Note: I use [XXXXXX] in this chapter to signify sothing that has been censored.
The ride was uncomfortably quiet. I was in the back seat as usual while Tye drove us. Unlike the van that Alisha usually took, we were in the sporty coupe which sliced through the street in an elegant manner. I wondered why Alisha didn't take this car as often. It was very nice and very obviously a mark of her social status. But maybe it was just that, as much attention as the black van pulled, this one made heads turn. I leaned my head against my hand.
On the other side of the window, mostly trees and other greenery went by for the first few minutes before beginning to be broken up by small buildings and houses and finally the more town-like streets of the outer city.
I knew this area vaguely. It wasn't that far from where I'd grown up so the store Tye brought to wasn't unfamiliar. I hadn't been in it in a very long ti so things had been moved around quite a bit. Tye let out by the door and pulled away to park the car. I felt uncomfortable as there was an older woman who gave a scrutinizing look as he did so. Then she stared at the car.
I hurried inside, then wondered if I should wait for Tye or not. I shook my head. His job was to keep an eye on . I would wait until he was inside at least but beyond that, Alisha’s security typically didn't stick too close in public spaces. I doubted anyone here would have any idea I was associated with her at all. I settled into a comfortable state of anonymity and once I made eye contact with Tye as he ca in the door, set off to take care of my shopping. I only needed one thing, so it wouldn't take very long. It might be worth it to find a few other miscellaneous ingredients for future baking prospects.
I wandered around for a few minutes, looking for the sage in the produce section, trying to look thoroughly at the leafy greens but it didn't appear to be there. I couldn't imagine anywhere else a fresh leafy product could be, though and checked two or three tis before giving up and taking a step back to look at a broader picture. People passed around as I did so and I began to walk slowly down the wall to look in the other chilled sections. My phone was in hand, a quick search for ‘where to find fresh sage,’ still told I was looking in the right place.
“[XXXXXX]?” I heard behind , my blood almost instantly curdling at the sound of my old na.
I turned, nervously, assuming it was aid at soone else but instead found my sister standing just about five feet away, squinting suspiciously at .
“Uh– hey, Sophia…” I managed awkwardly. My heart rate was fast, beating at an unhealthy pace and I shoved my hands in my jacket pockets to hide the shaking. I still gave her my best smile I could while trying to think of an excuse to get out of this conversation as soon as possible.
“It's been forever,” she continued. “You look so different.” She approached and pulled into a one-sided hug as I went limp, allowing the human contact but not liking it. “Where have you been?”
I stared at her, wide-eyed.
“That's okay,” she said. “I know you want your privacy.” She gave a gentle shoulder pat.
I nodded, appreciating she at least didn't pry too much.
“Uhm, I go by Kit—Kit—Kit…” I couldn't say it. It was so embarrassing to have this sudden overlap of who I was then and now and trying to say the na Alisha had given was breaking my resolve to exist in this public space.
“Kit?” she tested out the na. “I think it suits you.”
“Th–thanks,” I mumbled. “I should get going.” I made a move to walk away.
Sophia grabbed my arm before I could get very far. “Give your phone number,” she said. “Just so I can check in on you every now and then.”
“No,” I said. My hand tightened on the phone in my pocket.
“I won’t give it to anybody else,” she said. “Please? I worry about you.”
“But…” I sighed. It was true Sophia was probably the closest thing to a supportive relative I had. It wasn’t exactly fair of to make her worry like everybody else. It would also be nice to have soone to talk to if I needed support from soone that had no idea what my situation with Alisha was like.
I pulled my phone out, doing my best to keep my hand steady as I unlocked it and found the phone number within to give it to her.
“Wow, that’s the new iPear right?” she asked.
“Uhm… maybe, I didn’t really check.”
“Enter mine, too,” she said after copying the number over.
I made her a new contact, careful to angle the phone away so she couldn’t see the nas listed on the rest of them until they were off the screen.
As soon as I was finished, I repeated my farewell and retreated.
