I have a routine. It’s not complicated, but after a long life, I’ve found that it helps to stay on track for the day. I wake up, turn on the television, and make myself eggs. Nothing fancy; I like them over-easy with toast. The satellite service being out should’ve been my first clue that today was not going to be a great day. Regardless, I decided to push through that annoying obstacle.
As I sat down to enjoy my first yolk-dipped bite of toast, I pulled out my phone to see if that had any reception. To my complete lack of surprise, there was absolutely nothing, which, given that I lived in semi-rural Alaska, was entirely what I expected. I moved here for the peace, not the blazing-fast Internet. There was a reason I had several bookcases of my favorite books in my study.
As I debated between starting Dungeons & Deliveries or Bodega Cat, my phone beeped, surprising out of future reading plans. I dropped my fork back on the plate and grabbed the phone, hoping the outage was over. Instead, I was greeted by a text ssage with the words. “ERGENCY ALERT: TAKE SHELTER IMDIATELY. THE MILITARY HAS BEEN DEPLOYED.”
“What the hell?” There was no answer to my confused question, as I lived very alone. My only companion was one of the local birds I had nursed back to health a few years ago. I was pretty sure it was so kind of albatross, but I wasn’t quite sure of the exact species. My limited bird knowledge hadn’t helped in properly identifying it.
My phone dinged again, and again, twice the notifications this ti, apparently. I had two separate ssages, each from my kids, and both said the sa thing: “Dad, I love you.” What the hell was going on? Just as I spotted the ergency roaming symbol that had allowed these ssages to even get through, it vanished. The service was gone yet again.
If that hadn’t been enough to turn my nagging worry into a full-blown panic, the loud crash that was imdiately followed by a horrible squawking at my kitchen window was. The bird, who I had nicknad Big Bird, was screaming for my attention while dodging away from what appeared to be so sort of ax. Said ax then managed to find a new target after Big Bird’s agile dodge. The ax crashed through my window, splitting the wall below and finally burying itself into my sink. I was finally able to get a glimpse of what was trying to hunt my only real companion these last years.
Alongside the view of this creature ca a sudden understanding of what the ssages had all been about. The thing, whatever it was, standing outside my window certainly wasn’t human. It stood around seven feet tall and was covered in so sort of armor that looked a lot like it was made of bones. Its face was green with a piglike snout. The only thing I had for any comparison was so sort of fantasy orc, which I know sounds insane, but considering the rage it appeared to be in, the comparison seed apt.
My thoughts turned to where the hell I had left the rifle after the last moose scare. Had I even bought more ammunition? Random orc attacks just weren’t a thing I had ever considered I needed to be prepared for.
As the creature worked to yank the ax free, Big Bird seized the opportunity to fly through my window, squawking at as it did so. “Dammit, don’t co in here. Get back out there and run. There’s no reason we both need to die here,” I said, knowing it couldn’t understand and that it was just coming to in a desperate hope I could save its life again. Sadly, considering the texts from my kids, I doubted that was likely to happen. The monts I had wasted trying to coax the bird to save its own life had been used by the monster in a much more useful manner, at least for it, not so much for . With a loud wrenching sound, it had ripped its ax free, completely destroying my sink and the countertop below. In one quick motion, the creature tossed the ax toward my head.
Sohow, I managed to throw myself to the side, crashing hard into the ground while the ax embedded itself again. This ti, deep into my wall. My shoulder was screaming in pain from the impact of hitting the ground, reminding I was not a young man anymore. There was no way I could beat this thing in any direct fight. Not that I likely could have thirty years ago, either. I had never been the physically imposing type.
I needed to get out of the house and as far away from it as I could. That ant I needed to stand up and run. I felt my knees pop as I forced myself, far too slowly, back to my feet. In the ti it had taken to regain my footing, the monster had ripped a larger hole in the exterior of my wall and was now climbing through, apparently very intent on both my and the bird’s death.
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I grabbed the bird and ran for my front door, managing to get us both outside before the orc thing was able to catch up to us. That ant we had a chance if I could just get us deep enough into the woods. The main problem with that plan, though, was that I wasn’t remotely dressed for a night in the Alaskan wilderness, so this wasn’t so much of a chance as it was an action born of desperation. Hopefully, I could find so kind of shelter before night fell. Stumbling around in the darkness seed like a great way to die without the monster’s help.
