Strength against strength.
I charged right in.
No turning back now.
A fight had begun where neither side could retreat until one broke the other.
It was a disadvantageous battle.
It was too sudden to just play around like this, Cheongwol was furious, and it was broad daylight.
No way the mood could settle.
If it had been night, or if Cheongwol had been whining a bit, maybe.
Make-up sex? Sure, that could happen. But make-up SM? No way.
I'm not a masochist who wants to get degraded every ti...!
SM only works when the masochist wants to hear the sadist's words, but right now, Cheongwol looks like she wants to kill —what can I do...!
That said, it wasn't like I had zero ground to stand on.
"...What? Selling my body?"
"..."
If our sadist-masochist relationship ant anything to her at all, this was a line-crossing remark from the masochist's side.
If she wanted to keep the SM dynamic, if she wanted to hold that air of dominance, this was sothing a sadist couldn't just let slide.
"Cheongwol. I get that you're angry... but is that the right way to talk right now?"
I needed this position just to speak with any confidence.
Cheongwol was still glaring at with cold eyes—maybe even misty ones.
My heart was pounding like it might burst.
But I had to cling to this slim thread of hope.
Cheongwol gritted her teeth for a long mont before speaking.
"...Don't try to brush it off lightly. I told you, I don't want to play right now."
"This isn't playing."
I took one more step forward.
Cheongwol didn't back away either.
Our distance just closed further.
The tallic tang of blood grew thicker in the air.
Still, I had to hold this distance.
There's a difference between my usual self and the acting as sadist.
Usually, it's about arm's reach.
Now, it's close enough for breaths to mingle.
Cheongwol's hot breath touched , and mine reached her.
Every ti my breath brushed her, her eyelids twitched.
I admitted it.
"Yeah. I t Dang Soran."
Cheongwol's face twisted in fury as she shouted.
"Then you did lie to —mmph!"
Thump!
I covered her mouth with my hand.
First things first, shut that mouth...!
My options for tools had definitely expanded.
"Listen to first."
At those words, Cheongwol—who'd been trying to pry my hand off—froze for a mont.
I quickly sorted my thoughts.
More than anything, I'd always thought doing SM with Cheongwol was a curse.
But now I realized just how much of a blessing it had been.
An unleashed Cheongwol was a total nightmare.
It was way better when we could still do SM.
I had to reestablish the relationship.
If it broke completely, that would be even more dangerous.
Above all, the lost trust was the problem.
Trust is the foundation of SM.
Repair the broken trust first.
I've got plenty of grievances too...!
Cheongwol thrashed and yanked my hand away.
"-Pha! No! What excuse are you gonna make? There's proof! It's like you're screaming 'Dang Soran forever' at this point! My friend who's supposed to treat my heart demon! How am I supposed to be happy when you're carrying the na of the woman I hate most?!"
"I didn't know."
I said firmly.
"...What?"
"I didn't know Dang Soran would leave her energy in my dantian. I didn't know it was that important to you. If I had, I never would've given it up."
I looked her straight in the eye.
Fuck, it's true...!
"This isn't a lie. It wasn't what I wanted. I just found out myself."
Cheongwol scanned my face, trying to gauge if it was true.
I continued.
"I didn't know. Really. I just wanted to build up so internal energy casually. I figured I'd pick up so tricks, and since Dang Soran was there, she offered to help. That's how it happened. I didn't give her my body like you imagine, or favor her over anyone."
As suspicion filled her eyes.
"I swear I didn't know."
I answered definitively once more.
Cheongwol, who had been speechless for a while, finally whispered.
"You... didn't give up your dantian to satisfy Dang Soran...?"
"Why would I do that?"
"Because you're the clan leader type...! Dang Soran is rich...!"
"If I was really going to sell myself to the Tang Clan of Sichuan, don't you think I wouldn't have co back to Mount Ei?"
"..."
"Don't you get it? Even if it was late, I ca back because of my promise to you. Honestly, I wanted to spend more ti out there."
I gently took Cheongwol's hand as she pulled mine from her mouth.
Cheongwol frowned like the touch disgusted her, but she didn't reject it outright.
I suddenly asked.
"From the start, why does it matter what energy settles in my dantian?"
After a long silence, Cheongwol answered.
"...Because you're the one treating my heart demon... Because you're the one who sees my shaful side... I asked you to keep your body pure...! That's my request...! Even if you're just so...! Leather Room clan leader—"
"-Watch your mouth."
Every ti she seed about to flare up, I deliberately doused her with cold water.
I had to snuff it out before her anger blazed hotter.
