Contrary to what Anji thought, she was not allowed to view another mory crystal when she requested it.
"Huh?!"
The reaction was exactly why Yan Ping denied. Although the side effects were not as severe as she had predicted, they were still very present. Anji was rely unaware of it.
"What do you an no? Don’t you know how precious ti is? Are you fucking around now?"
By the ti the words left her mouth, the silence was even louder than her outburst. Anji quickly clasped both hands over her mouth and paled. Shocked that she had let her anger and annoyance get to her in front of her revered teacher, Anji quickly dropped to her knees and begged for forgiveness.
"Shifu, I..."
Raising one hand to stop Anji from spiralling, Yan Ping rely told her student to stand.
"This is why I denied your request," she told Anji firmly. "The people who are insane often do not think they are insane."
It was a refreshing change to see Anji acting her age, even if it was truly from the behaviour of a four-hundred-year-old sage. Yan Ping kept it to herself. Children should have outbursts like this from ti to ti and be more honest. It was the one thing Anji lacked compared to the Grim Reaper of Duan City. More importantly, she had to know how badly traumatised and influenced Anji had beco. Watching the effects of slaughter was traumatising. However, it would be nothing like the murim war outside the barrier of their sect. There was a lot of aftercare to do.
Torn between guilt and confusion, Anji had no idea what she should be doing. Part of her still rembered what she had been doing last week. However, she was starting to forget many details.
"Take the ti to write a reflection journal and see if the doctors need help. Schedule a ti to write letters to your parents as well, but refrain from sending voice and image ssages. I think it would take a little longer before you return to your usual manner of speech."
Heeding her teacher’s words, Anji nodded and returned to the forbidden library’s private study. However, Yan Ping ntioned one more thing that made Anji’s heart sink further.
"I also want a three-page apology letter for all the rude behaviours you have shown so far. Make sure not to miss a single one, or you’ll be suspended from training until further notice."
Bowing low and drowning in remorse, Anji swore to herself that she would write thirty pages instead of three. She had no idea how many rude behaviours she had shown in the past two days. However, whatever she just did was inexcusable. She had no idea what overca her. It was almost as if the Crimson Sabre Master had possessed her.
Now that Anji thought about it, she could not recall when she had started to think of that behaviour as normal. She vaguely recalled feeling shocked when she ate a cockroach. However, sowhere along the mory recollection, she started to feel what he felt and shared the sa opinions about many things, including revenge and slaughter at Duan City. She relished how powerful her sabre was, which nobody could stand against. She also felt the hollowness when her best friend, the blind monk, passed on peacefully. The pain of losing her only friend made losing her eyes and arm tickle in comparison.
Yet, Anji knew sothing was very wrong deep in her heart. That was not her. Anji hated spilling blood. She was a doctor. She treasured her life because her parents and shifu sacrificed too much for her to throw it away carelessly.
The insane truly do not know they are insane. Anji trudged to the study and collapsed onto the floor cushion. She could no longer pretend everything was fine. Sothing inside her had changed, and she had forgotten who she was.
"I am Zhao Anji, the youngest daughter of the Celestial Dragon Sect and ninth successor to the Mystical Qilin Sect," she murmured to herself. "I am a doctor, my teacher is Doctor He, the most talented doctor in this generation. I have two brothers and a sister. They are all amazing in their own ways..."
Recalling as many details as she could about her life as Zhao Anji, the sun slowly set and the moon rose. Yet, Anji continued to recall all the details from before her ti at the Mystical Qilin Sect. She tried to recall the nas of the servants who worked at the Celestial Dragon Sect and their personalities. Yet, it beca increasingly clear just how much she had forgotten.
"There was definitely a gardener," Anji frowned. "He was an old grandpa, and I knew his na. He taught how to shift the persimmon plant into the garden. I even harvested leaves to send to shifu for tea."
But why did she send those leaves to her shifu for tea? Why was she planting persimmons? Anji realised she could not rember why she did all those, even if she had a feeling they were important.
Paling, the girl started to write an urgent letter to her parents, seeking clarification for all the details she could not rember. Did they even have copies of her diary there? Did she even keep a diary?
From outside the study, Yan Ping observed how frantic her student was. Reality had finally sunk into Anji’s mind. Thankfully, she was handling it well. If Anji were to spiral into depression and succumb to ntal delusion, it would be harder to help her. Thankfully, the young child had a very resilient mind. Any weak-willed individual would have lost control of themselves and their sense of identity by the third hour of viewing the mory crystal. Not once did the simulation training trigger Anji’s heart demon. Yan Ping felt a sense of pride in seeing just how strong Anji was. After she overca this, she would be able to overco even tougher obstacles.
Leaving as silently as she arrived, Yan Ping let her successor pour her heart out onto the pages. She initially wanted to take a month off to attend to Anji. However, she might be ready to view the next mory crystal in the next two weeks. This ti, Yan Ping would decide whose mory they would view on behalf of her student.
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