Just as I was thinking I might find a way to survive this nightmare, several trees in front of exploded into a ball of sharp toothpick-sized shrapnel. I felt several embed themselves in my right side. Once again, I crashed to the ground. This ti, my shoulder hit sothing harder and more jagged. I felt both my shirt and flesh tear as a new searing pain set in.
I looked over at the bird I had dropped during this. Sohow, he seed free of any wounds. “Sorry, buddy. I think this is the end of the road for us.” As I said this, the full implications of why my kids had sent their texts set in. If it was this bad in the middle of nowhere, it must be a nightmare in any major city. So this was how humanity ended: an invasion of orcs. Several trees collapsed nearby, revealing the shapes of the approaching enemy.
I wondered which author had managed to get that one right, as about a dozen of them ca into view. They all looked similar to the first but held an array of different weapons. One of them carried sothing looking like a bazooka, and I guessed that was what had caused the tree explosion. Had they managed to knock the other trees down with just axes that fast?
“Any chance you would be willing to accept my surrender?” I coughed the words out to no response. One of them stepped nacingly over , and I closed my eyes, not wanting to watch the club it was carrying cave in my skull. I expected it to be the last choice I made in this life.
After several seconds of no impact, I finally risked opening my eyes. Had sothing changed? The sight that greeted certainly ant that, yes, it had, but I didn’t understand what. The creatures were all frozen where they had been monts before. The club was inches away from my face, but for whatever reason, it hadn’t crashed down yet. What was happening?
“What the hell is going on now?” I muttered, a combination of anxiety and terror playing out in my question. I did not expect any answer.
“You tried to save , not to ntion that you did save before when I was wounded. So I decided to use what little power I still had available to to try to save you and your world.” The voice ca from Big Bird. I was sure of it, but even considering today's events, I had a hard ti believing it. It seed far more likely I had hit my head in the fall.
“I’m sorry, did you just speak? I understand it’s a weird question to ask, considering all of this.” I waved my hand at the scene around us to accentuate the point. “But what the hell is going on? Did I hit my head? Is any of this real?” I asked these questions, knowing there wasn’t any realistic way the bird could prove the reality of the situation. I supposed that, without any way of doing anything about the alternative, it was in my best interest to, for now, work under the idea that this was reality and that my sanity hadn’t cracked.
“I’m sorry, but it is all very real. What I believe is going on is that so orcish faction has won your world, possibly your universe, as a prize. I don’t know why, though. As far as I can determine, it is entirely without any mana sources. This frozen ti used up what little reserves I held within . It will not last forever, especially if I have to continue to make you exempt from it. So I ask you again, Dave Imogen, my only friend in this universe, do you wish to save it?” Big Bird looked into my eyes as he asked this.
“Yes, if there is a way I can do that, then yes, but I don’t know what you think I can do,” I answered truthfully. I would do whatever I could to save my family. Even had I known what the future entailed, that is sothing that I can’t imagine I would ever change my mind about.
“Good, I assud as much. I am going to mark you with my insignia. It will grant you access to the Spire within the Spiral. Take this orb as well. I believe it will be useful.” Big Bird coughed up a glowing purple orb onto my chest before he resud speaking. “It’s refined experience I was collecting. I had planned to use it for another purpose, perhaps in the far future, but this is as good as anything I’d have done with it. Goodbye, my friend, and good luck.”
Surprising myself, I slid the disgusting orb into my pocket before speaking again. Between the orcs and the repeated falls, my brain wasn’t remotely working anywhere near its peak. “Wait, what do you an, goodbye? I need more information. I still don’t know what’s happening here!” Even as I shouted these words, I knew it was too late. I felt my body pulled through sothing as the world around seed to stretch into nothingness. My body still ached. My mind raced. How was I supposed to save the world?
Orcs are one of the more common peoples of the Spiral, hailing from many universes. They are by far the most represented of the Spiral’s many differing inhabitants within the Arena, with no less than a hundred smaller factions competing at any given ti. Despite their numbers, their overall performance is rarely above average.
An excerpt from The Varied Peoples of the Spiral by Krrtck.
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