At first, there were many discrepancies I couldn’t quite understand.
For instance, how was it that Margaret, who had arrived here before , had only lived through two years in this realm while I had endured nearly three, maybe even four?
Eventually, I reached a conclusion.
Ti was relative. It didn’t flow the sa for the both of us. While I experienced my own hardships, the more I looped, the quicker I died. Margaret, on the other hand, always restarted at her beginning point.
But within this space, sothing changed.
Since my arrival, the loops started bending. Unknowingly, Margaret had begun to regress simply to find .
As a result, her cycle always brought her back to a specific mont. When the cabin had been fully built, and I was there waiting.
While she looped, I waited.
I waited alone, for months on end, preparing everything for the current progression, fleeing from Aetherion before my death flags caught up to .
And during that ti, I ca to a painful realization. An undeniable truth that made everything all the more absurd.
Fate worked in mysterious ways. So unpredictable... so cruelly ironic, to the point of bordering on madness.
Because I, Vanitas Astrea, was always ant to be here.
Caught in a paradoxical loop. Bound to et Margaret Illenia again and again.
I, both as a child and as an adult, was the one who had once saved her during the fall of Illenia.
And I was also the one who had caused it.
She had crossed the thresholds of reality, adrift between dinsions, and sohow, so version of had pulled her into this tragedy.
To put things in perspective...
I was not the first Vanitas Astrea to exist in this space.
And through what I’d pieced together, I could only conclude that, in so form or another, I had been the reason for Margaret’s eternal suffering.
Not , exactly. But another variant of in this plane. Another Vanitas.
A predecessor I had unknowingly replaced and continued the very cycle he began.
It was who had killed her parents.
It was who had brought Illenia to ruin.
And it will be , soon, who will et his end at the edge of Margaret’s blade.
In simpler terms, this quest was none other than my real death flag. If the groundwork I’d laid had even remotely a single flaw, I knew, without a doubt, that this would be the end of .
However, I could only hope desperately.
"Why couldn’t you just... leave alone?" Margaret’s voice cracked. Her expression contorted with colorful emotions.
"In this place," I said, "you will die. Again and again. You will never be truly happy here. There is no such thing as paradise for a single person. Even if I’m gone... the result will always be the sa."
Her eyes narrowed. Her voice trembled.
"....Who are you to tell that?"
Who was I to tell her that?
Soone who had died hundreds of tis just to find and wait for her.
"...All the tis we spent, in that small cabin... was it all just a lie?"
I closed my eyes for a mont at her words.
"Why?" she asked, tears welling in her eyes. "Why are you here to tear everything down?! Why are you tornting ...!"
"I’m not," I said, taking a step forward. "But you built everything here on sothing broken. And you keep trying to patch it with dreams that weren’t ant to last."
"...."
Margaret flinched, but she didn’t look away. "You’re saying I should just forget them? Let them die again? Vanitas, these are my people! They’re my family!"
"Move on, Margaret."
"...."
"You can’t keep dying with them," I said. "Let the dead rest. Let them go. This world... it isn’t ant for you."
"...."
Her lips parted, but no words ca out. Her fingers clenched into fists at her sides.
"This world is a graveyard dressed in flowers," I continued. "You think it’s paradise because you see familiar faces. But every ti you open your eyes here, you’re drowning, Margaret. And you don’t even see it anymore."
She turned her face away, a sob breaking from her throat.
"If you stay here... you’ll lose yourself."
"I already have."
Then she snapped.
"You have no idea what I endured," she said.
Her voice shook, and she stared at with tear-filled eyes, her words trembling at the edge of despair.
"Mocked in a workplace where my worth was asured by my gender. If you hadn’t stepped in, I was certain my Order would’ve disbanded long ago."
Her breath caught, but she didn’t stop.
"They laughed at my holand. Illenia, reduced to nothing more than a village. A village with delusions, they said. A kingdom of dirt and dreams. I heard it behind my back. Even to my face. I heard them mock it. My birthplace, my people... everything I ever loved—"
Her voice cracked, and she clutched her chest as if to hold her heart from breaking any further.
"You have no idea, Vanitas. No idea what it’s like to walk with pride and have it spat back at you...."
"...."
"....You probably knew too," she said, her voice trembling. "How could you not? But I can’t even bla you. You were better off ignoring it than pretending to care."
I was silent.
Because what could I say?
Even I had no idea this ever happened.
But even then...
"You swore an oath," I finally said.
"...."
"Just like you swore to be my sword... I swore to be the one standing behind you."
She looked up, confused at my words.
"....What are you saying?"
I took a breath and looked her in the eye.
"If I gave you the heads of every fool who dared to spew such nonsense...."
