Immortal Paladin 114 Every Second

114 Every Second

Fifteen minutes later, I was still completely sober. Xin Yune, on the other hand, was hamred.

Her cheeks were flushed a deep crimson, her eyes hazy with drunken amusent. She swayed slightly in her seat, grinning at like I was so grand joke the heavens had played on her. Every ti she laughed—sowhere between a chuckle and an undignified snort—it was followed by her slapping the table hard enough to shake the plates.

“You…” She pointed at , her finger wobbling in the air. “You cheat!”

I raised an eyebrow. “I cheat?”

Xin Yune nodded vigorously, her hair slightly disheveled from her movents. “Yes, yes! Thou art… most unfair! Most wicked!” she declared in an archaic tone, the kind of formal speech used in old scriptures.

I leaned forward. “You’re speaking in archaic.”

She blinked at , squinting as if she were only now realizing it herself. Then she waved a hand dismissively. “’Tis but the truth! I am drunken, yet thou remaineth clear of mind! ’Tis most vexing!”

I exhaled. “You’re a Divine Physician. You have the cultivation to resist alcohol. So how exactly did you end up like this?”

Xin Yune grinned triumphantly, as if waiting for to ask. “Aha! ’Tis mine own craft! A thod devised by none other than myself!” She thumped her chest proudly, then winced.

I frowned. “You created a technique… to get yourself drunk?”

“Verily!” she announced, then proceeded to explain. Apparently, she had devised a thod that involved striking a dozen key ridians in sequence, temporarily weakening her body’s natural resistance to alcohol. In short, she deliberately sabotaged her own cultivation for the sake of getting drunk faster.

I stared at her. “That’s either genius or the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Xin Yune only smirked. “It worketh.”

That much was obvious.

I leaned back, considering. “Can you do it to ?”

She tilted her head, lips curling into a smirk. “Dost thou trust so?”

I hesitated for only a mont before nodding. She had gained my trust, whether I admitted it openly or not.

Xin Yune clapped her hands together. “Splendid! Then, brace thyself!”

Without further warning, she struck at my ridians. Or rather, she tried.

The mont her fingers made contact, a sharp crack rang out.

Xin Yune let out a small yelp, retracting her hand as she cradled her fingers. Her mouth ford a perfect "O" as she stared at her injury. Then, rather than expressing pain, she just… started laughing.

“Aha—haha—!” She doubled over, shaking with mirth, still holding her broken fingers.

I sighed. “You broke your hand.”

Xin Yune, still giggling, wiggled her injured fingers as golden light wrapped around them. Within monts, the bones set back into place. She flexed her hand and then, as if nothing had happened, turned back to with that sa drunken grin.

“Very well,” she said, clearing her throat, “since my thods hath failed, thou must do it thyself.”

And just like that, my lesson in self-sabotaging ridian began.

Impressively, it was easy to learn. It didn’t even take five minutes to get it down.

In fact, I managed to improve it. Instead of having to strike my ridians each ti, I modified the technique so I could lower my alcohol tolerance with a re thought. A convenient trick, if utterly useless for combat. But hey! At least now, I could get drunk.

Of course, this was only possible because of my absurdly high stats and my Will Reinforcent cultivation.

At the Martial Tempering stage, a cultivator would reach the peak of mortal physical ability at the bare minimum, raising all physical stats significantly. Then, at Mind Enlightennt, a cultivator would achieve breakthroughs in their ntal faculties, allowing synergy with Martial Tempering and further raising all stats across the board. The exact distribution varied depending on one’s cultivation thod, but the principle remained the sa.

In my case, at Will Reinforcent, a cultivator could use their sheer willpower to influence their body, thus allowing this feat…

I ran a quick internal check. My ridians were adjusted. My alcohol resistance was suppressed. I should get drunk now, right?

I looked at Xin Yune, who was still grinning lazily at , her face flushed, her eyes unfocused but gleaming with mischief.

“It should work, right?” I asked.

She nodded, speaking in that archaic tone again. “Verily, 'tis bound to work. No doubt, thou shalt be swaying anon.”

I exhaled, grabbing my cup. She grabbed hers.

We clinked them together.

And then, we drank.

Thirty minutes later, two drunks were fooling around outside the next brothel.

That was and Xin Yune.

Superpowered drunks? That sounded like trouble, potential disaster, even. And yet, for so reason, we were having just enough of a good ti without being destructive. A miracle in itself.

Xin Yune, by suppressing her cultivation, allowed herself to truly enjoy the mont without worrying about self-restraint. I, on the other hand, was too paranoid to suppress my stats completely. Instead, I relied on my willpower, making my subconscious prioritize not being harmful.

It worked.

The Will Reinforcent realm was truly miraculous. Most cultivators controlled their power consciously, but at this stage, I could manifest my willpower as an instinctive directive. It ant I could finally let loose—really let loose—without the constant fear of crushing sothing or soone by accident. And that, I had to admit, was a godsend.

