“So, would you be willing to tell this old monk?”
“Tell you what?”
“About the hell within you.”
“...”
Gakjeong’s gaze neither urged nor interrogated. He simply looked at quietly.
But perhaps that made it all the more intense—like he could see straight into my soul, creating a strange tension.
My own personal hell.
I know it well.
Even now, if I push the Raging Wave Death-Stealing Art to its peak, the scenes of that day co rushing back.
The scent of burning flesh brushing my nose. The flickering crimson flas of destruction. And blood—redder and thicker than fire.
The words I couldn’t say. The vow I made before that single flower blooming from death.
Each ti I fight for real, each ti I grasp that sense of Divine Sword Unity, I am reminded of it.
Of course, it no longer tornts as it once did.
When I defeated the Black Sky Sword Emperor, the lingering regrets from before regression found so closure.
The inner demon no longer festers within . The killing intent from the past doesn’t swell to unbearable levels anymore.
But that doesn’t an I’ve forgotten everything and only bliss remains.
It’s simply sothing that happened in the past, not sothing that never happened at all.
The regrets and mistakes of my past still loom large behind .
And that’s why—even though it’s in the past—for , it’s still a sensitive and significant subject.
Not sothing I can easily reveal to soone I’ve only t a handful of tis. And yet...
Gakjeong had already revealed his own scars to —his suffering and sha.
Judging from Jeonghyeon’s reaction, even he, as Gakjeong’s disciple, hadn’t known.
It’s surprisingly difficult to ignore soone who approaches you with sincerity.
Above all, this is all rooted in Gakjeong’s desire to understand the nature of the Heaven-Slaughter Star, and to prevent others from suffering the sa tragic fate.
He’s the one who discovered the appearance cycle of the Heaven-Slaughter Star. If he can even develop a thod to control its killing intent...
Then a few years from now, when the disaster at Jeomchang Sect strikes, the damage might be minimized.
And if I beco that influential among the orthodox Murim sects, the proposal to join hands with the Black Lotus Sect against the Demonic Cult might gain real montum.
Having thought that far, I finally opened my mouth.
“I—”
Thump!
The mont I tried to speak the first word, a heavy shockwave rippled from around my heart, and my voice was cut off against my will.
What followed was the sensation of sothing gripping my heart tightly.
Damn it. The ntal restriction had activated. And stronger than usual at that.
“Are you alright, Benefactor?”
Gakjeong, sensing sothing wrong, asked with concern. I forced a nod, and only then did the backlash from the restriction subside.
I paused, trying to make sense of what had just happened.
It’s true I was about to speak about my past from before regression—but why would that trigger the restriction? I wasn’t going to say anything that directly revealed the regression.
It didn’t take long to reach a conclusion.
Even if I hide the fact of regression, if soone like Gakjeong could reach that answer on his own...
Then the stronger-than-usual reaction from the restriction made sense.
After all, even though Gakjeong had lost his internal energy, his insight and wisdom, built up over decades of holding sutras instead of fists, remained intact.
Why that leads directly to uncovering the regression, I don’t understand—but it is what it is.
Now that I understood what was happening, I simply had to adjust accordingly.
I chose my words carefully, describing my "hell" in a way that wouldn’t guide Gakjeong to the truth of regression.
“My hell ultimately stems from loss.”
“Loss?”
“Yes. A loss that occurred beyond my control. And even the one I could have sought vengeance against was lost as well. With nowhere left for my emotions to go, they turned inward—toward myself.”
“A sad tale, but also a common one.”
“In the martial world, it’s even more common.”
He was right. Though it felt like a dagger through my heart, such tangled, murky stories of grudges are not rare in the murim.
Mine was just another case of the martial world’s cruelty finding .
“However, Benefactor Cheon... you carry killing intent far beyond others with similar stories. Why do you think that is?”
“Because I chose not to forget.”
Even now, countless people are losing their families, friends, and lovers.
So due to malice, so due to illness, so due to famine or banditry.
But not all of them turn out like .
So make a place in their hearts, visiting that grave in their minds from ti to ti.
So wander aimlessly for a while but eventually return to daily life.
The reason is simple: ti.
Ti piles like snow, covering up the pain of the past.
If it were real snow, one could shovel it away. But ti cannot be cleared—so the wound gets buried, and we say it has “healed.”
“But I couldn’t bring myself to do that.”
Seo Mun-Hwarin told to forget, but I couldn’t bear to.
“So I etched it into my heartscape. To rember. To recall it vividly at any mont.”
“I see. So you didn’t fall into hell—you chose to build your own hell.”
“Exactly.”
“Then, having made yourself the master of that hell, you also beca the master of the killing intent born from it... So, it’s about control. Rather than simply suppressing it, you acknowledge and accept it, and wield it by your own will... Huh. All things are impermanent, and all dharmas are without self... Still, to accept recklessly is...”
Gakjeong fell into a quiet mutter, endlessly repeating Buddhist phrases.
After a long while, he finally seed to reach a conclusion, nodding with a deep sigh.
“Hoo...”
“Was that the answer you were looking for?”
