont
Maria said nothing.
Her lips parted slightly, her eyes flickering as his words settled in, but even then... even then, sothing in her refused to accept it.
Her head shook.
Slowly at first.
Then harder.
"No..." she muttered under her breath, her voice low, rejecting, "No... it’s different..." Her head moved more firmly now, more violently, "It’s not the sa...!"
Razeal straightened slightly from his chair.
"How is it different?" he asked imdiately, his tone calm but now more direct, as if pressing her to confront it, "Explain it to ."
And then he stood.
The chair scraped lightly behind him as he stepped forward, closing the already small distance between them until he was right in front of her, leaning slightly toward her, his face now close enough that she could clearly see every detail in his expression calm, focused... waiting.
"Explain it," he repeated softly, a faint smile still resting on his lips.
And sothing in her snapped.
"BECAUSE IT’S JUST NOT!!"
Her voice exploded out of her, raw, unfiltered, completely breaking through whatever fragile control she had been holding onto, "Why can’t you just understand it?!" Her body trembled now, not subtly anymore, but visibly, uncontrollably, "Why are you like this?!" Her voice cracked, but she didn’t stop, "This isn’t the sa thinggg!!"
Her eyes locked onto his, wide, desperate, searching for sothing anything.
"You saved my life...!" she yelled, her voice shaking violently now, "You almost died for ...!" Her chest rose sharply as she struggled to breathe between her own words..
"Do you not hate for not helping you?!" Her voice dropped for a split second, only to rise again, "Yes.. if it was just like what you said... my mother wouldn’t kill ... That be right and logical expected outco..!"
Her lips trembled.
"But it wasn’t...!"
Her voice dropped lower now, but sohow even heavier.
"I know..." she whispered, her eyes trembling as she stared into his, "If it was &’ that situation... if I had done that to her... after everything... you had done for .. Which be for her.." Her throat tightened. "She would kill .. Without hesitation.. " A faint, broken breath escaped her. "Anyone would..."
Her gaze didn’t leave his.
"Because I would have owed her my life..."
Silence lasted only a second.
Then
Her voice rose again.
"But you... you don’t...!"
And that
That was what broke her.
"And i can’t accept that...!" she shouted, her entire body shaking now, "I want to see it...!" Her voice cracked hard, her emotions spilling over completely..
"I want to see hate in your eyes when you look at ... Deeeep Fucking HATEEEE!!" Tears began spilling freely now, no longer held back, "I want you to hurt ...!" Her words ca faster, more chaotic, more desperate, "Torture ... Kill ...!"
Her voice rose into a scream.
"KILL !!"
The words echoed, heavy and suffocating.
"I want you to kill ... then spit on my grave... And then hateee e for lifeee..!" she continued, her voice breaking apart as she forced the words out, "Take all your anger... all your hate EVERYTHING... put it on ...!" Her breathing turned erratic, almost gasping now, "This is your revenge... you should take it...!"
She was shaking uncontrollably now.
Her entire body.
Her voice.
Her breath.
Everything.
And Razeal.. Didn’t move.
Didn’t interrupt. He just stood there, looking down at her silently..
As she broke apart right in front of him.
"WHY...?!" she scread again, her voice cracking completely now, "Why can’t I see hate in your eyes when you look at ...?!" Her tears blurred her vision, but she didn’t look away, "Where is it...?!" Her voice trembled violently, "Where are you fucking hiding it...?!"
Her hands clenched tighter.
"Take it out on ...!" she cried, her voice dropping into sothing more broken now, "I saw it...!" Her breathing stuttered, "You even took it out on your mother...!" Her eyes widened slightly, desperation flooding through them, "At least you let it out...!"
Her voice broke again.
"But why not ...?"
The question ca out quieter.
More fragile.
"I deserve it..." she whispered.
"Give it to ..."
And then
She scread again.
"TAKE IT OUT!!"
Her voice tore through the room, raw and desperate, her throat straining under the force of it as tears stread uncontrollably down her face.
Then
Her strength collapsed.
"Just... why...?" she whispered weakly now, her voice barely holding together, "Why can’t you hate ...?" Her head shook slowly, helplessly, "How... how can you not hate for not doing anything for you...?" Her breath hitched again, uneven, broken, "I... I said I’m sorry... I hate myself for it..."
Her voice faded into sothing fragile.
"So how... how can you not...?"
And finally
She broke completely.
Her shoulders trembled as quiet sobs replaced the screams, her head shaking weakly as if trying to understand sothing her mind simply couldn’t process.
"How could I be so stupid...?" she whispered.
"How... could you not hate ...?"
And through all of it..
Razeal stood there silently .
Looking at her.. Not with anger or hatred. But with sothing she couldn’t understand.
Finally.. after so seconds
"Well... that’s probably because..." Razeal’s voice ca out quieter this ti, cutting through the remnants of Maria’s breakdown with an unexpected calmness, "...I don’t have any mories of what actually happened between us." His gaze remained fixed on her as he said it, not cold, not defensive just matter-of-fact, as if he was finally stating sothing that, to him, explained everything clearly, sothing that should have been obvious from the start.
