I want to laugh, I want to cry, I want to scream, I want to die. But a weapon can't do any of those things.
I don't understand what happened, how it could have happened, or why it happened. But I understand what I have to do. I am lpone's weapon. That fact was etched into the mont she spoke it into being. It doesn't matter that I don't want to be. It still falls on now to determine what that ans, and how to beco it.
Why, why, why, why, why. No. Please. Soone help .
'You won't ruin things for by trying to be anything else, will you?' It's a cruel question, but it clarifies her intent. She wants to be her weapon and only her weapon; doing otherwise could 'ruin things' for her in so way. I don't know how, but if I ever learn I will need to avoid it.
I can't escape even my own thoughts. They're being used against . Anything I believe is a chain becos one. Why, why, why, why, why.
I need to be her weapon. That is a fact. But I don't want to be. That's sothing I can take comfort in, right? My body has been changed and my mind has been chained but I'm still , right? I'm still . I can still think for myself, feel for myself, and… yes. I move my hands, clenching and unclenching them into fists, watching the intricately-crafted tal replicas look and move almost exactly like a human's, if a human were colored chro. I can still control myself. I reach my hand up and gently (I can't hurt her, it's impossible) push lpone's hands away from my face.
I can do that. A weapon, after all, shouldn't be restricted in its movents.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
"Interesting," lpone coos, a manic grin on her face. "Oh, this is so interesting. This is the most complex artifact I've ever seen, and it's actually working! Look at you! God, you are a marvel. Thea will be beside herself when she sees you."
I don't want your complints I don't want your happiness I don't want your pity.
Thea, though. That's a na. One of her allies, I guess? Potentially important, but it doesn't matter right now. I want to escape this. Sohow. I need to escape this, I need to find a way.
"I don't want you worrying her, you understand ?" lpone continues. "She's a very sensitive girl. You can't act with her the way you did with just now."
And so I can't. Fuck you. lpone smiles.
"You will stay by my side unless I dismiss you," she orders. "Co."
She starts to walk and I follow her, my yearning to stay still and spite her casually swatted aside by my own mind. Just to see if I can, I position myself to the side and also slightly behind her. She didn't order the slightly behind her bit, but it's more of a bodyguardish subordinate soldier position, and this lady is really leaning into a sort of royal aesthetic, what with the fancy dress and the crown of crystal horns and all. I feel like she'd probably appreciate this specific position for to walk. And I can. It works. I genuinely believe she'd like it, so I can do it.
I am horrified by how comforting that is to know. I'm so fucking pathetic, to even think of celebrating the knowledge that my cage is slightly larger than I feared.
I need to distract myself. I need sothing else to focus on. Where am I? That seems like a good question. I'm getting castle-like vibes from the area (which probably contributed to my assumption that this woman looks like a queen). The walls, floors, and ceiling all seem to be made primarily of stone—
I can feel the room around with terrifying precision, parts of my mind churning through calculations about the structural integrity (solid, minimal damage, significant wear but only to superficial areas), carpets (organic material dating indicates average age of 150-300 years [standard]/230-460 years [Earth]) and potential dangers (angle of attack possibilities through windows, shot density requirents for penetrating walls).
—and so much of it is clearly decorative, especially the ceilings. The room I woke up in looks like it's so kind of… small dining room, or sothing. Maybe a parlor with a tall table. The hallway afterwards is even more castle-like, with thick stone columns segnting out parts of each wall and tall, elaborate windows. But for so reason, where there are occasional decorations on the walls and floor, the ceilings are always the most extravagant. It's odd to , since normally you'd design for the opposite, right? People look forward and down, but rarely up. Ceilings are usually left simple or outright blank, but here the ceilings are full-on artistic sculptures. They're very abstract, swirls and patterns that twist in and out of each other, teasing you around their edges so it looks almost like a bunch of discrete ideas, but trying to find clear delineation between them is an exercise in futility. They're… oddly calming to look at, though, and since I need every bit of calm I can scrape up right now I keep my eyes (my optical sensors, fuck) pointed above as we walk.