So there we were, shoulder to shoulder, swaying slightly, singing a lewd shanty at the top of our lungs while we drank from our tankards.

The brothel was alive with celebration. Courtesans and paramours laughed, danced, and drank alongside us. It wasn’t the kind of lewd revelry one might expect. It felt more like a wild tavern party, filled with laughter and camaraderie rather than debauchery.

Sowhere between the third and fourth round, Xin Yune had the brilliant idea of buying out the entire brothel for the night.

Sohow, I still couldn’t rember how I got pulled into that plan.

"Pour the wine, don’t spill a drop,

Oops—too late, now close up shop!

A slap, a chase, a broken chair,

Guess I won’t be welco there!"

"Raise your cups, don’t lose your head,

Who’s that sleeping in my bed?!

A wink, a grin, a big mistake,

Run before we both wake!"

The shanty echoed through the night, a rowdy, off-tune ss of slurred voices and wild laughter. We stumbled through the brothel, making a ss of just about everything—knocking over chairs, spilling drinks, and nearly toppling a decorative vase that so poor soul managed to catch at the last second.

Last ti I had this much fun? Probably when I graduated from college.

And just like back then, the night didn’t stop there.

From the brothel, we wandered into the next inn, then the next tavern, drinking and singing all the way. At so point, we joined a tavern brawl, not by fighting, but by healing everyone involved so the fight could go on longer. The brawl only ended when everyone was too exhausted to throw another punch.

The last thing I rembered clearly was laughing, singing, and stumbling through the streets with Xin Yune.

Then, sowhere in the chaos of the brawl, the drinks, and the questionable life choices… my hand landed sowhere it definitely shouldn’t have.

Xin Yune’s rear.

And she kicked . Hard.

To be absolutely clear, it was an accident. I swear on my life, cross my heart, hope to die. But try telling that to a drunk Divine Physician with very quick reflexes.

One mont, I was standing. The next, I was sohow airborne.

After that, everything was a blur.

I woke up feeling… relatively sober. My head didn’t hurt, but my body was heavy with exhaustion.

I yawned. mories of the night flickered through my mind like broken puzzle pieces: singing, fighting, drinking, and laughter.

Then I turned to my left.

There, sharing the soft bed with , was Xin Yune. Naked.

I looked down.

I was naked too.

I exhaled slowly.

“…Ah,” I muttered.

I got honeypotted in the end.

Funny thing, I saw it coming and didn’t put up any resistance.

Xin Yune’s kick, I an.

The mont my drunken hand landed where it shouldn’t, I knew exactly what was about to happen. But instead of dodging, blocking, or even defending myself, I just accepted my fate. Maybe it was the drinks. Maybe it was the fact that it had been far too long since I’d been this intimate with soone, accidental or not.

Either way, I took the hit. And now, here I was.

The room was a complete disaster.

Cups, bottles, and plates were scattered across the floor. The table had sohow lost a leg, and a curtain had been half-torn down. Our clothes had ended up in completely opposite corners of the room—how that happened, I had no idea. It looked less like two people had shared a night together and more like a small battle had taken place.

I sat up, rubbing my temple just as Xin Yune stirred beside .

She yawned, stretching her arms above her head before blinking lazily at . I stared at her. She stared back.

Then, she smiled.

“Don’t make anything big out of it,” she said casually. “Just saying that in advance.”

“Sure,” I replied.

She sat up, brushing her ssy hair back before glancing around the room. “Thanks for having fun with last night.”

My lips twitched. Sothing about that phrasing made pause.

Slowly, I stood up, beckoning my Lofty Jade Proposition robe from the floor with Willpower, wrapping it around myself with practiced ease. It used quite a bit of mana, but convenient. My Wandering Adjudicator armor followed from the Item Box, securing itself under the costic item. As I adjusted my sleeves, a thought struck , one that made my expression darken.

“…Was this the Emperor’s plan?” I muttered.

Xin Yune 4tilted her head, still blinking sleepily. “Hm?”

I turned to her fully. “Using my affair with you as justification to string along? That I…” I exhaled. “That I slept with his lover?”

For a mont, Xin Yune just stared at .

Then, she burst out laughing.

Not a small chuckle, not a polite giggle—full-on wheezing laughter.

“Oh… oh my heavens…” She wiped at her eyes. “You’re so paranoid it’s almost funny.”

I frowned, watching her struggle to breathe through her own amusent.

She gasped between laughs, shaking her head. “What’s next? In your mont of vulnerability, you were taken advantage of by a woman’s touch?” She grinned at , eyes gleaming with mischief. “And I am that woman? I am so flattered!”

I stared at her.

It wasn’t cruel. It wasn’t mocking.

It was just… genuine teasing.

Either she was really heartless, or she really didn’t think this was a big deal.

