"Na: Seo Ryujin. Age: 19. Nickna: Logic Goddess?"
"Yeah. I was kind of well-known among Logic trainees, so that nickna stuck."
"But you're under KJ Entertainnt right now."
"Yeah, we're a project group, so we have two agencies!"
The Guy Next Door cast gave a decent reaction to Seo Ryujin’s answer while exchanging glances among themselves.
And sure enough, a prankish question—basically their trademark—ca flying in right away.
"Ryujin, I heard there’s a rumor that isn’t your real nickna?"
"What?"
"The nicknas I heard were Ryujin-scrub, Seo No-Fun, and Seo Jigglypuff. What are those?"
"Yucheol, you punk! There’s nothing you won’t say to her! What kind of idol nickna is scrub and no-fun?!"
Dogpiled by a senior idol and a famous codian, Seo Ryujin made a startled face and didn’t know what to do.
But,
"···I’m not no-fun. I ca out today to smash that image!"
She shook her head, answered that she wasn’t no-fun, then put on a grimly determined expression.
"Really? Then, go on. Make us laugh."
"Do you guys know Shin Ramyun is···mmph!"
The mont Seo Ryujin tried to say sothing with eyes full of confidence, the Iam mbers ca rushing in with pale faces and clamped a hand over Seo Ryujin’s mouth.
"Protect our leader!!!"
"What is it? You have to let her talk! You’re making people curious!"
After that, the other mbers naturally carried the conversation forward and wrapped up the sudden situation.
And when a small burst of laughter from the staff could be heard at the banter between the Iam mbers and the cast, Juwon ford a satisfied smile without realizing.
"PD Yoon, they’re doing well without us having to pull them out."
"Guess my instincts aren’t dead yet."
Maybe it wasn’t only Juwon who was satisfied with today’s shoot. The Guy Next Door’s head writer Hyejin was also watching the set with a pleased smile.
"It’s really not easy for every single group mber to get monts."
"Their characters are all clear."
"I almost freaked out when I saw Ryu Ayeon. What kind of kid dances for twenty minutes straight?"
Rookie girl idols.
Originally, from a variety PD’s standpoint, they were the biggest headache.
-PD Yoon, you know, right? Our kids just debuted, so they need to manage their image.
The mont you tried to make it even a little raw, the manager would go pale and beg you to please go easy.
But would kids who had just debuted really have variety sense and crank out screen ti on their own, smoothly and on schedule?
So whenever rookie girl idols appeared, starting with the cast, the writers would spend days agonizing over scripts and situation skits, and after filming, the PD and editing team would make it routine to package things into “watchable” scenes no matter what.
A flower backdrop.
To a variety PD, rookie girl idols were, truly, nothing but a pretty flower backdrop.
But,
"Yuri is famous for being really good at blank-blank-blank-blank!"
Just looking at the way the Iam mbers were running what you could call The Guy Next Door’s signature segnt, "Guess ," it was obvious they were different.
"Making donuts?"
Even at Kim Yucheol’s joke—Kim Yucheol was famous for tossing out cigarette cracks without hesitation, basically taboo when aid at girl idols—
"Yuri is good at baking too, but that’s not the answer!"
—even Kurosawa Yuri’s calm coback was like that.
"Give us a hint."
"Did you guys seriously not even watch Agbaek? Yuri showed so much there!"
"Yuri, even if we watched it, we can’t say we watched it here. This is JABC···."
"Yuri doesn’t know that."
Instead of getting flustered, Yuri brazenly brought up a program from another network and made the cast flustered instead.
"You guys really haven’t studied Yuri enough, huh? Can’t be helped. Yuri will give you a hint! Yuri practiced this while watching a movie."
"A movie? Uh···voice impressions?"
"That’s right!"
When the cast got the right answer, Yuri hopped in place with an energetic reaction. If soone else had done it, it would’ve felt like too much, but sohow it fit so perfectly it even looked refreshingly cute.
"What can you do? Can you show it right now?"