I do steal a glance out of those windows from ti to ti, but I don't like what I see. Outside is mostly darkness, though it flows and twists like fog in the wind, occasionally revealing glimpses of jagged cliffs and monstrous flashing shapes cutting through the sky.
An imposing set of double doors waits at the end of the hallway, though lpone just shoves them open and keeps walking. I follow into the room behind her, where—
That is a possible threat and I have to protect her. Ti seems to slow down as my thoughts speed up, the drain on my power reserves accelerating as the world itself seems to expand, information and data I've been ignoring as much as possible forcing itself into my awareness. No, no, no, let push it away, let pretend to still be , help , help …! But of course, I can't push it away. I have to fight, I'm a weapon.
I resu my analysis of the target.
—an honest-to-god Dark World monster is prowling right in the middle of the room. It's a horrific and alien thing, resting mainly on a thick, tube-like body like so monstrous dusa. Its lower half is largely snake-like, with its long body resting directly on the ground rather than on legs, but it does have legs—sort of. Two small limbs rest where the creature's torso bends up off the ground, curled up like a spider's chelicerae. They look far too small and weak to be legs, though, so I can't divine their purpose.
Maybe this chaotic thing doesn't have one. Near the top of its body erge four tentacles, twisting idly as it sits, while its head is barely a head at all, more of a giant maw with two bulbous alien eyes resting on top of it. The creature's enormous mouth gapes with ravenous hunger, its fangs gleaming as it twists slowly in our direction. The whole thing is covered in blue crystals, much like lpomone's purple ones but far more prevalent, growing all over the creature like a swarm of leeches.
I crouch low without thinking about it, my mind whirring on how I might fight it. Because I have to fight it. It doesn't matter that I don't know how. It doesn't matter that I'm terrified. It doesn't matter that this is torture, that I don't deserve it, that I'm just so girl who hasn't even graduated college. I'm a weapon. I have to fight. I have to fight I have to fight I have to—
"Stop," lpone orders, putting her arm in front of . "It's harmless."
I stop, relieved by the order and sickened by my relief. I don't want to fight that thing, I don't even know how I would fight that thing. It's only a little bigger than I am, but it's still… terrifying. That mouth alone, I just… why would lpone say it's harmless?
I stare a little closer at it, waiting silently for it to do sothing, but it doesn't. It looks at us, but it doesn't attack. Its mouth just stays open, and I notice that the crystals growing around it, wrapping up and replacing its teeth with jagged blue blades, also grow down the jaw. Around the jaw, even, encasing it and fusing it in an open position. It can't bite. In fact, crystals grow so thickly over its body that it can barely move at all. It just stays there, locked in position, sohow still alive as it remains trapped in an eternal silent scream.
It would be relatable, if it wasn't so freakish.
These monsters, and many monsters like them, haunt the nightmares of nearly everyone on Earth. They say the Dark World is layered over Earth sohow, 'dinsionally parallel' or so such jargon, to the point that occasionally, the two worlds can overlap and it's possible to cross between them. Unfortunately, humans who enter the Dark World die, and when things from the Dark World enter Earth, well… they kill.
These monsters are exactly the sorts of things that magical girls protect us against. But looking at this one now, it's hard to feel fear. Part of wants to kill it just to put it out of its misery. lpone, though, just walks past it, a sad expression on her face as she glances its way before continuing down another hall.
"You won't need to worry about monsters," lpone informs . "They don't attack us anymore. And they certainly won't attack you."
Anymore? Did they use to attack her? Why don't they attack her now? Was she human before? Will they not attack because I'm not human anymore? God, I'm not human anymore. Maybe I'm not even alive. Maybe I died when lpone threw into the Dark World, and she sohow turned my corpse into this.
