After his conversation, he joined the others where they had reached the gangplank where the others were waiting. Lena imdiately attached herself to Lumi’s arm.
"Were you talking about secret things?" she asked loudly. "Can I know the secrets? I’m very good at keeping secrets! Except when I’m not!"
"No secrets." Lumi assured her. "Just business."
"Boring." she declared, then brightened. "Do you think the Empress will let pet her? Royalty probably slls nice!"
"Please don’t try to pet the Empress." Lumi said wearily.
Divan looked over curiously. Lumi waved it off with a look that scread ’don’t worry, please.’
Lena couldn’t help herself, but asked in a lower volu so only Lumi would hear. "What about sniffing?"
"Especially no sniffing. Am I going to have to muzzle you?"
"..." Lena stared at Lumi. "You take it seriously every ti. I suppose it’s my fault."
"What?" Lumi couldn’t understand her sotis.
"Lumi, Lumi..." Lena shook her head, "I’m sorry." She retreated back a bit, holding herself with her arms. "I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so-"
"Lena!" Lumi held her arms, "Just... It’s okay. I’m okay. You’re okay. What happened?"
"I keep being bad!" Lena exclaid, then noticing attention coming her way, looked down. "I..."
"Co." Lumi urged her inside further away from the others.
They boarded the airship. The interior was opulent. Soft carpets covered the floors, magical lights provided perfect illumination, and everything spoke of luxury. The party was led to a comfortable sitting area while the knights secured Afton in what was presumably a holding cell.
Divan made sure to subtly guide Lumi to where his private accommodations would be, which Lumi nodded gratefully towards him for.
Lumi guided Lena to his guest bedroom, where he closed the door behind her and sat her down. "Lena, it’s okay. You can tell what happened."
"I keep being bad." Lena sighed, still holding onto herself. "I keep telling myself I’m not going to do certain things. And then I do them again."
Lumi sat beside her, keeping his voice gentle. "What kinds of things? You are strange, yes. You are spontaneous, yes. But you haven’t done sothing bad. Not really. Even when I gave you that private reminder about how you act normally, it was looking out for you. I don’t hold any of that against you. You did well back then. You are completely fine. So, what kinds of things are you doing that you hate?"
Lena hesitated, chewing at the inside of her cheek. "Little things. Big things. I made a joke about sniffing the Empress to you. I don’t know why I do that. I know I’ll hate it. I hate it."
She looked up at Lumi with teary eyes. "I would never do that, Lumi! I would only sniff you! So making a joke about sniffing soone else is pretty much joking that I’m going to cheat on you. And jokes about that are never okay."
She continued, animatedly. "And I know how it will go! I say it- and then I’m like, oh no, what did I just say? Did I just make a joke about going ahead and cheating on him?! He’s going to hate ! And then I see that you didn’t even laugh it off, you remind to not sniff people, which ans you thought there’s a chance I’d sniff them, which ans you thought I might cheat on you! So why do I say such things!? It keeps happening!?"
Lumi blinked, stunned into silence for a mont. Then he let out a quiet sigh and reached for her hands, gently prying them away from the tight clutch she had wrapped around herself.
"Lena." he said softly. "We t yesterday. Can you cheat on soone you just t? And even if we were together, that wouldn’t be cheating. I think you were just being... Well, you. And that’s okay."
Lena lightly replied. "Being ? You an ntally ill? Heh. I do have problems." She shook her head. "I just don’t want to ss things up. I- I don’t know what happened to . I wasn’t like this yesterday. When I started interacting with you. I was wild and didn’t feel bad about it. So why do I feel bad now?"
Lumi grew silent and thought about it. Lena was different from normal people. He knew that from the start, but the longer he spent with her, the more he understood this reality.
She had been changing rapidly. Growing more vulnerable, attached, affectionate...
"..." Lumi tensed as he realized the issue. It was sothing he had been ignoring all along. And yet he shouldn’t have been.
Lena had been growing emotionally attached to him. And way too quickly, at that. It hasn’t even been a week yet. He liked her, sure, but she acted like she already saw him as a soulmate.
