“I fail to see why I must be compelled to humour such an inane request.”
“Es. Espeon-es.”
“There is no value in fraternizing with humans. There is NEVER any value in fraternizing with humans.”
“Es? Espeon, es?”
“Why do I communicate in the human language then? I—” Why did he use human speech? Especially when dealing with another Pokemon. He himself was a Pokemon wasn’t he?
mories of a hazy past flitted through wtwo’s mind, of a starry night sky and a sea of lights. A girl, a bulbasaur, squirtle and charmander — the four of them soaring through the air, laughing and frolicking.
wtwo groaned and pressed a palm against his aching head. He was a Pokemon — a superior being! He need not bother with the banality of words, just a re thought was enough to convey the full breadth of his intent with no room for error, unlike the flimsy trappings of the human language.
So then why? Why did he bother to articulate his thoughts? Such inefficiency. Such… inanity!
A lighthearted laughter sounded, interrupting his crisis, a woman whose voice was like wind chis against the sumr breeze.
“Oh my… What do we have here? It’s good to see that you’re finally making so friends, wtwo~” Hikari spoke as she joined Espy and wtwo outside Blaine’s inn.
“Do not presu to intrude, HUMAN! This has nothing to do with you!”
“Aww… Don’t be grumpy, wtwo~ I’m just happy for you. So… wanna clue in on what’s going on, Espy?”
The Espeon rolled her eyes. Hikari used to be her favourite human back when she lived in Bill’s ranch — the woman was all of their favourite human — but after spending so much ti with Nina, she too had co to abhor the mystic’s floofiness.
“Es-es, espeon.”
“Ahh… a little escapade into Cinnabar City. That’s a great idea! wtwo can trick people into thinking you’re human and you’ll get to socialize with them on equal ground.” The woman nodded and clapped her hands together in childish delight.
“Nina isn’t due to wake up anyti soon anyway, so why not? Go for it! Mommy Hikari will even give you so pocket money to spend.”
“Es!” At the ntion of pocket money, Espy instantly lit up in a spitting image of her trainer, much to Hikari’s amusent.
“So, what do you say, wtwo?”
“Es! Espeon!”
The two females bore into the Legendary Pokemon with the intensity of a thousand suns, forcing sweat to drip from the pores of his brow.
***
And that was how wtwo found himself sitting in a human eatery amidst the bustling crowd of Cinnabar City.
“What can I get for you, sir?” asked the sycophant who approached their table — the human woman seed quite enamoured by him for so reason.
“That’s strange… Did I blunder in our disguise?” He had pulled his human guise from an image he found on a discarded magazine while Espy was currently obscured by a modified visage of her human, made to look younger and wearing a different attire.
The glamor wasn’t perfect, of course, more a trick to the feeble-minded than anything. Any competent Psychic may dispel it at a glance while Dark Type Pokemon were completely unaffected.
“Es! Espeon!” The Espeon cried with a bit of bite to her tone, clearly not anable to being so blatantly overlooked.
“Shuckle juice with an Eggs Royale. Gotcha.” The woman scribbled rapidly in her pad before turning her attention back to wtwo.
“I… What is that sll?” There was a rich and nutty aroma in the air, one that titillated at his senses and stimulated his brain.
“Es.”
“Ah. Coffee, is it? Then I shall have a cup of that to sample.”
“Of course, sir. What sort of blend would you like? We have quite a wide selection from Hoenn. And would you like sothing to go with your drink?”
wtwo frowned as his eyes flitted through the nu. He was unsure of what to pick and so settled with a house blend and deferred his choice of food.
“Es. Espeon-es.” With another series of cries, the Espeon sent the human server away and turned her gaze out the window, those twin tails swishing back and forth in an expression of mirth as she marvelled at the throng of humans — tourists — droning about aimlessly in pursuit of their next vice.
“Do you wish to beco one of them?”
“Es?”
“To be human?”
“Es.” The Espeon shook her head.
“Then why do this at all? Why pretend? Why learn to read their words? Why converse with them as equals?” There was an irony to wtwo’s question. After all, he was the one acting the most human between the two of them.
But if Espy was aware of the hypocrisy, she showed no indication of it, simply tilting her head in consideration the way that she had seen her human do thousands of tis before. “Espeon, es-es.”
“Culture? Sophistication? In what way does that appeal to you? As a matter of fact, why do you perceive human society as being culturally superior to that of Pokemon?”
Espy scoffed and transmitted a wave of amusent. The crux of her reply was to question in what way could a colony of wild Pokemon be considered cultured? She had seen that underwater city, she had seen what once was a society of Pokemon. No, those dregs in the wild could hardly be considered societal. They could scarcely be described as tribal, even.
“Es, espeon es.” What the humans built, with their clumsy hands and clunky machinery, was far more impressive. Art and cuisine — culture and beauty in unity, that was what Espy admired in the species, inferior though their biology may be.