Why am I a robot? I can think about my new body and 'rember' things about it, as if I always knew them. Can I search my mory or my data banks or whatever and figure out why I have this body at all?
…
No. Nothing cos to mind. Great. Fantastic. Cool. I can think about temperature in fucking Pyulors but I can't figure out why I'm suddenly made of tal. Have there at least been any clues? I replay what lpone said after I woke up—
"Stop," lpone says, and I stop imdiately. "What the fuck? Why is it… hmm. Hmm. How fascinating."
She's right there. Right in front of . I want to scream at her, I want to strangle her, but I can't, I literally can't, my mind just slides off any intellectual attempt to hurt her, discarded as an intrusive thought that will never, can never be fulfilled.
"Resu," she says, so… okay, fuck, I'll go back to scraping my fingers across my face like steel on a chalkboard! I feel like that's probably not what she ant, but… uh.
Uh.
I can't anymore. I can't. It's probably not what she wants from , so I can't… I can't…!
I clutch my head, careful to not make the sound because I can't make the sound because she wouldn't like that, this woman wouldn't like that, and I can't go against her I can't I can't I can't…!
"...Hmm. There's definitely sothing in there," lpone muses to herself. "Maybe even soone. But you won't tell anyone about that, will you?"
—which is apparently quite literal now, holy shit, holy fuck. My foot hits the ground and I realize I just relived that entire mory within the span of my stride. Oh god. Oh god, okay. Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Focus on what's important here.
The important thing is that it sounded like lpone doesn't know for sure that I'm in here.
This might not be very helpful, of course, considering that she also doesn't seem to care, but… it's worth rembering. Gathering information is important, especially about things lpone doesn't care about, because… well, if she doesn't care one way or the other, then I shouldn't be prevented from handling it how I want, right?
Haha. Hahahahahaha. Leaning into coping chanisms already, Luna? You've always been quick at those, you pathetic little coward.
"Rember, weapon," lpone says as we approach the next set of doors. "You are nothing and no one."
I am nothing and no one. Or at least, I have to act that way. She opens the doors to a room that, unlike the rest of the castle, is furnished more like it's inhabited by college students than nobility. There's a sowhat ratty-looking couch, a few other seating implents, a minifridge, and even a TV. More importantly, however, there are three more potential threats. The likelihood of them being aggressive is pretty low, however, because while they are monsters, they seem to be monsters very much like lpone.
Like her, they seem superficially human. All three are won, and they all hover around my age, at least in appearance. The tallest and most human-looking is an elfish girl, with long, pointed ears tipped with red crystals that match her crimson-red irises. Like lpone, her sclera are black and her teeth are fanged, at least from what little I can see through the slight opening of her snarl. What little I can see of her body is long and thin, but she moves with grace as she turns towards us. She's wearing a thick, comfy-looking robe that I might be jealous of in other circumstances, but right now I want to think about literally anything besides clothes.
Beside her—and lounging on a giant beanbag chair, of all things—is the least human of the three, to the point that I was straight-up expecting her to be another full-on monster until she got up. I only realized she was like the others when she turned our way so I could see her very human-looking face… outside the consistent black sclera and fangs she shares with the others. Her irises and crystals are yellow, though, and unlike her fellows they are not understated accents but extrely prominent parts of her body. She yawns as she gets up, her mouth opening up like a cat's to reveal an entire weapon shop's worth of ivory knives, her pupils narrowing into vertical slits as she looks our way.
Her entire body seems to be covered in a mix of deadly hedgehog-like quills and thick gray fur, with the spiny parts of her body poking clean through the crop top and short shorts she has barely covering her body. To my surprise, however, most of the quills slowly soften as she glances over and lpone, separating back out into just fur. She's still covered in knives, of course, with long crystal claws and curved crystalline blades erging from her forearms as fin-like swords. A thick, fuzzy tail flicks behind her, which poofs out so much like a squirrel's tail that I'll never be able to unsee it.