"Of course!"
After answering confidently that Yuri could show it, Yuri cleared the throat for a mont, then—
"Ahem···You wench!! Ah···uagh···! Uegh···ah!"
With the most wronged expression in the world, Yuri wailed out a line—no, a screech.
Pfft!
And at the exact sa ti, laughter exploded across the set.
Yuri not only did the voice impression, Yuri even copied the male lead’s expression from an old historical drama that had been popular back then. It was convincing enough that not just the cast, but even the staff, all burst out laughing.
Even the audio director—soone who would normally get irritated about noise bleeding into the track—was laughing first.
Kurosawa Yuri had made the situation that funny.
'This is definitely going to get a reaction!'
Not just right now, either. Nobody could even tell how many tis sothing like this had already happened during today’s shoot.
-Juwon, do you think these kids are gonna give us usable airti? You know how, when you bring in a bunch of kids, the mood goes cold the second you get even a little rough, right?
-Sir, just trust and go with it. Don’t push them too hard. If you let them loosen up among themselves, they’ll handle it fine.
-Yeah? You sure?
-Iam is different from other girl idols.
Juwon suddenly rembered talking with the program’s main MC, Kang Hobong, after Iam had been chosen as today’s guest.
A veteran MC, Kang Hobong knew the risk of having rookie girl idols appear on their own, so Kang Hobong recomnded calling in another codian, or a senior idol mber with experience.
That way, you could pull at least sothing funny during filming.
But Juwon—the one who had persuaded Kang Hobong and proposed filming with only the Iam mbers—thought that judgnt had been right.
'I’ve felt it since Agbaek. The Iam mbers are ready-to-deploy.'
The Guy Next Door’s main PD, Yoon Juwon, was a devoted viewer of Idol Ground 100.
Watching that program, Yoon Juwon had been deeply impressed by the overflowing energy those contestants showed even before debut.
What kind of girl idols go out for a smoke break at the dorm, run to a convenience store, then crank out a full episode’s worth of footage through a quiz show and a talent show?
Was that when it started?
'What if they ca on our program?'
Sohow, with those mbers, Yoon Juwon had gotten a gut feeling—sothing close to certainty—that they’d do well even if they ca on The Guy Next Door.
That was why Yoon Juwon had booked Iam in advance, back when Iam hadn’t even debuted yet. At the ti, Yoon Juwon even heard comnts like, did KJ pay you off or sothing?
And, to be fair, if you asked people to na the hottest variety show right now, plenty [N O V E L I G H T] would na The Guy Next Door. There were lots of famous celebrities dying to appear, so there was no reason to go out of the way to cast rookie girl idols.
But Yoon Juwon’s decision to push through the Iam booking despite all the concern had been correct.
Because in the filming so far, the Iam mbers were filling the runti, each and every one, like they were saying, 'I’ll take care of my own bowl myself.'
'Is it because they’re survival-show kids?'
The Iam mbers were adapting to variety so perfectly that even Yoon Juwon—who had expected they’d do well—was surprised.
Thinking about it, they were mbers who survived Idol Ground 100, where a hundred people had to compete over airti. In that sense, it felt almost inevitable that variety sense would get installed as basic equipnt.
And then,
"Kang Hobong, co out!"
Lee Sion—the spearhead of the mbers who were showing off that variety sense—was preparing to put the finishing touch on today’s climax.
***
-What, you want to play your debut song? You little punks, where do you get off trying to get free promo like that? Back in my day, if you wanted to promote even once, you had to do Hobong’s dance initiation twenty tis!
The Guy Next Door recording went more smoothly than I expected.
'Who knew Seo No-Fun would try that hard.'
When we were alone, Seo Ryujin’s variety sense was criminal-level, but around other people, it seed to at least hit the average.
Even Seo Ryujin—the one I worried about most—was trading lines back and forth with the cast and adapting to the show well.
But of course, there was no way it would end like this.
