Immortal Paladin 140 Possession is Nine-Tenths of the Gender

140 Possession is Nine-Tenths of the Gender

I sat cross-legged in the private chamber Lu Gao had been assigned. The walls were lacquered with restrained elegance, the air thick with incense… floral, maybe aphrodisiacal. Hard to tell anymore. My sense of sll had been dulled by the constant barrage of stimulation in this continent.

I closed my eyes and cycled the Mana Road again, trying and hoping for even a flicker of insight. No matter how I refined the flow, no matter how cleanly I traced the ridians, the boundary of the Third Realm held fast. It was like pressing against glass: invisible, cold, immovable.

Lu Gao had already stepped into the Fourth. Gu Jie was thriving on that Legacy synergy of hers. And Jingyi? That damn girl was sprinting ahead with the shabbiest technique I’d ever seen… just raw genius, leaving in the dust.

And ? Da Wei? Still stuck.

“Voice Chat,” I murmured in my mind. “Jue Bu, you there?”

A beat passed. Then…

“MOTHERFUCKING SHIT-EATING OUTSIDER SCUM... OF COURSE I’M HERE! You locked in this freak-ass abyss! And don’t think I didn’t notice how suspicious it was when you gently invited into your damn soul like so benevolent cultivator. Who just lets a cursed skull in without strings attached?!”

“Oh, good morning to you too,” I said flatly. “Sleep well?”

“No, I didn’t sleep! I existed. In your twisted mindscape, right next to that blob you’ve got loitering in there like it pays rent. WHAT THE FUCK EVEN IS THAT THING?!”

“…You an Eldritch-chan?”

“You NAD it?! You absolute lunatic! How the hell did sothing like that end up inside you?”

“It’s a long story,” I muttered. “And I’m not in the mood. Want a bedti tale too? Should I light incense and fetch popcorn?”

“Let out!”

“Nah.”

“FUCK YOUR MOTHER!”

“Charming. Do you kiss your master with that mouth?”

“FUCK YOU, FUCKER!”

I couldn’t help the smile tugging at my lips. His rage was weirdly… grounding.

“You know,” I said, “I might consider setting you free… if you tell about that contract I inherited.”

“…The one from the boy. Lu Gao?”

“Bingo.”

“You brain-dead half-wit. At the ti, I thought you were just a brute with more power than sense. I never imagined you were actually that reckless. Who the hell agrees to a soulbinding pact without even discussing the terms?!”

“The kind who doesn’t want to waste ti,” I said, leaning back, lacing my fingers behind my head. “Moreover, I prefer you not weaseling out. See, I didn’t want to lose the chance. Didn’t want to 'accidentally' kill you either. Besides, it’s fun watching you squirm.”

“You’re deranged.”

“I prefer ‘efficient.’ Look, if I’d asked about the terms and didn’t like them, I might’ve backed out. Might’ve tried to loophole it. But that would’ve pushed you to retaliate, maybe even try sothing desperate. Could’ve ended with your soul shattered, mine damaged, Gao in trouble... too much risk. So I thought, why not just play along, and maybe there is a use to this skull I haven't found yet?”

“You gambled with a soul contract!”

“Yep. Like a big boss shouldering his cousin’s debt and turning the scamr into an employee.”

“…What in all the heavens are you even talking about?”

“Don’t worry about it. Just answer : what’s the catch? In your case, the catch had been... You know, getting to play as my outsourced power to defend from the eldritch entity in my head.”

“You know everything about this is stupid, right?”

“I know,” I said. “It’s my kind of stupid. The deliberate kind. If it works, it works. I might not be able to see the future or juggle a dozen contingency plans like so Divine Strategist, but I know what I want. And right now, I’ve got a use for you. If you can shield my disciple from a demon like that, maybe you can do sothing about Eldritch-chan too.”

“FUCK YOU!”

How eloquent. As expected of a cursed skull with the soul of a pervert.

“I also know better than to haggle with Soul Contracts. That’s old knowledge: arcane, layered, and dangerous. One wrong twist and you lose a hand. Or a soul. Or both. Besides, you already pulled a fast one on my disciple. I’d be stupid to think you wouldn’t try the sa with . Desperation makes people pliable. No way a relic like you doesn’t know how to exploit that. That's why I played my card close to heart and manipulated what's workable!”

“…Tch. I guess you’re not a complete idiot.”

“High praise,” I said flatly. “Truly honored, coming from the skull currently taking up residence in my brain.”