"...."
"Would you be convinced of my sincerity?’
Her eyes widened.
"Margaret," I said, stepping closer, "will you feel less anxious if I burn everything in Aetherion to the ground?"
"...."
I reached out and gently took her hand. Margaret didn’t refuse.
It was then.
Crackle———!
A jagged bolt of lightning ripped through my chest before I could even react.
Straight through the heart.
"V-Vanitas!"
Blinking, I stumbled back as the world seed to be tilting on its axis. My vision blurred.
One half, I could see Illenia’s gradual collapse, and with the other eye, I saw Margaret’s silhouette.
"Vanitas...!" she cried again, rushing forward to catch as I collapsed.
Her trembling arms wrapped around . I could feel the warmth of her tears falling on my shoulder.
"Now, it’s your turn."
"Vanitas, please!"
"Find ."
I gave her one final smile before letting my eyes close
"Vanitas!"
It was just one of the many trump cards I had left in play..
* * *
With the fall of Illenia, Margaret’s downfall had beco inevitable.
She had wrestled with herself, uncertain whether it was truly right to leave this place behind.
No matter how many tis she asked herself, she couldn’t find a clear answer. So, she made her way back, hoping for one final conversation with Vanitas to guide her toward clarity.
But when she arrived at the small cabin....
"...."
Once again, he was nowhere to be found.
"....You said to co find you."
Even the furniture had vanished, as if it had never existed in the first place.
"Is this what you ant...?"
Margaret slowly walked around the cabin and paused.
"...."
The mark she had once left on the wood from a mont she’d lost control of her aura was gone. As if it had never existed.
"Liar."
He had told her this place was outside the looping contingencies of Illenia. That it remained unaffected.
"Why didn’t you tell ...."
She turned toward his room and pushed open the door.
Unlike the rest of the cabin, it was still furnished. But the thick layer of dust in the room made it clear it had been abandoned for a long ti.
"Didn’t he say... he built this cabin himself?"
The pieces clicked all at once. Why hadn’t she realized it earlier?
While it was certainly possible for soone, especially with magic, to construct a cabin like this in a week, the signs of neglect were too strong to ignore.
"This cabin... it’s been here for a long while."
Whether or not he built it himself didn’t matter anymore. What mattered was that this place had existed far longer than she’d thought.
And even in abandonnt, signs of him were still present; forgotten books, a dusty coat draped over a chair. So on and so forth.
"He’s been here... for a long while."
Her knees weakened.
Vanitas hadn’t been looping in sync with her. He hadn’t been arriving at the sa points in ti.
He had been waiting for her... from before she even began.
Her voice cracked. Her chest tightened.
"For how long...?"
How long had he waited?
How many tis had he sat alone in this cabin, looking out the window, waiting for her to appear?
How many tis had he died alone, just to wait for her again?
Tears welled in her eyes, blurring the room around her as she stepped forward. Her hand brushed against the desk, saring away the dust.
Pulling open the drawer, Margaret paused.
There was a single, dusty notebook inside. Whether it was deliberately left behind or not, she was unsure. But perhaps he had left it as a clue regarding his whereabouts.
Margaret slowly pulled it open and froze.
"...."
[Loop 1.
I wasn’t sure whether what I was seeing was real. But this place truly was another reality...]
It was a journal.
Margaret’s hands tightened around the cover as a chill ran down her spine.
[The jail cell was cold. Fucking cold.
While writing this, I don’t even rember most details.
I just rember being starved to death, waiting for my death...]
It shattered her heart.
Vanitas had written of his first loop. The agony of waking in a prison cell, branded a traitor. How he’d been locked away in an underground prison. Not because of enemies, but because of Charlotte, his own sister, who had implicated him.
"....Why didn’t you tell ?"
Her fingers flipped through the pages. Her breath grew shaky as she scanned each one.
[I don’t even rember the details of this day.
In fact, I don’t even rember how many days it actually was.
But it wouldn’t hurt to write whatever thoughts I had...]
Flip—
[This is a day I can never forget.
The day I was executed in front of the masses.
I could never truly comprehend why I was sentenced to death when there were criminals who deserved it more than .]
She clutched the journal to her chest.
The words blurred, ink smudged by her own tears.
Loop 2... it was even more disheartening. He had written of nothing but drifting listlessly toward death. The first loop seed to have truly shattered him.
She could feel it in every word.
Flip—
[Loop 20.
I sought to understand whatever’s ant to happen.
This loop marks the start of when I truly began writing this journal...]
The entry chronicled his journey through his sixth loop. From what was written, everything should’ve gone right. And yet, he had still been condemned. This ti, for the murder of the Imperial Queen.