And suddenly hearing this Maria just froze.. Completely.
Mid-breath. Mid-motion. Mid-everything.
Her sobs stopped as if soone had abruptly silenced them. Her trembling stilled. Even the tears that had been falling monts ago seed to lose montum, hanging at the edges of her lashes as she slowly, almost chanically, lifted her head to look at him.
Confusion filled her eyes.
Not mild confusion.
But the kind that cos when reality itself suddenly doesn’t align with what you believed with absolute certainty.
"What...?" she didn’t say it aloud.. but it was there, written clearly across her expression.
Razeal saw it.
And sighed.
A long, quiet exhale escaped him as he slowly shook his head, almost as if this conversation had finally reached the point where sothing fundantal needed to be clarified. He straightened his posture slightly, then stepped back, returning to his chair and sitting down again, leaning into it with a controlled ease, as if grounding himself before continuing.
Maria didn’t move.
She just stared at him.. Blankly.
Trying to process.
Trying to understand what he had just said..
Razeal looked back at her, then spoke again, his tone steady, direct, leaving no room for misinterpretation.
"My mories... of whatever ti I had with you..." he paused briefly, as if choosing his words carefully, "...they were all deleted. By risa Verlan." His gaze didn’t waver from hers as he said it, watching the effect it had on her. "The first ti I ever saw you... from my perspective... was in the academy."
Silence.
Heavy and Absolute.
"So..." he added, giving a small shrug, spreading his hands slightly in a gesture that carried quiet finality, "...there’s not really any reason for to hate you that much." His tone remained calm, almost detached, but not uncaring. "Except for whatever small things happened between us recently." A faint pause. "And I think we already dealt with those."
He leaned back slightly in his chair, his expression unchanged.
"I’m not petty enough to kill soone over that.. "
And with that..
He finished.
"So yeah.. That’s all there is to it."
The words settled.
And sothing inside Maria.. Collapsed.
She didn’t react imdiately. Didn’t speak.
Didn’t even blink.
She just... stared at him.
And slowly
Very slowly
Understanding began to form.
Not as relief.
Not as clarity.. But as sothing far heavier.
Of course.. The realization hit her like a silent wave, washing through everything she had just said, everything she had felt, everything she had believed he should feel.
Of course he doesn’t hate ...
Because he doesn’t even rember... or know
Her lips parted slightly, but no words ca out. Her mind replayed everything her guilt, her apology, her desperation for punishnt, her belief that she had wronged him beyond forgiveness and one by one, those things lost their foundation.
Because from his perspective...
None of it existed.
He didn’t know.
He didn’t rember.
He didn’t feel what he should feel.
And that..
That was the most crushing part.
Her tears stopped completely.
Not because she was okay.
But because sothing deeper had taken over.
Shock?
Stillness?
A kind of hollow quiet?
She doesn’t know.. She just stared at him blankly.. As if her mind had gone sowhere far away trying to piece this together.
"Maria...?" Sofia’s voice ca softly from the side, laced with concern as she noticed the sudden, unnatural shift in her state. Her hand gently ca to rest on Maria’s shoulder, light, careful, as if afraid she might break under even the smallest pressure.
But Maria didn’t react.
Didn’t even acknowledge her.
She remained still her fixed on Razeal. As if the world around her had faded out.
Sofia’s concern deepened instantly. Sothing was wrong.
This wasn’t calm.
This was worse.
Razeal noticed it too.
His brows furrowed slightly as he looked at her, the complete stillness, the absence of reaction it wasn’t normal. For soone who had just been screaming, crying, breaking apart monts ago, this silence felt... off.
Too sudden and too empty.
He opened his mouth slightly, about to say sothing
But before he could
Maria finally spoke. Her voice was soft. Too soft. And slowly, a faint smile ford on her lips not one of happiness, not one of relief, but sothing far more complex, sothing that carried understanding... and sothing else buried beneath it. She nodded lightly, her gaze still fixed on Razeal..
"That makes sense..." Her hands, which had been trembling violently before, now rested still in her lap, completely steady, as if the tremors had been cut off entirely, and she slowly repositioned them, placing both palms flat on her knees, her posture straightening, becoming composed, controlled, almost... refined, like she had suddenly regained complete control over herself. From the outside, she looked calm. Too calm. But in her eyes deep within them.. there was sothing else. Sothing heavy. Sothing painful. A depth of sadness so intense it didn’t need expression anymore. And that... was what made it worse.
"Maybe..." she whispered softly, almost to herself, "...that’s for the best."
Razeal caught the words, his brows furrowing slightly as he leaned forward just a bit, "Hmm?" His voice was low, curious..
"What do you an by that?"
But Maria didn’t responded anything to that..
And as he looked at her, sothing about her expression made it clear those words weren’t simple.. It was almost as if... she was saying it was better that he didn’t rember.
Better that he didn’t know. Better that he was free from whatever past they had shared. As if those mories... were sothing he shouldn’t have. As if rembering them would only bring him pain.. Like its just best that he doesn’t rember anything..