“We could do the sa. Pokemon united as one, to build a world greater than any human could imagine. No longer would our kind be hunted, be fard for livestock.” wtwo’s fists clenched. “And be confined within those accursed spheres to do battle for their amusent!”
Espy scoffed. As a Pokemon, it was instinct for her to defer to those stronger than her. And wtwo was, unequivocally, stronger than her in every regard, both as a Psychic and as a Pokemon. Therefore, it was easy to overlook the fact that the wretched being before her had spent the majority of his life as a pitiful lab experint and the remainder either bound forcefully against his will or asleep in a nightmare.
In other words, the creature before her, intelligent though he may be, had the sa ntal maturity as one of Espy’s unevolved cousins back in the ranch. Only, wtwo was a lot worse, since his mind was tainted by that of humans, making him far more petulant than any Pokemon could ever be.
wtwo frowned. Espy had not made an effort to hide her thoughts, and so every shred of her disdain made it through to the wtwo’s mind in a single instant. This was, after all, one of the perks of being Pokemon that the latter had ntioned — perfect communication with no room for misinterpretation. This was doubly so for powerful Psychics like themselves.
“You mock . But do you truly relish in your bindings? To be so restricted that you are unable to roam freely of your own accord. Why else would you seek my aid? To solicit the ultimate Pokemon all so you may co sit here and—”
At this point, the waitress returned, a tray of refreshnts in hand.
Espy grinned as she levitated her glass to her mouth, to take a sip of the crimson liquid contained within. Her delicate feline features squinted as she relished in the deep and complex flavors that enveloped her tongue, tails swishing in delight before setting the vessel aside and telekinetically raising her utensils to cut into her plate of food — so sort toasted bread topped with slices of raw fish, eggs and a viscously yellow sauce.
wtwo snorted. It seed the Espeon was taking her human roleplay very seriously if what he read of her mind was any indication. “I can’t believe I got so worked up over a foolish child…” He huffed as he took a sip of his own beverage to cool his fervor.
However, the mont that he did, wtwo’s mind completely stopped in its tracks, stunned by the cornucopia of flavors assaulting his senses; a cloying bitterness rounded by a mildly acidic edge, each swish of his tongue against the brown liquid exhud intense notes of fruit, nuts and cacao to perfu his sinuses.
But more importantly, there was a tingling buzz running through his veins, a shot of wakefulness that pierced straight through the quagmire of his soul and brought color back into his world.
A pulse of intense mirth blew past his mind and wtwo looked up from his cup to see the insufferable visage of a smirking Espeon.
“Es.” Humanity, she said.
wtwo ended up ordering so food from the waitress. Or rather, Espy helped him decide on an order after getting fed up with how long he was taking on the nu.
***
After their al, wtwo was dragged back out onto the streets where his companion proceeded to flit in and out of every single store that caught her eye. From human clothing to Pokemon accessories to beauty products, of which they spent the most ti on.
Before they were even halfway through the avenue, wtwo found both his arms weighed down by a whole assembly of paper bags, prompting him to levitate them above their heads instead — the supernatural sight obfuscated from human perception, obviously.
“For the ultimate Pokemon to be reduced to a re beast of burden!” He scowled.
But Espy did not care, she just continued stringing him along until they reached a more sedate storefront, bereft of any tourists and hidden within a narrow alleyway covered in vine and moss. The sll it exuded, however, was irresistible; that sa fruity scent of caffeinated goodness that wtwo had been enjoying just a couple of hours prior.
“Ah, welco sir. What can I do for you today?”
The bespectacled human male who greeted the pair was a wiry sort; thin and lanky in a poorly ironed tweed suit. He seed amicable enough, with a feeble smile and warm eyes. wtwo, though, was not impressed by the man’s fragility.
“How could there be any dignity in such a creature?”
“Es. Espeon-es.”
From the outset, the human perceived a little girl shadowed by a dashingly handso father figure who walked up to the counter to explain her companion’s newfound fascination with the art of coffee making.
“Ahh… A budding connoisseur I see. It would be my pleasure to educate you on the fundantals of a good brew, my good sir. Co, co… Let give you an introduction.” The man beckoned for them to follow as he toured them around his shop; a narrow space filled with shelves of coffee beans in glass jars and various brewing implents for sale.
Espy appeared to have brought wtwo to a coffee supplier. Although, there were a couple of round tables near the window on which the occasional custor may sit to partake in the owner’s masterful skills.
“Now then, to brew a good cup of coffee, one must naturally begin with the appropriate selection of beans.” The man laid out a series of jars on the counter, ranging in color from green to beige and blonde to various shades of brown and black.
“From the left we have our lighter roasts, for those whose tastes are partial to a sharper, fruitier brew. The preferred way to really sample the terroir of the plant from which the bean was sourced.” He waved. “Near the middle, we have our dium roasts — the taphorical sweet spot for many where one tends to find a more balanced blend of complexity and richness…”
Another wave to the right. “And lastly, on the utmost end of the spectrum, we of course have our dark roasts; deep, rich and bitter, but also the most invigorating for those who prefer maximal kick, so to speak.”
wtwo listened with rapt attention, having unexpectedly been taken by the man’s quiet fervor.
