"when life gives you potato’s you make fries."
"Cali honey the saying is when life gives you lemons."
"Lemons? who would make fries out of lemons."
--progress report on hoschooling.
(Crow)
I walk forward with steady steps. Making sure the witness and the old man made it up to the top conference floor. The place was massive so I assu it was only used on rare occasions like New Years or Pentecost. Despite its size, however, the room was already eighty-seven percent full. Still, people were creating enough space for the three of us to walk forward unimpeded. Sothing I found strange but did not feel like comnting on with my limited training in being a human I still realised that neither one of the people walking with would give an answer.
I make it to the middle of the room where I find most of the other Samurai sitting around a large U shaped table. The neurotic wolf, enemy of all ti, was standing in the middle of them having a staring contest with all the other Samurai at once.
Said wolf turns to us as we get close with a smile. "Lead Bolt! I don't know you, but welco either way! Crow! Nice of you to join us!"
I make a small bow trying my best to still look professional. “Good morning, Miss Wolf.”
Suddenly everything goes quiet, making wonder if sothing went wrong, so I slowly raise my head to find everyone looking at . I quickly open my database but can’t find any reference points for this situation. Even in Evelin’s mories this stuff only happened when she needed to present sothing and I was at least ninety-seven percent sure I did not have to do sothing like that.
The wolf blinked once, then shook her head and said "Lyona, cancel my 5 pm, I have to teach soone the difference between wolves and foxes it seems. Yes, I know that. Look I just always wanted to say that, is that so wrong? Bullshit! It's aweso and you know it!" The wolf clearly lied.
She then turned away from and clapped her hands once, making everyone take their eyes off of .
"Anyways. You might be wondering why I gathered you all here today! And by the fact that I am still here rather than correcting a misunderstanding, you should all be able to gather that I am in fact not happy."
I quickly make a docunt and write down if a wolf smiles it does not an happy.
She then flicked her tail and once more engaged in a staring contest with everyone else. So I just take that ti to confirm my dinner plans with Jack.
"You see, I was enjoying a nice day off with my wife, when suddenly my student calls and tells my grandchildren are having a dical ergency and she needs my help. Which you know was Fair. If that's was all that had happened, I wouldn't be here.
"So anyways, does anyone here mind explaining to the exact reason behind why exactly it is that while I was on the way to go visit my sick grandchildren to get them so healing nanites to help them deal with that sickness, I ran into a fucking Nachtwächternetzwerk hit-squad?! You're supposed to be an independent organisation ant to help Vanguard and support local communities. Why do you even have hit-squads?! AND WHY! WAS ONE OF THEM! TRYING TO MURDER MY GRANDCHILDREN?!"
I can hear a thud behind . Turning around I see that the witness has chosen this mont to take a nap. Which I can understand, as nothing of importance was happening, but I was sure that in the human book of etiquette it was seen as rude to fall asleep in front of people.
"Right, soone go make sure she's alright. And also soone tell one good reason why I had to deal with a hit-squad. Let be clear: If you were quite literally any other organisation, we wouldn't be having this conversation. You would just simply be dead. So please. Tell why you should get special treatnt."
“It would make this conversation unnecessary. If you were going to kill everyone you could just do it, why drag us here.” I point out.
“Crow shut the fuck up” I hear soone wisper behind , but when I turn around I can’t find the speaker in question.
The wolf sighs. "Look, I'm not going to kill anyone here. Maniac did enough murderising as is. The main thing is I'm not mad, I'm mostly just disappointed."
“The solution for that is just lowering your expectations.” I helpfully supply.
"Crow! Stop talking!" Lead Bolt hisses.
Other than that, however, the air in the room seems to change at that statent. Postures adjust and people actually start to move again. Though a large collection is still making frowny faces.
“So what exactly do you want to know?” One of the Samurai asks.
"Exactly what I've been saying all this ti, Radikal, why was there a hit-squad targeting my grandchildren and my soon to be daughter in law?"
“Luna, my oldest friend, you get a new kid every other week. It's not reasonable to expect everybody to keep track of that.” Professor Radikal calmly says, making wonder how many siblings we actually have and how that is going to work on lunar new years..
"One: adopting Maniac was a fairly public affair and I know for a fact at least a third of people present here were there when it happened and two: Fair enough. Let rephrase my question: Why do we even have hit-squads?"
