The Sagan cast’s eyes went round.
‘Sales score?’
When categories like music shows, schedule managent, and improvisation ca up, everyone went ah and nodded along.
But sales score?
“If it’s sales, what is that.”
Lee Pilseung asked the other cast.
“Probably greetings, right? Scoring us on how well we greet broadcast folks and all that.”
“Feels like that, hyung.”
“Bina. What do you think it is?”
“Since it’s sales, maybe it’s literally sales points? Promoting our singer—‘please look kindly on them’—that kind of thing.”
Kevin was right.
‘His insides are intact after all.’
The Sagan cast looked at their maknae variety guy with satisfied smiles.
But then a doubt crept in.
‘Sales score.’
They had promoted their singer too.
Every ti they went to a schedule, they handed out CDs to contacts saying, “Serenity’s album is out, please give it a listen.”
And yet—
‘Why does it feel like that’s not it?’
If they were flashing “sales score” this grandly, there had to be sothing.
As variety people, they could tell. When you’re shooting, there’s a point where you feel, ah, we’re about 40 minutes into a 60-minute cut.
This was exactly that mont.
There were about ten minutes left—too early to end.
‘What on earth is it?’
Thinking that, they looked over at NewBlack.
“Hohohohoho.”
“Uhohohohoho.”
Behind Wooju’s arrogant smile, the four stooges were shimmying and snickering.
They were always like that, but the vibe scread that sothing was up.
Just as the uneasy Sagan cast were about to ask NewBlack sothing—
“It’s on!”
The next video rolled.
On screen, judges who’d been about to stand sat again at the staff’s call.
[We’re not done? ...There’s more video?]
[What else is there to judge?]
A video imdiately played before the seated managers. Sa as on our screens.
“That’s Wooju’s team, right?”
“Huh?”
“Wooju’s on!”
It was Wooju chatting with a broadcast writer at the HBS Open Hall.
A warm conversation flowed, and naturally the talk shifted to a show appearance.
[Natural.]
[That’s Mr. Wooju, right? He seems talented at sales.]
[Oh, I was honestly impressed when he segued into the main point. Man.]
In the footage the managers watched, Wooju casually landed a variety booking, and the first video ended.
The managers on screen clucked their tongues.
[Is that common? Absolutely not.]
[Usually we roam the variety departnt hustling like crazy... then you get one lucky bite. And those big variety shows in the video—those are invite-only; they have to call you.]
[It happens sotis—if you’re a chief with a killer network.]
As that conversation passed, the Sagan cast stared blankly.
“...What just happened.”
Actor Han Yeoreum said, dazed.
“Did Mr. Wooju just score a variety schedule?”
“And a popular variety, at that...”
Are we dood? Are we dood?
As the Sagan cast turned in a daze, Wooju clicked a finger-gun and winked.
Infuriating.
And yet wonder ca first.
“I an.”
Park Hobeom let out a big laugh.
“Isn’t this a ‘work-experience variety’ concept? Who does actual work during practice?”
“How are we supposed to beat that?”
As the cast cried augh I’m dead and protested, PD Do Jungi smiled serenely.
“Do you feel wronged?”
“Yes!”
“Then do better.”
“...”
“I’m disappointed to hear such weak talk. You can do it! Wasn’t that our show’s motto?”
At PD Do Jungi’s delighted face as he shouted a special-forces slogan, the cast abandoned hope.
“We’re finished.”
“Look at that. That’s the face of soone who’s prepared a fun punishnt.”
“We don’t know yet. Not yet.”
Shuttling between despair and hope every 0.1 seconds, the Sagan cast said,
“Honestly, you can’t judge it off one stroke of luck!”
“Right!”
...they were saying when—
[Huh?]
[There’s another video?]
A second clip popped up before them.
Managers who’d just said it was luck blinked as they watched Wooju land a one-act drama schedule inside PBS.
[PD Oh Myeonghan?]
[He does long-form... Guess he’s doing a one-act? He’s a very skilled director.]