“You should’ve asked, though,” he grumbled. “Even a token effort. But fine. You’ve already bound yourself, and frankly, I don’t want that blob-roommate of yours nibbling on my soul-fragnts out of boredom. So I’ll tell you.”

“I’m all ears.”

“The contract wasn’t just about shielding your disciple from the demon. That was just the trigger. There’s… a side effect.”

“…Define ‘side effect.’”

“Oh, you’ll love this,” he said with that shit-eating grin I could sohow hear. “You haven’t noticed anything weird yet?”

My stomach turned. “…Tell it’s not what I think it is.”

“Oh, it’s exactly what you think it is. Ever wondered what it’s like to walk in the shoes of womanhood? Want to give you a tour?”

“Cut the crap.” My voice dropped, flat and cold. “What’s the cost? The real one. You defend Lu Gao, and then what? You get to possess his body?”

“Close. I get access to it. The curse is a conditional possession technique. Not full-on parasitism, not the usual soul-jacking. If certain conditions are t, I get to use the body for a while. Temporary control.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Conditions like what?”

“Gender switch.”

I stared at nothing for a few long seconds.

“You’re not lying,” I muttered. “Not that you need to. It’s too damn bizarre to be fake.”

He chuckled, low and smug. “Every ti you switch gender, I get control. For a little while. With Lu Gao, I barely got anything… he’s too weak. I couldn’t draw enough strength to overpower the demon. But with you… Oh, the potential. If you didn't have that eldritch thing... and whatever the glowing stuff is, I swear I would have succeeded!”

“…Why does it have to be a woman?”

“Why not a woman?” he asked with unsettling cheer. “Soul transformation, body reshaping, identity realignnt… this isn’t science that most academics and scholars love to obsess with. It’s cultivation. It rewrites the vessel to suit the condition. I am the condition.”

Of course, science existed in this world… They got superhuman thinkers after all. But I still don't understand shit.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and let out a long, ragged sigh. “Oh my god.”

“Technically, goddess,” he said brightly. “At least during the shift.”

“Shut. Up.”

I should note: this skull had an impressively deep vocabulary for a lunatic with a fixation on curse-induced genderbending possession.

“No, seriously,” Jue Bu insisted. “You’re gonna be a real knockout. Tall, lithe, terrifying... that’s how my power likes to manifest. Like a sexy grim reaper. Hope you don’t mind looking better than most fairy queens.”

“I’m going to kill soone.”

And then it hit .

I knew exactly who I wanted to kill.

“…Nongmin.”

The shriek that followed wasn’t from Jue Bu. No, that was the sound of my own soul cracking under the weight of a dawning, existential horror. This was probably the second ti that smug bastard Emperor had pulled a fast one on .

First ti? The sudden Imperial Phoenix Guard. Surprise noble titles. The works.

And now this?

That damn imperial gremlin definitely knew what was going to happen. Sure, he warned . Vaguely. The kind of warning that lets him sleep at night but still laugh himself sick behind closed doors. Lu Gao got saddled with this ss first and still managed to act like nothing was wrong. Of course he did. Because Jue Bu had been too busy playing demon-nanny to activate the gender-swap clause.

But ? h... I think I would be fine.

“I guess I can only rely on them,” I said aloud. “I’m pretty sure you’re screwed, regardless of the effects of the curse. I have high resistance to curses in the first place. I can just cast a Judgnt Severance if it does take effect... Jue Bu, I think you underestimated too much. I’m confident you’re screwed, really screwed. That was kind of the entire reason I let you in the first place. I figured: if I inherited Lu Gao’s debt, I might as well weaponize the paynt plan.”

“Sorry… what?”

“You’re not getting my body,” I said, grinning now, teeth bared like a wolf that just found out the hunter has asthma. “Just want to tell it straight to you, before I cordon you in so corner of my brain. You think you are getting to play your cards. But to take control, you’d have to wrestle a multi-dinsional horror and a rogue AI. anwhile, I’ll be over here. Sipping tea. Watching them reduce your soul to taphysical sawdust. Work hard on not dying, I guess...”

“What even is AI? You an that glowing thing? Hmmm… There’s more in here?”

Anyway. Win-win for .

New antivirus system. Bonus perks, maybe. It was an unexpected catharsis. The only downside? Nongmin getting again. I could already imagine his smug little face. Probably laughed for an hour after I left.

“I invited you in, Skull-boy,” I said, savoring every word. “Knew there was sothing shady, but I let it happen anyway. You see, I have strong beliefs…”

“In your power?”

“No. In your suffering.”

