MATED TO FATHER, FATED TO SONS Chapter 30: THE FATHER

AMARIS

I hated my father.

That was one truth I had co to terms with. Whatever daddy issues that seed to be going on in my life right now and the need for outward validation was linked to him.

He made feel small, irrelevant and useless. He always reminded how he never wanted and I was a mistake.

But there was this one ti, when he ca back from a battle and had won and was happy, I ca to greet him and he bragged about to his friends how beautiful I was.

"She looks like a fucking goddess, don’t you think?" He had smiled and his friend nodded in agreent .

Then he added, "Which of you would like to fuck her," his eyes darkened. He was clearly drunk but those lustful sick fuck called n were about to pounce on like vultures.

I had to run and hide in my room that night.

But this sick thing about that night was that whenever I think of it, I don’t rember it as the night that my Father had offered for sex to his friends like a prostitute to celebrate victory.

No, I rembered it as the night he called beautiful and that I looked like a goddess. That is how fucked up I was.

Now standing here at the news of his death.

I thought about the belt, about standing naked in the courtyard, about all the tis he had looked at like I was sothing disgusting he had scraped off his shoe. I thought about the dungeon, the starvation, the casual cruelty that had shaped every day of my life until I was sent here.

He was gone and I was supposed to feel sothing but all I felt was numb.

"Amaris," Corvin’s voice cut through the fog in my head. "Did you hear ?"

I looked up at him and his face was still unreadable but there was a tension in his shoulders that had not been there before, like he was waiting for to break down or scream or do sothing that would require him to deal with emotions he clearly had no interest in dealing with.

"Yes," I managed, my voice coming out flat and empty. "I heard you."

"The funeral was this morning," he added, and that piece of information hit differently because it ant while I had been here, while Ryker had his hands between my legs and I had been falling apart for entirely different reasons, my father had been lowered into the ground and covered with dirt.

I had not been there, I had not said goodbye, not that I would have known what to say if I had been given the chance.

"Why didn’t you tell sooner?" I asked, and I genuinely wanted to know because it seed like the kind of thing you told soone before their father was already buried.

Corvin shifted his weight and for a second he almost looked human, almost looked like a man who had made a decision he was not entirely comfortable with. "Because I did not want you distracted before the engagent," he answered honestly. "You need to be focused tomorrow, you need to perform your role correctly, and grief makes people unpredictable."

Of course, everything ca back to duty and performance and making sure I did not embarrass him in front of his pack. My father was dead and Corvin’s main concern was whether I could smile pretty enough at a party.

"Darius," I repeated, letting the na sit heavy on my tongue. My oldest brother, the one who had locked in closets and laughed while I scread to be let out, the one who used to trip during training and then report for being clumsy.

He was Alpha now and that ant the Stormshadow pack was in even worse hands than before because at least my father’s cruelty had limits, Darius had always been creative with his.

"He will be bringing his Beta and a few pack mbers tomorrow," Corvin explained, moving back toward the door like this conversation was over whether I was ready for it to be over or not. "You will greet them appropriately and you will not cause a scene."

"Appropriately," I echoed, and a laugh bubbled up in my throat that tasted like hysteria. "My father just died and you want to smile at my brother like we are one big happy family."

Corvin turned to look at and his eyes were cold again, any hint of discomfort gone. "I want you to do your job," he corrected. "Your personal feelings about your family are irrelevant to your role here."

He opened the door and stepped into the hallway but paused before leaving completely, his hand still on the doorfra.

"And Amaris," he added without looking back at . "Tomorrow you represent , you represent this pack, so whatever grief you are feeling, whatever anger, keep it buried until after the guests leave. Do you understand?"

"Yes Alpha Corvin," I responded automatically, the words coming out like they had been programd into from birth.

He left without another word and I stayed on the floor listening to his footsteps fade down the hallway. The room was too quiet and too bright and I could not decide if I wanted to cry or laugh or scream so I just sat there staring at nothing while my brain tried to process that my father was gone.

Dead n did not hurt you, dead n could not drag you into courtyards or swing belts or call you mistakes.

But dead n also could not apologize, could not change, could not look at you one day and decide maybe you were worth loving after all.

Not that my father ever would have but so stupid broken part of had always held onto that possibility like it was sothing precious.

Now that possibility was buried six feet under and I was alone with a pack of wolves who wanted to use and a mate bond that felt more like a curse than a blessing and an engagent party tomorrow where I would have to smile at my brother and pretend everything was fine.

My father was dead and I did not know if I was an orphan or finally free.