Lastly, the smallest of the three glances up in abject terror when we initially enter the room, but the fear quickly wipes away from her face, replaced with relief and affection. Her right eye has black sclera, but interestingly her left looks like a normal human's. Unfortunately, her green-tinted skin and the chaotic growth of crystals all over her body make it hard to mistake her as human in any other way; unlike the others, she has few large growths, just a patchwork of small crystals running almost like scales down her body, mainly on her right side. They're also green, like her inhuman eye and her skin, albeit a much deeper erald color than the sowhat pale, almost sickly-looking green of her flesh. The only large crystal on her body is at the end of her long, lizard-like tail, which features a nearly foot-long green blade.
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The other main thing I note, mainly when she starts happily running towards us, are her feet. She's wearing tan, baggy overalls and a white shirt, but she doesn't have any shoes on; her feet are oddly small and webbed, almost like an otter's, making little 'pap-pap-pap' sounds on the stone floor as she runs. Her right hand, I realize, is also clawed and webbed, but her left hand looks totally human apart from the green skin.
"l!" the green girl greets us excitedly. "Where have you been? What is that?"
She points at . I'm a 'what,' after all. A 'that.' Not a 'who.'
"You didn't tell us you were leaving, again," the tall one accuses.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" lpone laughs, rubbing the green girl's hair. "I just found sothing so exciting I couldn't get it out of my head, and I finally got it working."
"You an this? Why didn't you tell !?" the green girl pouts, walking over to inspect . "I would have totally helped you… oh. Oh, wow."
She starts circling , leaning forward uncomfortably close as she examines my body. I don't react. I don't think I'm supposed to, no matter how terrified, uncomfortable, or embarrassed I happen to be.
"I have so many questions," the green girl says seriously.
"Later, Thea," the tall one says flatly. "First we have to interrogate l about venturing into Dark World pockets alone. Again."
"She's not going to stop," squirrel-tail drawls lazily. "You may as well give it up, Nana."
"I'm sorry, Nanaya," lpone says, almost sounding genuine. "I understand your concern for , but I really wanted to make this a surprise. This is the most complex artifact we've found… well, ever, I think."
"What does it do!?" the green girl—Thea, I guess—asks excitedly. "The design is so intricate! This crystal integration…"
"That's the incredible part," lpone beams. "It follows orders. It's a fully intact servant robot. Effectively factory-fresh!"
"The Antipathy had servant robots?" the tall one (Nanaya, apparently) inquires. "I was under the impression they mostly made weapons."
"You can't have an entire society with nothing but weapons," Thea protests, still circling . "To get to an advanced enough state to make those weapons, you need all sorts of other essentials. Most of the artifacts we haven't identified likely aren't weapons, just by probability alone."
"Okay, but servant robots aren't exactly essential," Nanaya frowns.
"It's entirely possible that it is a weapon," lpone says. "The runes I translated were almost exclusively about how to control it; I really have no idea what it's actually capable of. I'm looking forward to finding out, however."
"Okay!" Thea suddenly announces, her tail flicking happily (though also rather dangerously) behind her as she stands up straight. "First question! Why the heck is it a near-perfect replica of a human body shape? Like, this thing has a sculpted butt and articulated toes."
"Toes are important," squirrel-tail insists. "It walks like a human, so it needs to balance like a human."
"Okay, that's… true, but very much not the point, Anath," Thea insists. "It's an Antipathy artifact. So how does it look like a human? The Antipathy went extinct before the Dark World ever intersected with Earth!"
There's a pause as everyone takes that in.
"Huh," is all Anath says.
"I think I might know why," lpone says. "Simply put, it didn't look like this when I found it. My interactions with it are probably why it looks like a human woman."
"Oh? Interesting," Thea says, going back to circling , her mismatched eyes roving all over my fra. "What did it look like?"
"A very large box, essentially," she answers, spreading her arms out in either direction. "About the size of a bed, and extrely heavy. I fiddled with it for a while, fed it so of my mana, and then this ca out of it."
