I Just Wanted a Quiet Life... So Why Am I an Uma Musume Trainer?! Chapter 358 357 The Triple Threat

Hachiman's Perspective

"Alright, let's hear it," I sighed, crossing my arms. "What do you want? And for the record, if this is about the whole 'Big Brother' nickna thing, the answer is a hard no."

"Regarding that, I have no intention of giving up just yet," jiro Ardan replied with a serene, unshakeable smile. "But today, I'm here on a different matter. Dear Brother, would you be so kind as to spare a mont of your ti?"

"And she's already using it... Fine, whatever. I'm too tired to argue semantics. What is it?"

"The truth is, I've decided to host a tea party for my close friends."

"Your friends... you an Chiyono-oh and Yaeno?"

"Exactly. Ten points for intuition," Ardan said, her eyes twinkling. "And because of that, I have a specific request for you."

"The leap in logic from 'I'm having tea' to 'I need sothing from you' is frankly staggering, but fine. Lay it on ."

"Rice Shower ntioned it to once," Ardan began, leaning in slightly. "She said you were quite the enthusiast when it cos to the culinary arts."

I felt a cold shiver run down my spine. "...I don't like where this is going. You aren't about to ask to bake sothing, are you?"

"My, how did you guess?"

Good grief. What is this socialite thinking? Why on earth do I have to be the one to do it? I've got a Triple Crown season to prepare Rice for; I'm a busy man.

"Look, no. Why ? Go buy sothing from the campus store or a high-end bakery. Why go through the trouble of making do it?"

"Because," she countered, her smile widening in a way that felt vaguely predatory, "I want the experience to be truly authentic."

"That literally ans nothing to ."

"Dear Brother... please?"

"No. I might be able to cook a al, but I don't do—"

"—I heard from McQueen-san that you're quite skilled at making macarons and low-calorie cookies," Ardan interjected, effectively cutting the floor out from under .

Damn you, McQueen. Is there no such thing as client-trainer confidentiality in the jiro household?

"Fufu. I won't let you escape that easily," Ardan teased. "But don't worry. I have no intention of leaving you out of the festivities."

"I never said I wanted to join! Don't go making weird assumptions!"

In the end, despite a litany of perfectly rational excuses, I found myself checkmated. Ardan had systematically blocked every exit route until I was forced to accept her 'request'—which, let's be honest, was basically extortion. Honestly, these pampered young ladies... though, I suppose she's still easier to deal with than McQueen, who still tries to bribe/threaten into giving her extra sweets.

"I'm very much looking forward to your creations, Brother," Ardan said.

"Yeah, yeah. Just keep your expectations low."

"Ardan-san? And is that the Elder Brother?" A sharp, disciplined voice called out. "It's rare to see you two together."

Yaeno Muteki approached us, her posture as straight as a katana.

"Ah, Yaeno-san. Good afternoon," Ardan greeted.

"I'm beginning to think I should just give up on the na thing entirely," I muttered to myself.

"By the way, Elder Brother," Yaeno said, turning her intense focus toward . "Your trainee, Rice Shower-san, is approaching her Classic season soon, isn't she? I imagine your blood is boiling with anticipation?"

"Well, it's definitely the ti for a Trainer to show what they're made of," I replied. "But wait—you're in the Ritto dorms, right? Why are you so well-inford about a Miho girl like Rice?"

"In my dorm, we have Mihono Bourbon, who won the Asahi Hai Futurity Stakes, as well as Machikane Tannhauser. They are constant topics of conversation. Especially this season... people are already calling it the battle of 'Bourbon of the West' vs. 'Rice of the East.'"

"Where did that co from?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's based on the Academy's layout," Ardan explained. "The Ritto dorms are to the west of the main campus, and the Miho dorms are to the east. It's a poetic way of framing the rivalry, don't you think?"

"I guess people will find a nickna for anything..."

Though, if those two really do end up being as dominant as the rumors suggest, I suppose a little grandstanding is inevitable.

"But why are you here during such a crucial ti, Elder Brother?" Yaeno asked, her brow furrowing. "Should you not be overseeing Rice Shower-san's training?"

"It's a rest day. She's at a shrine with her friends. As for why I'm here... I was just handed a 'request' by this lady next to . Or was it a direct order?"

"Brother, I would never dream of giving you orders," Ardan said, looking the picture of innocence.

Her mouth says 'request,' but her eyes say 'labor camp,' I thought.

"I'm being conscripted to provide the snacks for your little tea party," I explained. "The only saving grace is that it's not happening today."

Yaeno's eyes widened. "What?! Is that so?! I cannot allow you to take on such a burden alone! Though I am but a novice in the dostic arts, I, Yaeno Muteki, shall provide my assistance!"

"Wait, what? No, it's fine. I appreciate the sentint, but you shouldn't jump into things you aren't familiar with."

"All the more reason to do it!" she declared, her spirit practically catching fire. "I believe this discipline is exactly what I need! Elder Brother, I beg of you—instruct !"

"Fine, fine. But today is about the tea party. I'll teach you so other ti, okay?"

"Understood!"

She's a bit stiff, but at least she listens. If she were the type to completely ignore logic and—actually, let's not finish that thought.

"Oh! Ardan-san, Yaeno-san... and Big Brother! Hello~♪"

"I swear, hearing anyone but Rice call that feels like a glitch in the universe," I sighed as Sakura Chiyono-oh joined the group.

"Brother, would you like to call you—" Ardan started.

"—Not a chance," I cut her off.

"Fufu. Just a joke."

"Well, that's the three of you," I noted. "Funny how things work out."

"It truly is," Yaeno agreed.

"It's just as they say!" Chiyono-oh chirped, clasping her hands together. "When the Brother is near, the Martial Arts, the Dance, and the Cherry Blossoms shall gather!"

I stared at her. "...I have no idea what that ans."

"Another one of your beautifully incomprehensible taphors, Chiyono-oh-san," Yaeno remarked.

"Eh?! You don't get it?! I thought that was a really clear way to summarize the situation!"

"If that was clear, then I'm a marathon runner," I muttered.

"But why is Big Brother with you two?" Chiyo asked.

"Round three of the explanation, here we go..." I groaned, but Yaeno stepped in to explain the situation for .

"Big Brother! I'll help too!" Chiyono-oh exclaid. "I might not look it, but I'm actually quite good at making traditional Japanese sweets!"

"I told Yaeno this already, but since this is your tea party, you aren't allowed to help with the prep. Maybe next ti."

"Oh..." Her shoulders slumped, and she looked like a dejected puppy.

"Look, I appreciate the offer," I said, and without really thinking about it, I reached out and gave her a quick, consoling pat on the head. "I'll take the thought as a win."

"っ!!" Her face lit up instantly. "Ehehe~ I understand!"

...Why is she suddenly in such a good mood?

"Brother," Ardan said, stepping closer, her voice dropping to a velvety whisper. "I would like one of those as well."

"Huh? A what?"

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHWAWAWAWAWA!!" Yaeno suddenly let out a strangled noise, her face turning a deep shade of crimson as she began to vibrate on the spot.

"Yaeno?!"

This is bad. One girl is glowing with mysterious happiness, one is demanding headpats, and the third has apparently suffered a total system collapse. It's official. This place is a madhouse.

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