In the past, I used to fear that I would endure unfair treatnt ti and again, subjecting myself to all sorts of internal tornt, but once I finally reached this point, I discovered that all this is not actually terrifying. What is frightening is not even having the courage to face it.
"Now you co to tell about the past, but do you know how much I once cared about this family? I never did all of this for my own happiness; it was so everyone in the family could live happily. That’s why I made such decisions. But why did it turn out that everything was just my fault? Who has ever stood in my shoes to consider the hurt I experienced in the past?"
Zhang Yichen couldn’t hold back a laugh; he felt as if his mother’s worldview was entirely different from his own. Everything his mother did was right, but everything he did was wrong. Who ever thought about what he used to desire? In the end, thinking back, what did all his efforts amount to? No one ever considered everything from his perspective, and life remained tough for him.
Perhaps I really should have forgiven them from the beginning and not harbored such thoughts. Does forgiving them guarantee that they would consider my life from my perspective? No, my parents have always been so selfish and never considered things from my angle.
Maybe my expectations were too high.
"Mom, hearing these words from you today doesn’t make feel any better deep inside. I never thought there would be a day when you would speak to in such a tone. I just hoped everyone could live happily, yet you ended up treating like this. In your eyes, am I simply your son? If you truly considered your own son, you wouldn’t use such words to threaten and hurt today. Every word you said felt like a knife piercing into my heart. Have you ever considered how much stress my heart can bear?
In the end, I can’t believe my heart has the strength to endure so much. With all the harm you’ve given so far, I’ve never given up. I keep pushing myself to make bigger decisions step by step.
Now, you think everything you did in the past was for my good, but have you really considered if this is the outco I wanted? It wasn’t easy for to get where I am today. Everything I’ve done was in the hope that everyone could live happily. All I want is a simple life, but why is it nothing in your eyes? I’m left with nothing inside your heart. You have never considered what kind of outco I deserve. In your inner world, there’s only room for you, no one else. Perhaps we are always like this, but there’s no way to live happily as before; the repeated occurrences of such things between us have already proven it all.
Do you think I’m easy to bully? When I have no classes, you think you can leave without even a goodbye, or when you want to co back and say a few nice words, I’ll forgive you. Have you considered that there’s a limit to forgiveness? After countless tis, who would want to forgive you endlessly without any boundaries, only to receive more harm as a result? Why should others forgive and endure repeatedly like this?
I really don’t understand how a person as strong-willed as you on the inside can forgive others so easily with a smile after being hard by them repeatedly. Can you truly pretend as if nothing has ever happened? It’s actually impossible; you have no way to do so. Deep down, you know clearly that all of this has already caused hurt, and there’s no way to change it. No one will give you everything you want for no reason. What people have given you is just hoping you can achieve your desired outco. But do you truly want us all to live happily? Your repeated actions have only made things awkward for everyone. You’ve embarrassed in front of others ti and again, yet I don’t bla you. Even if you hurt repeatedly, I still don’t bla you. After all, you are my family, you are my mother who gave birth to and raised . I can forgive all your faults for you, but I can’t foolishly act as if everything’s fine after being used by you ti and again. I can’t pretend nothing happened this ti after you used again. I can’t do it; I can’t be selfless like that. All I want is to live a carefree and happy life, even if that result isn’t exactly what I desire, at least I wouldn’t be living so tired and distressed like I am now. I truly don’t know what attitude to adopt, or what way to express the kind of life I should have. I’ve lived too tired, too exhausted. Never have I considered how I should live to achieve all this, unlike how it is now.
I originally planned to forgive you, but after hearing what you’ve said, I’ve suddenly changed my mind. I wonder why I should forgive you when every word you said is so excessive. If I choose to forgive you again and again, will you escalate and hurt more often? I can’t bear this kind of harm anymore; I just wish to live calmly and peacefully, without being disturbed by anyone.
If you truly want us to live happily, then please don’t use such words to hurt in the future. The consequences of hurting offer no benefits for either you or . Who is there to gain after you hurt once, except the growing distance between us? The distance has gradually beco irreversible, so how do you think we should get along in the future?
I hope you can be more lenient and let have a peaceful life; it’s not worth it to harm and suppress like this with no good outco."
Xia Jing remained silent. He couldn’t believe that his son would say such words to him today. It was unbelievable, but he also knew it was simply the consequence of the wrongdoings he once committed, a responsibility he should bear for everything...
The mont he found the courage to face all of this, he had already co to terms with everything, no longer holding the hopeful expectations of the past, wishing for the things he once desired. Now, he only hoped for his family’s safety. He was no longer afraid, able to face things boldly.
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