Karina’s identity as Vanessa was dead.
But like a phantom, Karina continued to observe Vanitas Astrea closely. She watched him, waiting to see how that fateful event would change his life.
For one, it broke him.
Vanitas took a leave from the University Tower for three months, shutting himself away and drowning in alcohol.
"That’s not good for you... Professor..."
Karina already knew the answer to that, even as she said it to no one.
In a way, they were alike. Just as Karina had once confused attachnt for abuse, Vanitas Astrea had been deeply attached to the Empress.
And so, when she died, sothing inside him snapped all at once.
For Karina, it was a depressing sight.
To think that the all-powerful Professor, the man who seed almost omniscient, the person she had relied on more than anyone else back then, could end up so pitiful.
"...."
The number of tis Karina nearly stepped in the mont he attempted to end his life. Even Karina, for all her experiences, couldn’t help but be affected ntally by this. So much so that a part of her began to regret her actions thus far.
But despite everything, Vanitas managed to recover slowly but steadily and returned to his duties.
Just like that, four years passed.
* * *
"The sequence of events is still all wrong..."
From what Karina rembered, Charlotte had moved into the dormitories within the first month of her first year. That alone had triggered a spiral of events that eventually led Desmond Wyndale to set his sights on her roommate, Cassandra.
"....."
Yet none of that happened.
Instead, the focus of his malice was directed toward Charlotte, and Charlotte alone.
But Karina didn’t intervene. Interfering blindly would only invite another source of anomaly. Information had to co first. Before she could act, she needed to understand where this divergence had begun, of what had twisted the course of events so completely.
To solve the problem, she had to trace it back to the root cause.
"What is it...? What am I missing?"
This was the earliest point where Karina had once been trapped, back then, with no solution in sight.
No matter how many angles she examined, there had been no clear answer.
It had been so unbearable that it beca the very reason she chose to beco Vanessa in the first place, forcing herself into history just to make sure the flow of events aligned the way it was supposed to.
And yet, in the end, the outco had not changed.
Vanitas Astrea was still captured by the authorities, accused of murdering Desmond in cold blood after Charlotte Astrea’s death.
"So that’s how it happens..."
Karina had never witnessed it directly before. But now, she finally understood.
Through a slow and cruel chain of events, Desmond had cornered Charlotte Astrea until there was nowhere left to run.
And in the end, Charlotte had taken her own life.
"Tsk."
Karina clicked her tongue.
And with that, she returned once again.
This ti, she did not start from zero. Drawing upon the frequencies she had accumulated over all these years, Karina rewound herself to a point where her efforts would not be erased.
A failsafe that preserved everything she had already endured, rather than discarding it all in another reckless reset.
Thankfully, she had twenty years’ worth of accumulated frequencies waiting to be spent.
This ti, Karina implanted the idea herself. By subtly slipping a dormitory application form into Charlotte’s locker, she nudged the choice forward.
"...."
But Charlotte did not take the bait.
"Why?"
It made no sense. In the original tiline, it had been Charlotte who wanted to move into the dormitories. And yet now, with the opportunity handed to her on a silver platter, she refused.
In the end, it happened again.
Karina returned yet another ti.
This was only the first hurdle among countless others she had already foreseen. And yet, no matter how many tis she replayed it, she could not find a proper correction that would lead to the outco she wanted.
Karina did everything she could to make events flow the sa way they once had. And yet, no matter her efforts, the conclusion remained unchanged.
Vanitas Astrea’s death.
So Karina returned again.
And again.
And again.
She no longer knew how many frequencies she had burned through. She only knew that she kept going, even as the cost continued to climb.
At so point, Karina considered returning to the present.
But she already knew it was impossible.
The very first ti she had gone back in ti, the path ho had vanished. She no longer knew which thread to grab, which line of causality would lead her back to the tiline she once called the present.
Every attempt to force her way back through trial and error would only burn through her frequencies faster than she already was, accelerating the erosion of her existence.
She could not afford that.
So there was only one thing left she could do.
She had to ensure everything aligned correctly. She had to guide events, nudge outcos, and reshape the flow of history just enough to produce a better result than the tragedies that had occurred in the tiline she ca from.
To ensure that wherever she ended up, the outco would be worth the cost.
Was history changing?
Karina wasn’t sure.
"Karina?"
Romulus Neuschwan turned toward her, caught in the act as he was about to strangle her mother, Beatrice Maeril. The sight made Karina’s blood boil.
"Y-You’re Karina, aren’t you?"
"Get your filthy hands off my mom!"
That day, everything began to make sense.
It had never been Vanitas Astrea who put Romulus in that state.
———!
It had always been Karina Maeril.
And just like that, her stepfather, Romulus, fell into a comatose state. Karina hadn’t done it on purpose, intending to kill him on the spot. But this was for the better.
Because if it never happened, her younger self would never find out.