[I want that script. How did he get it?]
He’d gone to PD Shin Murok, chatted naturally, then connected to the drama division and ca back with a schedule.
A chief from KM Entertainnt looked into the cara.
[Mr. Joo Sunwoo. Share the know-how with us too.]
[We all have to eat~]
[At this point he’s a real chief. Better than .]
Just three days and two nights.
In that ti, Chief Joo Sunwoo landed two schedules; the managers unanimously gave full marks.
[You can’t not score this.]
[This isn’t luck; it’s skill. Full marks from too.]
Even the cast off-screen had to admit it.
‘We lost.’
Oddly, a lightness settled sowhere in the heart.
The desire to sohow dodge the punishnt evaporated, and resignation took its place.
If we’d lost by a hair, we might’ve been sore about it.
It felt like playing badminton at the neighborhood court and suddenly losing to the world No. 1 who showed up out of nowhere.
“Alright.”
PD Do Jungi smiled and announced the result.
“327 to 297! NewBlack TV x People Go special collab! The winners are—NewBlack!”
“Waaaaaaaah!”
“Uuuuuugh...”
The cast shriveled; we bounced.
“Dodged it!”
“Dodged the punishnt!”
Like soccer players doing a ceremony, we sprinted across the studio.
We slid to the floor and pumped our fists.
Under the dazzling lights, my eyes turned dewy.
“We did it. Grandma. I did it...”
I thought of Madam Kim Deoksun and looked up at the lights—and why do I see the CEO.
As I basked in glory, the kids jumped on , bouncing.
It was the infamous Sagan punishnt; just dodging it made giddy with happiness.
“Are you happy?”
From a distance, Eunseong asked with a sulky face.
“We’re getting punished now!”
I nodded, smiling.
“Don’t cry, Kevin. That’s how contests go, right? Soone wins and soone loses.”
“Bwahahaha!”
If it were a NewBlack TV variety, I’d be dancing like, anyone but ~ dum-chit dum-chit.
Since it was soone else’s show, I kept it moderate and stood.
“What do we do...”
“Maybe we should’ve kept a good heart. Deciding to dump the punishnt on the guests might’ve been our mistake.”
“But I hate punishnts.”
As we patted our chests watching the trembling Sagan cast, PD Do Jungi smiled.
“Now then.”
“Ah, what. Punishnt reveal ti already?”
“Not yet. One more thing first.”
All eyes, ours and the cast’s, went to PD Do Jungi.
“How was it, working as managers today?”
“It was hard.”
Ri Hyuk said.
“We figured we’d be fine since we run music shows and pull all-nighters a lot... but there was way more to do than we thought.”
Everyone nodded and frankly shared how the work felt today.
We also knew what the next segnt would be.
If I were the PD, I’d go ta-da! and play the managers’ video letters and get a group tear-fest.
“Right.”
PD Do Jungi said,
“You probably guessed it, but your managers watched footage of you working.”
“...”
“And now you’ll watch that.”
The lighting dimd to a retreat-camp, cry-friendly tone.
The VCR popped up at once.
[Bwahahaha!]
Shots of managers laughing cross-cut with the slapstick of celebrities adapting to manager life.
[Q. Think your artists will do well?]
[Ah. Not sure.]
Kevin’s manager, already gaunt with worry, briefly provided a laugh.
After the Sagan cast, our two traitors appeared.
[Manager work?]
Mingi hyung glanced at Wonseok hyung and said,
[I think they’ll be very good.]
[I think the sa.]
[Our mbers self-produce. So they’re savvy about the overall work. Also, they’re only satisfied when they personally know the details of what’s going on around them.]
[They know everything we do. I’m not sure Sagan has a chance...]
Our managers bantered on screen.
[They’ll be really good.]
[Maybe they’ll go and land schedules or sothing?]
[Bwahaha!]
Right after that, highlights rolled of us doing manager work.
[That’s it. Good.]
[They’re good... Team Leader, they actually know everything.]
