If there are things left unsaid between us, misunderstandings between us will deepen over ti. To continue living like this, we must be open and honest with each other.
"Do you really think I don’t want to let go of all the pain? It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s that I can’t. Ti and again, I’ve had to endure all the pain deep inside. All I want is a stable life, but my life keeps getting disrupted. Can I not bla anyone? Should I willingly endure all this suffering? I’ve watched helplessly as everything changes before my eyes, as those I care about get taken away. Do you know how painful that feels? No one ever considered what kind of heart-wrenching pain that is. You always think your decisions are right, but what about ? Am I ant to be abandoned and hurt by you as parents, ti and again?
You say you’re no Saint, but what about ? Am I supposed to be the Saint? You’re tired living, I’m tired living, we’re all tired living, but I really don’t want to be this tired. Do you know how painful it is to be this exhausted? I just wish I could sleep and never wake up again. Maybe that’s the life I want, hiding in a pitch-dark coffin, never fearing the darkness again because I’ve already entered that place completely. When there’s no chance to ever leave that place, everyone would be relieved. All you wish is for to leave this world, leave you all. In your eyes, only when I’m gone can you feel at ease, can you be happy, because what I want you can’t give , what you want I can’t provide. In your eyes, everything I do is wrong, no matter how I try, you never see my good. Deep down, I’m forever the bad child!
In order to gain your understanding, to prove to you that I am the strongest, I’ve walked this path step by step, enduring so much hardship and pain. While everyone else laughs and enjoys happiness, what am I doing? I’m desperately pushing forward, because I want everyone to know I’m not the worst. I want my family to know, because your abandonnt has made who I am today, this outco is because you abandoned , making numb, ruthless towards everything.
You are my parents, how could you treat like this? I am your child, what do I get after all? In the end, it’s another disappointnt, another hurt. What benefit do you say you get from this?"
"Child, your father knows that life has been hard for you all these years, but who hasn’t had a hard ti? Like you said, everyone alive is tired, if you want not to be tired, unless you are already in a coffin. But can’t you let go of these things now? Do you realize that by letting go, you’d be relieved, you wouldn’t have to bear all this suffering anymore, your inner tornt could be wholly reduced? This is the result we all want, why do you insist on holding on? What good will it do you? You hang onto clearly unbearable pain, knowing full well it hurts you over and over, knowing we push you deeper into the abyss, yet you still want us back by your side."
"I’m afraid, afraid that if I could let go, I already would’ve. Why insist on now? What result has my repeated persistence brought ? Deep down, don’t I know? You really think I’m living happily, joyfully? My agony is no less than yours. I constantly repress all despair deep inside, all I want is a peaceful life, but I ultimately get nothing. Because I understand, even if I give everything I’ve got, I’m nothing in your eyes. Only by striving and proving again and again to everyone, till the end, that I am indeed the strongest, can I have the qualification to show you I’m the best. Only then will you not cruelly abandon . I just want my parents to stay by my side, is that wrong?
I’ve really given so much, so much. I’m the kind who takes for granted what I have, only realizing the importance of soone after losing them. But if soone’s heart isn’t with , no matter what I do, they’ll never pay any attention. Ti and again I’ve been retaliated against, causing unbearable pain, all to avenge the hurt I once gave them. She avenged , he rejoiced, could laugh heartily. But what about ? I can only weep silently. I know n rarely cry, unless deeply saddened. Who knows how unhappy I am, I keep repressing all the pain inside. All I desire is to live happily, but what do I ultimately get? I’ve got nothing, only exchanged for a lifeti of wounds!
Dad, can you understand how much pain I endure? Can you understand? I’m your child, why treat like this? I truly cannot comprehend with what mindset you decided to abandon everyone in our family. How did you act this way deep inside? Why treat us this way, does everyone in this family an less to you than your so-called freedom and joy? Have you soared freely all these years outside? Not at all, instead you’ve lost your family. You’ve personally destroyed everything completely. Now that you’ve returned here, I still accept because deep inside, I hope for love from my parents. But after one effort after another, is this the outco? I can’t remain indifferent, ignore what I see. It grinds away at more than I can bear. I’m nearly collapsing, turning into a demon, almost mad. Step by step, I’ve driven myself here, all brought upon by myself, ruining all the endings I desired.
In the end, who can save it by flooding, can only bla myself for being foolish, to beco like this, who knows how deeply painful it is inside , I really can’t let go!"
Who can foresee what they once went through, who knows how dreadful the path walked was? I once thought I was the strongest... the result was...
User Comments
0 comments from readers