When my eyes opened, it was dark. The wagon had stopped moving, and I found a cloak draped over my body.
The sky was clear, with thousands of stars scattered across its surface as though an artist had dipped his hands into white paint and decided to flick it upon this perfect painting of the night sky.
Three moons illuminated the world, each with different shapes and at vast distances from each other. One was a warm golden orb — Aurglow, I believed we’d learned in the academy. There was a tiny silver moon sowhere in the sky, brighter than the stars and shaped like a crescent. Silvertide. And the last moon, with its pale green tint that seed to wander off on its own path, was called Verdis.
’Paying attention in class sotis pays.’
The world of Ealdrim, so far, had been more interesting than Earth. I didn’t know if it was as vast as Earth was, but I’d also never been around. Not that we had to travel around Earth to know how truly huge our planet was — there were certain diums that made the calculation possible.
It was safe to say Ealdrim lacked those.
I slowly raised myself up and noticed so other people resting in the wagon. The caravan had once again made camp in the forest. At first I was fearful, thinking it was a dangerous thing to do. But I could instantly spot my paranoia for what it was and decided to step out of the wagon first.
"Oh, you’re awake?"
Soone sitting at the wheel spoke to with an even voice as I jumped down. I glanced over to look at them.
It was Levi. He smiled at .
"How do you feel? You must’ve been dead-tired. Should you be moving?"
I stretched slightly. "My body feels sore, but staying down only makes it more sore. I can’t strain myself, but I also have to move."
He nodded with a hint of impression. "Good, good. Seems like I needn’t say more." He looked forward. "Tristan is with the third bonfire, by your left."
I nodded and was about to step forward but stopped, turning back to him.
"What about you? How are you?"
Levi raised a brow, surprised.
"Uhm, I guess I am fine. I’m quite strong, you see."
I chuckled. "I know, but it’s only proper to ask. You... all of you didn’t have to do this for , but here you are... turning yourselves into wanted criminals for ."
"Pfft." He waved off. "Don’t think too much about it. We’re always on the run, half the monts of our lives. This is just one of those tis."
I exhaled and sat beside him, though he gave a look caught sowhere between surprise and cluelessness.
"Don’t you get tired of it, though...?"
He looked at and shifted his eyes away with a smirk I couldn’t quite read.
’This guy is unreadable in more ways than one...’
"Well," he answered, "I’ve learnt to build a business out of it. And a family too. It doesn’t get tiring — it gets interesting." He looked at again. "Why do you ask? Are you tired?"
I looked down for a mont, thinking.
"No, I’m not. But at the sa ti, it sucks to have to live the rest of my life looking over my shoulder when I did nothing wrong."
Levi looked at , his eyes almost like sweet poison, tempting out emotions that were as dark as they were true.
I clenched my fist.
"To be honest, I’m not so righteous to the point where I want to spend my life proving my innocence to a system that knew I was innocent to begin with." I could feel the words spark sothing hot and harsh in my heart. "I just want to burn it all to the ground. The Church. All of them."
His unsettling smile was there.
"Hmm. First it’s a question of can, and then a question of satisfaction." His voice was asured, probing. "You killed many people recently, didn’t you? Because Lira was killed, you burnt them all..."
His words brought a painful mory that left a bitter taste in my mouth. It was difficult — especially now — to raise my head and look at him.
He added, "There had to have been innocent people amidst them, don’t you think?"
It was difficult to respond.
’Is he doing this on purpose?’ I thought painfully. ’Testing ?’
"Do you regret it...? Because if you do, you can’t bring down the church."
His smile turned almost delightful, and I felt his hand gently land on my shoulder, gripping it firmly.
"Vengeance is a very demanding lifestyle... it’s burdenso too. Sotis I tend to want to believe it requires a special calling and grace to be able to love such a life."
He was looking at the sky now, smiling up at it. "You can’t love properly. You need to hate. rcy makes your purpose weak. Vulnerability will destroy you. Regrets will hold you back. You’re bound to only accept ruthlessness, anger, hatred, cynicism, madness... emotions that do not respect you and are as dangerous to you as they are to your targets."
He shook his head, sothing pained flickering across his features.
"I don’t understand why anyone would want to live a life like that."
His words were... making think. Really think.
’Can I do it? Can I beco that person — soone who can’t afford rcy, who has to feed on hatred just to keep moving forward?’
The answer should have frightened . It didn’t.
"But..." he spoke again and looked at this ti. I was unsure what look he found in my eyes, but at that mont the only thing I could think about was how difficult it was to see myself having rcy and not destroying the church. "I understand your pain. Your grief... if you truly decide to set on this path, I believe you have the makings for it. I just want you to understand very well what you’re getting into."
He tapped my shoulder twice.
"Well, my privacy has been intruded upon. Now I have to find another loneso spot to gaze at the sky from." He stood up and walked away, his tone lightening. "Maybe the top of a tree will do? Hmmm."
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