“Certainly. Your thod is one of self-imposed penance, so I can’t call it a healthy path... but now that I know it’s possible, that alone is enough.”
“I’ve heard Buddhist disciples actually prefer penance.”
“Penance is not the path to enlightennt.”
“But I thought Buddha attained enlightennt after a long penance?”
“Haha. I didn’t know you were so interested in the Buddha’s teachings.”
Gakjeong chuckled warmly, his eyes kind.
“Indeed, the Buddha attained enlightennt after six years of penance. But it was not because of the penance. He awakened to the truth that penance does not lead to enlightennt—and in that realization, attained it.”
“That’s a lot of 'enlightennt.' It’s getting hard to follow.”
“In simpler terms: though your hell wasn’t built to control killing intent, it led to that result anyway—so it’s similar in effect.”
“Glad the martial arts explanation was easier to understand.”
I nodded with a faint smile as Gakjeong slowly rose to his feet.
“Since you’ve shared your story, it’s now my turn. Do you have any questions?”
“Many. So many I’m not sure where to start.”
“Take your ti. My old eyes can’t see well at night, so I’ll need to head back before sunset—but until then, I’ll answer as best I can.”
What I most wanted to know was his martial arts, especially how he displayed such monstrous strength and flexibility without a drop of internal energy.
But what ca out of my mouth was sothing entirely different.
“Master Gakjeong... do you believe the Heaven-Slaughter Star’s fate can be overturned?”
The Heaven-Slaughter Star is said to be not just a constitution, but a destiny—so bizarre in nature, without explanation or cure, that it’s called a fate rather than an affliction.
From the start, its very na likened it to the stars in the sky—suggesting resignation from the one who first discovered it.
But Gakjeong sought to overturn that.
I know well the desire to challenge the impossible. Soday, I too must face the Heavenly Demon and raise my sword against that incomprehensible power.
To say I’m not afraid would be a lie.
All my training, all my attempts to seek insight, are because I fear that overwhelming strength.
I imagine Gakjeong feels the sa. He’s made so progress, yet the Heaven-Slaughter Star remains mysterious.
Still, he keeps moving forward. Is his resolve the sa as mine? If not, then what is it?
Perhaps because the ntal restriction prevents from sharing my own burden, I found myself deeply curious about this man who walks a similar path.
Gakjeong blinked at my question, then, after a pause, organized his thoughts and answered.
“I have no certainty. I simply hope... and do my best.”
“Ah...”
Even as disappointnt crept into my expression, Gakjeong continued in a calm voice.
“Have you ever heard of Angulimala?”
“No. It’s the first ti.”
“He was a murderous specter of his ti—yet Buddha took him as a disciple. To attain enlightennt, he sought to kill one hundred people. He had already killed ninety-nine and was about to murder his own mother.”
“A truly heinous man. I don’t see why such a person would be accepted as a disciple.”
“The Buddha stopped him before he could commit matricide, and through teaching, helped him repent. So, making him a disciple was not such a stretch. I believe Angulimala was the Heaven-Slaughter Star of ancient tis.”
“What?”
“His teacher deceived him, claiming he could attain enlightennt by making a rosary out of one hundred fingers. But no matter how naïve he was, could anyone truly believe such a thod would lead to enlightennt?”
Surely, he must’ve realized he’d been deceived at so point. But he couldn’t stop himself—because the killing intent had overtaken him. That was Gakjeong’s interpretation.
“Well, the full story is long, so let’s skip to the point. Angulimala’s tale perfectly mirrors the blood-soaked history of the Heaven-Slaughter Star. The only difference is…”
“At the end, Angulimala repented and was redeed. Unlike all other Heaven-Slaughter Star.”
“Exactly. I may not be comparable to the Buddha... but if redemption was possible once, then perhaps the thod can be found again.”
Even if he himself fails, another person, and then another, may continue the research and eventually reach heaven with their sincerity.
“Whether you believe it or not, Benefactor Cheon, I’ve already seen so success. Based on Angulimala’s tale and records of past Heaven-Slaughter Star.”
“One: that the timing of a Heaven-Slaughter Star’s ergence can be predicted by observing Heaven’s Palace—in other words, the constellations.”
Heaven’s Palace... predicting a Heaven-Slaughter Star through the stars?
He may not have proven it, but I know he’s right—because one does appear a few years later.
“And the second: that for a Heaven-Slaughter Star to awaken fully, the death of soone close is required. In Jeongshim’s case, it may have been my death. For Angulimala, it was his mother.”
With that, Gakjeong let out a hearty laugh.
“I’ve read the scriptures about Angulimala over and over, trying to find sothing a re mortal could do... but alas, my old brain can’t figure it out.”
“So that’s why you said you weren’t certain, but just doing your best.”
“Indeed. Even in a sutra I had brought all the way from Tianzhu, it says: ‘If you seek help, find the one who walks not toward tomorrow, but toward yesterday.’ Sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it?”
The offhanded remark hit like a blow to the back of the head.
The restriction reacting more sharply than usual.
And now, a line about soone who walks toward yesterday instead of tomorrow.
It wasn’t hard to see what it implied—regression.
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