The path I once walked, who could truly stand in my shoes and consider my struggles? How painful it once was, who would know? Watching helplessly as everything I cared about left my side, willing to see everything I loved go against , seeing the things I used to yearn for, always feeling the kind of disappointnt of never being able to attain them, who could understand?
After accepting all the trials again and again, I repeatedly convinced myself that I’d done my best. But in your minds, what do I even an?
I lost what I loved most, the woman I loved is gone, my beloved family shattered. I never thought I would end up like this one day. Why did the road I traveled lead to this state? How I wish I could be carefree and happy, but it’s likely nothing more than my own wishful thinking.
"Since you’ve co to terms with it now, I don’t know what more to say. Let’s take this ti to calm down and think clearly. Why did we initially get together? Was it just an impulsive decision, or was it true love? If the result makes neither of us happy, then let’s separate for a while, give each other ti to think it through, then face these questions again. Or, for a lifeti, if we are to be lifelong partners, if a couple is full of doubt and mistrust, they won’t be happy together. I don’t want to be in opposition with my wife when we’re together!"
"I’ve already said, I know what to do. I’ve admitted it, and I won’t disturb you anymore. Why do you insist on bringing up these things? You just want to fly freely outside for a while, that’s fine. I won’t restrict you from flying outside, however you want to fly is up to you; whether you soar against the skies or stay grounded as a land-bound duck, it has nothing to do with . You are free during this ti, but once it passes, you must co back to . Don’t think you can escape from my side again." Ran Zhihan finished speaking and hung up the phone, leaving Zhang Yichen no chance to retort.
As soon as the call ended, Xia Jing called Zhang Yichen.
"Hello, mom? Is there sothing up? It’s so late, haven’t you gone to bed yet?" Zhang Yichen began speaking to Xia Jing.
"Yichen, mom has sothing to ask you, did you have a fight with your wife and run away from ho? Now your grandfather is searching all over for you, your dad has even reached out to , claiming that I took you away."
"Mom, I don’t know how to explain this to you right now. I’m living alone abroad, and I’ll return in a while. I’ve just had a little spat with my wife and don’t know how to face her. It’ll get better with ti. Please don’t argue with dad over my issues. If she cos to you again looking for , just say I’m abroad and it has nothing to do with you!"
Xia Jing finally understood, but Zhang Zhentian wouldn’t believe her.
"You silly child, do you think your dad will believe what I say? If he did, he wouldn’t be looking for people through . He doesn’t trust at all. He thinks your running away is my fault, that I instigated it. Yet he has no idea it has nothing to do with . In all this ti, you haven’t even contacted of your own accord. But he thinks I’m hiding your whereabouts on purpose, unwilling to tell him."
"Then why don’t you just get back together with dad? He surely cares about you, and just doesn’t know how to talk to you directly, using as a pretext."
"I’ve said it many tis, ever since he first proposed divorce to , I decided I could never be with him again in this lifeti. Since he made that decision, don’t think of regretting it; there’s no redy for regret. He proposed divorce not once but repeatedly, and each ti I forgave him. But this ti, I won’t. Every act of his gets more outrageous. Why should I mindlessly forgive him over and over? Just because he’s my husband? Just because I love him? Should I always understand and take the bla for him? I once believed that if he did sothing wrong, he would take responsibility and not push everything onto , a woman. But that ti I realized he was just a coward unwilling to take responsibility. He wanted to bear all his faults, disrespecting completely. I once saw him as so important, yet he expected to shoulder all his guilt. I truly don’t understand, why after making a choice, should there be regret now? Wouldn’t it be better to part peacefully, rather than damage each other and turn to enemies? Every word he now says disgusts , each action feels repulsive and unforgivable. The feelings I had are gone, love is no longer there. My love for him was buried deep when he abandoned , and it will never revive."
Zhang Yichen didn’t know what to say to his mom, seeing things co to this, could it truly have nothing to do with him? If he hadn’t repeatedly hurt his parents’ hearts, they wouldn’t have reached this stage. Ultimately, he is the cause as their son...
"In truth, you both did nothing wrong. The fact that it’s co to this point is my doing, I should bear the bla as the eldest son. You shouldn’t have lost lifelong happiness because of . You were so in love before, everyone knew this. Watching how fearlessly you loved each other, I was envious. But now because of , this is the only outco you can choose. How do I co to terms with this?"
"This can’t be blad on you. We were the ones who cruelly abandoned you, as parents, we didn’t fulfill our duties. Our abandonnt is why you ca to hate us. But now that you’ve chosen to forgive us, that’s the greatest gift we could receive. I just want to quietly live out my remaining years, seeing my descendants is enough. I no longer wish to consider rebuilding with him, it was so exhausting. I gave up too much for him, and now I should live well for myself. Perhaps when your father finally cos to his senses, we’ll each find our own peace. I hope you have ti to speak to him, help him understand parting peacefully is best, and we shouldn’t be bitter for any reason."
Who can verify that I haven’t tried in life? Of all the hardships I faced, who ever contemplated my sacrifices? How much did I give? In the mont I gave my all, what did I leave behind, what did I gain, what did I ultimately receive?
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