“While you might be correct that in a perfect world we don’t need them. Regardless, with rogue Samurai and a literal Samurai hunter being operational in Europe we do need so ways to deal with them.”
"...why is this the first I hear about a literal Samurai hunter operating on my turf? I'd like to be kept in the loop about things like that. Rogue Samurai too. And also, what exactly do you expect a squad of regular soldiers to do to either a Vanguard or soone who, for so reason, decided to go pick fights with them for a living? Like, you've all seen how quickly Maniac dealt with the hit-squad, right? I an yeah to be fair, I did a bunch of prep-work up front, but still. You can't go around sending regular people to fight Vanguard. We are quite literally built different!"
To make sure and wolf face are still on the sa page, I send her a quick ssage. [So I want to point out that your turf is Austria, the rest is mine]
She then turned to stare at .
"Do you want to take this outside? I'll throw down with a 3 month old, I don't give a fuck!"
I quickly pull up the weather app. “The smog clouds will clear in an hour so we can go outside then. Though it might rain later, so we don’t have that much ti.”
“So what the fuck is her deal anyway?” Jean Paul Philippe Austerian the fourth asks.
“According to my data, she might have received so brain trauma resulting in the need to dress like a wolf”, I explain my mom's whole deal.
Everyone, for so reason, touched their hand to their head. Including mom?
"Moving on. Mods, change the topic of the eting from 'Assbeating ti' to 'So what's this I hear about a Samurai hunter'! Does anyone know anything? Why do we think we have one of those around? Any sightings or witness accounts?"
“We don’t know much yet; it might be a solo operative or a group of people, but they're escalating. Taking out stronger targets with salvaged and jerry-rigged Samurai gear. We have opened an investigation, but so far we don’t have any suspects. The culprit, however, is most likely not a Samurai.” Radikal explains before the wolf blows his entire house away.
[Do you happen to have my "Buddy system for dummies and kindergartners" PowerPoint sowhere Crow? Or failing that, can you ask Maniac or Evelyn to go look for a USB-stick that looks like it's been drawn by a toddler?]
[No. Maniac said that we already failed kindergarten, so we did not need to look at it. As for looking, they're currently busy trying to convince Shinon that pants are not optional.]
[Tell them to tell her she can wear a skirt instead. Also fuck, looks like I'll have to wing it.]
"Alright, uhh keep looking into it, let know if you find anything and do not, I repeat, do not under any circumstances attempt to engage them alone if you find them. Call for backup first, and then try to fight them. We don't know what they're capable of, but if we're taking this seriously, I'm assuming they already took out so Vanguard, so they clearly are a danger. Also, keep in the loop! eting is done I guess?"
[Nailed it]
[Nailed what? The desk is still crooked.]
I turn to walk to Jack to go to our lunch thing, just before reaching him, however, I feel a hand grab my shoulder. I turn around, finding Grandma Wolf standing there.
"I'm not done with you yet. I shall now beco an unskippable cutscene."
“But I already made lunch plans, so no thank you.” I quickly respond as I nod to Jack, who looks slightly paler than normal, making wonder if he is getting sick.
"You. Lunch plans. With soone else. Yeah I don't buy it, sorry."
“It was not for sale, so that is fine. Though I guess you can co along if you want.” I turn to Jack, “Do you think your wife would be fine with one other person?”
"... Fuck it, I have to see this. Guess I'll be in your care, uhh…?" The wolf approaches Jack, who looks to be getting even paler sohow.
“Jack sir, no ma’am? Uuhm, your highness?” Jack quickly responded.
“My sisters usually call her Panic Button.” I say trying to help Jack
"Just Luna is fine, I'm off duty for now."
“You have a job?” I ask, surprised by the new information.
She shrugs. "Well soone has to be responsible for these idiots back there. That and they won't let retire from being chief commander of the Vienna Defense Force no matter how much I plead with them. Or try to bribe them with baked goods. They even rejected my brownie-cookies, if you can believe it!"
“My sister-in-law says threats always work best in those situations, so maybe you should have Maniac submit your letter of resignation” I suggest.
"No, I don't want to spring that on them. Anyways, lunch?" Luna says, dragging both of us away.
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