“Now then, my good sir, do you have a preference in taste? Any particular flavor profile that appeals to you on the norm?”
“I…” The Psychic frowned. The question was a surprisingly tricky one. Throughout most of wtwo’s existence, he had rarely given much attention to the food he ate, let alone developed a preference for flavor. “The drink I had earlier… It reminded of the taste of Cheri…”
“Ah, so a fondness for spice then? Perhaps bolder and more complex flavors?”
“I enjoyed the bitterness of the drink as well. There was a faint nuttiness to it, like that of dried bark.”
The human nodded. “A dium roast it is.” With a flourish, he swept the majority of the jars off the counter, leaving only one behind — one that contained beans of a pale brown coloration. “These are beans from Alola, Akala Island more specifically, they are possessed of a distinctly peppery note thanks to the abundance of Fire Type Energy surrounding Wela Volcano.”
With a pop, the jar opened and the owner scooped a portion of beans onto a scale to be briefly weighed before transferring to an antique-looking wooden box with a handle attached. He then cranked the handle, relying on his senses to moderate the speed and strength of the grind to attain the perfect coarseness.
Once that was done, he removed a drawer from the base and tipped it towards wtwo for a sll, the alluring scent of freshly ground coffee wafting against his nose.
“I sll it, the spice of pepper.”
“How astute.” The man smiled as he lowered his reach for Espy to sll as well, then replaced the jar of beans with various brewing implents.
“There are many ways to brew coffee. But for a beginner who is also a frequent traveller, these are what I recomnd — all of which are available for sale as starter kits in our store.”
The first was a simple jug equipped with a tal sh and rod in the center. “A Kalosian press. Simply asure out the appropriate weight of grounds to hot water ratio, mix them within the vessel and allow to steep. Once tid, press down on the sh to separate the grounds and enjoy your brew — simple and elegant.”
The next one was a simple black cylinder with only a singular button on the side. “A more… automated solution to brewing coffee. In essence, a miniature espresso machine, though the water pressure leaves a little to be desired for such an implent. I would recomnd a coarser grind to that end. Simply take it apart like so, load your grounds here, your water here — tepid is fine for there are heating elents within — reassemble it and press the button. Only one cup at a ti unfortunately, but extrely portable for the purpose.”
wtwo frowned and shook his head at the abominable thing, eliciting light chuckles from the owner. There was just sothing too impersonal about the device.
“And finally, if you’re looking for ceremony, nothing beats the ritual of drip brewing coffee. A simple Swanna-neck kettle, flask and funnel — our starter kit will also include a packet of filters and a carrying pouch as well.” He then proceeded to put on a ticulous demonstration of appropriate drip brewing techniques.
“Again, very important to weigh your beans, especially at the start. Once you’ve brewed as many cups as I have though, it is possible to just get a feel for it.” Or if one was a Legendary-tier Psychic who could simply asure the granules with his mind.
“Ensure that the grounds are packed neatly but not too tight, like so.” The man spooned the appropriate portion into the folded filter. “Then, once your water has reached the correct temperature, pour it over in a swirling motion from the outside going in — very important to ensure complete saturation.” He demonstrated the motion with srizing grace, the grounds blooming like flowers in spring under his ticulous eye.
“You may also want to consider rinsing the vessel with so hot water and emptying it to preheat the flask, but I’ve also found it to be sowhat superfluous. And take your ti to soak every granule of the coffee and avoid oversaturating the filter. Drip brewing is all about patience and, as the na suggests, you must pause and allow it to drip on occasion before proceeding with subsequent rounds of pouring.”
wtwo nodded in spite of himself, utterly raptured by the man’s calm voice and elegant motions. Until finally, the brew was ready, its delicious sll having well and truly perated the air around them.
“Precisely two cups with not a drop to spare.” The man pronounced with artisanal pride. “A scale is unfortunately not included in the starter kit, but it is relatively inexpensive. We have one that doubles as a stove for your kettle as well. And if you wish to grind your own beans, which I do recomnd since whole beans tend to last longer, you may want to consider purchasing a portable grinder as well — we have a large selection on offer.”
wtwo’s eyes shuttered as he took a sip of his proffered cup, a beautiful symphony of earth, spice and flowers dancing around his tongue, like Bellossoms on the sandy shores of Alola.
“Espeon, es.” Espy urged, an irascible smugness radiating from her every being.
wtwo twitched, then sighed. “Very well, I shall purchase a set of these implents and a supply of beans, along with any accompanying accessories you might recomnd.”
The man bead. “Pleasure to be of service. And as a first ti custor, I’ll even include a generous discount on the beans as well. Consider it a welco gift to the colorful world of coffee making.”
“Es.” Humanity, Espy said once more.
wtwo groaned.
***
Author's note:
Yes, I might have projected a little too hard with this chapter.
No, I do not regret it.
slinktr.ee/zebraunicorn
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