She pressed more with her broken voice and a face completely different from the one she usually wore. A face that Jax himself wasn’t able to register as belonging to the girl he knew.
"But Professor, I am not a weapon. And I don’t want to be treated like one." Her words trembled. "I am a person. I have emotions too. I have my own desires. I can have feelings too like the one that’s eating alive right now. This jealousy that I don’t even know why it’s..."
Tears started forming in her eyes. She looked at him with a face so pathetic, so stripped of every layer of pride she had ever carried, that it looked like soone else entirely.
"See this?" She pointed at her own face. "I can’t rember the last ti I cried. And that’s all your fault, you scum."
Her voice cracked further.
"I don’t even understand what’s happening to . I’ve tried. I’ve sat alone in my room replaying every single interaction we’ve had and I still can’t put a na to this thing inside my chest."
She pressed her palm against her sternum as if trying to reach whatever was rotting inside.
"The more I look at you, the more I interact with you, the more I just want to be close to you. And in response, all I get is more distance. With my power I could have gotten everything I feel jealous of. I could have gotten the ti with you. I could have bounded you as my slave or soone only mine. And if things didn’t work out, if you still drove insane, I would have thrown you away from my life. From this land."
Her voice dropped. "But I couldn’t even do that."
A painful smile crept onto her face.
"I called it foolish. Called the sa thing foolish that I used to be prideful of. The sa thing I had done so many tis to people who crossed my path without a second thought. But you were different. And the feeling we carried was different too."
She swallowed.
"I knew sothing was wrong with . I knew you were using so kind of magic against . The kind I warned others about. Magic that draws soone into your presence. Or even without your presence."
She wiped her tears roughly with the back of her hand.
"Your magic started to corrode when I realized I didn’t respond to your insults by punishing you. In fact, there was a ti I smiled at your mocking. Forget the past, today itself I don’t know why I was craving just one more teasing. Just one more insult that would make say I hate you when you weren’t showing up."
She looked at the sky. Her eyes glistening against the evening light.
"I always said that I hate you. But in reality, I never did. Hating you would have made things so much simpler. Despite everything you did to . Every insult. Every ti you looked at with that distant eye like I was so problem child. Instead of hating it, I was enjoying it."
A broken laugh left her. "How foolish of , isn’t it?"
She lowered her gaze back to him.
"I had so many questions. What makes you that special? What makes lose myself like this? Is it just because you’re the first person to talk to the way you do? Is it because you don’t treat like a noble, or so trouble, or an asset like everyone else does? Or is it sothing else entirely?"
Her voice hardened with frustration.
"All of this makes lose my mind. And I can’t keep going like this. I can’t keep watching you give pieces of yourself to everyone else while I get nothing."
Silence fell after her words.
Jax looked at her. At the utterly broken form standing in front of him. The tears. The sobbing. The emotions she had been burying for god knows how long finally erupting out of every crack in her armor.
He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her. Pulled her into his chest. Her face buried against him and her body shuddered with the sobs she had been fighting. His hand rested on the back of her head, gently patting her hair.
"I’m sorry, Astrid." His voice ca out quieter than she had ever heard it. "I’m sorry that I failed you. As a teacher. No, as a person. I failed to see what my own student was going through."
He held her for a mont longer. Then loosened his grip and stepped back just enough to look at her face.
"Tell what you want from . Tell how I can pay for my mistake."
She went silent. Even her sobbing died in an instant. Her mind was working. Processing. Turning over every possible answer.
Then her expression said it all. She had found the best possible answer she could muster.
"Ti."
Jax blinked. "Ti?"
"With you." She t his eyes. "Just ti. Where there’s no one else except us. No class or tournant drama. No student-teacher formalities. No other students pulling you in ten different directions."
Her voice went firm.
"I want to understand what this is. What I’m going through. Why your presence does this to . Why your absence makes it worse. I can’t figure it out alone. I’ve tried. It doesn’t work."