“You’re a psycho.”

“Yup.” I folded my arms. Felt… calm, actually. “Welco to my brain trust. Population: three unhinged nightmares and . Good luck figuring out who gets to drive when the boobs show up.”

“You’re taking this way too well. This should be a crisis.”

I laughed. A real, honest-to-Daoist laugh.

“Jue Bu,” I said, wiping a tear from my eye, “I’ve been beheaded, got a PC exploded in my face, gaslit by an ancient empire, and painted a dying mother into mory with my own hands. If the universe wants to throw gender-bending into the mix? That’s ta. My life’s already a madlib written by drunk cultivators.”

“You’re insane!”

“You’re the one who agreed on the contract, you are not weaseling your way out of this.”

“Technically, we can still discuss…”

“Nope. Lu Gao had made an agreent with you already. I just inherited the liabilities of whatever unfair advantages you forced on him at his ti of need. If you'd been kinder, I might take it easy on you, but I've got to look after my disciple. If you want to bla anyone, that’s on Nongmin. Who, by the way, definitely knew. Sent packing with a straight face. Probably chuckled all through tea hour.”

I imagined Nongmin in the throne room, pouring himself wine and whispering, “Heh. She’s gonna lose it.”

The image made want to scream and laugh at the sa ti.

It was almost beautiful. Almost admirable.

If Xin Yune’s death marked a turning point for him… then this? This level of emotional investnt in screwing with ? It ant he was growing. Processing. Becoming a real person. Sothing Xin Yune would’ve been proud of.

I sighed.

“You know what? Let him have it.”

“What?” Jue Bu blinked. “Let who have what?”

“Nongmin,” I said, closing my eyes. “If pulling stupid pranks on helps him process grief and beco a more well-rounded person, then fine. I’ll tank the consequences.”

“Even if it ans… wait, who’s even Nongmin? So farr? You got beef with a peasant?”

“Farr?” I groaned. “Hah. I wish.”

I inhaled slowly, ntally bracing myself.

“Even if it ans being a woman for a bit. Just tell what the trigger conditions are so I don’t wake up mid-transformation with tits.”

“…It’s a little vague.”

“Of course it is.”

“It’s more of an emotional resonance thing. Like, your soul hits a certain frequency… strong conviction, big epiphany, using the deeper functions of my power. Depends on the person. For Lu Gao, it was cold water.”

“Cold water. Right. So it’s random and stupid. Let guess… chances are, the mont I get all noble and heroic, I turn into Magical Girl Da Wei.”

“More like Eldritch Valkyrie.”

I rubbed my temples.

“Great. Love that for . Just know this, Skull... if you try anything funny while I’m in that state… Dave and Eldritch-chan have full permission to redecorate your spiritual essence with lava and screaming. I swear, if you don't behave, I will find a body for you just to be castrated in, do you understand?”

“…Noted.”

“Good.”

Fifteen minutes later…

I was still hearing Jue Bu mutter in the background about soul dynamics and “inevitable womanhood,” but I tuned him out like a parent ignoring a toddler mid-tantrum. He was now just a faulty app running in the background of my brain.

Enough. There was work to do.

So much work.

I stepped out of my chamber.

Bai Zhe was there, standing sentinel as always, silent and unmoving. He was dressed like a scholar and ard like an executioner.

A few paces behind him were a few familiar faces. Hei Yuan and Jin Wen were returning from their outing, Lu Gao trailing close behind. Hei Yuan looked dusty. Jin Wen wore his usual unreadable face. Lu Gao... looked sentintal.

I gave them a nod. “You’re back. Anything to report?”

“Master Wei,” Jin Wen said, handing over a Storage Ring. “These are the books you requested.”

I accepted it with a nod, not bothering with ceremony. I tapped into my Item Box and offloaded the contents in a pulse of will. Hundreds of books spiraled into the void: regional maps, folklore scrolls, and obscure myths of desert tribes.

Knowledge, stacked like firewood.

Hei Yuan cleared his throat. “I have news. We brushed through the city’s underworld, shook so rats, and poked so dens. Nothing special… until Lu Gao gave a proper clue.”

He gestured to Lu Gao, who nodded with arms crossed. "Glad to be of help," he said. "Master, we should go now!"

“Sandthorn Village,” Hei Yuan continued. “Small, out of the way. Officially abandoned for years, but a small settlent had been built over them anyway. There’ve been whispers… a foreign trio staying there. Two won: one with rosy pink hair, the other a blonde.”

My pulse quickened.

