During this period, Zhang Yichen feels quite relaxed. His parents don’t bother him, and at least they no longer argue incessantly as they used to. His wife’s condition has also been relatively stable, with no bad situations or unexpected events occurring. For him, this is a blessing amidst misfortune. He hasn’t lived such a peaceful life in a long ti. He knows that getting to this point hasn’t been easy, but he has never given up.
If there were to be bad outcos due to family conflicts, he truly doesn’t know what kind of ending he would face. Now, he has no energy or interest in dealing with these grudges and grievances. He feels that his days are very fulfilling, yet also very tiring.
It’s been a long and tough journey to get to where she is today. Reflecting on every decision he’s made over the years, can he truly say he’s without guilt? He never considered how he ended up here. He’s lived step by step, solely hoping for his family’s safety. Now that his family has reached the outco he most desired, he feels happy even though his wife hasn’t regained consciousness...
"Dad, to be honest, I’ve lost all hope for this family. I can’t recapture the warmth I once wanted from everyone in the family. Do you understand? When I’ve been tornted ti and again, when I need love and care from the people I love, all I receive in return is pain. I long so much to live my life happily and joyfully, to reach a satisfying ending. But what have I achieved? Nothing. Instead, I’ve lost so much.
No matter how you all view over the years, I’ve truly been happy. Even though I’ve been hurt ti and again, forced to hide under the covers and cry alone, deep in my heart, those were the happiest tis of my life. I’ve reached this point through my own efforts, without relying on anyone. I was raised by my grandfather, and deep down, it makes feel bitter. I’ve received neither your love nor your companionship. Deep in my heart, my parents are like invisible people, never appearing by my side.
The ti when I needed you most has passed, and the past is gone forever, with no chance to return to now. How can you understand the intense pain of the hurt you inflicted on ? I’ve never told anyone about my past pains because it doesn’t help. But today, I can no longer endure it. After all I’ve done, what is my ending? The harm from my own family, and nothing else in return.
When I needed you most, you were wandering around the world, abandoning to face all the pressure alone. Deep down, it was always painful. I never thought my parents would treat so ruthlessly. Was it wrong to want what I wanted? Am I destined to be hurt by my family over and over while I silently endure all the pain? I refuse to accept that. By proving myself through my own efforts, I demonstrate that refusing to accept my fate is the right path.
I considered living at all costs, as long as I could live, I’d be happy with anything. But what did I get in return? Even if I can live this way, in the end, I gained nothing. I lost my lover, lost myself, lost the happy family I could have had, and lost everything I held dear. What’s the point of everything I did then?"
"Child, you should understand. From beginning to end, I never intended to treat you this way. The misunderstanding between us, father and son, runs too deep, far beyond the point of being resolved with just a few words. Have you considered that if I truly wished for you to leave and never return, unwilling to care for you or accompany you, then how could we stand here today? Have you ever thought about things from my perspective? Is everything you did right, and everything I did wrong? I lived for my freedom, for food; was that wrong? I wanted to leave only to make my partner happy, so that you could hopefully have your wife happy and joyful too, and be by your side healthily and safely, never parting. Do you think I don’t wish for the sa?
Many things are simply human nature, but in your eyes, they seem unforgivable. You haven’t considered the tornt and pain I feel as your father deep inside. Have you considered, when I’m caught in the middle, how difficult it is to make a choice? Do you think all of this is just for myself? How difficult was everything I’ve done? If you could see things from my perspective, just a little, the outco might not be what it is now. I don’t want any more unexpected events between us. I don’t want us to keep making a big deal out of this, constantly arguing. Such a life leaves exhausted, and it’s not the life we want."
"Now you suddenly tell that this isn’t the life you want. Do you think I’ll believe you? Maybe once I might have believed every word you said, but now I don’t because believing you only leads to hurting myself over and over again. Why should I let myself be scarred all over while I silently endure all the pain, and you laugh beside ? Why should the only people I owe anything to be my grandfather, my wife, and my child, but not my parents? Just because you never gave love or company, even though you gave life, when you abandoned throughout these years, everything was already settled. We’re in debt to each other no longer. I won’t co together because of your existence, nor will I harbor hatred for your actions. I’m not the person I used to be. I want to live with dignity through my own efforts and will no longer grieve over anyone..."
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