Happiness has always been in one’s own hands, and my life has always been controlled by others. But what has really caused my life to change...
"So you always thought I chose to be with you because of money. You don’t understand . What I really want isn’t like this. I just want to spend my life with the man I love the most. When I achieved my ideal goals and married the man I love the most, I found that I’ve already been content with my life!
But in your eyes, perhaps you think this is nothing major, but for , it’s a huge thing. I can tolerate you overlooking ti and ti again. I can tolerate your repeated doubts about . I can bear it that you’re almost never by my side when I seek you out. But I cannot tolerate you falsely accusing over and over again, unwilling to give even the most basic trust.
In the eyes of outsiders all these years, others think we are a loving couple. But what is the truth? How have you truly treated ? Don’t you have any sense in your heart? No matter how much I try to please you, you always brush it off with a smile. Do you know that sotis it really hurts ? I also feel like a failure. Why, having treated the one I love with such sincerity, do I end up with such a result? Why does the person I sincerely love never want to tell he loves ?
I can’t distinguish anymore which words are true and which are false. But I really don’t want much. I’m begging you, don’t strip away my right to happiness over and over. I just want to be with you. I’ve changed a lot for you, but ultimately found that no matter how I change, I will never match up to you. You are always a bit higher than because your education is different from mine, your background is different from mine, everything about you is different from mine—your views on life, values, ideals. But do you know? It’s precisely these differences that made follow your footsteps. Being with you, I slowly started changing my views following yours, adapted my values to yours.
Do you really think all this is so insignificant? Do you think I’m naturally despicable and should be treated this way by you? You naturally live high above the clouds, elevated by others, so must I, as your wife, be trampled underfoot, never to rise again?
Yichen, I have no way to ascertain how you truly see us now. Your indifference almost drives to breakdown at tis. I don’t know what I should do, nor with what attitude I should face you. Many things are clearly not my fault, but for the sake of your so-called dignity, to make you happy, I choose to lower my head and admit fault repeatedly. But in the end, I find that no matter how weak I am, you will never care about my feelings. Why is what I want so difficult to get?
When I ask you questions again and again, you always try to evade them. Whenever we encounter problems, when I want to thoroughly figure things out, you choose to unjustly accuse , not distinguishing right from wrong. Do you truly believe ? Do you really see as family? On the day you confessed your love, during these years you sincerely treated well, I regarded you as my own family. Yet you saw as a tool for your use."
"I have never treated you as a tool for my use. I just want you to stay peacefully at ho, not running around carelessly. It’s not that I don’t trust you, but the mistakes you’ve made make it impossible for to trust you. I’m also afraid, afraid that one day past events will replay, I can’t bear such a hurt. Why? You’ve hurt many tis, so do you now understand what it feels like not to be trusted?"
"When I was with you, I told you every truth wholeheartedly. I completely trusted you, never once doubting you. But you, you never believed in . Maybe you think I’m contemptible, why should everything go according to your wishes? Why should I, when many things aren’t my fault, bear all the bla just to make you happy?
I pondered repeatedly for a long ti, but couldn’t find a suitable resolution until I finally understood it. Because I do all this simply because I love you. Yet in the end, it led to such an outco. Do you truly know ? You always thought I stayed with you for Xiao Jing and wealth and glory. There are so many people, so many wealthy people, others could give wholehearted trust. So why did I still choose to be with you? Because I believed that one day I could warm your heart, which turned cold because of , with my changes."
"Rember you once said that your heart is dead, and it would never love again. Yet ultimately you still chose to be with . I don’t know if you are with to tornt or to use .
Why do you treat like this? Why not give a calm and stable life? Why repeatedly distrust ? To you, it might seem trivial, but to , it’s a lethal pain..."
"Zhihan, so things are in the past. We should not bring them up again. Isn’t living peacefully now a good life? Why provoke those people from your past? You know full well they don’t an well, so why do you still do this? Are you blatantly testing my patience?
My patience has limits. I can’t endlessly accept and love you without bounds. I just want the best for you, like you wholeheartedly being with , never having anyone else in your heart. But you, can you truly do this? If you can, then I can let go of everything!"
"It’s too late for you to say these things to now. Since you’ve unjustly accused without distinction, without even a single apology, why should I now forgive you?
I really want to ask you: what gives you the right to unjustly accuse without distinction? How do you see in your heart? Why, having done wrong, and unjustly accused soone without distinguishing right, not even offering a single apology, do you have the right to be so arrogant? Just because you have money?"
Is money really so important? Does one need to give up what they care most about and what they most want to possess because of money?
If that’s the case, then I don’t want to live this hard life.
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