[I told you. They rember it all. Good! Biju did great!]
Biju bead at the sight of Mingi hyung clapping.
Wonseok hyung smiled warmly.
[They’re all doing well.]
[Right. We should show this to our new managers as a training video.]
[But where did Wooju go?]
As footage of landing schedules ca up, the two managers blinked.
[He really brings back schedules.]
[Can you do that, Team Leader?]
[If I could, would I be a team leader? I’d be a chief.]
The studio chuckled at the bit.
Focus shifted back to the Sagan cast, and manager interviews flowed.
How they felt, watching celebrities struggle as managers.
[My heart hurt. Yeoreum unnie is soone who must eat. Seeing her skip als like that made ache.]
[Finally, Kevin might wise up...]
[Hyung. You worked so hard.]
The managers’ feelings poured off the screen like a letter pressed hard with an inky nib.
The Sagan cast’s eyes were already reddening.
We were silently sobbing too when our hyungs’ video letters played last.
[Hi, kids.]
Mingi hyung waved.
[You’re probably watching the other managers’ videos right now. Don’t cry.]
[We’re waiting outside the studio.]
Ah—my tears pulled back a little.
Mingi hyung said,
[Even if it’s a variety show, it hurt a bit ~Nоvеl𝕚ght~ leaving you at Incheon Port. Our kids are so very soft.]
That’s true.
[...You really lived like weeds on screen. Very you.]
[They’ll get mad if you call them weeds, Team Leader.]
[Then... artificial turf.]
As they bantered, Mingi hyung continued,
[Great work these three days and two nights. How is it—after trying manager work, there isn’t a single easy thing in the world, right?]
[Still, you did so well.]
[It’s been three years and two years, respectively, since we’ve been with you, but it feels like about ten, doesn’t it?]
We smiled and nodded.
[We can’t say we’ve been managers very long, but you’re the best people we’ve t so far—artist or otherwise.]
Ri Hyuk lifted his shirt to cover his eyes.
Wonseok hyung said,
[So we always want to be good people to you. Not sure we’re pulling it off, but...]
As our managers spoke, the other kids also raised their clothes to cover their eyes.
I looked into space once, then watched calmly to the end.
[Always grateful, and I hope we’re happy together from here on out.]
[Healthy and for a long, long ti.]
As they said that and the Sagan cast burst into sobbing wails,
We thought the video was over.
But Mingi hyung and Wonseok hyung continued.
[Now, on that note there are a few things we want to say...]
Our managers pulled long sheets from their pockets. Lists of things they wanted to say, it seed.
[We might not get another chance to say this, so we’ll say it now.]
[Let’s go.]
[Junhyun.]
Junhyun answered, “Yes,” before he knew it.
[Let’s get up early. Do we really have to play a country-dawn rooster crow to get you up?]
[And it has to be the pre-dawn rooster for you to wake up.]
[Right. Are you a rooster? You’re a person.]
The studio burst into laughter.
[Ah.]
Then Mingi hyung said,
[Should we have asked for anonymous voice distortion?]
[Let’s ask now.]
The staff said okay to Wonseok hyung’s suggestion. Instantly, graphics popped up.
Black bars covered our hyungs’ eyes.
They took helium balloons, inhaled, and spoke. After a few ah-ah~ tests, Mingi hyung said,
[Alright, continuing. Mr. Wang Jiho.]
“Yes, yesh?”
[Now that it’s 2017, this must be said.]
Mingi hyung looked into the cara.
[Mr. Wang Jiho. You are an adult. Please behave like one.]
[Right.]
A solemn helium voice chid in.
[How long are you going to shed snack crumbs?]
[Sir, you’re an adult!]
[An adult!]
[If you finish it, you! clean it up! like a grown-up!]
The furious helium gremlins got the biggest laugh of the day.
Even after the video ended, laughter lingered.
“NewBlack’s managers are NewBlack-esque too.”
“Ah, my sides...”
“You can only say that stuff when the vibe is good.”