She gave a friendly goodbye wave as I went. I shoved my phone back into my pocket, feeling overwheld. I got to the front of the store, Tye standing abruptly upon seeing my face.
He approached to close the distance between us faster, also scanning our surroundings with a great deal of scrutiny.
“What’s wrong, miss?” he asked quietly.
I shook my head and hurried to the door with him quickly following behind.
I was shaking worse now, no longer in direct sight range of Sophia.
“Miss…?” he waited as I skirted the building’s wall and rounded the corner, away from prying eyes and finally stopped, panting heavily.
Tye hung back, turning to keep an eye on the pedestrians in front of the store while I did my best to control my breathing and calm down. My reality had started to slip away, spending so much ti with Alisha. Being with her was so cleansing of all the old blood from my past. It was in part because she didn’t question where I had co from or why, but also because she had accepted who I was without blinking. Her house in the woods was so far removed from these common people that I had also forgotten how they saw . That woman in the parking lot certainly thought I was worthless trash, that was why she made such a look when I climbed out of the nice car. I didn’t deserve to live that kind of lifestyle.
That was the reality. I had crossed a threshold and my sister had grabbed from across the line and pulled back. I was ugly, useless, and completely incapable of surviving on my own.
I punched the brick wall and felt the imdiate sharp pain of scraped knuckles and a deeper pain I didn’t care to worry about.
My heart rate started to slow as the pain sunk in and I leaned my forehead against the brick.
A mont later, I startled as Tye took my hand.
“Miss…?” there was a concerned expression on his face and I realized he’d been trying to get my attention for a while.
“Huh?” I asked.
“You’re bleeding,” he said.
I blinked and looked at my knuckles. There were small beads of blood forming along the ridges and a single drop managed to fight its way down to drip down to the sidewalk.
The violence gradually sunk in and sha took over.
I pulled my hand free to wipe the blood away on a corner of my jacket. New blood simply appeared but it was less than before.
“S-sorry,” I managed finally. “I’m okay.” It was a lie more to myself than him.
“If soone said sothing, I can take care of it.”
I shook my head vigorously. “No, no, no. Just… soone I used to know. I didn’t expect to run into anybody here. And it just kinda triggered so old feelings.”
He arched an eyebrow. “And this is … normal for you?” he said it very ticulously.
“Yes— no— I don’t really know.” It had been a while since I had that much adrenaline course through my system and the trembling still hadn’t stopped even if my thoughts had untangled themselves and my breathing was going back to normal. “I’m okay, I just needed to get out of there,” I explained.
“Okay,” he agreed. “We can go to another store if you want.”
I nodded. “Please, I’m sorry, I just can’t…” I clenched the sa fist I’d slamd into the wall. The flex of muscle and skin hurt as it pulled at the new injuries.
“Okay,” he said. “I’ll pull the car over.”
“No, I’ll walk with you,” I managed. I didn’t want to be entirely alone, even if I was out of sight of people coming out of the store. I could still see the people walking from their cars to go in, which ant they could see , too.
“Okay,” Tye agreed.
It was easier this way. I could turn my brain off to simply follow behind him, almost running on autopilot as he led back. There was still wariness in his posture as he walked but he walked quickly, minimizing my ti spent out in the open. He even opened the back door of the car for and waited for to get in.
As I stepped in and pulled my leg in after , I saw Sophia by the entrance to the store, looking directly at .
I clenched my injured hand again, reawakening the pain and letting it help keep grounded as Tye pushed the door shut with so force. He then turned and stared at Sophia, evidently noticing our eye-contact. I wasn’t sure what face he made at her, but Sophia hurriedly broke her stare and turned to walk along the sidewalk, probably not even to her car. She didn’t turn back around until after we were gone.
My insides did not feel good, I noted. But the worst was past and I could mostly think straight again. I still needed the sage, or to go to Alisha’s house and settle for just cranberries and feta.
For the mont, I would let Tye take wherever to get away from here and zoned out, looking at the bits and pieces of the world go by as he drove.
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