According to the script, it was ti for us to show our debut song stage, Feels Like Sothing’s About to Start.
"Do you know who the boss of our class is? If our boss doesn’t allow it, you absolutely can’t promote!"
"Iam! I rember it clearly! When you wrote down the partner you wanted, none of you wrote my na, right? Hmph!"
With a deliberately angry face, cheeks puffed out, Masan Whitebeard threw a cute tantrum—while a forr idol, no, a current idol, and Whitebeard’s right-hand codian egged Masan Whitebeard on.
"What, this wasn’t in the script?"
"Looks like we need to improvise sothing."
"Should Yuri do an assassination voice impression?"
At that, even the mbers who’d been doing fine up to now looked flustered, huddling and whispering while trying to co up with a plan.
'Hmm···.'
I glanced over the crew to read the situation, and it really did look like this was the cast ad-libbing.
A few writers had panicked faces, shaking a sketchpad that read, "Keep it reasonable!"
But the main PD and main writer were watching the situation like it was interesting, gesturing to keep rolling.
'So my aunt wasn’t the only ratings addict.'
Seeing that, a certain ratings demon overlapped in my mind—soone who traded a niece for ratings.
There was no choice.
This kind of sudden situation was still too much for rookies to handle, so I had to step in.
Step.
"I’m Iam’s boss!"
The mont I stepped forward and shouted at the cast, everyone’s gaze snapped onto .
"Lee Sion!"
Masan Whitebeard called my na with an excited face, like Masan Whitebeard had been waiting for this.
"How are you going to let us promote?"
"Hey! You got the confidence?!"
"As for , I’m the pride of New Wings Kindergarten, the first to get admitted to the gifted education institute, Haandong Ronaldo on the playground, and in Legend of Valley, I was called the Widow Maker."
"What?"
At my flashy string of titles, Kang Hobong and everyone gathered on set looked stunned.
Only the mbers behind were rubbing their foreheads like, here we go again.
"S-so! You’re saying you’re going to go up against , the boss of The Guy Next Door?!"
Maybe the shock only lasted a mont, because Masan Whitebeard quickly got it together and ca screaming at again in a high-pitched voice, and I tilted my head.
"I don’t refuse people who challenge ."
"Ha! You’re funny? ! Kang Hobong is the challenger?!"
"Sir, you gotta show her what’s what!"
"Hobong, you can’t let that slide!"
"Hey, Hobong, we’re athletes. You can’t do that to civilians."
Maybe this standoff between and Kang Hobong was getting entertaining, because now the other cast mbers were chiming in too, subtly adding fuel and raising the temperature.
Backing down here would be the kind of disaster only Seo Ryujin would cause, so doing sothing was the right move.
"Fine! Lee Sion, if you beat , you can promote all you want today! If you lose, you’re filming Star King with today!"
Star King!
It was the na of a program from Kang Hobong’s pri years, infamous for making guests do personal talents for twenty-four hours straight.
For that na to co out of Kang Hobong’s mouth ant one thing: the mont I lost today, Kang Hobong was going to squeeze and the Iam mbers down to the marrow.
"So what are we competing in? A dance battle? Or what, a talent?"
Now that the mood had flowed into and Kang Hobong having a showdown, we had to pick the event.
'A dance battle?'
A dance battle—the event Kim Yucheol had blurted out.
Sure, my training period was still short, but I’d obviously have the edge over Kang Hobong in dance, so it probably ca up for my sake as the idol junior.
But even if I’m an idol right now, in my past life I was an Army captain.
How could I force an event that was unfavorable to my opponent?
Crashing head-on into what the opponent is strong at—that was the true path a real hero should walk.
Even in Legend of Valley, I never dodged opponents who ca at .
"Kang Hobong!"
"What!"
"Are you really that good at fighting?"
"What?"
A forr national wrestling champion.
I didn’t know when I’d ever get another chance to collide with a giant like this, with an aura that still carried that old status.
'If Kang Hobong was a monster, this is definitely soone you’d slap an S-rank on.'
