"Popcorn?"
"Setup complete."
At the maknae’s question, the other lackeys answered.
"Cola?"
"Setup complete."
Jiho nodded just as solemnly at the older brothers who were nodding gravely, then asked,
"Sun Wooju?"
"Setup complete."
Ri Hyuk and Junhyun plopped their hands down on my shoulders.
Biju burst out laughing on his own for so reason, then started wheezing and collapsed face-first onto the sofa. The other mbers were the sa.
They were grinning from ear to ear, looking ridiculously happy.
"Sun Wooju-ssi~"
"Why. What. Why."
The maknae held his hand out like a microphone.
"How do you feel?"
"Extrely displeased. The sight of my younger brothers working this hard to make their older brother look like an idiot is beyond reprehensible."
"But we didn’t make you look like an idiot. You went and did idiot things on your own, didn’t you?"
"Th-tha......."
I just clicked my tongue as Jiho babbled.
I turned toward Biju, who was sitting next to tapping away at his phone.
"Biju. What are you doing?"
"Ah."
Biju smiled brightly.
"I’m ssaging my friends, telling them to make sure they watch today’s broadcast. I told them not to miss the part where you show up."
"You don’t have to send stuff like that."
"Wouldn’t it be better if as many people as possible watched?"
Biju smiled gently.
"This ti, the reason you went on the Dorlympics was to make as strong an impact as possible, right?"
"Th-that’s true."
"To achieve that goal, I think higher ratings would be better."
"That’s also true, but......."
When did our young lady’s way with words get this good?
I couldn’t argue back, so I just nodded with a miserable expression.
"Hoo......."
Jiho and Junhyun were dancing around, Biju was promoting the broadcast to friends and acquaintances, and in the middle of it all, as I sat there clutching my head, Ri Hyuk’s snort flew at .
"Serves you right. You should’ve practiced more."
"I told you, even if I practice, it won’t work."
"......."
"What are you doing?"
"Just a second. I’m looking sothing up."
Ri Hyuk went into NewBlack TV, searched for a video, and played it.
It was a scene of sitting the lackeys down like students at a village school and lecturing them like a strict instructor.
[Is there anything that effort can’t accomplish?]
[No!]
[That’s wrong. There’s nothing effort can’t accomplish. Effooort! If you put in the effort, you can do anything!]
I pretended not to see it.
"......Ahem. Why did I say sothing like that?"
"You said it yourself. That there’s nothing effort can’t do. By that logic, gas should be the sa, shouldn’t they?"
"......."
"Ah. This is fun. I like it best when I get to dismantle soone else’s logic."
I looked at Ri Hyuk, who was enjoying himself with flushed cheeks, and shook my head.
Then I sighed.
"Who would’ve thought I’d be treated like this just because I’m bad at one ga."
"Because you’re super bad at that one thing, that’s whyyy~"
"Can you not talk for once? I went on because of you...!"
I yelled "Kyaak—" but Junhyun grabbed my arm and cald down.
"I’ll press your calming point, hyung. Calming point~"
"Hoo......."
I beca astonishingly calm.
But then drowsiness.......
Uh.
Uh-oh.
"Don’t fall asleep."
Ri Hyuk clapped right next to my ear, snapping out of Junhyun’s clutches.
"Man, Junhyun, you could open a sleep clinic later. The mont you press it, sleep just cos pouring in."
"It’s because you don’t sleep, hyung."
"It’s fine~"
I waved my hand at Biju, who was looking at worriedly, and turned my gaze to the TV.
Today, the day before Chuseok, was National Foundation Day.
This E-sports Dorlympics was scheduled to air the preliminaries today and the main event tomorrow.
I hugged a cushion while looking at the Dorlympics logo, which was different from previous years.
"Ughhh......."
If I’d known this would happen, I would’ve practiced gaming a bit more.
Not knowing the run key so I walked while fleeing, punching a junior singer only to get hit and run away, throwing a grenade and getting hit by my own grenade.
The black history swirling through my head in full 3D was already tornting my mind.
"Hyung, but it’s not just that you’re bad at gas."
The maknae asked with a curious look.
"When you watch, you also seem totally uninterested in gas themselves. Even when I teach you, you just look bored and uninterested."
"I never really liked gas, even back then...."
"Why not?"
"It feels like there’s nothing left over."
The younger mbers tilted their heads, so I explained.
"I’ve always liked doing things that leave sothing behind. But if you play a ga for hours and then turn off the computer, there’s nothing left, right? If you practice dancing, the dance stays. If you practice expressions, the expressions stay."
"Huh? Who plays gas with that kind of mindset? You play because it’s fun."
Before I could answer, soone whose hobby was arguing cut in.
"That feels like a logical leap. Why is there nothing left after you turn off the computer? Your ga skill stays."
"It doesn’t stay for , that’s the problem......."