"...I told you to watch your mouth, Cheongwol."
Fortunately, Cheongwol lowered her voice as she asked.
"...Then."
"..."
"But if that's true, why did you lie? Why say you went alone? Why hide Dang Soran from ?"
No point hiding anymore.
"Because I knew you'd get mad, so I didn't say. I knew it'd lead to this annoying conversation."
She bristled.
"Annoying?! This is sothing I should obviously get mad about—"
Thump!
I stubbornly covered her mouth again.
"Obviously?"
And with that, I finally voiced the one nagging doubt I couldn't hold back.
"Why are you trying to control like this? What are you to ?"
Strength against strength! Even rougher!
It's a battle of wills. I can't break.
Cheongwol's body trembled slightly, and she looked up at —startled, or maybe shocked.
My hand over her mouth kept feeling her soft breaths.
"I've been wondering since earlier. Who I et, whose energy is in my dantian... That's not sothing for you to make a huge fuss over, right? Feels like you've got the wrong idea about boundaries."
It was sothing I had to say eventually.
A issue we had to address sooner or later.
Cheongwol yanked my hand away again, looking frustrated.
"Tch, because we're friends, so of course—"
"-Isn't that already lover territory?"
Cheongwol's mouth clamped shut.
"Besides, since when could you give orders?"
Even Gwak Du Uncle doesn't pull this on ...!
And how is this 'friends' distance anyway!
Does she not know what friends are because she's a loner, or did she just cross the line without realizing?
Her reaction lted away ten years of heartburn.
It was sothing I'd wanted to say so badly.
Of course, if Cheongwol pulls a sword and asks 'So what?', I'm out of options.
As long as no sword gets involved, I've got words too.
"..."
"..."
We faced off for a long while.
Just as I thought the conversation might end like that, a scene unfolded that blanked my mind.
Drip... drip...
With my hand still over her mouth, Cheongwol suddenly started shedding pitiful tears.
****
When he changed his tone, attitude, and vibe, I'd felt offended for a mont.
But now I understood why.
The timid Han Seojin who hides the truth in his normal state... When he's like this, Han Seojin is brazen, infuriating, but at least honest.
'Isn't that already lover territory?'
Those words shook Cheongwol to her core.
No. That's not it.
If we're just friends, that should be enough...
...Since we share so much...
So if he looks at soone else, I just get petty.
But the more I chewed on it, the more he was right.
What right did I have to force my feelings on him like this?
I'd argued back that he needed to stay pure for treating my heart demon.
But really, Han Seojin is just helping with the treatnt—it's not his duty.
Thinking that way, maybe I was the only one who wanted to keep this relationship going.
No words left, but my heart raced ahead.
And that frustration brought the tears.
****
The one who broke was Cheongwol.
Shockingly, the mont she did, tears started pouring.
She stood rigid, lips pressed tight in resentnt, eyes downcast, tears just dripping.
At that sight, the taut tension and hostility in the air deflated pathetically.
"...Uh."
No thrill of victory. Just a weird feeling welled up.
Guilt, maybe. Or bitterness.
The Cheongwol in my head kept clashing with the one in front of .
...Was she the type to cry here?
I was flustered.
And she was crying so heartbreakingly, I couldn't help but be even more shocked.
My grip on her mouth weakened.
As my hand fell away, she whispered.
"...I didn't do anything wrong."
"..."
"...Fine. Whatever. I know everything you said earlier was a lie too. Just fancy words again. All excuses to dodge this. I still didn't get a gift, and your dantian has Dang Soran's energy... Nothing's changed."
Swipe, swipe.
Cheongwol wiped her eyes.
"What am I to you that I'm trying to control you? I don't know...! But at least, you're my one and only friend."
Those words hit my chest harder than expected.
"So, is it really that hard to just not look at other people? Push everyone else away, scold only...! Can't I even feel hurt?!"
Her honest words and tears doused the fear rising in , simple as could be.
I'd been shaking like she was a ghost, but flip on the light and it's just laundry.
Sothing inside scread to comfort her quick.
Nothing's over yet.
If you wield the whip, you gotta offer the carrot.
That's how you fix it.
"Just say you hate only !! Then I'll say I get it!!"
With that, Cheongwol turned away.
She picked up her sword from the ground and started walking off.
That's when I finally grasped the situation again.
The countless bandits Cheongwol had killed for .
Anyone else, maybe not—but I owed her thanks for this at least.
Her back, as she walked away in tears after saving , looked so lonely.
The earlier clash of wills hit with regret now.
I didn't hesitate long.
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