Chen Changsheng said, “Have you seen it now?”
Yan Huanglou sighed lightly and waved his hand.
Chen Changsheng glanced at the folding fan and asked, “What’s special about this folding fan?”
Yan Huanglou took the folding fan in his hands, opened it, and saw that it had a painting of orchids on it.
After many years, he saw this fan again, and it stirred up a flood of mories in his heart.
Yan Huanglou said, “Speaking of this fan…”
“That year I was only a few years old.”
“At that ti, I didn’t understand much.”
“I was studying at a private school in the Prince’s Mansion.”
“Back then, I really wanted a folding fan.”
“Because our teacher had one, Master Zhu had one, and Master Lan also had one.”
“So I went to beg the teacher.”
“The teacher said he would give one when I could read the whole book aloud.”
“When I was a child, I was very clumsy.”
“I studied that entire book for a year.”
“By the Dragon Boat Festival, I still couldn’t read it smoothly.”
“After another half year, I finally learned to read all the words in that book.”
“Just as I got excited and went to see the teacher, I couldn’t find him.”
“I asked Master Zhu, and I asked Master Lan.”
“They just said the teacher was busy with sothing.”
“I waited for many days.”
“I didn’t wait for the teacher, but I waited for troops to enter the city.”
“The teacher surrendered.”
“Master Lan took out of the Prince’s Mansion that day.”
“In the blink of an eye, everything changed.”
“The Prince’s Mansion was raided.”
“After Master Lan brought out, I didn’t know where he went.”
“The city was no longer called Prince Yu City, but Green Mountain.”
“And in the end, I never got to see the teacher again.”
“Later, the manager of a food shop took care of .”
“I stayed there as a Xiao’er (Waiter).”
“Each month, my wage was a hundred wen.”
“This went on until I was sixteen years old.”
“The food shop business wasn’t doing well.”
“It didn’t last to the end.”
“The manager sold the shop.”
“He said he would take back to his hotown to open another shop.”
“That day, I followed the manager to the pawnshop.”
“We pawned the things we couldn’t take with us.”
“It was on that day I saw a fan in the pawnshop.”
“It was the fan the teacher had once used.”
“So I didn’t go with the manager.”
“I stayed here in Qingshan City.”
“In those years, I wanted to earn more silver.”
“I dared to take any dirty or heavy job.”
“This continued until I was twenty-seven.”
“I saved over thirty taels of silver.”
“But that sa year, I worked as a bricklayer for soone.”
“I climbed onto the roof.”
“Who knew the roof beam was loose?”
“Not long after, the whole house collapsed.”
“I nearly broke my back.”
“Yet the hoowner said it was my fault.”
“He took to the yan (Governnt Office).”
“But such disputes never have clear results.”
“The master there said each of us should bear half the cost.”
“Each paying half ant over thirty taels.”
“I had saved for more than ten years, and it all went away.”
“Without money for a doctor, my back got worse.”
“I couldn’t do jobs that needed strength anymore.”
“So I set up this tea stall.”
“The tea stall has been here for over forty years now…”
Yan Huanglou recalled this and looked at Chen Changsheng with a small laugh, “All my life has been for this fan. Don’t laugh at for being foolish.”
Chen Changsheng’s face was calm as he shook his head, “I don’t think it’s funny at all. Instead, I admire you.”
Yan Huanglou looked at him—this wasn’t like the man who usually bickered with him.
Chen Changsheng said, “So people go their whole lives not knowing what they truly want.”
“Those who seek wealth get it, then start longing for power.”
“Those with power get it, and then beco unsatisfied.”
“When death is near, they suddenly realize that fa and fortune are like drifting clouds.”
“Then they ask themselves, what was it they really wanted?”
“But there’s no second chance.”
Chen Changsheng went on, “In a lifeti, doing one thing well is already hard enough.”
“And you knew from the start what you wanted.”
“That’s sothing many people never manage to do.”
Yan Huanglou said, “I really thought you would laugh.”
“Why would I?” Chen Changsheng shook his head. “Compared to you, I’m the one lacking.”
“Lacking?”
“Mm.”
Chen Changsheng pondered, letting his thoughts wander far.
Fa and fortune? The Path of Immortality? Or to break the Mayfly Curse? Or sothing else?
He couldn’t quite say what he truly wanted himself.
If it was about freedom.
Wasn’t he free enough now?
He probably was.
Yan Huanglou saw him deep in thought and asked, “You don’t know what you want?”
“What if I say no?”
“You’re no ordinary person from the Civic District like . How could you not know?”
Chen Changsheng smiled at this, “Actually, the more one knows, the more they get lost.”
“Is that so?”
Yan Huanglou still didn’t fully understand.
He thought it was simple, like how scholars aim to pass exams.
Chen Changsheng didn’t say more, just sat there on the bench drinking tea.
Yan Huanglou noticed sothing off and said, “The way you are now feels nothing like you.”
Chen Changsheng didn’t turn, murmuring, “I’ve always been like this. Only recently, I’ve been a bit playful.”
Yan Huanglou said, “Don’t tell it’s because of ?”
Chen Changsheng smiled slightly, “Partly, yes, and many other things too.”
“But at least it’s better than before.”
Yan Huanglou grew curious, “What were you like back then?”
Chen Changsheng thought a mont and said, “If I had to describe it…”
His gaze fell on a lonely old man walking down the street.
“It was like that man over there.”
Yan Huanglou followed his look and saw the old man with clouded eyes and unsteady steps.
He felt confused—why compare himself to soone so old, when he was still young?
“You’re so young,” Yan Huanglou said.
“You don’t believe it?”
“I do.”
Yan Huanglou replied, “To , you seem warm on the outside but secretly sad inside.”
Chen Changsheng nodded, “You’re right.”
Yan Huanglou shook his head, “If that’s the case, you shouldn’t wander around.”
Chen Changsheng glanced at him, asking, “Why not?”
“You’re the nostalgic sort. But with friends close, you’d worry less.”
“For example, in Qingshan City, it’s small. Stay a while and you’ll get to know everyone.”
Yan Huanglou said this.
Chen Changsheng shook his head at those words.
“I…”
“it’s better not to know too many people.”
Yan Huanglou questioned, “Why?”
“No special reason.”
Chen Changsheng drained the tea in his cup and said, “I’ll co back later.”
He left the tea stall.
Yan Huanglou lifted his eyes and saw Chen Changsheng’s departing back, which felt very different now.
He could see it clearly.
It was a type of indescribable loneliness.
As if…
No one could walk the sa path as him.
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