Reality
12:00 PM, Star Rail Official Channel
[Punklorde Advance Teaser PV]
[Huh?]
[HUH!? x10086]
[No way! It's actually happening!?]
[You guys really are the freest developers!]
A torrent of shocked bullet comnts flooded the screen just as the miHoYo logo faded.
"Ksshhk..."
An old, beat-up radio materialized in the center of the fra. The crackle of static hissed from its speakers before a booming, energetic voice burst through.
"Good morning, Neon tropolis! Today's…"
With a whoosh of air, the cara spun wildly. A sultry saxophone riff imdiately kicked in as a city that never sleeps, ablaze with lights of every color, filled the screen.
Hovercars zipped in and out of view while holographic ads plastered every street and alley, illuminating a diverse crowd that sported a wild variety of styles.
[WHOA! That cyberpunk style!]
[The REAL Coconut City ✓]
[That saxophone… it's so slinky~ The scene is pure future-punk, but the sax just fits so damn well.]
[I see trash cans! So many trash cans! They have skins!]
[Are you talking about… recycling bins?]
[Who the hell gives trash cans skins…]
"Zzzzt…"
Another burst of static crackled. The smooth, llow saxophone was instantly replaced by a tense, driving drumbeat.
The vibrant streets were now a scene of chaos, with civilians scattering in every direction. Grotesque half-human, half-machine monstrosities poured out from a central tower, the corrosive symbol of Rupture consuming the structure layer by layer…
The scene cut away, the cara now focused on a slightly run-down orphanage, its quaint architecture a complete juxtaposition to the neon tropolis.
A gentle violin lody swelled, perfectly complenting the building, lending it an air of lancholic, faded elegance.
"Creeeak…"
The main door swung open. A single leather boot stepped out, followed by the tall, stunning figure of a woman. She had short, dark-red hair and piercing golden eyes. A form-fitting suit traced her ample curves, and with a snap of her tallic, prosthetic fingers, a squadron of drones whirred to life.
The fra froze. The na [Veyl] materialized beside her coldly beautiful face.
[WOC! Big Sister! ONEE-SAN! Sis, you're so cool! Please step on !]
[Is this a new Punklorde character!? I'm sold!]
[So strong and powerful, got this lil bro standing at attention!]
[OHHHHHH! It's a Big Sister character!]
[Can those hands crush , please!]
[prprprprprpr!]
[Step on ! HARDER!]
The drones ascended. In the orphanage's yard, a girl in an oversized blue hoodie that covered her shorts, a bandage wrapped around her left thigh, and a large backpack slung over her shoulders, watched the drones rise with a look of innocent confusion. She tucked a strand of gray hair behind her ear, picked up a tablet, and waved it at the drones, her purple eyes crinkling with a smile.
"Good morning, Sister Veyl," the tablet displayed. The image froze again, and the na [ryl] appeared on the screen.
[What an adorable little sister!]
[Does miHoYo have a compulsion to put sothing on a character's leg or what?]
[Yes, yes, yes, she looks like a cute shut-in type!]
[Beep-boop, analyzing XP… bare legs, thigh bandage, oversized top covering the butt!]
[Ohayou, kouhai!]
The once-dazzling neon tropolis was now wreathed in smoke. The drone flew past shattered districts toward the city's edge. The perspective pulled back, and the BGM beca more somber, yet laced with a thread of wild energy.
The wider view revealed that the entire city was encircled by a mountain range of garbage. Countless discarded electronic parts ford a magnificent, tragic spectacle.
"BWAAAM!!!"
A blistering guitar riff exploded across the wasteland. A storm of dust and shrapnel roared forth as dozens of chanical hounds charged out of the tallic tempest, only to be swatted into smithereens by a colossal greatsword.
A young boy, his face still holding a touch of childishness, sat atop a support rig cobbled together from scrap. He furiously worked a remote control, annihilating the incoming hounds.
He wore white knee-high socks with his small leather shoes and kicked at the wreckage of a hound. From his British-style jacket, he produced a magnifying glass. His brown eyes were filled with disdain as a single brown ahoge on his head bounced back and forth.
The fra froze. The na [Nolan] faded in behind him.
[SOCKS!! A shota! We finally have a shota character!]
[The white socks! The British fashion! The steampunk-style ride, AND a greatsword! A little gentleman! The gap moe! I am DECEASED!!!!]
[Heh, he's just a substitute for little Wende. C'mon, miHoYo! Give us little Wende already!]
[For real, though! If you have the resources to make a new shota, then have the guts to release little Wende!]
[Ehehe, a sweet, soft little shota. His chubby cheeks look so tender you could squeeze water out of them!]
[You there? Open up. It's the water delivery guy.]
[BEGONE!]
Campsites nestled in trash heaps, enigmatic hackers, the looming central tower, a mysterious masked rchant, a dimly lit tavern…
As the cara spun through these final quick cuts and the violin and guitar played their final notes, the Star Rail logo appeared, ending the video.
[I can't spend one more second on the Xianzhou!]
[Shota! My Shota!]
[Big Sister! My Big Sister!]
[Robot! My Robot!]
[GIM ALL OF IT! GIM ALL OF IT!]
[? Did sothing weird slip in there?]
[You're just seeing things.]
Star Rail's Punklorde promotional video had caught the players completely by surprise. At only a minute and a half, it was packed with an incredible amount of content: two distinct map aesthetics, three brand new characters, various monster designs, and a cohesive overall style. It was a fusion of cyberpunk and steampunk, of hacker tech and body modification, the hum of electric hovercars clashing with the roar of gasoline engines and grinding parts… and, of course, a diverse collection of trash cans and mountains of junk.
This masterful blend of styles instantly sent player anticipation through the roof.
[DAMN IT! I seriously cannot stand Version 1.3 for one second longer!]
[I'm going to Punklorde to rummage through the trash! Nobody stop !]
[NOOO!!! WHY! miHoYo! Why must you be so cruel! Couldn't you have waited until after the first major version cycle to drop this?! Now I have to wait for centuries!]
[Bro, you survived the wait for launch. You can survive a few more months.]
[I'm waiting for Veyl! My jades are hers and hers alone!]
[Hehe, a big sister with a tal prosthetic arm, a shy-looking little sister, and a cute shota in white socks~ sluuuurp!]
-----
"Hahaha! A shota! A big sister! A SHOTA! Hahaha! I'm not crazy! I AM NOT CRAZY!!"
Drool flew from Dogzi's mouth. Staring at Veyl's long legs and Nolan's little white socks, she… she was completely losing it
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