She took a breath.
"I want you to open up to . Not the professor. But the person I saw in that demon realm dungeon. The one who was completely different. The one that keeps appearing in my dreams again and again."
Then her cheeks flushed. Red spreading across her face like a wildfire she couldn’t contain. She looked embarrassed. Mortified even. But she pushed through it.
"So I want a... I want..."
She swallowed hard.
"A date."
And there it was. The peak of what the world calls embarrassnt. A color so red it consud her entire face, crawled up her neck, and turned even her ears into burning signals of humiliation.
She started panicking imdiately. "Not a date! I an just two people talking alone without the whole world watching or interrupting or existing. That’s technically not a date. That’s a strategic debrief."
She barely glanced at Jax’s confused face before trying to correct herself further. "What I an is—"
But Jax cut in. "Tomorrow evening."
Her mouth froze mid-word. "...What?"
"I’ll clear my schedule tomorrow evening. And if you have a problem with tomorrow, we can schedule our strategic debrief for later."
Astrid couldn’t believe it. She needed to confirm. "You’re agreeing? Just like that? You didn’t even mock or tease for my pathetic situation."
Jax gave her a clean chop on the top of her head.
"You sure like getting insulted. I’ve only heard about these kinds of kinks from rumors."
She pouted. The pout that brought back the Astrid he recognized. And with it, a smile returned to his face.
"And as for agreeing, why wouldn’t I? I can’t see my student in pain. Also, you’ve accumulated enough points for to face Zharina on the leaderboard. So consider it a bonus."
The warmth that had been building in Astrid’s chest was imdiately interrupted by a tournant staff mber approaching them.
"Lady Aleris, your next match will begin in five minutes. You are requested to appear at the inspection hall imdiately."
She nodded. Turned to follow him. But her left hand was grabbed from behind.
Jax held it gently. Turned it over. Scanned the wound that had been patched to a certain extent but still looked painful. Bloody gauze wrapped around the palm where the blade had cut deep.
He looked at it and said. "Don’t fight stupid. And show up in one piece. I can’t take damaged goods on a strategic debrief."
He let her hand go.
She started following the staff. Then looked over her shoulder with a smile that carried more life than anything she had shown in days.
"I can’t guarantee that. I’ll be farming maximum points by winning this final."
And she was gone.
After so ti, Astrid and her opponent stood in the arena. The seats were packed. The crowd was buzzing. Two of the most popular girls in the academy were standing on the stage and everyone wanted to see the final clash even after knowing what the result might be.
Astrid’s opponent was a final-year student. The youngest person ever chosen as an apprentice by the head of the Mage Tower. She was from Zharina’s roster, pulled into the tournant through Zharina’s tricks despite having no interest in competing.
And she was guaranteed to win this match. Even if Astrid wasn’t injured.
The girl scanned Astrid’s condition. The bandaged hands. The cuts. The exhaustion written across every inch of her body.
"I don’t think you can fight like this. If you push forward in your condition, you’ll only make it worse for your body."
Her voice was calm. Analytical. The voice of soone who had already calculated the outco.
"You don’t stand a chance against . Not in the state you’re in. So it would be better—"
Astrid cut her off with a grin. The kind that had been missing from her face for days.
"It isn’t just you. Every fool watching us is nursing the exact sa fantasy."
She rolled her injured wrist and cracked her neck.
"But you have my word. I will not even allow you the dignity of reaching my shadow, let alone my level."
In the VIP box above the arena, every word was heard. Every detail was being watched even the heated mont between the teacher and student. The sight of a daughter who had been falling apart now standing with a fire that hadn’t been there an hour ago.
Astrid’s father stood at the glass. His expression was unreadable and beside him, Sylvie watched the sa scene with a knowing look.
She leaned toward him and said. "Did you hear that?"
-x-X-x-
[A/N: Please check the notes below.]
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