As the Sagan cast tossed in comnts, we laughed along.
At first it felt like we were going to bawl, but we broke down laughing at our managers’ requests.
“Alright.”
PD Do Jungi clapped again, and eyes gathered.
“Ti to reveal rewards and punishnts, right? First, NewBlack, the winners! Co on up!”
“Yes!”
“The reward for NewBlack is a family travel voucher!”
“Ooooooh!”
As we took the PPL board labeled “Package Trip,” PD Do Jungi smiled.
“Take a trip with your managers and families.”
“Thank you!”
While we bowed to the cara,
Our managers happened to co into the studio to pick us up.
“Hyungs!”
“Co here! Hurry!”
We’d only not seen them for three days, but it felt like three weeks.
We stood with our shyly smiling managers before the cara, holding the travel voucher and grinning.
Hugging them, I said,
“I really missed you.”
We’d been blustering about not forgiving them when we t, but the second we saw their faces, we lted.
Mingi hyung and Wonseok hyung smiled bright as they took the voucher.
“Ti to be filial for once.”
“Huh, this isn’t just any package. PD’s a big spender.”
As they said that and exited behind the caras to take off their mics—
Biju asked,
“But what’s the punishnt?”
“Good question.”
We turned our heads; the cast were still trembling up on the studio stage.
“What the.”
“Why don’t we see our managers?”
“Our... what’s our punishnt?”
PD Do Jungi smiled and shouted,
“Then we’ll reveal the punishnt!”
At his gesture, the studio lights turned brilliant.
As the lights sparkled like blazing sun, brassy BGM started up—parabarabarabam-bam-bam.
A resounding trumpet.
“Isn’t that the army reveille?”
“I’ve never been, so I dunno.”
As we were saying that—
Bang!
The studio’s steel door swung open, and with bright lights behind them, six silhouettes stretched into the room.
“Huh?”
“Uh-uh-uh?”
“Huh?!”
Dapper black uniforms dusted at the shoulders.
Red berets.
Sparkly sunglasses a PE teacher might wear.
And combat boots radiating a cool sheen.
The strongest~ Incheon~
I could almost hear a ghostly chorus as the Incheon SWAT folks strode into the studio.
PD Do Jungi whooped.
“To keep your bodies and minds healthy this winter, we’ve invited your one-day PT instructors.”
“That PT is that PT, you devil!”
“Please welco the Incheon Police SWAT!”
The operators marched in, chins high, and turned to look at .
Sergeant Go Gwangsun, Corporal Lee Jeonga, Corporal Park Gyeongjun from Tactical Team 1 were there. I saw folks from other teams too.
Their faces were full of regret as they looked at , and I offered an awkward greeting.
“Have you been well?”
“Sure. We ca thinking we’d have fun with No. 8...”
“...”
Instructor Han Byungcheol—nicknad “Viper” after getting bitten by a viper on a field trip day—slid his sunglasses down and winked.
I looked away.
Then the SWAT officers bead at the tense Sagan cast.
“Since you’re heading into a police special soon, the 313 Incheon SWAT ca to you personally.”
“...We’re dood.”
“In winter, minor injuries can snowball into major ones. So to keep your body and mind healthy—!”
“Thirty minutes of health calisthenics!”
We chid in from the side with tudun! and the SWAT bead and clapped like seals.
Eunseong, who’d once laughed watching get dragged to SWAT training, now had wet eyes.
The maknae asked,
“But if it’s thirty minutes, we can handle it, right?”
“Just watch.”
“Whoa, that’s not the health calisthenics I ant.”
Seeing the cast start doing little hops in place, we bowed to the crew and said we’d be heading out.
We closed the door behind us, smiling leisurely.
“Aaaaaaah!”
“Hyung, why are we running!”
“First, we need to get as far from this neighborhood as possible.”
“...?”
“I know those SWAT guys. They might co grab us saying there’s an open spot.”
“!”
Our managers doubled over laughing as they watched the kids sprint out with grave faces.
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