It was ti for S-rank Hunter Lee Sion to deploy.
"Co up to the roof!"
Maybe Kang Hobong hadn’t expected to call Kang Hobong out, because Kang Hobong hesitated for a second—then kicked the chair back and stood up.
"Are you seriously saying you wanna fight Hobong?"
With fists pressed to both cheeks, Kang Hobong puffed and huffed.
It was a cutesy pose, but with that body, it was intimidating enough to feel pressure.
"How about a chicken fight? If you’re scared, you can quit. I don’t have a bad habit of attacking the weak."
"Hah! I saw that video! You’re trash at chicken fights!"
"Trash? Wrestling is Lee Mangi!"
"What? You didn’t see beat Mangi?"
While Kang Hobong and I spat fierce trash talk, the staff and cast—and even our mbers—started clearing desks and making space in the middle of the classroom.
"Sir, you’re incredible. I never thought you’d really go all the way to a chicken fight against a girl. You’re getting nastier by the day."
"Seokgeun! That’s not a girl idol! Didn’t you hear what she just said to —co up to the roof?!"
Soon, the Iam mbers gathered behind , and the cast gathered behind Kang Hobong, and the whole thing started to look like a real match.
"Lee Sion, win today!"
"Captain, you got this!!!"
"Sion, go win and co back!"
Even the mbers who normally would’ve heckled were cheering, because the person I was facing was Kang Hobong.
Step.
I didn’t look back at them. I just clenched a fist and raised one hand up toward the sky.
The legendary baseball player Babe Ruth was famous for calling the shot before hitting a ho run.
My pose right now was also the pose of promised victory.
"Alright, then, starting now—Lee Sion vs. Kang Hobong, chicken-leg fight begins!"
At the referee codian Lee Seokgeun’s announcent, Kang Hobong and I each lifted one leg and clasped it with both hands.
'No openings at all.'
Kang Hobong stood like a silent mountain.
From the eyes of a chicken-fight veteran like , if I rushed in carelessly, the odds were high I’d get countered on the spot.
Maybe Kang Hobong noticed my tension, because Kang Hobong suddenly,
"Raaawr!"
With an exaggerated motion and tone, Kang Hobong gave a little threat.
'Now!'
Maybe Kang Hobong was looking down on and showed an opening. The mont I spotted that split-second gap, I lunged at Kang Hobong.
"Co on!"
Kang Hobong saw my attack and sprang up to et it, moving with a quickness that didn’t match that build.
And the mont Kang Hobong’s knee and my knee collided in midair.
'Damn!'
As if proving Kang Hobong wasn’t a national champion for nothing, an insane amount of force transmitted through the knee.
At this rate, I was about to get pushed and topple over.
-Sion, get up! You’re Iam’s pride!
But I, Haan-dong Kim Duhan, couldn’t go down like this.
"Hong···."
"What?"
"I’m going to promote!!!"
I squeezed out every ounce of strength in my body, endured Kang Hobong’s attack, then wrung out even the last of my baby strength and launched a counterattack.
***
"Yeah, I picked up."
"Did the kids finish recording?"
"It just ended. I posted it in the group chat, Raon."
"Hey, it’s their first variety shoot—how can you just leave a ssage! The CEO still hasn’t left work and is waiting."
The mont Yunsik posted the update in the group chat that Iam’s first variety recording had ended safely, Raon’s call ca in, and he couldn’t believe it.
-Does it look like they’ll get airti?
-Are the cast pushing them around?
-How do they look today? Condition-wise?
After checking in every ten minutes during filming, what was Raon still so curious about that Raon had to call too?
Still,
"They did well today. Our kids."
"Really?!"
"Yeah."
"Think we got so funny footage?"
Knowing how much Raon wanted to hear they’d secured plenty of fun monts, Yunsik answered sincerely again.
"Today too, Sion tore it up."
Without exaggeration, Lee Sion—the variety demon—had blown it up again.
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