"Hello, my na is Bai Ye. As you can see, the ga I'm playing now is called[Honkai: Star Rail]. It's a turn-based ga with exquisite art and a grand background. The characters in it also really align with my personal XP, so I'm satisfied… ah, no, that's not it, so I fell in love with this ga!"
In the video, Bai Ye had printed out the Star Rail title screen and hung it as a banner in his bedroom. Wearing a bandit's balaclava, he gave a thumbs-up to the cara.
[The strear's no good, why is he still wearing a mask? Let see!?]
[Looks like the strear still has people he cares about. Otherwise, his pants would have probably flown off by now!]
"How deep is my love for this ga?"
On screen, Bai Ye, dressed in a black suit and wearing a bandit mask, crossed his arms, the light glinting off his glasses.
"Star Rail! For you! I changed my birth date to March 7th!"
Bai Ye flipped open his black suit jacket, revealing a "Quarantine Approved" stamp on the inside. The date was March 7th.
[Nice! What a character!]
"For you! I saved up all my allowance!"
On screen, Bai Ye was frantically pulling on the gacha, only to hit hard pity and get Diluc from the ga next door.
"For you! I'm going to… I'm going to… I'M GOING TO EXPLODE AHHHHHHH!"
"BOOM!!!"
An atomic bomb detonates right beside you.
[On another level…]
[What the hell, 'Quarantine Approved,' I'm dying.]
[Born to be an animal, is that it!]
[No wonder he has to wear a mask.]
"Alright! My beloved Star Rail has officially launched!"
Bai Ye cheered and plopped down into his computer chair. The train soared into the starry sky, and with a flash of white light—
"Genshin Impact"
[You've Been Trolled.gif]
[Right on schedule!]
[Genshin Impact… launching!]
[Beware the Genshin Impact smoke bomb!]
Sorry, wrong one. Let's try that again!
The train soared into the starry sky, and with a flash of white light—
Wende's massive pectoral muscles impressively filled the entire screen!
[Who taught you to edit like this?.jpg]
[You little rascal, so this is how you edit, huh?]
[You're so good at cutting, you must have cut your own umbilical cord as a baby!]
"This… This is!!!"
Looking like he'd taken a heavy blow, Bai Ye leaned back in his gaming chair, reaching a hand toward Wende's pecs on the screen, just like Adam in Michelangelo's famous sculpture, The Creation of Adam, being half-created by the flying God. And Wende's pecs! They were the God that created him, ahhhh!!!
"Wende… Wende!!! WENDE!!!!!!!!!! GUAAAAAAH!!!"
"Wende! I revere you, I do!!!"
Image available after updating to the latest version.
Wende, take with you, Wende! Wende! How can I live without you, Wende!
Hehe… hehehehe! Heeheehee!
In the video, the masked Bai Ye began to laugh like a madman, before putting on quite a show for the audience.
(Screaming)(Contorting)(Crawling in the shadows)(Crawling)(Wriggling)(Slithering ominously)(Rolling)(Crawling frantically)(Convulsing)(Spasming)(Howling)(Slithering)(Growling nacingly)(Crawling)(Splitting apart)(Erging onto land)(Wriggling)(Spasming)(Slithering)(Walking with a distorted gait)(Attacking indiscriminately)
[HUH??? Is this a level of madness a human can even achieve??]
[Guah! It's a madlad! Everyone, fall back!]
[To clarify, even we madlads can't pull off moves like that!]
[This is too absurd! Too terrifying!]
[Wende! Hehehehe!!]
[Ehehehe! I wanna touch! I wanna touch! Let touch! Mwah mwah! Mwah mwah!]
[I'd f*cking go up and lick-lick-lick! I'd give Wende a bath myself! I'd savor every delicious inch!]
[Oh no! We have human-to-human transmission!]
[Is this a Tahm Kench reincarnation?]
As the Bai Ye in the video began crawling all over the floor and walls like Unit-01 going berserk, the bullet comnts could no longer contain the dark♂ness hidden deep within their hearts.
"Wende! Wende!! For you! I'm going to castrate xxx!"
With that, Bai Ye began a series of actions that would never pass censorship. The screen went black. When the image returned, Bai Ye was sitting wistfully on a chair outdoors, a cigarette dangling from his lips, surrounded by an endless sea of crumpled tissues.
[F*cking Sage Mode, is that it??]
[Outrageous! Beyond outrageous! The ultimate, invincible level of outrageous!]
[A smoke after the deed~]
[Definitely got carried away.]
[So, not only did you not castrate anyone, you just beat your… err… N tis?]
[You're such a clingy one.]
"Actually, I think the best way to love soone is to let them go."
Bai Ye picked up a photo of Wende, letting the tears from the corners of his mouth soak his crotch as the wind carried the picture away.
"Waaah! Wende! My Wende!"
Watching the photo drift further and further away, Bai Ye was overco with emotion and reached for the tissue box beside him again.
Amidst a flurry of sobs, this video, not ant for this planet, finally ca to an end…
[Unflinching! Phase Rush!]
[Repeating the sa mistake!]
[I'm going to sell tissues downstairs from the strear's house!]
"Please rate this video!"
[Ten out of ten! It has to be ten!]
[We must give the strear a high score of ten, or even nine points!]
Once released, this unhinged video triggered a frenzy of madness across all of ACFun.
Trending number one on ACFun: Star Rail now has its own Unhinged Holy Bible!
And that rascal Bai Ye beca famous overnight, gaining countless fans.
Because of this guy, a "Wende Bar" was even established on Tieba. The content inside, aside from going mad for Wende… was just more going mad for Wende. And the male-to-female ratio of the bar's mbers reached a terrifying number: one to one!
It was clear that the female players' power to go crazy for Wende was in no way inferior to others.
On the foreign internet, Bai Ye's video was reverse-subbed and exported, thoughtfully packaged with explanations for all the various s.
And so, a new craze of "going mad" was ignited.
There were those who paid out of their own pocket to display a giant picture of Wende's pecs on a billboard in Tis Square, New York; those who got "I Love Wende" tattooed on their backs; and so who even spent a fortune to create a Ferrari "itasha" completely covered in Wende-thed elents!
At the sa ti, the Yiwu small-commodity market in China received a massive number of orders.
Wende body pillows, Wende rchandise, all sorts of fan works were sold abroad in droves, to the point where the director of a certain printing factory had put a picture of Wende up on the wall to be worshipped!
"See… this is the God of Wealth!" the balding factory director exclaid, wearing a Wende-thed t-shirt.
"March… do you feel like sothing's off?"
Wende frowned as he walked up the stone steps. He kept feeling a strange, inexplicable aura closing in on him.
"Huh? Is it the Stellaron? Or the Fragntum? Or are you sick, Wende?" March looked at him blankly.
"Ah, this… I hope it's just my imagination… It feels truly terrifying…" Wende shivered unconsciously and muttered to himself.
He completely failed to notice the burning gaze coming from Stelle's direction.
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