"Ah... ah......."
That was probably why I’d never been very interested in gas.
After monthly evaluations, when Taehyun or Hanbin would go, "Hyung hyung~ PC cafe~" and drag along, I’d only play Star at most.
I’d laugh and hang out to match the mood, but even while playing I’d think, ‘Why am I doing this?’
"Hmm."
Jiho clapped brightly and smiled.
"So in the end, that’s just an excuse for being bad at gas."
"......."
"The reason you’re bad at gas. I’ve heard it very well~ ‘Hmm, I don’t do things unless sothing’s left over~’"
"......Junhyun."
Junhyun raised his hand sharply.
"Should I grab Jiho?"
"No."
I ran a hand through my hair and said,
"Press my calming point again."
"Ah. Okay."
As Junhyun gently kneaded my arm, the other lackeys burst out laughing.
Just then.
"It’s starting!"
TBC’s mascot zipped around, saying, ‘There’s no age limit, so parents can leave.’
At last, Part 1 of the Chuseok special Idol E-sports Tournant was beginning.
With National Foundation Day mixed in, it was a golden holiday where the entire weekend was off!
Office workers who’d already taken leave since the previous Friday, and students enjoying the break, were spending this golden ti.......
"Ah. I’m bored."
Lazing around at ho, killing ti.
Rolling around on the living room floor, they just stared blankly ~Nоvеl𝕚ght~ at the sunlight filtering through the blinds.
‘I should do sothing.......’
Diligent people were going abroad, going to Jeju, and so on.
Office workers burned out from everyday fatigue didn’t even have the energy to do more than photosynthesize while staying still.
After blankly scrolling through SNS posts about people going places, or articles about overseas trips, the office workers flopped down flat on their backs.
‘I don’t want to do anything. I want to violently and passionately do nothing. I want to beco the dust of this world.’
But it also felt like a waste to let this ti pass.
The people who’d been rolling around on the floor crawled up onto the sofa and grabbed the remote.
"Ughhh......."
Just as they were staring at the TV with listless expressions.
While flipping channels, their eyes caught on TBC.
"Chuseok special idol... Dorlympics again?"
But the logo looked a bit strange.
A mouse-shaped logo with a bold ‘E’ caught their eye, and they reread the text.
"Idol E-sports tournant?"
Curious, they searched the portal and saw that this year’s special was doing E-sports.
That alone wasn’t particularly special.
‘Sun Wooju is on it?’
In the preview thumbnail, they saw Sun Wooju’s face.
Wearing headphones atop a head lovingly sculpted by heaven, he was playing a ga with a faint smile.
"Wow."
People exclaid.
‘Just looking at his expression, he’s a pro gar.’
That wasn’t wrong.
In fact, the expressions Sun Wooju had copied from pro gars on MyTube really were that convincing.
But the public wasn’t fooled.
‘An empty cart rattles the loudest.’
Who didn’t know about Sun Wooju’s gaming skills?
Even playing together with [AI: Easy], he’d go down in a blaze of glory with a GG—that was Sun Wooju.
The kind of maddening play that would make you swear if he were on your team.
"......This is it."
That was why people smiled contentedly.
An idol ga tournant, not a pro gar competition, had no reason to interest the general public.
But what if it was funny?
If it was so funny it beca healing over the holiday?
‘As long as Sun Wooju is on it, it’s worth watching.’
The eyes of lethargic office workers began to sparkle.
They jumped up, brought snacks and drinks from the kitchen, and set them up.
It felt like unexpectedly sitting down for a honey-sweet Chuseok special movie.
‘It’s starting......!’
Soon, the broadcast began with an age-rating notice.
Archive footage of legendary pro gars and famous E-sports matches appeared.
[Will they even be able to break a single bunker! There are more SCVs repairing it!! GG!!]
[I can say this with confidence. One of the greatest matches in history.......]
Alongside that, headlines about the Korean gaming industry flashed by.
‘Korean ga industry worth trillions,’ ‘Growth of the ga industry,’ emphasizing the keyword “E-sports powerhouse Republic of Korea.”
And then ca the edit saying, that’s why this Dorlympics is E-sports this ti!
[TBC Ilsan Studio]
Footage of idols at the pre-eting going, ‘Gas?’ with interest played.
Scenes of each person practicing flashed by quickly.
In a grid layout, countless participants’ preparation and practice clips filled a single screen.
[Yes! Hello everyone! The 2017 Chuseok special! The Idol E-sports Tournant is finally opening!]
Fail from boy group Ace, famous for loving gas, entertainer Mobeomju, who also loved gas, and well-known ga caster Jeong Hyeonjung introduced themselves.
As they explained the rules for shooting gas, AOS, and other events, the cara zood in on Preliminary Group 1 seated on set.
‘There he is.’