If it hadn’t happened, Karina would never be here in the first place.
But this was only one of many instances. It still did nothing to solve the main problem at hand.
"Hoo..."
Vanitas Astrea still kept dying.
"How does this even make sense?"
No matter how many years passed for her, Karina was none the wiser. People liked to say that experience made one wiser, but that was a lie.
All it did was deepen the frustration when nothing worked the way it was supposed to. Trial after trial, correction after correction, and the outco never truly changed.
And yet, Vanitas Astrea had always looked so calm.
Calm despite the illness eating him alive. Calm despite the blood on his hands. Calm despite standing at the center of tragedies that should have crushed anyone else.
Karina couldn’t understand it.
How could soone burdened with so much remain composed, while she, ard with knowledge, power, and countless second chances, was the one slowly breaking?
Slowly?
"Stop!"
Slowly?
"Dying!"
...Slowly?
"Professor, please!"
So many frequencies burned. So much ti squandered. Years upon years, reduced to nothing but failed attempts and broken tilines. Every return took sothing out of her, and yet the outco never changed.
Vanitas Astrea just wouldn’t stop dying.
At so point, Karina grew tired.
Wouldn’t anyone?
With the perfect setup, the perfect beginning, the perfect conclusion, all of it rendered aningless in the end.
"Professor..."
"Who—"
Out of her mind, Karina appeared in his bedroom. Tears welled in her eyes as whatever sanity she had left finally snapped.
"...Should we just die together?"
It was a proposal she had once made before.
Back then, Karina had ant it.
And now, she ant it just as much.
"Who the fuck—"
Karina lunged forward, fingers pressing deep into his neck.
Vanitas thrashed wildly, tried to pull away, and even attempted to summon his mana.
But it was useless. At this stage, Karina was overwhelmingly stronger. Her mana alone was enough to crush his resistance outright. This was a premature Vanitas, one who had yet to reach the heights of power he would one day attain, after all.
"You crazy bitch— kuh!"
The words cut off into a strangled sound as her grip tightened.
"Professor, I only wanted to make you happy... Why do you have to make it so hard for ?!"
Watching him die again and again was never sothing she could get used to. Each ti felt the sa. As if the sa knife was driven into her chest, over and over, until her heart felt like it had shattered into countless of pieces she could no longer piece back together.
Her grip shook.
"How many tis do you think I’ve watched this?! How many tis have I stood there, powerless, counting the seconds until you disappeared again?!"
Vanitas clawed weakly at her wrist. His eyes t hers, and for the first ti, Karina saw fear in his eyes.
"I changed everything!" Karina continued, her voice shaking. "I killed for you! I ruined myself for you! I burned years, decades, whole lives just to keep you alive!"
Things he had never asked for. But it was everything to Karina.
Her forehead pressed against his, their breaths mixing.
"And every ti, you still die... Why..."
Her fingers loosened, just enough for him to suck in a breath.
"I don’t want a perfect world anymore..." she said. "I don’t want salvation, or utopia, or so grand ending..."
Her voice cracked.
"I just wanted you to live..."
Tears spilled down Vanitas’s face.
"I just wanted you to be happy..."
Frost crawled along the walls, the floor, the ceiling, into every corner of the room. The temperature had already fallen to an absurd degree, cold enough for Vanitas to shiver.
But still not cold enough for Karina to notice.
"Professsor, why—"
Karina froze.
Vanitas was still there on the bed, staring back with empty eyes. He wasn’t dead. But he wasn’t responding either.
In that instant, the fog lifted.
Karina gasped and stumbled back. Her hands shook as she pulled away. Still, Vanitas didn’t move.
"W-What have I done..."
Only then did she understand.
Without realizing it, she had done sothing unforgivable.
She had frozen him from the inside out. Encased his very being in ice. A tomb not ant for bodies, but for selves. A place where everything that made a person them slowly faded away.
Just like what she had once done to herself.
"P-Professor... I-I’m sorry..."
Her voice cracked as she reached out, only to stop herself halfway.
Vanitas Astrea was still there, lying on the bed.
But his existence was gone.
mories were what made a person. Their choices, their regrets, their convictions. And by sealing those away, Karina hadn’t rely hard him.
She had erased him.
She had murdered Vanitas Astrea without spilling a single drop of blood.
At that mont, Karina ran.
But unbeknownst to her, hours later, Vanitas Astrea’s fingers twitched.
"...."
Then his eyes blinked.
"...."
Then his toes moved.
"It’s... cold..."
He pushed himself upright with sluggish movents. His head was throbbing as if her were in a daze, or maybe even a hangover.
He staggered toward what seed to be the bathroom, trying to figure out how he had co to this ss.
When he finally looked up at the mirror, his eyes widened.
"Shit, why this guy!?"
His fingers traced his cheek, then his jawline, then his temples, as if confirming his own existence.
"...How did I even get here!?"
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