Margaret’s breath caught in her throat.
"...."
She couldn’t even begin to comprehend it. How could that even be possible?
Flip— Flip—
[Loop 45.
I don’t understand. Whenever I finally Margaret her, it all cos crashing down.]
The ache in her chest deepened.
"You’re such a liar...."
Flip— Flip—
[Loop 97.
I’m so tired, for fuck’s sake.
For how many tis have I seen familiar faces wanting to kill ?
For how many tis will I see their faces before my death?!
Margaret’s hands trembled.
Vanitas had died over and over, only to be t with the sa betrayals, the sa accusations. Even the people he loved had turned on him in these twisted versions of realities.
And still, he had searched for her.
Her tears fell freely now, soaking into the pages of docunted sufferings.
[Loop 114.
I had done everything right. And it’s my first ti ever witnessing it. The end of the world.]
Loop 270. Loop 322. Loop 367. Loop 409. Loop 488.
Each one marked another tragedy. Another failure, and another end.
For how many tis had he looped?
It was impossible to tell anymore. He had stopped numbering the lesser loops altogether. Instead, he had only begun to record the ones that carried significant events.
[Loop 532.]
She paused, reading slowly.
"Why did you lie to ...?"
Her vision blurred with tears once more.
"I didn’t need your consideration...."
Margaret clutched the journal tightly to her chest, unable to hold back the sob that escaped her lips.
"You were hurting more than I ever was...."
So many loops. So much pain.
He had borne all of it silently.
And she hadn’t even known.
Her fingers trembled as she neared the end of the notebook, flipping to the final page.
[Loop 569.
I finally reached you.
This ti, I won’t lose you.
I know how much you suffered as well.
And so, I will wait for you until the mont you tell you’re ready to leave this place with .]
Margaret pressed her hand to the page.
From all the clues gathered so far, she was certain of his whereabouts now.
Without wasting another second, Margaret clutched the notebook tightly to her chest and stepped out of the cabin.
"This ti..."
It was her turn to find him.
* * *
I had left the notebook behind on purpose.
When Margaret’s emotions were at their peak, she would be most vulnerable to sympathy, and I intended to use that.
Maybe it was manipulative. Maybe it was scummy, to a certain degree. But I didn’t care about my thods. I never had, in the first place.
The truth was, I didn’t even rember most of the loops I’d gone through. They were too painful for to reminisce about.
But I knew, if I exaggerated just enough, if I twisted the right truths and sprinkled in just the right amount of lies, she would believe it.
She wouldn’t doubt .
Not when her heart was in pieces.
And with that, I was certain she would find .
"...I should see a therapist after this."
I let out a quiet breath.
I wasn’t even sure if I’d walk out of this place a sane man anymore.
——Vanitas!
And from the distance, I heard her voice.
Of course she found .
How could she not?
This was the place where we once stargazed together, sharing dinner under the aurora sky.
The sa spot where I saw her accidentally activate her stigmata while practicing. That mont confird my suspicions. Margaret had no intention of showing everything.
She would keep secrets.
And she would try to keep here.
That was when I realized my thods had been flawed.
In trying to protect her fragile heart, I’d only extended my stay here.
But it was fine.
Even if it made her emotionally dependent on , I didn’t care anymore. I would use her if I had to.
She was the perfect weapon that would safeguard the death flags to ever reach .
"Margare—Ukh!"
Before I could finish, she collided into my chest, wrapping her arms tightly around in an embrace. Her sudden force knocked the air out of my lungs, but I didn’t resist.
"You liar... You’re such a liar..." she choked out, burying her face against .
Her voice trembled, muffled against my coat. I could feel the heat of her tears seeping through the fabric.
"And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry..." she gasped, her breath hitching as more tears fell. "Because of ... you..."
I placed a hand gently on her back. She looked up at . I could see the desire in her eyes.
Even I knew it would turn out this way.
"Vanitas...."
"I understand," I murmured. "But first, let’s get out of he—"
Before I could finish, sothing warm pressed against my lips.
"....!"
Margaret rose on her heel to et our difference in height, and in that mont, her mouth found mine in a kiss that stole whatever breath I had left.
It was a deep kiss with all the pain and longing she had held back, and all the things we could never say with words.
I was taken aback, if only for a mont.
Though... if I had to be honest, ever since I made this plan, I had always expected it would end like this.
What happened after that, I couldn’t rember. It was all a blur.
The only thing I knew for certain was that the next ti I opened my eyes, we were already there in the rivers of fate.
"Vanitas... let’s leave this place. Together. Let’s go ho."
I t her gaze and nodded.
"Yes."
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