I have to find that box.
"You fed an unidentified artifact your mana!?" Thea yelps, stepping away from . "Are you crazy!?"
"Thea," lpone says firmly, all mirth suddenly gone from her voice. "Do not call crazy."
The green one flinches.
"R-right," she stamrs. "Sorry, l. I just an… we don't want anything to happen to you."
"I'll be fine, dear," lpone says, her smile returning as she strokes Thea's cheek. "Nothing bad is going to happen to . I promise."
"Where is this 'box?'" Nanaya says, finally approaching us. Yes, ask where the box is! "If it can create more of these robots, that could be extrely useful to us."
"Unfortunately, I couldn't coax a second out of it," lpone says, shaking her head. "And it was far too large to move, so the zone of the Dark World it happens to be in…"
"...Could be anywhere," Nanaya sighs, crossing her arms in frustration. Her eyes keep watch on , however. "We'll have to try and track it."
"It's kind of a creepy fuckin' thing," Anath comnts, the fur on her body undulating like a field of grass in the wind. "Just standing there. Not moving, not breathing."
Well, I don't need to turn my head to see everything in front of clearly. But… just because I can, I turn and stare directly at her. She flinches.
"...Shit, okay, that's extra creepy."
Ha! It worked! Yessss! I'm sure I can keep hold of my rapidly fraying sanity with little things like this, right?
"Creepy or not… sit down," lpone orders directly, so I have to sit down. I don't want to, but I have to. Sohow, I need to follow that order. Do I just sit on the floor? Can I walk over and sit in that comfy-looking beanbag chair?
…Can I do either?
I… I think I can. Both would be following not just the letter of the order, but the spirit. I have no reason to assu lpone wants to sit on anything in particular, so I can interpret that how I like. Okay. Alright. That could be handy. That's good to know. Maybe I can even use this to get out of here sohow. Add that to the coping chanism pile, why don't I?
Unfortunately, in the split-second I spend thinking about all of this, I start to suspect that lpone at least intended to obey her quickly, so I go ahead and sit down on the floor, crossing my legs and staring up at the collection of monster girls.
"Stand up," lpone orders, and I stand up.
"Turn around," lpone orders, and I turn three-hundred and sixty degrees. Exactly, in fact, my feet ending the movent in precisely the sa spots that they started in. It's weirdly easy to do and really satisfying for so reason.
"Alright, so it's about half as well-trained as a service dog," Anath grunts, the fur on her tail hardening into spikes. "But what can it do?"
"I don't know yet," lpone answers, smiling widely. "Let's find out. The major convergence has indeed caused a number of minor convergences, as we suspected. I intend to investigate the closest one to our current exit point, and our new artifact is going to assist ."
She idly brushes the back of her fingers up my arm. I am unable to shudder.
"Would any of you like to co with ?" she finishes.
"Pass," Anath grunts imdiately, walking back towards the beanbag chair.
"Unfortunately, I'm still quite sore from our last outing," Nanaya agrees.
"Um, I-I'll go," Thea chirps, awkwardly raising her hand like she expects to be called on in class.
"Thea, dear!" lpone says, beaming brightly. "Are you volunteering to go outside the castle?"
Thea shifts awkwardly, moving her weight back and forth between her tiny feet.
"U-uh, yeah, I guess?" she admits. "It's just… this is the largest and most complicated working artifact we've ever discovered. This could lead to the breakthrough I've been looking for, you know? If we can study it…"
"I understand entirely, dear," lpone laughs. "In fact, I was hoping this would get you out of your workshop a little."
"Well, I an, I'm definitely gonna want to take her to my workshop," Thea says, bouncing with a bit less nervousness and a bit more excitent after receiving lpone's approval. "I promise I won't break her!"
