Deadpool's voice was brimming with excitent...
He pressed his legs together, covered his red-masked face with his hands, and leaned shyly against Sean's shoulder, acting as if he couldn't wait to plant a kiss on him... It was like he'd just reunited with a long-lost brother.
"Can you not call that? It sounds weird," Sean said, his face twitching slightly as he made the earnest request.
It seed this rcenary had more than just Sean on his list... Tony Stark was apparently the top prize.
"Of course, buddy! You're the five-million-dollar second prize. Aside from the seven million dollar grand prize Tony Stark, you call the shots!"
Deadpool nodded magnanimously while pulling out a calculator from who knows where, his fingers rapidly tapping away as he calculated how to spend the massive bounty.
"If this were the old days, I'd hit every red-light district in Brooklyn. But now that I've got a girlfriend, Deadpool's wild days are over... Hmm, first, buy a luxury car, then invest in a Hollywood movie. What do you think about starring in a superhero flick? Box office gold! I'll wear a sleek costu... no more people mistaking for that web-slinger. Green? Nah, too ugly! What self-respecting hero wears green? Red is better... bad guys won't see bleed."
"...Then I'll rent an apartnt in Manhattan's pri district. 'The Greatest rcenary in the Universe!' With that tagline, business will boom! Deadpool takes all jobs, hell, for the right price, I'll even offer my firm, perky ass!" Deadpool punched his palm triumphantly, clearly thrilled with his own genius.
He clapped Sean on the shoulder and said in a tone dripping with camaraderie, "Buddy, you're the first mark to ever walk right into my lap. As a thank-you, I'll let you pick your death! Bullet to the head? Flower arrangent? Sliced up with my katanas? Or maybe a scenic skydive without the parachute?"
As Deadpool rambled like a deranged chatterbox, Sean remained unfazed, his smile warm, as if the threat of imminent death didn't bother him at all.
One hand on the wheel, the other slung over Deadpool's shoulder, he replied earnestly, "You know, it kinda stings that my bounty is lower than Tony's. How about I raise it myself? Let's tack on another three million... 'The Eight-Million-Dollar Man' has a nicer ring to it."
"You're a goddamn genius!" Deadpool blurted out, genuinely impressed, "Paying to have yourself killed? Buddy, I almost don't wanna do it now. But eight million ans I could litter Manhattan with cash... what a dilemma!"
"Don't worry, I want you to earn that eight mil. That way, when I get to heaven, I can brag that I died at the hands of the great Deadpool for eight million bucks." Sean consoled the conflicted rcenary like a caring friend soothing another's troubles.
To an outsider, their conversation would've sounded utterly deranged.
"But before that, can I ask a tiny favor?" Sean glanced at Deadpool, who was fiddling with his pistol, "Who exactly wants dead?"
"Well, pal, you know how it is, professional ethics and all. A rc's gotta keep his clients confidential–"
"How does ten million sound?"
"Bingo!" Deadpool snapped his fingers, "Let be clear, this isn't about the money. I'm telling you purely out of our authentic friendship. First, so jackass nad Justin Hamr offered two mil for your head. Back then, I wasn't this handso, but my moral compass said no. That's right, I turned down two million! Then later, this bald Indian dude showed up, he slled like two hobos f*cking in a piss-filled shoe–"
Sean waved a hand, cutting off Deadpool's rant. He was starting to grasp just how insufferable this guy was... He was like an unkillable fly buzzing relentlessly in his ear.
What he hadn't expected was HYDRA targeting him. Or maybe they were eyeing Umbrella's rapid rise?
It made sense. Sean had deep ties with Oscorp, and dominated the biotech industry... He is also partnered with Stark Industries, and they expanded aggressively in clean energy... and even the Departnt of Defense. A shadowy organization like HYDRA would've taken notice...
The only reason Sean hadn't wiped them out yet was to let them weaken S.H.I.E.L.D...
Skynet could easily crush Arnim Zola, the scientist who had transferred his consciousness into a supercomputer. As one of the original HYDRA leaders under Red Skull, Zola knew all the organization's secrets.
After Red Skull and Captain Arica vanished, Hitler's defeat was inevitable. The surviving HYDRA mbers slipped through the Allies' dragnet, hiding in the politically turbulent Soviet Union, plundering resources until its collapse.
Ironically, S.H.I.E.L.D. (then the Strategic Scientific Reserve) had grown powerful by absorbing HYDRA's assets after World War II. But that very success left them vulnerable... HYDRA had infiltrated every level, even placing Alexander Pierce as director at one point.
No matter how tight S.H.I.E.L.D.'s security was, HYDRA always stayed one step ahead. Unless it was in Fury's personal files, nothing escaped their notice...
"Alright, Q&A's over," Deadpool cackled, snapping Sean out of his thoughts, "Can't refuse a friend's generosity. For ten million, I'll bump you off and demote Tony Stark to second place. Just wire the money before you die. I take e-transfer or cash."
Sean chuckled. Then, he pulled out his phone and casually transferred the promised amount into the rcenary's account.
Deadpool blinked, then burst into delighted laughter. He pressed his high-caliber pistol, the cold tal a whisper from death itself, against Sean's temple...
"Don't worry, it'll be over in a flash. C'mon, say it with , Hallelujah~" Deadpool faux-sermonized.
"Hallelujah," Sean echoed, smiling.
*BANG!*
A gunshot rang out...
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