Xia Jing knows that his son doesn’t want to hear any explanations from him right now. In the depths of everyone’s heart, if you can explain your past mistakes now, it just proves you’re guilty and trying to cover up the errors you made. Everyone would think that way, let alone his son. Even if no one else knows what his son is thinking deep down, as a mother, she will always understand the thoughts within his heart. His ways of thinking are different from others.
However, his son still sees him as his mother deep down. If it weren’t so, he wouldn’t keep forgiving the many mistakes he made. To his son, he’s nothing short of a monstrous villain, yet he’s forgiven without hesitation. This proves that as a mother, she will always be a part of him. If he could truly gain her forgiveness, then what regrets would he have in this lifeti?
Perhaps sotis he should consider these issues from his son’s perspective. The mistakes he made in the past might not have been a bad decision or choice. Sotis, he already chose a path in life that nobody else would, yet he still did it. He doesn’t even know if what he did was right or wrong. The greatest hope is that one day he can live happily and joyfully, so that no one in the family feels sadness because of his actions, nor shed tears. If one day he truly achieves this, along with what he desires most, upon reflecting on his repeated mistakes, he feels numb. He doesn’t know what choice is the right one, seeing his beloved in soone else’s arms, smiling happily and joyfully, what kind of feeling does he have in his heart?
"Perhaps you’re right, right now we have no right or ans to say such things to everyone in the family. But I hope you all truly understand our difficulties. Did we want everything to beco like this? We only wanted to bring comfort into our lives. But when everything turned out like this, our hearts still hurt deeply, yet we have no way. When everything ca to pass, we wished none of it was real. No one ever stood in our shoes to share even a bit of the responsibilities and pressures we once bore. We only hoped to live a long life and wished for our family mbers’ happiness. But it seems every decision we make is always wrong. I don’t understand what choice I should make to earn the family’s respect, so they won’t view us with strange eyes each ti we return ho."
Now you simply don’t want to hear any explanations from us because, in your heart, you’ve already determined that everything we did was just for personal gain, with ulterior motives. With every choice and difficulty we faced, misinterpretation followed. We’ve never wanted to avoid responsibility. I only hope for a bit of support from my family during the most difficult tis, even if it’s just a simple word of comfort or a plain word. It would give strength, drive forward without retreating. Yet we’ve received nothing, not even a word of common care from our family. In everyone’s eyes, we’re eternally beyond redemption. But who has considered the tornt we’ve endured or how arduous our paths have been?
Everyone chooses different paths, ultimately becoming different people. No one can foresee all outcos when making choices. Deep down, there’s confusion. No one knows what’s right or wrong. Everyone has reverence and should rely on their efforts to inspire others, becoming the person others most long to see. I don’t understand how I beca this way. I yearn for happiness and joy one day, simple as they may be, even if that happiness is fabricated. I would be content. Just a bit of comfort from my family would feel different. My mood changes unpredictably daily. I constantly wonder how to ponder these issues and distribute my life’s energy to analyze everything, imagining the care or love my family brings ."
"Mom, no matter what you did in the past, or why, even with ulterior motives or unavoidable reasons, abandoning your family was never the right choice. When you chose to abandon them, you lost all rights to speak with them as equals. Confirmation isn’t as simple as King Ao’s whims—picking up and discarding at will. Kinship can’t be bought with money, even with riches. Could it buy your family’s kinship? You abandoned your relatives for money and freedom. When you return years later, what justifies expecting their unwavering forgiveness? They owe you nothing. Even as you chose everything, they felt repeated pain caused by you. They aren’t Saints. The only reason they didn’t oppose you is because they believed that one day you’d realize that family is the best, and family will never betray you!"
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