Oh god oh fuck. Ahahahaha. Is that how I die? Being taken apart by a crazy monster chanic? Well at least she's using my goddamn pronouns, even if it's probably in a boat way. I wonder if she would care if she learned that I'm a human being? Or was one, anyway. Would she keep treating like a tool the way lpone does? I guess it doesn't matter; I can't try to signal her that I'm alive, that I'm . I can only act like an obedient weapon.
"I'll want to put it through enough tests to get a handle on how dangerous it is before I'll be comfortable with you taking it apart," lpone says gently, petting the top of Thea's head like she's a cat. "But yes, I agree with you wholeheartedly. This could be our big break, and I have every bit of confidence that you'll find a way to make it true."
This is sickening. I don't want to watch this. I don't want to see lpone be kind to soone. What are these girls, anyway? They live in the Dark World, but they act too much like humans—and imply too much familiarity with humans—for to assu they're native residents at this point. Did the Dark World turn them into monsters sohow? Is that where monsters co from? …No, there's no way. We'd be hearing about all sorts of people going missing if monsters are all just transford humans. And as much as these girls look like monsters, they're clearly still people.
And if I'm looking closely, it's clear they all have transformation stones. Like the purple gem lpone keeps in a hair ornant, like the clear gem she offered , each of the monsters has their own. Thea's gem is inlaid in the cover of a thick-looking book she has on a chain at her hip. Nanaya's gem is attached to a ring on her finger, and Anath's is in a choker around her neck. Each of the gems is the sa color as the crystals growing out of their respective girl's body. They've really got a the going on, huh?
I wonder how they get access to so many transformation stones. Those are, after all, supposed to be exclusively granted by the Preservers to magical girls.
I also wonder if this ans that lpone's offer was more serious than I thought. If she was intending to make into sothing like her and these girls, rather than a robotic slave. If all of this was just my fault for being a belligerent cynic with a death wish. I guess it doesn't matter; I wouldn't want to be involved with her either way.
"Well, we'd better get going then," lpone says, removing her hand from Thea's scalp to the girl's obvious disappointnt. "We probably only have a few more hours to work with this particular convergence, and I wouldn't want to worry the others by getting us stuck. Do you have everything you need, Thea?"
"Uhh… I think so, yeah," Thea confirms, patting down the various pockets in her overalls. "This is mostly a testing and observation mission, right? The exploratory segnts are secondary, so I should be okay. Any expected interference?"
"None that should pose a threat," lpone smiles. "The major players are occupied."
"Um. I guess that's good," Thea hedges. "Alright, then yeah, I'm ready."
"Excellent. Do hold the fort while we're away, girls!"
Anath waves halfheartedly at them, not even looking in their direction as she munches on… are those Cheetos? Yeah that's a bag of straight-up na-brand Cheetos. Huh. Not the monster food I expected.
"Bring back more fuel for the generator, if you can," Nanaya says blandly. "We're running low, and I don't want the things in the fridge to go bad."
"Will do, dears," lpone smiles. "Ta-ta, then."
She starts walking and I follow, taking up the sa beside-and-behind position as before. Thea, to my surprise, does the sa, flanking behind lpone's other shoulder rather than beside her. Hmm. Maybe it doesn't an anything. They certainly seed like they were friends.
The important thing right now is figuring out where I'm going to be dragged and what I'm going to be made to do. As we exit the prior room, I'm taken through more areas that look like so of the original furnishings have been taken, moved, or replaced by Earth equivalents. Unlike the halls lpone led through after I woke up here, these seem lived in. I glance into a couple open doors we pass and even find areas that look like they've been converted into bedrooms or a kitchen. They're incongruous mixes of alien stone architecture and modern-day furniture and anities, presumably brought in directly from Earth.
"So… the anchor has been working, right?" Thea says as we start heading down so stairs.
"Mostly, but that's quite a bit better than what we've been struggling with so far," lpone nods. "The castle has been consistently floating around northeast Colorado, and while our entrance and exits are never quite predictable, it's been a lot easier orienting ourselves."