"Are you... alright?" Razeal asked, his voice quieter now, not pressing, not forceful just careful, as he watched her closely, trying to read sothing in her face that no longer gave anything away easily, and Maria, who only monts ago had been completely shattered, broken open in front of him, now simply smiled softly, almost gently, but that smile didn’t reach her eyes..
"I?" she echoed faintly, tilting her head just a little, as if the question itself was distant, almost irrelevant to her current state, and instead of answering him directly, she let out a small breath and continued, "I understand now... why you didn’t hate ... or kill ..." her voice carried no accusation anymore, no desperation just a quiet acceptance that felt heavier than anything she had said before..
"i understand..." she paused, her gaze lowering just slightly before lifting again to et his eyes, "...it’s just... sad... I don’t know..." and that was all she gave him, no elaboration, no explanation, just that incomplete, hollow conclusion that hung in the air, and before he could press further, she shifted the conversation entirely, as if deliberately stepping away from her own emotional state..
"Well... at least that answers one question..." she said calmly, her tone composed in a way that felt unnatural given everything that had just happened, "So how about we move to another one?" her eyes locked onto his again, steady, almost too steady..
"Tell this... why didn’t you kill the ones who are actually responsible for all of this?" there was no anger in her voice just logic, quiet and sharp, "Hurting a bystander... yes, that’s stupid... petty... I agree with you," she nodded faintly, acknowledging his earlier reasoning..
"But then what about the ones who actually did it?" her head tilted slightly again, her gaze unwavering, "Why not kill them?" and there it was the shift, the redirection, the question that cut deeper than anything she had asked before..
"Because if we’re talking about my assumptions..." she added calmly, "...then I still think I’m right," and with that, the room fell into silence again, but this silence was different not heavy with chaos, not trembling with emotion, but eerily still, almost unnatural, because Maria herself had changed too suddenly, too completely..
And Razeal felt it imdiately, the contrast between the girl who had been screaming, crying, begging to be punished just monts ago and the one now sitting in front of him, composed, calm, controlled it didn’t feel like recovery, it felt like suppression, like sothing had gone too deep and snapped into place in a way that wasn’t healthy..
And Sofia noticed it too, standing slightly behind and to the side, her eyes narrowing faintly as she observed Maria’s posture, her breathing, the way her hands now rested still on her knees without even a tremor...
She’s definitely not alright... Sofia thought instantly, her instincts screaming at her that this kind of calm wasn’t normal or safe? This looks bad... and still sothing held her back, sothing told her this wasn’t the mont to interrupt, not the mont to force anything onto Maria, because whatever this was... it needed to play out, at least for now, and at the sa ti her thoughts shifted briefly to Razeal, her brows tightening as she processed what he had just revealed.. his mories got destroyed?
Just.. What kind of mother does that...? the thought burned in her mind, her perception of that woman dropping even further than it already had, How much has she done to him...? What else has she taken and did to him that she doesn’t know or maybe even he doesn’t...? her jaw clenched faintly, a quiet promise forming inside her that she would not let that go unanswered, that soday, sohow, she would make that woman pay for what she had done to him, but she pushed that aside for now, refocusing on the present, on the fragile situation unfolding in front of her..
While Razeal himself hesitated for a brief mont, his first instinct being to circle back, to ask Maria again if she was truly okay, maybe offer her water, give her tizz but when he looked into her eyes again, he understood, not fully, but enough to know she didn’t want to go back there right now, didn’t want to touch that subject again, and for once, he respected that boundary without question, deciding instead to follow her lead, to answer the question she had just thrown at him, and as he leaned back into his chair slightly, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, his expression shifting into sothing more contemplative, he let out a small breath..
"Well... that question..." he began slowly, his tone returning to that analytical calm he often carried, "...is actually a very interesting one," a faint, almost ironic smile touched his lips..
"Believe it or not... I’ve been asking myself that sa thing for a long ti." His lips curved faintly not in amusent, but in self-reflection, "...almost every mont after I gained so power." His eyes narrowed slightly as he spoke, "...why can’t I kill them?" There was no denial in his voice. No deflection. Just honesty.
"What’s stopping ?" He paused, exhaling lightly, "...for a long ti, I thought it was weakness." His gaze flickered briefly, "...that I was soft... just like you said." He shrugged faintly..
"That I just couldn’t do it." And then, slowly, sothing shifted in his expression not dramatic, but subtle, as if he had reached a conclusion he was finally ready to say out loud.
"But..." he continued, leaning back further into the chair, his posture relaxing slightly as he crossed one leg over the other, "...so ti ago..." His voice lowered just a bit, gaining a quiet weight, "...I found the answer." He looked directly at Maria again, his eyes steady, "As...why I can’t kill them." A small pause. "...why I keep finding reasons not to." And then, almost faintly, he added..
"And now... I have it." His fingers tapped lightly against the armrest of the chair, his tone calm, almost reflective, "...it’s... actually kind of interesting."
——
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