Xin Yune finally caught her breath, wiping away a nonexistent tear. “Oh, please,” she sighed. “I’m not the Emperor’s lover.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Wife?”

“Not that either.”

I studied her carefully. If she had been lying, I would have scoffed.

But my Divine Sense told otherwise.

"I'm his mother," Xin Yune said.

I choked on my own saliva.

Coughing, I sat back down, staring at her in absolute disbelief. "What?"

Mother of whom? The Emperor's?

She laughed again, clearly enjoying my reaction. "What, is it so hard to believe?"

I narrowed my eyes. "I don’t see any resemblance."

That just made her laugh harder.

"You really do wear your heart on your sleeve," she said, wiping at her eyes. "It’s endearing."

I frowned, still trying to wrap my head around her claim. "We have a high enough cultivation to suppress any extraneous reaction," she continued, "but you? You don’t even try." She smiled at , a little softer this ti. "That’s what I like about you, Da Wei. You reciprocate sincerity with sincerity."

I pressed my lips together.

She wasn’t wrong.

For all my paranoia, for all the tricks and deception I had dealt here in the Imperial Capital, I had yet to find any cracks in her sincerity. And that, more than anything, was what unsettled .

Still, I argued, "I can do a poker face."

"Yes, you do," she admitted with a smirk. "And yet, you still remind of my late husband."

I paused, staring at her. "...The late Emperor?"

She shook her head.

I blinked. "How many husbands did you have?"

"Only one," she said simply. "A commoner."

That ant the late Emperor’s bloodline flowed through her, the mother. Not the father. It was an interesting developnt I didn’t expect to see in an Empire, further giving more color to the Emperor’s rise to power.

“My father isn’t exactly keen on my… let’s say rebellion, it sounds fitting, doesn’t it?” added Xin Yune. “It was fun, while it lasted. Hopefully, you aren’t disgusted with this widow…”

“You are a fine woman,” I answered. “For example, you have a big personality.”

“Funny,” Xin Yune stood up, stretching her arms above her head, completely unbothered by her own nudity. Her skin was pristine, untouched by any marks of age or imperfection. With a wave of her hand, her robes flew into place, wrapping around her as if dressing was rely a thought, not an action. “Always with the jokes…”

She turned to , her eyes gleaming with mischief.

"Want so more?" she asked, her tone flirtatious.

I placed a hand on my hip, giving her a flat stare.

She smirked. "Your loss." Then, with a softer expression, she added, "But thanks nonetheless. You might just be my first and last one-night stand."

I frowned slightly.

There was sothing in her voice, sothing just beneath the carefree exterior. It wasn’t re fickleness or reckless indulgence. There was a weight to it, a hint of finality.

I studied her for a mont before asking, just to be sure, "Are you dying?"

She t my gaze without hesitation.

"Yes."

I exhaled. "...How?"

Xin Yune smiled, as if it were the simplest thing in the world. "I’m at the end of my lifespan." She turned away, summoning a mirror from her storage ring and fixing her hair with practiced ease. "Today’s my last day."

I watched as she adjusted her robes, making herself look presentable with a deliberate elegance.

"So…" I said slowly, "your suggestion of hitting the Emperor is enforceable, then?"

Xin Yune chuckled.

"Can you just hit him for ?" she asked, tilting her head at through the mirror’s reflection. "I don’t know, use a slipper?"

I huffed, shaking my head. "That’s ridiculous. I’d rather you hit him yourself…"

She laughed, the sound light and genuine. "Such a jester you are." Then, after a pause, she sighed. "My son is… complicated."

"Complicated" was an understatent.

This was next-level.

A honeypot? Nope. This was sothing more. Sothing worse.

For the first ti, I realized just how weak I was when faced with sincerity, especially the kind that ca from good intentions.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "You know," I muttered, "I am being manipulated. And so are you."

Xin Yune glanced at from the mirror, carefully pinning her hair up with a delicate jade ornant. She dusted a light layer of powder over her face, blending it effortlessly before inspecting herself with a critical eye.

To her, this really was complicated.

She didn’t respond to my complaint, maybe because she didn’t disagree.

I sighed again, heavier this ti. "Damn it."

Xin Yune finished her little beautification routine, tilting her head slightly before nodding in satisfaction. She flicked her hand, and the mirror vanished back into her Storage Ring.

Then, she turned to .

"Well?" she asked with a small smirk. "How do I look?"

I stared at her for a mont before deadpanning, "Pretty alive."

Xin Yune laughed at my remark before replying in archaic noblespeak, her voice smooth and playful.

"To further expound, I am living every second of it."

I raised an eyebrow. "Really leaning into the dramatics, huh?"

She simply smiled, adjusting the jade hairpin in her hair. There was sothing both lighthearted and heavy in her words, like she was savoring every breath, every mont, knowing exactly how fleeting it was.

I watched her for a second longer before exhaling through my nose.

"...Yeah. I can see that."