Sun Wooju, flicking his mouse with a seriousness rivaling pro gars during prep ti.
[Yes. Sun Wooju’s expression looks good even from the prep ti.]
[The way he’s moving the mouse isn’t ordinary. Was his skill all this ti just a smokescreen?]
[Ah. The mont I said that, our technical staff is heading to Mr. Wooju’s seat.]
With a pro gar’s serious face, he said sothing, and the staff nodded, then connected the mouse cable.
Sun Wooju scratched his nose awkwardly, pretending nothing was wrong.
[Looks like the mouse cable was unplugged.]
[Is he computer-illiterate! He reminds of a friend who’d have nothing to do during free ti in computer class and just practice typing in Hancom!]
[From what I know, he’s very good with computers. He must be flustered right now.]
The comntators burst into laughter, and the viewers laughed along.
[All right! Now let’s look at the lineup for today’s Preliminary Group 1 players.]
[While we wait, let’s watch a short video of the players’ aspirations.]
As if the broadcast station were saying, ‘You don’t really know idols these days, right?’ short aspiration videos began to play.
Starting with a rookie idol bouncing around saying, ‘Hello! I’m Rui from Lucky Girl! Today’s Dorlympics...!’ it was a montage focused on Preliminary Group 1 participants introducing their faces and affiliations.
And then.
[Yes.......]
A national idol with a sparkling smile appeared.
Wooju spoke in a cheerful voice.
[As a representative of NewBlack, I’ll be participating. Yes. That’s right. As the representative, my skill is NewBlack’s skill.]
Viewers gasped.
‘Dragging everyone down with you...!’
‘Wooju really never dies alone.’
‘A skill that takes everyone to the grave together... you learned well from Kim Biju, Wooju.’
Wooju spoke seriously.
[People keep saying, ‘Why are you on this?’, ‘Aren’t you bad at gas?’ But I think that’s because no one knows my true self yet. The mont I grab the keyboard and mouse, you’ll be surprised.]
At his bravado-filled, variety-show expression, viewers burst out laughing.
Perhaps embarrassed by his own words, he ended with, ‘Can we reshoot that?’ and the Preliminary Group 1 interviews wrapped up.
Back to the comntators.
[And we’d like to inform viewers in advance that today’s broadcast will be shown together with the live chat from a ga-specialized channel.]
[Hello to all the streaming viewers!]
Though the streaming chat wasn’t visible on screen, the comnts appeared as subtitles filling the screen.
It felt bustling!
-Trha!
-It’s Dorlympics lol
-So excited!!
As befitting a terrestrial broadcaster, only mild comnts were captured and shown.
A friendly atmosphere spread among viewers.
‘This looks fun.’
They seed intent on using the gaming the well, adding humor through internet jokes.
And then the shooting ga Preliminary Group 1 match began in earnest.
With the dazzling booth lights characteristic of pro gar tournants, a “Woooaaah~” cheer was added.
[Yes! It has begun!]
As players descended by parachute, the match started.
The goal: survive 4 out of 20!
The idols’ fierce early competition for weapons played out, but the biggest focus was on the national idol’s ga-illiterate leader.
Bang! Tatatatatatang!
As gunfire rang out where he was heading, Sun Wooju quickly turned!
Wooju’s face, seated in the booth, turned ashen. He squird urgently, hamring the keys.
But.
"Ha ha ha ha ha!"
He was walking like a turtle.
Comnts flooded the screen.
-Did you know? Walking is healthier than running. That’s why I... cough...!
-(Gunfire echoing nearby)
-A man who doesn’t know the run key... his life expectancy is 10 seconds
-The grim reaper must be excited to get a newbie
As he desperately jumped while fleeing, viewers laughed themselves senseless.
Because of the square inset showing Wooju’s face below.
The peak of anxiety!
Gulping in the booth, frantically mashing keys—he looked exactly like soone who was terrible at gas.
[Ah! Sun Wooju has obtained a car at the mont I said that!]
Wooju got in the car, imdiately smashed into a guardrail and a tree. The car flew skyward, then tumbled down.
Viewers tumbled off their sofas too.
-ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
-Is this Back to the Future lol
-As a kid, I believed cars would fly soday (crash)
-Everyone, we have a car here that needs a runway
-Now it’s a car (past tense) lol
-That car is now lying next to ~
-Even cars can have insane movent huh
-Why is only Sun Wooju filming GTA lol
Kwah-gwang-gwang!
What Sun Wooju found after tumbling out of the car was another ans of transportation!
A three-seater motorcycle with a sidecar.
Bouncing with joy, Wooju tried to mount the bike, when a twin-tailed man chased after him.
[Rui from Lucky Girl! He’s in pursuit!]
The bottom of the screen showed both idols’ faces.
Wooju squirming desperately to get on the motorcycle, and Lucky Girl’s Rui, eyes wide, hamring the keyboard.
