"In your eyes, the child must think that everything we do is wrong, because we’ve never considered anything from your perspective. But do you know sothing? Our love for you as parents has never changed. Everything you do is absolutely right in the depths of our hearts. Even if you hate us, you will always be my child in our hearts, and nothing will change that; everything won’t change because of anything. I just hope you can live happily, and I can be joyous as well.
There was a ti when I deeply regretted my actions. I never thought that there would co a day when I would bring such consequences upon everyone in the family. But do you know sothing? When those things happened, do you think I, as a parent, could truly remain indifferent in my heart? Yet I watched my child suffer the most severe injuries ti and ti again, and as a parent, I could only remain indifferent, staring helplessly, unable to do anything to help him resolve them. Do you know that kind of sorrow?
For so many years, even though deep down you’ve always blad and your father, do you know that we’ve been silently watching over you? I truly hope soone can tell you that we really miss you, long for you, want to stay by your side to accompany you, but we have no way to make everything beco what we imagine it to be. I can’t make everything return to the way I deeply desire in my heart. Do you know how afraid I am, scared that soday I’ll leave this world? I’m really terrified. I don’t want to wait until the brink of life and death to think of my family, to reflect on what I truly did wrong and what I’ve done that betrays everyone?
I also know that I have no excuse, nor any dignity to beg my own son for forgiveness. But do you know sothing? You are my child, no matter when or where, as parents you will always be our number one in our hearts.
We won’t change everything because of anything. We will let everything develop as we imagine it to be, slowly moving forward. Even if it takes a long ti, even if we might never reach that goal in our lifeti, I’ve tried hard, and I have no regrets. My conscience is clear. I know that when the day I die cos, I can finally rest in peace, right?
The thing I’ve worried about the most in this lifeti is that even after I leave this world, my child will still resent as her mother for not being there, still bla everything I’ve done as mistakes. I don’t want to bear this blow or suffer this pain. This isn’t the life I want. Perhaps everyone thinks I’ve lived selfishly all these years, but who hasn’t lived selfishly for oneself at least once? My past selfishness resulted in such a murderous outco, and I really regret it. I will never again act ignorantly like I did before, causing myself sadness.
If you truly regard as your mother, truly hope that I can stay well by your side, then I beg you, I beg you to give a chance, so I can live well, so I can strive for my own life once. Don’t bind my thoughts ti and again, making it impossible for to live. I can’t make everything beco what I want it to be; such a life is truly a tornt. I’ve experienced it for too many years now, and I don’t want to continue living like this."
Zhang Yichen had never seen his mother plead desperately with anyone like today. Should his mother continue to plead here, while he remains indifferent? Perhaps he’s not really a heartless person, but how can he ever forget the emotional pain his mother once brought him? Maybe he should learn to forget, to let go of all the pain and hurt, so everyone can live in the happiest monts, so everyone can have their lifeti of happiness.
But perhaps for a lifeti, there’s no way to pretend none of it ever happened. He’s done too much, and each event hit him so hard that he could never let it beco the conclusion he’s always wanted. Hopefully, in his next life, he can make everything turn out as he wishes.
"Mom, knowing now, why would you have done those things in the first place? You knew the wrongs; did you really think we could casually forget as if nothing ever happened? Honestly, I’m powerless. I can’t be as strong as you imagine. I can’t pretend none of it ever happened. How could I casually forget the hurt I’ve been through?
Maybe deep down in your heart, you think I’m your child, and I should naturally endure the harm you’ve done to just once. But that’s not the truth. We should learn to give up everything we originally resisted. We should change our deepest desires. Why must we hurt each other over and over again? Do you think this is the life we want? You’re my mom, yet have you really considered how your son feels deep inside when you say those words? In fact, you never have. I really don’t understand what made you beco Lady Numb like this. What pain did you endure to make you repeatedly think I should naturally forgive you?
No matter what, my father would never say such words to . He wouldn’t force to make any decisions. He’d only comply with my wishes. But you? For all these things, it was solely to make comply with your attitude. But is your attitude really more important than everyone’s attitude? Just because of your attitude, should I abandon everyone’s viewpoint to endorse yours?
People have births, aging, illnesses, and deaths. I know, and I know, you fear facing this day, and I fear it as well. But should we escape everything just because we’re scared?
There was a ti when I thought, as long as I could live happily, as long as you can be happy, I don’t care. Even if you are never by my side in this lifeti, I would not bla you."
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