Alice, Joan, and… of course. This lined up. Lu Gao was the third.

“Good work,” I said.

Before we could go further, bootfalls echoed from the side road. Captain Xue Xin arrived at a brisk pace, saluting sharply. “The Soaring Dragon boats and the Formation Gourd transports are ready to launch, my lord. A few of the boats had joined our single ship since we set off from the border. They have the Queen's permission, and it seems cooperation between the Empire and the Promised Dunes have taken effect for so ti now.”

“Good,” I said, noting her suddenly serious countenance. “What’s the problem?”

Because, of course, there was a problem. She wouldn’t have co sprinting otherwise.

Xue Xin didn’t hesitate. “The guide provided by Her Radiance, the Queen… has been assassinated.”

I blinked. “That wasn’t in Nongmin’s predictions.”

She nodded. “We’re just as surprised.”

“How?” I asked, voice low. “Who?”

Her gaze flicked to Lu Gao, then back to . “He attempted to force himself on one of the Purple Blossom girls. She resisted. He wouldn’t stop.”

Lu Gao’s aura flared. Killing intent rolled off him like a thunderhead.

“He deserved it,” Lu Gao growled. “I would’ve done it myself.”

My eyes slid to Bai Zhe. I already knew. I had told him to watch the guide.

“What happened to him?” I asked.

Bai Zhe t my gaze without blinking. “I killed him.”

There was neither fanfare nor flourish in his confession. Just a statent of fact, cold and clean as a blade. I didn’t respond imdiately. I didn’t have to. General Bai did what I would’ve done.

What any of us should’ve done.

Then the wind shifted. A sudden gust swept sand into the courtyard. Madam Yun burst in: robes askew, hair windblown, and eyes wide with panic. She dropped to her knees before I could react, forehead pressed to the dust-caked tiles.

“My lord!” she cried. “Please forgive this one for allowing such disgrace to manifest in your presence. It was my failure! I accept all punishnt!”

She groveled so hard I could practically hear her spine pop.

I let the silence linger. Let the gravity settle.

Then I sighed.

“Madam Yun. Stand.”

She hesitated, then rose to her knees, trembling.

“I do not bla you for the man’s sins,” I said. I didn’t need to spell out the implications. The guide had been personally assigned by the Queen. “My bodyguard, Bai Zhe, dealt with it. Let the matter rest.”

Madam Yun trembled harder, still kneeling.

“Prepare a feast in my honor,” I added, flicking my sleeve. “Jin Wen, compensate her for the trouble caused by our so-called guide.”

“Yes, my lord,” Jin Wen replied. He stepped forward, producing a heavy pouch. The soft clink of coin was unmistakable as he passed it over. “Please accept this as a token of our gratitude for hosting us, and for enduring that fool’s behavior.”

Madam Yun’s eyes widened at the weight. She accepted the pouch with both hands, bowing low.

“Now go,” I said, voice final. “The Purple Blossom household showed kindness in our hour of need. May you continue to care for your people... and may your business flourish for years to co.”

Her lips parted into a smile. She bowed again, this ti not from fear, but from relief. Then she all but fled my presence, robes flaring like a bird taking flight.

The feast would force the establishnt to close for the day. A gift. A lie, yes, but a beautiful one. Sweet to swallow. Sharp if ignored.

As for us?

“We’re leaving,” I said, turning to the others.

Lu Gao blinked. “Wait. What about the feast?”

I gave him a look. “It was never for us. It’s for the girls. Let them eat. Let them dance. We’ve got work to do.”

He exhaled through his nose. “I understand, Master.”

I turned to Xue Xin. “Draft a letter in my na. Deliver it to Her Radiance. Inform her of the guide’s behavior… how he threw his weight around in front of foreign guests. Tell her we handled it quietly, to preserve her face.”

She bowed. “Yes, my lord.”

I inclined my head toward Bai Zhe. “You did well, General Bai.”

Xue Xin shifted, clearly uneasy. “While it was admirable to see the old general take swift action… I do wish I had been inford sooner. My people were preparing to scour the city for the assassin.”

Bai Zhe answered with a mild bow. “Apologies, Captain Xue. It won’t happen again.”

“No,” I said, cutting in before she could reply. “It won’t. Because next ti, I will punish whatever fool dares show indecency and injustice in front of .”

I turned, robes billowing, already moving.

“Let’s go,” I called back. “I want to be back in the Empire by the third sunrise.”

They followed closely behind.

“Now, let’s look for a certain duo… shall we?”