Just as everyone anticipated the clash to co!
[They’ve tead up!]
The twin-tailed man and the flower-patterned soldier rode along together, and viewers burst out laughing in unison.
On screen, Wooju stared blankly at the monitor.
And a girl group mber with pink hair and a cute face covered her mouth, her eyes unfocused.
‘This is insane. Seriously.’
Viewers laughed without resistance.
It was pure idiot play.
Soon, Wooju jumped into the water alone, trying to shake his opponent, then burst out and charged at the girl group mber.
[Sun Wooju! He has a very devious expression right now!]
[He’s going with ‘if I hit first, I win’!]
As Rui dodged the wildly swinging punches, he seed to realize sothing, his eyes widening.
[You can see it on Rui’s face—he’s realized that Wooju is a bottom-tier player!]
[Not just bottom-tier. He’s groundwater-tier!]
[From Rui’s perspective, those punches are basically kitty punches! He’s just swinging without hitting! They don’t hurt!]
[I wish my cat would do that too!]
Rui hamred the keyboard and landed a critical hit on Sun Wooju!
Wooju got hit in the head and started running away.
[We all had friends like that in school. They hit first, then when they lose, there’s nothing uglier.]
[No! But right now!]
At that mont!
‘Oh my.’
Sun Wooju faced a life-or-death crisis.
Kevin from AplusB ca roaring in on a motorcycle, firing tutatatang! gunshots.
And that motorcycle.
"Huh?"
Flew through the air and plunged off a cliff.
Viewers cried laughing.
-???: Uncle Hagrid? The motorcycle... the motorcycle!
-Hagrid: I left it behind in a new age
-ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
-Filming ET? lol
-Our Kevin debuted to beco a star... he really did beco a star in the sky
-Grim Reaper: But why isn’t this one coming yet? (scratch)
Kevin stared blankly at his monitor, then ran a trembling hand through his hair as the footage played.
At the sa ti, Sun Wooju laughed like a senior mocking a junior.
And viewers began to hope.
‘Is Sun Wooju actually going to advance?’
Having retreated to a safe zone in-ga, Wooju looked around the booth area.
He wore the expression of a suspicious old man.
[Ah! Sun Wooju is suspicious right now. He thinks this Dorlympics might actually be a hidden-cara prank!]
[Looks like he’s realized it’s not.]
Then he let out a scoff and put on an arrogant smile.
Just from his expression, he looked like a gaming god.
A face that said, I am today’s ga king!
Viewers let out incredulous laughter.
But that confidence was short-lived. As soon as Sun Wooju actually began to display his skills, he was imdiately hit by a grenade and eliminated.
And the kill log popped up.
[Kim Deoksun’s Man ☞ Kim Deoksun’s Man (Grenade)]
Kevin danced next to him, taunting with an ellelelele~, while Wooju stared off into the distant sky.
The elderly viewers watching TV sighed.
"Juseon really shouldn’t play gas."
"That’s not how you do it."
"Still, he’d probably throw a real grenade well. That’s enough."
A perfect finish at 5th place.
Viewers who’d been laughing nonstop from the start wiped tears from their eyes and coughed.
‘This is insane. I need to tell people to watch this.’
From there, word of mouth spread, viewers pouring in!
That was the reason this year’s Chuseok special Dorlympics beca a massive success.
"Pwahahahahaha!"
"Hahaha!"
"Look at that expression!"
The lackeys were clutching their bellies laughing at my teary-eyed expression on TV.
Articles were popping up in real ti.
Ignoring the lackeys rolling around beside , I searched on my phone with trembling hands.
There was only one way to soothe this humiliation.
"Public service announcent......."
"Hyung, what are you doing?"
"I need to appear in a public service announcent about ga addiction."
"Noooo!"
"What do you an no! If I can’t have it, I’ll destroy it! I’ll attack the ga industry...!"
As I was wrestling with the maknae clinging to my leg.
Bzzzz—
Seeing the incoming call, my anger lted away.
"Deoksun!"
My Deoksun!
She was definitely calling to comfort while I was sulking over my loss.
"Grandma...! Did you watch the broadcast?"
-I did.
But the stern face on the screen looked at with utter disdain.
Kim Deoksun shook her head.
-How can you be that bad?
"......."
-If you’re going to be that bad, you should’ve just used your own na. Why are you using soone else’s... ‘Kim Deoksun’s Man,’ my foot.
"......No, it’s just that."
-I’d do better than you. Honestly.
Beep.
And the call ended.
"Grandma?"
"Pwahahahahaha!"
"Grandma? No, Grandma? You can’t just hang up like that!"
"Hahahaha!"
I stared blankly at my phone, then scread, "Aaaah!" as the mbers’ laughter poured down on .
It was the most humiliating day of the year.
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