"Alright, that's good news," Thea nods. "Would it be possible to fit in a visit to the anchor? I want to run so tests and double-check I have all the data I need to make a second one."
"If we have the ti," lpone allows. "It would be a hassle to get stranded on Earth again."
"Uh, yeah, of course," Thea says quietly. "But I an… that's what the anchor is for."
"We will visit the anchor if we have the ti," lpone repeats firmly.
"Okay. Sorry."
At the bottom of the stairs, I glance back up behind us to look at the impressive entry hall we just descended into. It's definitely royal-coded, but in weird ways that just aren't quite like how I think of castles on Earth. The staircases are oddly lopsided and jagged, the overall room size is a lot smaller than I'd expect for a grandiose entry hall, and of course the ceiling is for so reason the largest and most impressive aspect. The top of the room blooms outward like a mushroom, so that the ceiling is actually wider than the floor and the edges of the sculpture carved into it can only be viewed from certain angles in the room. The sculpture itself once again gives the impression that it's supposed to an sothing, supposed to represent sothing, but it just doesn't match any comprehensible patterns that I'm aware of. It's neat, though.
I return my gaze to where I'm walking once I sense lpone open the doors outside, however, and notice that Thea is staring at . A twinge of sothing unpleasant thrums through ; weapons don't look at art, and so I shouldn't have let Thea see stare. Failure. Failure. Can't let it happen again.
God, this is so fucked up. At least my inability to physically react to these things seems to be helping stay calm, or at least calr than I would have expected myself to be. Honestly, it's hard to believe I've taken this as well as I already have. I struggle to take a shower in the morning without freaking out a little, how the fuck am I handling this with anything close to a clear head? By all accounts I should be like, several miles further down panic attack lane unless sothing is actively ssing with my emotions.
Oh. Haha. Hahahahaha. Haaaahahahahaha of course that's happening what the fuck was I expecting? I'M MADE OF GODDAMN TAL! Why is this happening? Is it on purpose? Am I supposed to not be freaking out, so whatever's replacing my brain just doesn't do it as much? Is just being a robot inherently preventing my emotions from working right? Is—
My power reserves have increased from 23% to 24%.
—sothing else causing oh hey what was that why did that happen? What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck. I—
I could increase the emotional burn rate to fill my reserves more. This panic attack isn't exactly pleasant, let alone productive, and converting it to power could kill two birds with one stone.
—need to oh no no no no no. No, let's not do that. If I recall correctly, didn't lpone say sothing about magic involving burning your emotions for power? It's… frustratingly fuzzy, but I guess that's how mories are supposed to be, right? My old at brain didn't just store them as full-ass video/audio files. I'm pretty sure she did say that, though. And I guess she was being literal.
The more I get tortured, the more energy I create. The more I suffer, the more I can turn that suffering into power. The more I scream against the inside of this existential prison, the stronger my prison becos. Magic is powered by emotions, and I am a robot powered by magic. My nightmare is entirely self-sustaining.
I glance down at myself as we head outside, looking at the parts of my arms, legs, and belly that seem to be made of smooth, polished versions of the crystals growing out of the people living here. Mine are glowing a faint green, and the more I panic the brighter that glow becos. In the back of my head, I can feel my power reserves ticking up by fractions of a percent, so part of what I am forcibly tearing into and devouring my emotions seemingly before I can even feel the full brunt of them. I'm still afraid, of course, just… not as afraid as I should be.
I look forward again, once again noticing Thea's gaze on . I guess it makes sense; she seems at least mildly obsessed with . She's probably so kind of artifact researcher, and apparently I'm an artifact.
An object.
A tool.
A thing.
This is my life now, if I can even be considered alive. It's… too much, really. Too horrific, too hopeless. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. I don't know how I'm supposed to do anything other than panic and despair.
Maybe it's worth burning these feelings away after all.
We walk through the murky black of the Dark World, and my power reserves tick up past a quarter full.
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