As the first rays of morning sunlight spilled into the ancient, fog-shrouded city of London, our protagonist, Allen, stepped out of the orphanage with a wand in one hand and a suitcase in the other, full of energy and excitent.
Today was unlike any other day, Allen was setting off to a school he had never seen before, but had long dread of attending: Hogwarts.
But Allen's purpose wasn't quite the sa as the other young wizards. No, today he had a special mission: to find one particular wizard, Harry Potter.
Unlike most students, Harry wasn't just another classmate. He was more like a rare and valuable resource hidden within the magical world. Befriending Harry could unlock countless opportunities, hidden quests, secret locations, and even access to legendary areas such as Hagrid's Hut, the Forbidden Forest, Dumbledore's Office, the fabled Chamber of Secrets, the girls' bathroom haunted by Moaning Myrtle, Fred and George's secret passageways, and more.
But Allen had been waiting around for a long ti, and Harry, the boy who couldn't find the platform, still hadn't shown up. The date was right, September 1st. The place was right, Platform 9¾. Yet, not a sign of the boy or his famously annoying relatives.
Even if Harry was elusive, his oversized cousin Dudley and thunderous Uncle Vernon should have been easy to spot!
Just as Allen was about to give up and board the train without him, a gentle female voice called from behind.
"Oh dear, are you having trouble finding the platform, young man?"
Allen turned around and saw a plump, kindly-faced woman smiling warmly. Behind her stood three red-haired boys, and in each of her hands, she held another younger red-haired child. Allen noticed that the boy on her right was struggling to break free of her grasp, without success.
Bowing slightly, Allen replied, "Yes, ma'am. I seem to have lost my way and can't quite find the entrance."
He already knew who they were, the Weasleys, of course. Who else had that many red-haired children in one place? This also ant Harry must be nearby. After all, in the original story, it was right here that he t the Weasleys for the first ti.
"Percy, take care of your brothers. You lead the way. Fred, George, no mischief! Mind your big brother at school!" Mrs. Weasley then turned back to Allen. "Co now, dear, follow along with them."
She tightened her grip on the boy on her right, Ron, who was trying to break free to follow his older brothers.
"Ron, don't rush! You're not old enough yet!" she warned sternly. Then she glanced back at the twins. "And as for you two, if you end up in Slytherin, your father says you'll be spending the sumr holidays sleeping in the attic with the ghoul!"
Wait… what?
Ron's not old enough yet?!
Allen froze.
One of the golden trio… wasn't even going to Hogwarts this year?!
What kind of butterfly effect was this? Allen had only entered the wizarding world a month ago!
Then it hit him.
Yes, the Hogwarts letter had co. And yes, this was the real Weasley family. But the tiline wasn't what he thought it was!
Nowhere in the acceptance letter did it say this was Harry Potter's first year.
rlin's beard... I may have crossed into the wrong Harry Potter...
Still, Allen found a small silver lining. At least Harry would have to suffer two more years of Dudley's bullying while Allen got a head start at Hogwarts.
Not that Allen was heartless, but let's face it, everything hurts more in comparison, and he wasn't the one sleeping in a cupboard.
So, dear Harry, still curled up under the stairs, I shall pray to rlin for you from the Hogwarts Express. May you encounter fewer spiders, take fewer beatings, and get to eat just a little more. rlin's underpants.
On the other side of the barrier was an entirely new world. A deep red steam engine, a freshly polished platform, and a bustle of witches and wizards. The sll of magic filled the air, unlike anything in the Muggle world.
Smoke from the train curled over the crowd. Cats of every color weaved between feet. The buzz of conversation mingled with the screeching of owls and the dragging of heavy luggage.
Led by Percy, they squeezed onto the train and found so empty seats. Even before their trunks were properly stored, the kids were leaning out the window to wave goodbye to Mrs. Weasley, who was still trying to keep the younger ones under control.
Once the luggage was in place and introductions were made, Percy began preaching to his younger brothers. Even now, you could tell he was born to be a prefect, he just needed the current one to graduate.
Strangely, unlike the mischievous twins of the books, Fred and George were uncharacteristically quiet, obedient, even. They looked paler than usual, like they were dreading sothing.
Allen quickly realized what might be going on.
The Sorting Ceremony.
He sighed for Ron's future. The poor kid had two older brothers ahead of him, two brothers who looked like they were already planning so payback.
See, every Hogwarts graduate seed to share one unspoken agreent: never reveal how the Sorting Ceremony works. And it wasn't just limited to older siblings, entire families upheld this twisted tradition.
Even moirs conveniently skipped the details. And once a kid received their Hogwarts letter, all the adults went into full-blown deception mode.
From tales of giant wolves eating crybabies to wild magical creatures testing courage, older siblings spun story after story until there were probably enough versions to fill a whole book.
Naturally, those who were tricked would carry on the tradition by crafting even darker, scarier versions for the next poor soul.
Allen, for one, fully supported this noble cause.
So, as Percy enthusiastically began his traditional storytelling, Allen played along, his acting skills in full swing.
From their compartnt, the occasional overheard lines floated out:
"Wow, Percy, I heard the rookie mortality rate is five percent?"
"You an... if you don't outrun five werewolves, you don't even get to enroll?"
"Oh rlin, Percy, and then they cut the group in half?! That's terrifying!"
It worked beautifully. The twins' faces grew paler by the second.
Was it fun?
Allen asked himself, and then grinned.
No, it wasn't just fun. It was absolutely hilarious.
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