Now I finally understand what love truly is. Love is not about forcing things carelessly, nor is it sothing that can be genuinely achieved through every word others say. In fact, the most important thing is to have your own joy and happiness in this lifeti. When you give up on the endings you deserve ti and again, yet they still don’t arrive, how tornted your heart must be.
"There’s really no point in you doing this. What you’ve done will never make my heart love you the way it used to. My love for you already ended the day you gave up on . It was you who abandoned it, so why tell now that you regret it? Do you think forcibly keeping by your side will make you happy? Do you think I would be happy staying by your side? If you truly have even a trace of affection for , then I hope you’ll consider my feelings—don’t force to stay with you. That would be painful for . I feel that being with you lacks love, and a loveless marriage cannot bring happiness. You know this, don’t you? By forcibly keeping with you, not only will you not be happy, but we will both be left scarred."
"I don’t care about that. Even if I forcibly keep you by my side, the two of us will never live happily like before. Yet for , as long as I have you with , I am content. I’m not so greedy as to want you to love like you did before. I just want to keep you by my side so you’ll never be able to leave ."
Xia Jing didn’t expect Zhang Zhentian to be as selfish as he was before. He would even go so far as to keep her by his side, regardless of the pain they would both endure. But what’s the use of such a marriage? Can a marriage still claim happiness when staying together brings only wounds? If there is no happiness in it, why stay together? Wouldn’t that just leave both of them scarred?
"You really have no reason to do this. It will only harm both of us. You can certainly find soone else to spend your later years with. That way, they will be happy, and your family won’t be upset about your being single. I could also seek the life I want without daily entanglent. Don’t you understand? If you take this step, it would be imnsely beneficial for everyone. Can’t you make so sacrifice for the people you care about?" Xia Jing really didn’t understand what her so-called husband was thinking. Why was he always so obstinate? Didn’t he realize his actions would hurt everyone?
Zhang Zhentian wasn’t able to listen to any of his wife’s words. His only concern was keeping her by his side, which was the greatest benefit for him. He had no other desires in this life; his only wish was for his wife to be by his side, never to leave. But was this not very difficult for their family? Ti and again, he acted as he did, but why should they still choose to forgive him for every mistake he made?
"You don’t really need to say these things to now. I can’t believe what you say, as you’ve deceived so many tis before. I just want to keep you by my side. Does this make you feel troubled? Or does it let your heart feel relief? Am I wrong for wanting the person I love to be with forever? I know I’ve been selfish before, not believing in my own love or trusting anyone’s true feelings towards . But gradually, I realized that if I don’t change, the person I love will just drift further away from . It’s already been proven—I couldn’t change my cowardly, fearful, selfish nature, which drove you away from . You will never want to stay by my side for life, and perhaps this is my punishnt. You all think I’ve beco selfish, but who considers why I’ve co to this point? Isn’t it so I can be with you? Does wanting to stay with those I care about make you feel so dissatisfied, so much so that you want to escape , not willing to be with ? What did I do wrong to make you treat this way? I admit I’ve made unforgivable mistakes, but I’ve already paid for them. For so many years, I’ve never had a peaceful day; I live each day in regret and remorse. This tortured existence because of my mistakes—I’ll never forgive myself. I know you’re also struggling and in pain, so aren’t we equally suited to be together because of our shared suffering? We could understand each other’s pain, and we’ve missed out on too much. I don’t want to miss another day without you, as such a loss would make my life worse than death..."
"Now that you say these things to , it only disgusts . You’ve said the sa things before, yet you still abandoned ruthlessly. Did you think you’d regret it soday back then? If you had known you’d regret it, would you have still abandoned back then without hesitation? The mistakes from the past will never be forgotten. Being with you and having such a lovely child was my greatest joy; no one can understand the happiness I felt as a mother. It was my life’s pride. He’s so outstanding, and he has every right to hate for being abandoned by his heartless mother for years. I can’t forgive myself; I don’t know how many mistakes I’ve let go because every ti I face them, I’m horrified. The mistakes I’ve made are beyond explanation, and I know I’ll never be able to live with my son again. I’ve hurt them and ruined so many lives—why should I deserve to live with them? Why should they forgive ti and ti again?"
Zhang Zhentian didn’t think his wife could be so self-critical. He didn’t know how to console her, realizing at that mont how utterly useless he was—unable even to bring joy to his own wife.
"Happiness cos from mutual giving. If each step you take is only about making yourself happy, neglecting everyone’s care and love, then what use is your happiness even if it reaches you? You’ve lost the things you should have protected most in this life!"
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