Zhang Zhentian had always known that his grandson was a very sensible child. It was only when he voiced his opinion to his family that he realized his grandson was exceptionally sensible; every word he uttered was well-founded, and as a grandfather, he felt ashad.
"Nai’er, Dad knows you said these things today for Dad’s own good. Do you know? By rashly saying everything outright, you’ll only make it hard for Grandpa to accept. Don’t see your grandpa as so strong; deep down, he’s actually very fragile and afraid of getting hurt. When you said all this today, you might have cast so shadows on his heart. Have you thought that sotis the way you handle things might also cause emotional harm to others? Perhaps while you find peace within, others might be deeply hurt. Do you think such happiness is what you desire? You clearly understand and wish for everyone in the family to live happily.
I know the things you said and did had no ill intentions; you just want everyone in the family to be happy and healthy. But sotis, the way you handle matters is a kind of art. If you tackle problems like this, then I can only say that everything you’ve learned and all the knowledge you’ve acquired over the years were in vain. Did you consider whether your family could bear it when you said these things? You only thought about your own relief. You feel satisfied having spoken, but can others process these hurts?
I’m truly grateful that you helped Dad voice all these thoughts today, as they have been trapped deep within for years, words I dared not say. I was torn, unsure whether to speak them, hesitating for so long. But now that you’ve said everything, I feel liberated deep inside. You voiced all my deep-seated thoughts, but I don’t fully agree with your actions. Because your way only hurt your grandfather, you built our happiness upon his suffering. We are happy now, but he suffers. If this is the exchange, I’d rather not be happy all my life than let my family feel sad and unhappy!"
Zhang Ni seed to understand and not understand; he couldn’t grasp what his father ant by saying all this. He didn’t understand why, after helping express his father’s inner thoughts, his father was instead educating him and saying his way of handling problems was wrong. Was he really that bad? He helped express his father’s innermost thoughts and resolved his biggest inner turmoil, yet why wouldn’t his father focus more on his rits as a son and continued to criticize him repeatedly? Had his previous self been wrong?
"To be honest, Dad, I don’t understand why you keep criticizing repeatedly. Have you considered that I only expressed your deep-seated thoughts, hoping you could live more easily, free from the repression of your own inner thoughts? Why can’t you see my sincerity, my goodwill towards you? You always think everything I do is wrong, but is everything you do always right? You didn’t dare speak your true inner thoughts fearing it would hurt the family. If you can’t even muster the courage to speak your true thoughts, what’s the use of bringing happiness to them if you’re suffering? In this world, living a happy life is most important; if repeatedly satisfying others’ demands makes you miserable, then I’d rather not live like that. I just want to live happily and express myself freely, unbounded by anything.
I used to think of my father as a pillar of strength, believing he would always consider things from my perspective. But now I find everything has changed; my father sees everything I do as wrong because deep inside, you’ve beco fearful. You no longer stand tall like before, no longer trust others as you used to. You fear trusting others ans getting hurt, rendering yourself numb. By hiding all your deep inner thoughts, you prove your inner self right. Have you considered how tiring this is for you? Isn’t this living hard for you? Even if you give everything to others, in their eyes, who are you? Why repeatedly humble yourself for others while sacrificing your happiness? Is your happiness truly happiness?
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