She could be herself in the past because she was around randoms, but then she t him. She grew to really care about his opinion, thoughts, and emotions. Now she’s overthinking her actions. Yet the impulsiveness stayed. So now she does things, overthinks it until she thinks she did sothing horrible, and then feels bad about herself.
Or at least, that’s what Lumi thought. He can’t possibly read her perfectly.
"I think," he began carefully, "You found soone you really enjoy, and you’re afraid of losing it. You’re afraid of ssing up sothing important to you. But Lena... you’re not ssing anything up."
She didn’t respond, instead just looked down at the expensive rug.
"You’re you." he said, "You’re strange and impulsive and sotis wildly inappropriate. But I like that about you."
Her lip quivered. "But I still feel like I ruin things just by being around."
"You don’t." he said, and he leaned forward, forehead resting gently against hers. "You add to things."
Lena’s shoulders curled in, she thought for a bit, and finally replied. "I think you are right. You are happy with . You appreciate the way I am. In a way that I can’t help but get attached to."
"...I..." She slowly squeezed Lumi’s hands. "I’m a ss. I’m afraid that one of my impulses will put you off. And I don’t want that. Because I really, really like you."
"I know you really like , Lena." he said gently. "I see it in everything you do. And I must apologize to you."
"You?" Lena looked up confusedly, worry growing in her heart. "No- No. You’re perfect. What do you have to apologize for?"
Lumi lightly shook his head. "I’ve seen how attached you’ve been getting. So quickly, so strongly. And I’ve been completely ignoring it. Moving on as if nothing has happened. So I apologize, Lena. I’ve been inconsiderate of your feelings."
Lena blinked, then furrowed her brow. "But... you’ve been kind. You’ve been patient. I am the one forcing you to deal with this. You already told you want to focus really hard on this ga, and here I am distracting you."
"I think you’re used to blaming yourself." Lumi countered. "We’re in an airship. We have to sit still here anyways for a while. What exactly are you distracting from? You know, when sothing goes wrong, you can’t only bla yourself and no one else."
"T-that’s..." Lena stuttered a bit, thinking about her life. "Not really... the case... I... I know when people are wrong. Like when Ma tells to do sothing and then makes fun of for doing it."
Lena was quiet for a long mont. Her hands, still in his, were trembling slightly. "I don’t want to believe it. But I think I do. A little. I an. I could have understood context clues. Or been a better child so that she wouldn’t do such things to . I’d like to be normal. But I’m not. And most people just run when they realize that."
She took a deep breath, realizing she didn’t make a lot of sense, and continued. "At most I can make friends in gas. Because gars are supposed to be weird, wacky and over the top. Like when soone slings slurs at you over open mic. And you insult them back. But this is... different. This all feels real and... don’t leave ."
"Lena." Lumi started, brushing a strand of hair from her face. "If you say sothing weird, or impulsive, or emotional. I’m not going to run for the hills. You don’t have to punish yourself for being intense."
Lena looked away, biting her lip. "But what about when I ss up? Like when the guy I killed, then you had to pull aside and tell not to be a sadist murderer in front of people?"
"Then we’ll talk. Like we’re doing now." Lumi spoke reassuringly. "Think about it, nothing bad ca from then, did it?"
Lena shook her head, "I suppose not. I just..." Lena swallowed hard, "I’m getting really comfortable around you. And then that ans I start being vulnerable. I seek reassurance and safety and kindness and I worry you’ll hate it."
Lumi firmly replied. "I don’t hate it."
Lena let out a small, bitter laugh. "All this over a simple joke. That I myself made! And then broke down over."
After only a small bit of hesitation, Lumi embraced his feelings, reached his arms out, bringing himself closer to her and giving her a tight embrace.
"Lumi...!" Lena let out a small shocked gasp. "This is the first ti you’ve... hugged... ... first. So fully, so completely..."
"Sorry." Lumi replied, hugging her tighter. "I’ve mostly been trying to ignore it. You are saying things and moving at a pace that is very unexpected."
Lena reached her arms out, far slower, far more aningfully than her many previous embraces. And embraced him back. "Hehe, sorry, I’ll stop being stupid like this... you can trust in not to hold you back, okay?"
She looked up into his eyes. "I love you."
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